132
by potterpuffs
He could still hear her voice inside his head, telling him it was going to be alright. Admittedly his memories of that one year were a bit fuzzy-- too much trauma on his nerves, after all-- but the one thing that he could recall perfectly were her words of support, always there to make him feel better. His mind still went back to them whenever he was feeling pain or going through something that was really hard for him. Sometimes he swore he could feel her soft 7-year-old hands on his shoulders, still.
So many years had passed, yet he still felt her close to him-- wished she were close to him. But she was so far away. He was just one step away from declaring her, and his whole world, completely out of reach.
He had his brother with him, and he was back in his own body like it was their goal, and he shouldn't really be complaining at all. But he couldn't help it; he tried to tell himself that his brother was the only important thing but it wasn't. This was not his world, he couldn't ever get it to be-- and it was painful for him to be away from all those he loved. And when he felt pain he thought of her and it became a vicious cycle of missing her and feeling miserable about it, it just never ended.
But there was nothing he could do but miss her right now. He was stuck there, they were stuck there-- away from her, away from their world. He had to, once and for all, deal with the fact that the closest he'd ever be to her would be the faint whisper of her "You'll get through this" in his subconscious and the skipped beat of his heart whenever his now out-of-date mechanical arm bothered him.
He could never touch her again, have her yell at him or cry for him-- God he was messed up, he even missed that damned wrench hitting his skull-- but at the very least he would always hear her voice, have her support and of course, her love, wrapping around him in his hardest times. And he would have that to his last breath.
--Edward Elric thinks about Winry; post-movie, 03-13-06.
don't ask. four paragraphs of me saying the same thing over and over again. written in five minutes. guess i needed to get some angst out of my system or something.
still alive! just busy as hell. thanks for the birthday wishes, guys! you know who you are! ^^