First Charm - Audio

[glad_of_war]

Well, isn't this unexpected. There I was, dead and wept over and vigil had and held and been done with, and now I wake up with not a pearly gate in sight. I know a kid who's big in the Bible Belt who'd be tipping tables and crying bloody martyrdom if he heard about this place

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[glad_of_war]

[Have a MERRY LAUGH.]

Well, I'd certainly say so, but I don't like to speak to the minds of others.

[glad_of_war]

Well, then for your sake, I shall hope that Tuesday never comes.

[Private]

That said, all the people in the universe you've got unpleasant history with, the odds are definitely against them all staying away forever.

[takeyouapart]

Loads of people. I'm Merlin! Hello.

[Pause. Kind of impossible to tell from this if you're a Warden or an Inmate who's been backreading. NEVER MIND.]

...a man like you?

[glad_of_war]

Ah, Merlin! It's a thrill to meet you in the flesh! Or even almost in the flesh, as the case may be.

And man like me, as in, a man of great vice and hedonistic abandon. Naturally.

[takeyouapart]

You end up bumping into everyone in the actual flesh eventually.

Where are you from, Mr. Wednesday?

[glad_of_war]

Oh, I'm sure I will.

America, though my roots run further afield. Why do you ask?

[doctor_j_crane]

If you died, you're an inmate. Welcome to the last place you're ever going to see.

[glad_of_war]

Well there's an optimistic outlook if ever I heard one, what's wrong, son? Don't believe you've got it in you to graduate?

[He back read a smidgen.]

[doctor_j_crane]

Excuse me? How dare you suggest that? You've been here all of five minutes. You don't know how things work.

[glad_of_war]

[Laughter! Oh u Crane, Oh u!]

If you think this is some place where we stay forever, that means you're not expecting to ever leave, if you're not expecting to ever leave, that means you're not expecting to ever graduate.

If this was some kind of closely guarded secret, then I've got to tell you, you need to come up with a better code to hide it behind.

[sharpememory]

You've got plenty of variety here. You're going to enjoy it, I can tell.

[glad_of_war]

Oh, I certainly hope so! And I've had the pleasure of being exposed to some among that variety already!

May I ask to whom it is I'm speaking?

[sharpememory]

Barron Sharpe, inmate. Good to meet you, Mr Wednesday. You sound like a party and a half.

[glad_of_war]

Pleased to meet you, Mr Sharpe, and I certainly try to be.

So what are you in for?

[strangehstorian]

Welcome to the Barge, Mr. Wednesday. My name is Chromie, I work here.