I'm assuming this is the short story for your fiction class, and also assuming thats its Intro to Creative Writing: Fiction which I'm also taking. So if those assumptions are correct: I really loved the story. For whatever reason most of what I hear in my class at least is about our current stage of life, college or just out of it. I really like the way you captured these characters uniquely. They both stood out to me, which is something I think is rare in intro fiction classes. Also, your subject is really interesting. Its creative, but its not out of the box just for the sake of it. It seems honest, if that makes sense.
Anyway, I liked it. Very good. Write about how your workshop goes because I'm super nervous about mine.
I feel like there's a lot of untrodden ground in my Intro Fiction class that people are just too eager to tread on. Swearing! Cigarettes! Teenagers! Breaking the law! That's been my frustration with the material of my classmates, but I don't suppose that's what's important. :P
Thank you for your kind words! Workshop is on Thursday. I'll let you know! Good luck with yours, too; I'm sure it'll go great!
This is really beautiful, I love it. The last line is especially poignant, and I feel like that's how last lines of short stories should be.
But the situation and characters are unique. Your descriptions are compact and effective. You use words sparingly but so well. I really, really liked it.
Thank you! The line wasn't originally going to be the last one, but it just kind of ended up there. (Although I have questions about putting the dreams in at all--does it seem kind of pedantic? Do they need to be there? I like them so much, though! I need to learn to kill my darlings D:)
Do you think there could stand to be more description? I like giving people pictures but I think I want this one to be a little nebulous.
Again thank you Ren for being awesome and feedbacking!
Comments 4
I really loved the story. For whatever reason most of what I hear in my class at least is about our current stage of life, college or just out of it. I really like the way you captured these characters uniquely. They both stood out to me, which is something I think is rare in intro fiction classes.
Also, your subject is really interesting. Its creative, but its not out of the box just for the sake of it. It seems honest, if that makes sense.
Anyway, I liked it. Very good. Write about how your workshop goes because I'm super nervous about mine.
Reply
Thank you for your kind words! Workshop is on Thursday. I'll let you know! Good luck with yours, too; I'm sure it'll go great!
Reply
But the situation and characters are unique. Your descriptions are compact and effective. You use words sparingly but so well. I really, really liked it.
Reply
Do you think there could stand to be more description? I like giving people pictures but I think I want this one to be a little nebulous.
Again thank you Ren for being awesome and feedbacking!
Reply
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