broken, part 5
my last two updates were on october 30 and november 30, so i tried really hard to get this out earlier... but it looks like i'm a little over an hour late. *sigh* oh well. i promise to start updating faster! (does anyone even remember this story?)
Title: Broken, Part Five: Reason
Author: girlpire
Rating: I'm calling it NC17, but so far it's pretty tame.
Pairing: Fred/Angelus
Disclaimer: This story is based on the "Angel" series, with which I am not affiliated in any way. Joss Whedon is my master, etc.
Distribution: Please no. kthnxbye. :)
Summary: Fred deals with the consequences of her decision to release Angelus.
Warnings: Well, it's kind of dark. There's some hitting and other sorts of abuse. I mean, it's Angelus, right?
Author's Notes: This story takes place during season four of "Angel" and season seven of "Buffy." Here are all of the previous parts:
Breakable
Broken, Part One: Sick Little Girl
Broken, Part Two: Just Water
Broken, Part Three: External Tools
Broken, Part Four: The Mind and the Body
banner by frimfram because she is so awesome.
*
They stopped at one more magic shop that night. This one was not as hidden as the others, the big sign out front proclaiming "MAGIC BOX" in large letters. It looked friendly, as far as Fred could tell from the outside -- much less forbidding than the other ones they had visited.
She automatically picked a spot to lean against the wall, assuming that Angelus would want her to wait outside again. She watched him slowly regard the shop in detail before he approached the door. He sniffed, squinting, then broke the doorknob and pushed the door open. He stuck his head inside. Without looking back at her, he said, "You can come in this one." Then he went in.
Fred followed cautiously, surprised that she was being allowed to enter. One glance proved that this place was closed for business, though. It was completely dark inside, so she let the door swing open all the way, a rectangle of light from the streetlamps casting across the floor.
Decimated. That word used to mean to destroy only one tenth of something, or kill one person out of ten. Now the popular meaning is effectively the reverse -- a place has been decimated if it has been mostly destroyed, or at least devastated beyond repair. This meaning probably predominates because of the general lack of need for a word meaning "to kill one person out of ten." Not everyone accepts the popular meaning, though. Some people prefer words like annihilate.
Annihilated, then. The interior wall structure was badly damaged, big gaping holes in every surface, and the ceiling was half caved in. There had been shelves in some places, which were now collapsed. A large round table lay broken in half in the middle of the floor. There were a few items scattered about, all broken. Fred assumed that any surviving merchandise had either been moved or stolen. She could just make out the outline of Angelus crouched in a far corner, moving some broken shelves to peer under them.
Fred picked up half of a candle from the floor. "What do you suppose happened here?" she asked.
A pause, and then, "It was her," he replied, picking through some large pieces of jagged glass. "This entire place reeks of her."
Of course. The whole reason they were here. "Buffy," Fred said quietly.
"Yeah..." Angelus said, standing. "Her too."
Fred looked up sharply, but he was already moving away, going through a hole in the wall that lead to another room. She followed him.
"What do you mean, 'her too'?" she asked.
Angelus was looking around slowly, taking in the scattered blue mats and symbols on the floor and walls. He glanced over his shoulder at Fred. "I mean that I can smell her too." He gestured toward a stuffed dummy which had fallen in the corner. "Looks like she trained here. Not anymore though. Obviously."
"Yes, but... her too? Like there was - is - some other... person?" She shook her head in confusion. "I thought we were here because of --"
"What, you think I came back to Sunnydale for the Slayer?" Angelus interrupted.
"Well, I just thought... I mean, why else would --"
"Not that I won't kill her too, if I have the chance. In fact, I'm sort of hoping for it. But I wouldn't have made the drive just for that." Apparently satisfied that the room held nothing interesting, he turned back to the large hole that probably used to be a doorway, and she followed him through it again.
"Then what are we actually doing here?" she asked.
He was walking around the shelves again, running one hand along the remaining wooden surfaces. "None of your business," he murmured.
She clenched her teeth. She wanted to shake him. She wanted to holler, It is my business! You brought me here! I am a part of this! She wondered what kind of reaction she'd get from an outburst like that. She said nothing.
"How's your face?" he suddenly asked, out of nowhere. He wasn't looking at her.
"My...? Oh. It's fine. It's..." She reached up and ran a fingertip along the place where she'd accidentally cut herself. She thought about his tongue. "I can barely even tell where it was," she said.
They were quiet for a while after that. She watched him wander around the room in the almost-dark, touching everything, the things in his bag clinking softly together as he walked. She buried her hands in the pockets of the oversized jacket she was wearing and tried not to think about anything.
Finally, he turned. "There aren't any here," he said. He headed for the door.
"Any what?" she asked.
He paused. "Anything. There isn't anything here, Fred. And now we're leaving."
She followed him out of the front door with a sigh, pulling it closed behind her. She thought she heard a little bell tinkling as it shut.
*
She didn't have a watch, but Fred guessed it to be about two in the morning. The streets had emptied, and they saw almost no one as they walked along, Angelus two steps ahead of her. The shop doors all displayed large padlocks. She wondered if the owners actually thought they did any good in a place like Sunnydale.
One odd thing she noticed was the excessive amount of alleyways they passed. There seemed to be more alleys than buildings to make them, which, although physically impossible, would probably not be unprecedented on a Hellmouth. The orange light from the streetlamps seemed to stop right at the edge of them, and more than once Fred thought she saw figures standing just inside the darkness, disappearing when she looked at them again. She pulled the coat tighter around her body and walked closer to Angelus. He had one hand in his pocket and didn't seem to notice her.
Angelus paused once to look down an alley and growl. Fred heard loud footsteps rapidly disappearing down that way. Then he started walking again.
She found herself wondering who would win in a fight, Angelus or the Beast. Back in L.A., the Beast had swiftly handed Angel his ass, but Angelus knew something about the Beast that the rest of them didn't know, right? That was why he was here in the first place. Maybe he knew the Beast's weakness. Then again, maybe it was all just an elaborate plan to free Angelus so he and the Beast could watch hockey together. Did rock monsters follow the L.A. Kings?
Of course, that idea led to a mental picture of Angelus and the Beast going ice skating together while holding hands, and that quickly became a picture of them doing ballet, Angelus as the Mouse King, which led to the memory of Giselle and how beautiful Charles looked in a tuxedo.
She tried to stop thinking. She refused to worry about the gang in L.A. They could take care of themselves. And Charles, Wesley, Lorne, Cordy, and Connor all together could definitely stand up against Angelus. Right? Five against one. Well, four, if you didn't count Lorne. But still, Connor was his match for strength and speed, so he could stall while the others... strategically placed themselves... with weapons, and...
Oh, God. She swallowed. They were all dead. How else could Angelus be standing here with her now, leading her around a demon-infested hell hole while the sun over Los Angeles boiled black? Her friends were dead, and it was all her fault. She started to cry. Angelus kept walking, and she forced herself to follow him, trying not to sob out loud.
She could hear their voices. Charles, hurt and confused, Baby, why? Wesley, shaking his head slowly, his voice resigned, Oh, Fred. You've no idea what you're getting into. She covered her ears. Tears slid down her face and left cold tracks. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to think.
In Pylea, there is a word that means despair. She tried to remember it now. Kurrtzu? Kurritzu? Kurratzu? The literal meaning is "to be buried so deeply in sorrow that one's only option is to distract oneself with physical pain." She had a sudden memory of her cousin Bryce yanking a lock of her hair so hard she screamed. They were at Grandpa Burk's farm, and the old man had made Bryce pick out his own switch to be punished with. As she walked, Fred slid one hand back into her hair and grabbed a fistful of it. She'd been tender-headed for a couple of days after. Like a bruise. She took a deep breath and --
"We're here."
-- bumped into Angelus.
She dropped her hands to her sides and took a quick step back, glancing up at his face through tear-clouded eyes. She blinked, renewing the wet tracks down her cheeks.
He frowned at her. "What the hell are you crying about?" he asked.
She opened her mouth to speak, then just shook her head.
"Well, doesn't matter, you can't go in like that." He irritably pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and refolded it, covering the spots of blood from her cheek earlier, then began to wipe her face dry. When he was done, he stuffed the hanky back in his pocket. He took her chin in one hand and slowly turned her face from side to side, studying her. Then, he sighed.
"You just insist on being ugly, don't you?" he said. "I'd leave you out here to wait, but you smell so desperate you've been attracting demons for the last few blocks. I just wish we'd taken a little more time with your appearance before I had to be seen with you." He sighed again. "Well, what can you do? Come on."
She sniffed hard and wiped her nose before following Angelus into one of the dark alleys. She did probably look horrible, but she didn't care. It served the monster right, after killing her friends, to have to be seen with a wreck. She smoothed her hair. Why hadn't she brought the makeup with her?
They were down by the docks, and Fred could hear the ocean not too far away. The heavy smell of saltwater and old fish made her grimace. She could also smell something rotten and decaying nearby, and she began to breathe with her mouth instead of her nose. She could hardly see anything in the dark, but followed the vague outline of the vampire in front of her. They soon stopped in front of a door she would have missed entirely if he'd not been with her. Above the door, a barely legible sign read "FISHTANK."
Angelus reached for the door, then hesitated and turned to Fred. "There will probably be a lot of demons in here," he told her gruffly, "so stay close to me."
She nodded, and he looked at her carefully, then sighed and turned back to the door. "Not too close, though," he added. "I still have my pride." He pulled open the door and stepped inside, letting it swing after him. She caught the door before it closed and followed him in.
So this was where the horrible smell was coming from. Fred fought the urge to gag, wondering how Angelus could stand being somewhere this stinky with his sensitive nose. As she looked around the bar, she imagined she could actually see the stench rising from some of the more gelatinous patrons. This was what her life was now. Going to stinky bars in the middle of the night with a vampire to visit Jabba the Hut. Her eyes started to water again. Mostly it was from the smell.
Angelus stalked slowly up to the bar, no less menacing for his lack of billowy coat. She followed him, eyes down. She looked up again when the bartender spoke.
"No sssouls allowed," he hissed, flicking his forked tongue in Fred's direction. "Houssse rulesss."
"She's with me," Angelus responded, his voice cold. "I believe I'm soulless enough for the both of us. Or would you like me to prove it?"
The bartender quickly turned his head to regard the vampire with one lidless eye. "Angelusss?" he asked. "To what do I owe thisss pleasure? I had heard Willy's Place was more your ssstyle."
"Willy's a snitch. Snitches bother me, Eddie. You can't trust them. And I know for a fact that that one's working for the Slayer." At the word "slayer," Fred noticed the level of conversation noise drop significantly. She felt eyes on her back.
"I need real information," Angelus continued. He casually set his hand down on the bar. There were three one-hundred dollar bills underneath it. "Used to be able to get that here. I'd hate to find out I was wrong."
Eddie glanced down at the money, then jerked his head toward a doorway that led to a back room. "We can work sssomething out, I'm sssure."
Angelus nodded and left the money on the bar, turning to the doorway. Eddie took the money and came out from behind the bar, calling for someone else to take his place. He also started for the door to the back room, and Fred followed a step behind. Angelus drew the bead curtain back for Eddie to step through, then started through himself. When Fred made to follow them, Eddie put out a clawed hand to stop her.
He turned to Angelus. "Leave your sssoul here," he growled.
Angelus glanced around the roomful of demons. He nodded at Fred. "Stay here," he told her. "I'll be back in a minute."
Her mouth fell open.
Angelus rolled his eyes and shoved some money in her hand. "Get a drink," he suggested. "If someone starts to kill you, just... you know, scream really loud."
Fred watched Angelus and Eddie disappear into the back, then turned to face the bar again. She felt several pairs of eyes staring at her as she made her way to a stool and sat down.
In the animal kingdom, two popular defense mechanisms have to do with altering the appearance of one's size. Cats, for instance, make themselves look bigger when they feel threatened. They stand sideways and puff their fur out, hoping to intimidate their attacker. On the other hand, some animals try to appear as small and inconspicuous as possible, hoping to be overlooked. Fred decided she belonged to the latter group and tried to shrink into the coat she was wearing.
She huddled on the last stool at the bar and waited for Angelus, wondering what kind of information he was trying to get. After a while, she slipped the money into her pocket. She wasn't thirsty.
"You are so beautiful."
The smooth voice startled her, and she turned quickly to see who had spoken. There was no one there.
"I wonder, though..."
She jumped, turning to the other side, surprised to see a very tall, dark-haired man leaning down close to her face.
"...why are you all alone?" he whispered.
She scooted away from him slowly, as far as she could and still be on the stool. "I - I'm not alone," she said. He was very handsome. Kind of a close talker, though. She couldn't seem to look away from his large brown eyes.
His eyes flicked to the left, then to the right, then back to hers. "I see no one escorting you," he said softly. His voice had a mournful quality to it, almost soulful, which Fred found inconsistent with his very pale skin. Must be a vampire.
"He'll be right back," she said.
"What a shame," he responded, smiling a little. "I was hoping to have you for myself tonight."
Fred didn't know what to say to that. "I'm... sorry...?" she offered. She continued to lean back away from him, struggling not to lose her balance.
"No matter." He waved her apology away, seating himself on the stool next to hers but still managing to remain in her personal space. "We'll make the most of the time we have. My name is Richard. What is yours?"
"I'm... Fred," she told him, glancing down at her hand, which had suddenly been enfolded in his.
"How odd," he said, still smiling. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance, Fred."
"Um, thanks. Richard." She looked at her hand again, which he didn't let go. His skin felt cool against hers. She thought about Angelus touching her when they woke up together, and she felt a rush of heat go through her.
He leaned impossibly closer to her, and when he spoke she could feel the air around her moving. "Tell me something, my dear, do you know how irresistible you smell?" He reached up and put a lock of hair behind her ear, breathing in deeply as he did so. "It's intoxicating. So sad... desperate... like a unicorn in an iron cage welded shut. Your only freedom will be in death. It is so... delicious." He cupped her cheek in his cold hand. "Do you know?"
She shook her head slowly.
"Of course you don't." He smiled gently at her. "That's what makes it so special." He slid his hand beneath the collar of her coat, resting his fingers against her neck. She shivered. "I could free you, you know. I know just what you want, what you need. I can smell it on you so strongly..."
"I'm surprised you can smell anything in here," she said.
Richard paused, then abruptly began to laugh. "So delightful too! Beautiful, delightful, and irresistible. I really must make an offer for you! Who is your escort, may I ask?"
"He's coming right back," she repeated, glancing at the doorway. "His name is Angel. Angelus, I mean."
She felt rather than saw Richard go tense at the name. "Angelus?" he repeated softly. "Of Aurelius?"
She nodded.
He sat back on his stool, carefully removing his hands from Fred. "I know him well," he murmured, looking away. "He will likely keep such a prize for himself." He glanced back at her with an eyebrow raised. "Has he spoken to you of eternal life?"
She thought. He'd only mentioned that it would be convenient, but that was all. "Not - not really, no," she said.
Richard nodded. "If he does, I hope you will accept." He smiled again, touching her cheek. "It's really not half bad."
He stood to leave, then leant over her again and kissed her forehead. "I hope we will meet again, Fred," he whispered in her ear, and she felt a chill race down her back. A second later, he was gone.
Fred looked towards the front door to watch Richard leave, and she was disappointed not to find him there. He'd seemed like a... decent... guy. For a demon. And he was very attractive. He actually kind of reminded her of... well, he'd had a thinner face, but...
When she turned back, she was startled to find Angelus standing beside her. Eddie was coming back around the bar.
"Who were you talking to?" the vampire demanded.
"No one," she said. "Are we leaving now?"
Angelus narrowed his eyes. "Remember how I don't like repeating myself?" he asked.
"It was just a guy. Richard. His name was Richard."
Angelus glanced up at the door and then back at Fred. "Of Tepes?"
She shrugged.
"He wasss in here earlier," Eddie spoke up.
"That dick," Angelus muttered, clenching his fists.
"I think he goesss by Richard," said Eddie.
The vampire growled quietly. He grabbed Fred by the arm and hauled her up off the stool, practically dragging her to the front door. "Thanks, Ed," he called back, kicking the door open. Fred saw the lizard-like demon wave absently as she was yanked outside into the alley.
Angelus didn't let go of her arm as he marched her up the alley towards the main street. In his other hand, he was still carrying his bag of clinking items from the magic shops, and above their noise, Fred could just hear Angelus still growling.
She fought to keep up with his pace so he wouldn't actually be dragging her, but she kept tripping over her feet and the long coat. "Slow down!" she finally gasped, grabbing at his hand on her arm. "I can walk, you know, if you'd let me!"
"Just like you can sit quietly and not talk to anyone?" he snapped, not slowing his pace. "Or do you mean you could walk to him?"
"What are you talking about?" she asked, stumbling along beside him. She was distantly grateful to be away from the horrible smell.
"Richard of Tepes! You let him touch you! I can smell him on you; I smell his cheap cologne!"
They stepped out into the light of the streetlamps along the main road, and immediately Angelus slung her against the side of a building, her back and head hitting the brick wall. She flinched.
He leaned close to her face, their noses almost touching. "Did you want him, Fred? Did you? Tell me!"
"I don't - I don't know what you mean --"
"Did you want him to bite you? Or fuck you?" He dropped his bag, and Fred heard something shatter. He grabbed her shoulders with both hands and shook her, her head hitting the wall again. "Did you want him like you want me?" he demanded.
She shook her head quickly, two tears escaping down her face. "No!" she protested. "I - I couldn't --"
His hands went to the sides of her face, thumbs smearing away the tears. "Tell me I'm the only one you want!"
"You are! You're the only one, Angelus --"
"Angel," he interrupted.
"Angel, I only want you..."
"Say that there's no one else. Ever!"
She sniffled and continued hoarsely, "No one else, Angel, never anyone else..." She was crying freely now, and the tears ran over his hands against her cheeks. He watched, his eyes following the tracks, and she continued to babble, "I want you, I want you Angel, just you..."
He seemed to be calming down. She just repeated herself to him, and finally he took his hands away, smoothed her hair back, pulled the hanky from his pocket and started to wipe her face again. "Shhh, okay Fred," he shushed her quietly. "It's okay, I believe you."
She stopped babbling and swallowed, trying to get her breathing back under control. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, Angel."
He nodded, carefully tucking the hanky back in his pocket. "This won't happen again, will it?" he said.
"Never."
He smiled slightly at her, then kissed her forehead. Suddenly, she saw his eyes flash gold, and he growled low in his throat. Then he bent and kissed her on the lips, hard.
Her head hit the wall again, and she gasped into his mouth, squeezing her eyes shut. He covered her whole body with his, nearly suffocating her as he tried to rid her of the other vampire's scent. Her shoulders ground into the bricks, and she was cold and uncomfortable, but she kissed him back just as hard, not caring that she couldn't breathe. Her lip split, and he sucked it into his mouth. She would have bruises all over later, and it was fitting, she thought, that he would punish her this way, but she couldn't think at the moment why. She couldn't think at the moment at all.
When he finally pulled away from her, she was dizzy and lightheaded and nearly fell, but he caught her arm and steadied her before letting go. "You're so hopeless," he said quietly, turning to pick up his bag.
Fred swallowed. "Are we going back to the hotel?" she asked. She touched her bottom lip. It tingled. The cut would be gone soon.
"We're done for the night," he answered. "The last place I wanted to stop... it turns out the guy I needed to see is dead."
"I'm sorry," she said.
Angelus shrugged. "Not like I'll miss him or anything. Although he was pretty good at darts."
"What happened to him?"
"It was her again," he muttered. "First the Magic Box, then my buddy Rack. You know, that little witch is starting to get on my nerves."
"Witch?" she repeated. "You mean like a real witch?"
He looked at her sideways. "Very similar," he said.
"So, is she the reason we're --"
"You ask too many questions." Angelus began walking in the direction of the hotel, and Fred followed him. "Let's just get back and get some sleep."
*
next part.
Title: Broken, Part Five: Reason
Author: girlpire
Rating: I'm calling it NC17, but so far it's pretty tame.
Pairing: Fred/Angelus
Disclaimer: This story is based on the "Angel" series, with which I am not affiliated in any way. Joss Whedon is my master, etc.
Distribution: Please no. kthnxbye. :)
Summary: Fred deals with the consequences of her decision to release Angelus.
Warnings: Well, it's kind of dark. There's some hitting and other sorts of abuse. I mean, it's Angelus, right?
Author's Notes: This story takes place during season four of "Angel" and season seven of "Buffy." Here are all of the previous parts:
Breakable
Broken, Part One: Sick Little Girl
Broken, Part Two: Just Water
Broken, Part Three: External Tools
Broken, Part Four: The Mind and the Body
banner by frimfram because she is so awesome.
*
They stopped at one more magic shop that night. This one was not as hidden as the others, the big sign out front proclaiming "MAGIC BOX" in large letters. It looked friendly, as far as Fred could tell from the outside -- much less forbidding than the other ones they had visited.
She automatically picked a spot to lean against the wall, assuming that Angelus would want her to wait outside again. She watched him slowly regard the shop in detail before he approached the door. He sniffed, squinting, then broke the doorknob and pushed the door open. He stuck his head inside. Without looking back at her, he said, "You can come in this one." Then he went in.
Fred followed cautiously, surprised that she was being allowed to enter. One glance proved that this place was closed for business, though. It was completely dark inside, so she let the door swing open all the way, a rectangle of light from the streetlamps casting across the floor.
Decimated. That word used to mean to destroy only one tenth of something, or kill one person out of ten. Now the popular meaning is effectively the reverse -- a place has been decimated if it has been mostly destroyed, or at least devastated beyond repair. This meaning probably predominates because of the general lack of need for a word meaning "to kill one person out of ten." Not everyone accepts the popular meaning, though. Some people prefer words like annihilate.
Annihilated, then. The interior wall structure was badly damaged, big gaping holes in every surface, and the ceiling was half caved in. There had been shelves in some places, which were now collapsed. A large round table lay broken in half in the middle of the floor. There were a few items scattered about, all broken. Fred assumed that any surviving merchandise had either been moved or stolen. She could just make out the outline of Angelus crouched in a far corner, moving some broken shelves to peer under them.
Fred picked up half of a candle from the floor. "What do you suppose happened here?" she asked.
A pause, and then, "It was her," he replied, picking through some large pieces of jagged glass. "This entire place reeks of her."
Of course. The whole reason they were here. "Buffy," Fred said quietly.
"Yeah..." Angelus said, standing. "Her too."
Fred looked up sharply, but he was already moving away, going through a hole in the wall that lead to another room. She followed him.
"What do you mean, 'her too'?" she asked.
Angelus was looking around slowly, taking in the scattered blue mats and symbols on the floor and walls. He glanced over his shoulder at Fred. "I mean that I can smell her too." He gestured toward a stuffed dummy which had fallen in the corner. "Looks like she trained here. Not anymore though. Obviously."
"Yes, but... her too? Like there was - is - some other... person?" She shook her head in confusion. "I thought we were here because of --"
"What, you think I came back to Sunnydale for the Slayer?" Angelus interrupted.
"Well, I just thought... I mean, why else would --"
"Not that I won't kill her too, if I have the chance. In fact, I'm sort of hoping for it. But I wouldn't have made the drive just for that." Apparently satisfied that the room held nothing interesting, he turned back to the large hole that probably used to be a doorway, and she followed him through it again.
"Then what are we actually doing here?" she asked.
He was walking around the shelves again, running one hand along the remaining wooden surfaces. "None of your business," he murmured.
She clenched her teeth. She wanted to shake him. She wanted to holler, It is my business! You brought me here! I am a part of this! She wondered what kind of reaction she'd get from an outburst like that. She said nothing.
"How's your face?" he suddenly asked, out of nowhere. He wasn't looking at her.
"My...? Oh. It's fine. It's..." She reached up and ran a fingertip along the place where she'd accidentally cut herself. She thought about his tongue. "I can barely even tell where it was," she said.
They were quiet for a while after that. She watched him wander around the room in the almost-dark, touching everything, the things in his bag clinking softly together as he walked. She buried her hands in the pockets of the oversized jacket she was wearing and tried not to think about anything.
Finally, he turned. "There aren't any here," he said. He headed for the door.
"Any what?" she asked.
He paused. "Anything. There isn't anything here, Fred. And now we're leaving."
She followed him out of the front door with a sigh, pulling it closed behind her. She thought she heard a little bell tinkling as it shut.
*
She didn't have a watch, but Fred guessed it to be about two in the morning. The streets had emptied, and they saw almost no one as they walked along, Angelus two steps ahead of her. The shop doors all displayed large padlocks. She wondered if the owners actually thought they did any good in a place like Sunnydale.
One odd thing she noticed was the excessive amount of alleyways they passed. There seemed to be more alleys than buildings to make them, which, although physically impossible, would probably not be unprecedented on a Hellmouth. The orange light from the streetlamps seemed to stop right at the edge of them, and more than once Fred thought she saw figures standing just inside the darkness, disappearing when she looked at them again. She pulled the coat tighter around her body and walked closer to Angelus. He had one hand in his pocket and didn't seem to notice her.
Angelus paused once to look down an alley and growl. Fred heard loud footsteps rapidly disappearing down that way. Then he started walking again.
She found herself wondering who would win in a fight, Angelus or the Beast. Back in L.A., the Beast had swiftly handed Angel his ass, but Angelus knew something about the Beast that the rest of them didn't know, right? That was why he was here in the first place. Maybe he knew the Beast's weakness. Then again, maybe it was all just an elaborate plan to free Angelus so he and the Beast could watch hockey together. Did rock monsters follow the L.A. Kings?
Of course, that idea led to a mental picture of Angelus and the Beast going ice skating together while holding hands, and that quickly became a picture of them doing ballet, Angelus as the Mouse King, which led to the memory of Giselle and how beautiful Charles looked in a tuxedo.
She tried to stop thinking. She refused to worry about the gang in L.A. They could take care of themselves. And Charles, Wesley, Lorne, Cordy, and Connor all together could definitely stand up against Angelus. Right? Five against one. Well, four, if you didn't count Lorne. But still, Connor was his match for strength and speed, so he could stall while the others... strategically placed themselves... with weapons, and...
Oh, God. She swallowed. They were all dead. How else could Angelus be standing here with her now, leading her around a demon-infested hell hole while the sun over Los Angeles boiled black? Her friends were dead, and it was all her fault. She started to cry. Angelus kept walking, and she forced herself to follow him, trying not to sob out loud.
She could hear their voices. Charles, hurt and confused, Baby, why? Wesley, shaking his head slowly, his voice resigned, Oh, Fred. You've no idea what you're getting into. She covered her ears. Tears slid down her face and left cold tracks. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to think.
In Pylea, there is a word that means despair. She tried to remember it now. Kurrtzu? Kurritzu? Kurratzu? The literal meaning is "to be buried so deeply in sorrow that one's only option is to distract oneself with physical pain." She had a sudden memory of her cousin Bryce yanking a lock of her hair so hard she screamed. They were at Grandpa Burk's farm, and the old man had made Bryce pick out his own switch to be punished with. As she walked, Fred slid one hand back into her hair and grabbed a fistful of it. She'd been tender-headed for a couple of days after. Like a bruise. She took a deep breath and --
"We're here."
-- bumped into Angelus.
She dropped her hands to her sides and took a quick step back, glancing up at his face through tear-clouded eyes. She blinked, renewing the wet tracks down her cheeks.
He frowned at her. "What the hell are you crying about?" he asked.
She opened her mouth to speak, then just shook her head.
"Well, doesn't matter, you can't go in like that." He irritably pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and refolded it, covering the spots of blood from her cheek earlier, then began to wipe her face dry. When he was done, he stuffed the hanky back in his pocket. He took her chin in one hand and slowly turned her face from side to side, studying her. Then, he sighed.
"You just insist on being ugly, don't you?" he said. "I'd leave you out here to wait, but you smell so desperate you've been attracting demons for the last few blocks. I just wish we'd taken a little more time with your appearance before I had to be seen with you." He sighed again. "Well, what can you do? Come on."
She sniffed hard and wiped her nose before following Angelus into one of the dark alleys. She did probably look horrible, but she didn't care. It served the monster right, after killing her friends, to have to be seen with a wreck. She smoothed her hair. Why hadn't she brought the makeup with her?
They were down by the docks, and Fred could hear the ocean not too far away. The heavy smell of saltwater and old fish made her grimace. She could also smell something rotten and decaying nearby, and she began to breathe with her mouth instead of her nose. She could hardly see anything in the dark, but followed the vague outline of the vampire in front of her. They soon stopped in front of a door she would have missed entirely if he'd not been with her. Above the door, a barely legible sign read "FISHTANK."
Angelus reached for the door, then hesitated and turned to Fred. "There will probably be a lot of demons in here," he told her gruffly, "so stay close to me."
She nodded, and he looked at her carefully, then sighed and turned back to the door. "Not too close, though," he added. "I still have my pride." He pulled open the door and stepped inside, letting it swing after him. She caught the door before it closed and followed him in.
So this was where the horrible smell was coming from. Fred fought the urge to gag, wondering how Angelus could stand being somewhere this stinky with his sensitive nose. As she looked around the bar, she imagined she could actually see the stench rising from some of the more gelatinous patrons. This was what her life was now. Going to stinky bars in the middle of the night with a vampire to visit Jabba the Hut. Her eyes started to water again. Mostly it was from the smell.
Angelus stalked slowly up to the bar, no less menacing for his lack of billowy coat. She followed him, eyes down. She looked up again when the bartender spoke.
"No sssouls allowed," he hissed, flicking his forked tongue in Fred's direction. "Houssse rulesss."
"She's with me," Angelus responded, his voice cold. "I believe I'm soulless enough for the both of us. Or would you like me to prove it?"
The bartender quickly turned his head to regard the vampire with one lidless eye. "Angelusss?" he asked. "To what do I owe thisss pleasure? I had heard Willy's Place was more your ssstyle."
"Willy's a snitch. Snitches bother me, Eddie. You can't trust them. And I know for a fact that that one's working for the Slayer." At the word "slayer," Fred noticed the level of conversation noise drop significantly. She felt eyes on her back.
"I need real information," Angelus continued. He casually set his hand down on the bar. There were three one-hundred dollar bills underneath it. "Used to be able to get that here. I'd hate to find out I was wrong."
Eddie glanced down at the money, then jerked his head toward a doorway that led to a back room. "We can work sssomething out, I'm sssure."
Angelus nodded and left the money on the bar, turning to the doorway. Eddie took the money and came out from behind the bar, calling for someone else to take his place. He also started for the door to the back room, and Fred followed a step behind. Angelus drew the bead curtain back for Eddie to step through, then started through himself. When Fred made to follow them, Eddie put out a clawed hand to stop her.
He turned to Angelus. "Leave your sssoul here," he growled.
Angelus glanced around the roomful of demons. He nodded at Fred. "Stay here," he told her. "I'll be back in a minute."
Her mouth fell open.
Angelus rolled his eyes and shoved some money in her hand. "Get a drink," he suggested. "If someone starts to kill you, just... you know, scream really loud."
Fred watched Angelus and Eddie disappear into the back, then turned to face the bar again. She felt several pairs of eyes staring at her as she made her way to a stool and sat down.
In the animal kingdom, two popular defense mechanisms have to do with altering the appearance of one's size. Cats, for instance, make themselves look bigger when they feel threatened. They stand sideways and puff their fur out, hoping to intimidate their attacker. On the other hand, some animals try to appear as small and inconspicuous as possible, hoping to be overlooked. Fred decided she belonged to the latter group and tried to shrink into the coat she was wearing.
She huddled on the last stool at the bar and waited for Angelus, wondering what kind of information he was trying to get. After a while, she slipped the money into her pocket. She wasn't thirsty.
"You are so beautiful."
The smooth voice startled her, and she turned quickly to see who had spoken. There was no one there.
"I wonder, though..."
She jumped, turning to the other side, surprised to see a very tall, dark-haired man leaning down close to her face.
"...why are you all alone?" he whispered.
She scooted away from him slowly, as far as she could and still be on the stool. "I - I'm not alone," she said. He was very handsome. Kind of a close talker, though. She couldn't seem to look away from his large brown eyes.
His eyes flicked to the left, then to the right, then back to hers. "I see no one escorting you," he said softly. His voice had a mournful quality to it, almost soulful, which Fred found inconsistent with his very pale skin. Must be a vampire.
"He'll be right back," she said.
"What a shame," he responded, smiling a little. "I was hoping to have you for myself tonight."
Fred didn't know what to say to that. "I'm... sorry...?" she offered. She continued to lean back away from him, struggling not to lose her balance.
"No matter." He waved her apology away, seating himself on the stool next to hers but still managing to remain in her personal space. "We'll make the most of the time we have. My name is Richard. What is yours?"
"I'm... Fred," she told him, glancing down at her hand, which had suddenly been enfolded in his.
"How odd," he said, still smiling. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance, Fred."
"Um, thanks. Richard." She looked at her hand again, which he didn't let go. His skin felt cool against hers. She thought about Angelus touching her when they woke up together, and she felt a rush of heat go through her.
He leaned impossibly closer to her, and when he spoke she could feel the air around her moving. "Tell me something, my dear, do you know how irresistible you smell?" He reached up and put a lock of hair behind her ear, breathing in deeply as he did so. "It's intoxicating. So sad... desperate... like a unicorn in an iron cage welded shut. Your only freedom will be in death. It is so... delicious." He cupped her cheek in his cold hand. "Do you know?"
She shook her head slowly.
"Of course you don't." He smiled gently at her. "That's what makes it so special." He slid his hand beneath the collar of her coat, resting his fingers against her neck. She shivered. "I could free you, you know. I know just what you want, what you need. I can smell it on you so strongly..."
"I'm surprised you can smell anything in here," she said.
Richard paused, then abruptly began to laugh. "So delightful too! Beautiful, delightful, and irresistible. I really must make an offer for you! Who is your escort, may I ask?"
"He's coming right back," she repeated, glancing at the doorway. "His name is Angel. Angelus, I mean."
She felt rather than saw Richard go tense at the name. "Angelus?" he repeated softly. "Of Aurelius?"
She nodded.
He sat back on his stool, carefully removing his hands from Fred. "I know him well," he murmured, looking away. "He will likely keep such a prize for himself." He glanced back at her with an eyebrow raised. "Has he spoken to you of eternal life?"
She thought. He'd only mentioned that it would be convenient, but that was all. "Not - not really, no," she said.
Richard nodded. "If he does, I hope you will accept." He smiled again, touching her cheek. "It's really not half bad."
He stood to leave, then leant over her again and kissed her forehead. "I hope we will meet again, Fred," he whispered in her ear, and she felt a chill race down her back. A second later, he was gone.
Fred looked towards the front door to watch Richard leave, and she was disappointed not to find him there. He'd seemed like a... decent... guy. For a demon. And he was very attractive. He actually kind of reminded her of... well, he'd had a thinner face, but...
When she turned back, she was startled to find Angelus standing beside her. Eddie was coming back around the bar.
"Who were you talking to?" the vampire demanded.
"No one," she said. "Are we leaving now?"
Angelus narrowed his eyes. "Remember how I don't like repeating myself?" he asked.
"It was just a guy. Richard. His name was Richard."
Angelus glanced up at the door and then back at Fred. "Of Tepes?"
She shrugged.
"He wasss in here earlier," Eddie spoke up.
"That dick," Angelus muttered, clenching his fists.
"I think he goesss by Richard," said Eddie.
The vampire growled quietly. He grabbed Fred by the arm and hauled her up off the stool, practically dragging her to the front door. "Thanks, Ed," he called back, kicking the door open. Fred saw the lizard-like demon wave absently as she was yanked outside into the alley.
Angelus didn't let go of her arm as he marched her up the alley towards the main street. In his other hand, he was still carrying his bag of clinking items from the magic shops, and above their noise, Fred could just hear Angelus still growling.
She fought to keep up with his pace so he wouldn't actually be dragging her, but she kept tripping over her feet and the long coat. "Slow down!" she finally gasped, grabbing at his hand on her arm. "I can walk, you know, if you'd let me!"
"Just like you can sit quietly and not talk to anyone?" he snapped, not slowing his pace. "Or do you mean you could walk to him?"
"What are you talking about?" she asked, stumbling along beside him. She was distantly grateful to be away from the horrible smell.
"Richard of Tepes! You let him touch you! I can smell him on you; I smell his cheap cologne!"
They stepped out into the light of the streetlamps along the main road, and immediately Angelus slung her against the side of a building, her back and head hitting the brick wall. She flinched.
He leaned close to her face, their noses almost touching. "Did you want him, Fred? Did you? Tell me!"
"I don't - I don't know what you mean --"
"Did you want him to bite you? Or fuck you?" He dropped his bag, and Fred heard something shatter. He grabbed her shoulders with both hands and shook her, her head hitting the wall again. "Did you want him like you want me?" he demanded.
She shook her head quickly, two tears escaping down her face. "No!" she protested. "I - I couldn't --"
His hands went to the sides of her face, thumbs smearing away the tears. "Tell me I'm the only one you want!"
"You are! You're the only one, Angelus --"
"Angel," he interrupted.
"Angel, I only want you..."
"Say that there's no one else. Ever!"
She sniffled and continued hoarsely, "No one else, Angel, never anyone else..." She was crying freely now, and the tears ran over his hands against her cheeks. He watched, his eyes following the tracks, and she continued to babble, "I want you, I want you Angel, just you..."
He seemed to be calming down. She just repeated herself to him, and finally he took his hands away, smoothed her hair back, pulled the hanky from his pocket and started to wipe her face again. "Shhh, okay Fred," he shushed her quietly. "It's okay, I believe you."
She stopped babbling and swallowed, trying to get her breathing back under control. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, Angel."
He nodded, carefully tucking the hanky back in his pocket. "This won't happen again, will it?" he said.
"Never."
He smiled slightly at her, then kissed her forehead. Suddenly, she saw his eyes flash gold, and he growled low in his throat. Then he bent and kissed her on the lips, hard.
Her head hit the wall again, and she gasped into his mouth, squeezing her eyes shut. He covered her whole body with his, nearly suffocating her as he tried to rid her of the other vampire's scent. Her shoulders ground into the bricks, and she was cold and uncomfortable, but she kissed him back just as hard, not caring that she couldn't breathe. Her lip split, and he sucked it into his mouth. She would have bruises all over later, and it was fitting, she thought, that he would punish her this way, but she couldn't think at the moment why. She couldn't think at the moment at all.
When he finally pulled away from her, she was dizzy and lightheaded and nearly fell, but he caught her arm and steadied her before letting go. "You're so hopeless," he said quietly, turning to pick up his bag.
Fred swallowed. "Are we going back to the hotel?" she asked. She touched her bottom lip. It tingled. The cut would be gone soon.
"We're done for the night," he answered. "The last place I wanted to stop... it turns out the guy I needed to see is dead."
"I'm sorry," she said.
Angelus shrugged. "Not like I'll miss him or anything. Although he was pretty good at darts."
"What happened to him?"
"It was her again," he muttered. "First the Magic Box, then my buddy Rack. You know, that little witch is starting to get on my nerves."
"Witch?" she repeated. "You mean like a real witch?"
He looked at her sideways. "Very similar," he said.
"So, is she the reason we're --"
"You ask too many questions." Angelus began walking in the direction of the hotel, and Fred followed him. "Let's just get back and get some sleep."
*
next part.