[AU] We're All Dreamers - Infinite - MyungYeol Pt. 1

[girlxvsxworld]

Title: We’re All Dreamers
Author: Girlxvsxworld (isaidhullo)
Fandom: Infinite
Pairing: MyungYeol
Wordcount: 10731
Genre: Fluff / Romance / Angst? I don't really know ^^;;
Rating: PG-13ish
Summary: SungYeol was bored. MyungSoo was angry. They had both given up. [Dreamland AU]



∞Part 1∞

SungYeol was just a bored, sad teenager. He didn’t have a bad life, but he was uninterested in it. His friends, as much as he loved them, didn’t satisfy his need for adventure. He had a girlfriend, but he broke up with her. Not because he didn’t like her, it was just that she didn’t hold his interest any longer. Every day, SungYeol got up, walked to school, suffered interminably, and walked home to surf the web. He would listen to music and sing loudly, half to annoy his parents and brother and half to distract himself from his monotonous everyday life. The unrhythmic pounding of his daily routine steeped him into a kind of unresponsive depression.

The days passed, turned to weeks and faded from his memory. He still smiled, laughed and hung out with his friends, but when they were gone, he felt like an empty shell. He wanted something to take him away, far away, where he could dance and sing and scream without feeling so void. Maybe love, he thought, could revive him from his this stupor. He watched the girls around school, around town and on TV, and although so many of them were pretty, gorgeous even, none held his interest.

SungYeol wondered what was wrong with him. He was a teenage boy. He was supposed to love girls, right? He thought of another option. Maybe he liked guys? He doubted that was the case; it wasn’t as if he had shown interest in guys before. It was a weird concept for him; he didn’t really know any gay people and he had certainly never thought about it for himself. But he was at a loss, so he scanned the guys he saw, tried to sense any attraction to them. As much as he searched himself, he really couldn’t feel anything, at least nothing more than what he felt looking at pretty girls. SungYeol felt relieved, he didn’t know how he would have dealt with that. He didn’t even think there were any gay guys in his community, so it wouldn’t have changed anything. It would be complicated trying to explain everything to his family, his friends…

But maybe complicated would be good for him? So far being “straight” wasn’t very interesting; but then again, nothing really was.

.

SungYeol didn’t give the whole “gay” thing another thought over the next few days; he let that train of thought go. He was still bored and had fallen back into his daily routine, but late Wednesday night, while he was browsing around on random websites, he saw an ad that caught his attention.

“Bored? Lonely? Sad? Just want to get away? Click here and find the answer to all your problems!” Screamed a bright pink-and-black display across the top of the screen.

SungYeol moved his mouse over the ad. He thought a moment about the consequences and decided nothing bad could really happen. It was just a website, right? The worst that could happen was that his computer could get a virus.

He pressed his finger down on the mouse and clicked.

The result was entirely unimpressive. What popped up was a bold black-and-pink affair with the words “Get Away to Your Secret Dreamland” sprawled across in a flowery typeface. SungYeol sighed. He knew he shouldn’t have expected much, but even so, he felt his heart drop into his stomach sickeningly.

He was so frustrated with himself and life and really everything in general that his face heated up and hot tears boiled deep down inside him.

He started bawling and shaking as his emotions tore him apart. It was an irrational kind of crying; the kind where you just can’t figure out why you’re alive and why you’re worth anyone else’s time, but then you wake up from those tears and realize you’re essential to so many people’s lives. So, at that moment, SungYeol’s heart was breaking. He didn’t feel like there was anything worth living for; how could his life get better? It was so mundane. He kept on weeping, telling himself he deserved it.

After awhile, the tears faded and ran out. He just sat there shivering.

“Hey, are you all right?” sounded a voice from behind him. SungYeol started, worried that his brother or dad had found him in this distraught state. He looked up and gasped. He couldn’t recognize where he was at all.

“What the fuck? Where the…” he hesitated as he took in his surroundings, “Hell am I?”

The area around him was light and hilly. The sun was warm, falling and twirling around him. A soft breeze played with his dark hair. SungYeol squinted his eyes to look into the distance where the sun seemed to be setting.

SungYeol spoke again, but this time the words were softer and more at peace. “Where in the world…”

“A dream.” The voice from earlier spoke again, and the speaker moved into his line of sight. “But where did you come from? I’ve never seen you before.”

SungYeol gaped at this apparition. The speaker was a boy, about his own age, who had dark, glossy, black hair that commanded a kind of purple aura. He had slightly tanned skin and warm-looking, pink lips that were curved into a kind smile. His eyes were comforting, black and crinkled up in shining crescents. SungYeol saw kindness reflected there. Looking at the other boy, he sunk into a stupor. His brain was tired from his fierce tears and he somehow felt safe with this smiling stranger watching him.

“Excuse me? Did you hear me?” SungYeol starts and flicks his eyes back to this new acquaintance.

“What?” He responds.

“I asked you how you got here. In this dream. I thought this dream solely belonged to me, but maybe not.”

“What.” SungYeol repeats, raising an eyebrow. “I’m asleep?”

“Not exactly? I don’t know. It’s been awhile since I’ve been fully awake.” The other boy responds.

SungYeol furrowed his eyebrows and scrunched up his eyes. ‘What kind of dream is this?’ He thought, ‘Why is this guy so pretty?’ He looked back up to where the mysteriously lovely stranger was looking at him, his head cocked to one side. For the first time in a long time, SungYeol felt curious. It felt good to feel curious; he hadn’t felt even mildly interested in anything (aside from music) in months.  SungYeol wanted to bombard this boy with questions, but at the same time, he didn’t want to scare him away.

The pretty stranger seemed spaced out; his head was still tilted to the side. He was staring straight at SungYeol, focusing in on his face, his eyes specifically.

“Hey… Are you alright?” SungYeol called out to the other boy, who was still standing a few yards away.

He jerked his head up with a surprised look on his face. “I-I’m sorry. I spaced out there… It kinda happens to me a lot.” He smiled sheepishly and then looked around them. “It’s starting to get dark. Do you want to see where I’ve been staying, or fend for yourself for the night?” He asked with a smile.

“I guess I’ll follow you.” SungYeol said, walking towards the pretty man whose eyes and hair shone in the orange glow of the setting sun.

The two walked awhile in silence, walking down the side of a sloping hill to where it met the next hill. Long glimmering shadows were outlined by the sun’s light. “So, what’s your name? I’m MyungSoo.”

“Oh, I’m SungYeol. Nice to meet you.”

“Um, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, but why were you crying just now?” MyungSoo inquired.

“Ah…” SungYeol said, opening his mouth and looking to the side. “It’s a long story?”

MyungSoo smiled a little. “You don’t like answering my questions, do you? If it’s such a long story, I’ve got time.”

SungYeol looked down. “I guess I was… bored…”

“That wasn’t very long. Why were you bored?” MyungSoo looked at him seriously, concern outlining his features.

“It’s just… My life’s boring. My town is boring… My friends and family… I love them, but… they’re boring. Nothing’s entertaining. Nothing’s worth living for. Everything’s so boring, and I don’t know how to escape it.” SungYeol felt himself getting misty-eyed and choked up. He coughed to try to get rid of it, then started when he felt a warm hand press against his back comfortingly.

“Are you bored right now?”

SungYeol looked at MyungSoo, whose dark eyes were filled with worry and sympathy. “No… I guess not?” ‘This feels real. Can it really be a dream? I don’t want to wake up…’

“That’s good.” MyungSoo’s handsome mouth stretched into a calm smile. SungYeol felt himself dumbly staring at that mouth. “Um. We’re here!” MyungSoo’s voice jerked him out of his reverie.

Before them, just under the cover of trees, was a small cottage. The windows shone with a warm light, and it emanated a wonderful smell.

“I don’t know how this got here, but when I first arrived, I found it, empty, so now it’s mine.” MyungSoo explained, “When I come back each night, there’s already food and the lights are on. I’d think it was kind of creepy were this not a dream. But I think it’s kind of nice.” He led SungYeol up to the cottage and let them in.

The inside was just as comforting as the outside looked. It was all one room, with an oven, a sink and a pantry on one side and a cozy double bed and wardrobe on the other side. In the middle sat a small round table with two meals set out on it.

“The bed wasn’t that big before… I guess someone knew you were coming. Are you hungry?”

SungYeol nodded, still trying to figure everything out in his head. He sat down at the table, MyungSoo following suit. SungYeol looked down at the bowl of soup in front of him warily.

“Don’t worry, it’s really good.” MyungSoo said, dipping his spoon into the hot dish and blowing on it softly.

SungYeol did the same and tasted the soup. He was surprised at the flavor.  It was wonderful, it felt like a warm hug, and he quickly ate the whole thing. He sat back in his chair and sighed. “I’m so confused. But it’s okay, because that was delicious.” He looked over to MyungSoo, who was also finished.

“Tired?” He asked.

SungYeol yawned. “A little.”

MyungSoo gestured to the bed. “Go ahead and sleep.”

“Where will you sleep?”

“I guess I’ll join you later. Unless you’re uncomfortable with that, in which case I can just steal some blankets and use the floor. I’m going to go outside for a little bit, though.”

“Oh… okay.” SungYeol responded awkwardly.

MyungSoo got up and walked over to the wardrobe. He first pulled out some pajama pants, a t-shirt, and then a guitar. “I’ll come back inside in a bit.” He said, tossing the clothes to SungYeol and then leaving the one-room building.

SungYeol was a little saddened that MyungSoo had left, but he changed his clothes, turned off the lights and climbed into the soft bed. He was feeling down, worrying that this interesting person he had just found had left him and his life would be boring once more until he heard the strains of a guitar from outside. ‘He can play? It’s so pretty…’ SungYeol thought. A voice entwined with the guitar, and with that, SungYeol drifted off.

.

He awoke the next morning in his own bed. He sat up angrily and looked accusingly at the rising sun. ‘How dare you wake me!’ He mused. His mother came into the room, telling him to get up and get ready to go to school, but he convinced her that he was sick and unable to rise. He actually did feel sick, though. He didn’t want to lose his mysterious new friend, SungYeol thought as he drifted back to sleep.

When he woke the second time, he was still in his same boring old room. He tossed himself out of his bed and accidentally tangled himself in sheets. He couldn’t believe he had woken to this dreary world once more. He wasn’t done exploring his new dream. And he screamed. Out of pure annoyance, he screamed and screamed and screamed. He vocal chords protested at him to quit this nonsense, but he didn’t care. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out the loudest noises he could.

Suddenly, he felt arms around him. “Hey, shh… It’s all right. You don’t need to hurt yourself.” SungYeol’s eyes shot open.

“Myung…Soo? Wait, I’m back!...? What’s going on?” SungYeol’s expression moved from excitement to confusion to a completely defeated look. “I don’t understand what’s happening to me…”

MyungSoo bit his lip, looking down at the distressed boy next to him. “I don’t know, SungYeol. I mean, I just… This place is my sanctuary. I don’t know where, or what, it is. But I’m glad you’re here.” He blushed and looked away. “I mean, it’s good to have human company, as much as I like being alone.”

“Yeah… I like being here, too. But I was just back in my room, in my house. My mom was there. So is this really a dream? Has that happened to you?”

“Yeah, but it’s been happening less and less. I-I really don’t want to go back to my real home. I don’t even know if it’s there anymore.”

SungYeol blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you came here because you were bored, right?” SungYeol shrugged in vague agreement. “Well, I also came here to escape. My parents are getting divorced. They’re selling the apartment, and now my mom, my brother and I are moving to some town I’ve never heard of because apparently, that’s the only place where she could find a job.” MyungSoo was wringing his hands and blinking back tears. “I’m annoyed. I don’t want to be there anymore.” He said with a resigned sigh.

“You sound a little more than annoyed…” SungYeol ventured. MyunSoo shot him a look and then sighed once more.

“Yeah…”

It scared SungYeol to see MyungSoo looking so defeated. He had appeared strong and careless. SungYeol knew he hadn’t even known him for a day, but he was still worried. “Want to talk? I mean, not necessarily about that, but if you want to talk…”

MyungSoo smiled. “Thanks. Want to go for a walk? It’s nice out. We can talk out there.”

“Sure.” SungYeol answered, crawling out of the warm double bed.

.

The sun was warm and the breeze was lightly ruffling the two boys’ hair. SungYeol admired the slightly windswept look on his new friend, while MyungSoo stole secret glances at SungYeol’s mussed hair, still tangled from sleep.

“So SungYeol,” MyungSoo said with a smile, “You’re in high school, right? What grade?”

“I’m a junior. I’m 17. What about you?”

“Me too. But I’m 16. What do you want to do after high school? College?”

“Yeah… I’d like to go into music or acting or something… but I’m not really confident in my skills…”

“Aww, I’m sure you’re awesome. But that’s great! We should sing together sometime… I like acting too; it’s a lot of fun. I kind of want to be a photographer, though.”

“Yeah. I mean I don’t really have experience in either of those things, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do.”

“You should. You’d be good at it.”

SungYeol cracked a smile. “How do you know if I’d be good at it, you’ve only known me for a day!” His voice rose and ended with a slight chuckle.

MyungSoo smirked. “I just have this feeling like you’d really work hard at it and then be completely awesome.”

SungYeol smiled embarrassedly. “Well, thanks.” He tried to think of another topic to talk about. “So do you have a girlfriend or anything?”

MyungSoo’s smile dropped slightly, but he repaired it before SungYeol could notice anything was amiss. “Nah, no girls have really sparked my fancy. I’ve never had a girlfriend. Do you have one?” He asked nervously.

“Nah. I used to, but I just wasn’t into her. I haven’t been interested in much lately, not even girls. It’s been weird. The only thing I do is listen to music.”

MyungSoo let out a sigh of relief. “I know exactly what you mean, music is the thing that keeps me going.”

SungYeol slide a sideways glance at MyungSoo with a relaxed grin. “Glad to know you feel the same about that.”

The sun was high in the sky as the boys were walking together, but it wasn’t hot. A pleasant mixture of warmth and coolness swirled around them as they hiked up a hill to see the area that surrounded them and their small cabin.

“Wow…” gasped SungYeol, “I never thought it would be this beautiful. It’s insane, not seeing any buildings at all.”

MyungSoo agreed, but didn’t speak for a bit, just stood there with his arms out slightly and a peaceful smile gracing his face. SungYeol turned to look at him, confused as to why he wasn’t responding, and his breath hitched in his throat. His face turned red and he thought ‘But he’s more beautiful than anything. When he smiles like that, he outshines even the sun.’

SungYeol realized the cheesy words he had just thought and his cheeks became even redder. He crouched down to hide his face from the angelic boy beside him and he pressed his fingers against his cheeks to cool them down.

“Why are you on the ground?” SungYeol jumped a bit and tried to calm down his raging blush. He stood.

“N-no reason. I’m fine.”

MyungSoo grinned at him. ‘He’s so cute…’ Then he wiped that thought away along with his doting smile. ‘I can’t think that. He’s straight. Or whatever. God, MyungSoo, you are so stupid.’ He felt his heart sinking and his eyes became downcast.

SungYeol was startled by the sudden, seemingly random change in the younger boy’s disposition. “Hey, MyungSoo, you alright? Do you feel sick or something?” He asked worriedly.

MyungSoo looked up with a faked smile plastered to his face. “No, I’m fine.”

SungYeol’s eyebrows drew together and he gave MyungSoo a look that said, ‘I know you’re lying, you don’t need to pretend.’ “Come on, let’s go back, maybe you can teach me some guitar.” SungYeol said with a slight frown, grumpy that MyungSoo felt like he had to hide something from him.

.

They walked back in silence. SungYeol was silently fuming to himself. ‘What is wrong that he feels like he needs to hide?! I’m trustworthy, nice. He’s listened to me whine, he should let me return the favor!

At the same time, MyungSoo was biting his lip and berating himself for letting his emotions show. He couldn’t reveal his secret. If he lived somewhere else, maybe he would be accepted, but not in his society, not right now. People wouldn’t know how to deal with him. He’d be alone. His friends would leave him. Just like what happened back home. He was secretly glad he was leaving. As much as he didn’t want to go, he didn’t see how he could stay.

They were already back in the cabin and SungYeol flipped on the lights. He turned his cranky face to look at the other boy for the first time since they had left the hill, but his childish anger quickly dissipated when he saw the other’s face.

MyungSoo’s face was stained with silent tears. He was sobbing, looking down at his feet. His nose and ears were red and his eyes were scrunched up, black and shiny because of the tears.

“MyungSoo…” The older boy cooed.

MyungSoo lifted his head to look at SungYeol and tried to say something, but only a croak came out. He only then realized he was crying. He tried to hide his face, but SungYeol strode over to where he was standing and led him to the messy bed. He softly pushed the younger boys shoulders to get him to sit and then sat next to him.

SungYeol would be the first to admit that he was awkward around people, especially sad, crying people. He severely lacked any motherly instinct that would help him in such situations. But when he saw the crying angel next to him, he knew what to do. He wrapped his arms tightly around the boy and stroked his hair softly. He told the beautiful boy that it would be alright; he would always be next to him, that he shouldn’t cry. MyungSoo’s arms clutched SungYeol’s waist as he sobbed.

The shaking subsided slightly after awhile. SungYeol softly whispered to MyungSoo, but the younger boy was asleep. SungYeol smiled and allowed himself to drop into slumber as well.

.

SungYeol once again awoke in his own room. He looked around resignedly and sighed. This time, he didn’t scream, or cry. He just hoped that he would wake up later in that world with that boy and that he would stay there. His mother knocked on the door and then opened it.

“SungYeol, honey, are you okay today? I don’t want you to miss another day of school.”

“Aww, come on, it’s a Friday, mom!”

She put her hand on her hip and looked at him dryly. “If you’re well enough to argue with me, you’re well enough to go to school. Come on, sweetie, get up.”

SungYeol huffed. “Ohhkaay.” His mom left the room and he slid out of his bed. He almost fell over again immediately; after lying down for so long, his legs weren’t used to supporting him and his head wasn’t used to being upright. He steadied himself and hobbled down the hallway to take a shower.

He left the house with his backpack and a little brown bag containing his lunch and he walked the short distance to his high school. When he arrived, his friends came up to him and greeted him with calls of “Man, where were you yesterday? I was worried, you didn’t say anything” and “I hope you’re better, wanna go out after school? There’s a new movie out.” SungYeol smiled at them and nodded and answered their small questions. Right now, this life, his “real” life, felt like a dream, so he just went along with it. He floated through his classes, barely paying attention. During lunch, he listened to his friends talk about whatever. He felt at home, but he still missed the transfixing boy from his dream.

“So did you get the new Call of Duty?”

“Nah, not yet, my parents think I spend too much time with video games anyway so they won’t give me any money. It’s lame.”

“Aw, man. That sucks. It’s awesome. Tomorrow you should come over and play it. I’ll beat you.”

“Whatever man. I can still whip your ass at Pikmin.”

His friends burst into laughter at the comment, but SungYeol was still lost in thought.

Another friend joined the conversation.

“None of you have beat me at Halo yet. It’s getting kind of boring, I need someone new to play.”

“Halo’s boring. But I heard there’s a new kid coming to school soon. Maybe he’ll stomp you into the ground.”

“I’d love that.” Said the first boy sarcastically. “SungYeol, what’s up with you? You haven’t said anything all day.” He turned to the tall teenager.

SungYeol started out of his thoughts. “Nothing much. I’ve been having these weird dreams lately, though.” He said, then quickly shut his mouth, wondering if speaking about the dreamland would somehow jinx him into not being able to return.

“What are they about?” One guy asked him.

“I dunno, but they’re really nice, I really like them.” He said absentmindedly.

“Cool man, at least they’re not scary, that would suck.”

“Yeah.” SungYeol agreed, glad they weren’t pressing the issue.

After school he went with them to the movies, though he didn’t remember what they saw. He waved goodbye to them and walked home. It was dark enough that he could barely see the road. His street was one of the few without streetlights, which SungYeol thought made it seem slightly hazardous. He closed his eyes and felt his way to the door. The house was already dark. His good, studious brother was already in bed repeating multiplication tables to himself, and his mother was fast asleep after watching her late-night drama.

SungYeol stumbled into his bedroom; impatient to get to sleep and see the person he was missing so much.

.

MyungSoo woke up after falling asleep clinging to SungYeol. He immediately noticed the lack of warmth next to him in bed and squeezed his eyes shut thinking that would make everything go away. He hands clenched the blanket and he wanted to cry again, but his tear ducts had run dry. He didn’t want to lose SungYeol, that boy was like a walking ray of sunshine. And he had told him it would be alright. He was so perfect-

“MyungSoo, are you awake?” A voice called out to him. It wasn’t the voice he wanted to hear. Hands shook him. “MyungSoo, MoonSoo is already awake and packing stuff in the van. Get up, we have to leave by 12.”

MyungSoo shut his eyes tighter. ‘I’m sorry, mom. I’m sorry I’m not a perfect son, like your baby MoonSoo. I’m sorry I’m whiney and mopey and gay. I’m fucking sorry.’

“MyungSoo! Get up and put your stuff in the van, we don’t have all day!”

MyungSoo opened his eyes and saw his frazzled mother standing in front of him. “I understand mom, I’ll get ready.”

His mother saw his red eyes and defeated look and her eyes softened. “Thank you, honey.”

He lifted himself up and immediately felt sick. He laughed at his stupidity. Of course he would feel sick after not moving and not eating for so long. He put both hands on his desk and leaned over it, waiting for the dizzy pain to go away. He felt color draining from his face and his empty stomach felt drowned in acid. He swore he was going to throw up, but he kept it down and raced to the kitchen to find something to stabilize his stomach with. He flung open the refrigerator and to his disappointment, he realized it was empty.

‘Of course. We’re moving. Why would we have food in the fridge?’

He did his best to clean up all of the remaining things in his already painfully empty room. His CDs were already packed away and waiting to be loaded, but he kept his baby, his camera, with him so it wouldn’t be harmed.

He only had four boxes: his clothes, his school stuff, his CDs and other musical accoutrements, and a box full of everything else. He took two boxes with him to the elevator and clicked the button for the first floor. When the doors slid open, his younger brother, MoonSoo, was standing there. When he saw MyungSoo standing in the elevator, clad only in his pajamas and sneakers, his face lit up.

“Hyung! You’re finally awake! I’ve been worried! I was just about to come up to get you. Do you need help with one of these?”

“…Sure.” MyungSoo responded, his heart weighed heavily upon seeing his brother. He was such a good kid, but MyungSoo wasn’t able to take care of him the way a brother should. He felt guilty, but he didn’t know how to change it. The worst part was that MoonSoo didn’t seem to hold his brother’s emotional problems against him. He just continued to be sweet and happy whenever he saw him. It tore MyungSoo apart. Even when MyungSoo was forced out of the closet when his friend told the whole school his secret. It got back to MoonSoo, but he didn’t tell their parents and consoled his older brother when his friends began to turn on him.

Then the divorce happened, and MyungSoo fell to pieces even more. It was his brother who kept him together, who told him to keep going. But the words just made him feel even guiltier. He was the one who was supposed to be strong for MoonSoo. It wasn’t fair that MoonSoo had to be strong for him.

MyungSoo wanted to get better so that he could stand beside his brother and help him, for once. And now he also wanted to get better so he could find SungYeol again. MyungSoo wondered if the lanky kid in his dream was actually real. He felt so real. He had to be real; his emotions were so raw and tangible, his smile was so warm.

MyungSoo needed to find SungYeol so he could heal and then stand up straight once more.

Once everything from their small apartment had been loaded into the moving van, they got into their mom’s cramped car that was filled with all of their most personal belongings, the things that they couldn’t let out of their sights.

And they took off for the countryside, MyungSoo staring out the window as they wove through the Seoul traffic, watching the place he knew get farther and farther away.

>>Part 2!<<

A/N: Hey~ This kind of took me forever. I was revising it all weekend because my exams ended Friday, so I'm finally out of school for the summer (whoot~). That means I can work on more fanfics :D The whole thing was too big to post on it's own, so it's going to be in two parts D: I'm also working on a little sequel to this, so please keep an eye out for that! Also, MyungSoo is from Seoul in this, like in real life, but SungYeol's from somewhere else... I don't know where, I could do research on tiny towns in South Korea, but I hope you guys won't hold it against me if I don't. ^^; If anyone sees anything that I could improve in anyway, such as grammar or sentence-formations, please let me know, I want you guys to see the best quality piece I can put out! This goes for anything I may post in the future as well. Thanks for reading~<3
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