When I first believed in Angels.

[subjective1]

Pairing: Adam/Kris and a cast of various other AI contestants
Rating: Very adult R language in this chapter. Sexual intimacy will develop
Disclaimer: I do not know these characters. I have made up personalities for them that are completely fictional. I am not compensated in any way from this fictional story.

Reading the invitation brings back memories. Some are good, some great. It was a wild ride, American Idol. Hard work, but I had a lot of fun too. I got everything I wanted from the show, fame, fortune and more. What more did I get? I met my best friend on that journey. We had a tough time for a while, Kris and I. But we made it back over the line to friendship. We keep in touch through email and texting mostly. I am excited to see him tonight. It has been too long.
My Driver and Body Guard are waiting for me by the limo. It has been a chore for me to get used to the idea that I cannot just go and do what I want, when I want. Everything must be coordinated now. But I have great guys for the job. My driver is a forgiving and friendly guy. He puts up with all my limo antics. My Body Guard is straight from a poster for the Marines. Just don’t point out an innocent dead creature on the side of the road. He quickly goes from Marine poster boy to Girl Scout on the verge of tears.

“Hey guys, ready to go”?

In unison, “Ready when you are Mr. Lambert”.

A smile sneaks across my face. I shake my head, “Mr. Lambert” They know this annoys me. Smart asses. They usually reserve this type of display for an audience of paparazzi. It doesn’t bode well for the evening that they are warming up.

Once we get down off the hill traffic is a nightmare. On the bright side it gives me time for a cocktail. If traffic is really bad, two cocktails.

Traffic turned out to be two cocktails bad but we finally pull up to the party. It looks like a great turnout. I see people from different seasons. Everyone is animated, talking and smiling at each other as they head for the party.

My driver opens the door and extends his hand to help me out. Jackass. He bows, “Mr. Lambert.” I hear the click, click click of cameras. My Diva status has just taken flight.

“Adam f’ing Lambert” I hear as I‘m half way out of the limo, unassisted, having refused the hand of my insolent driver. I straighten up and look over. My girl Allie. Man, she looks fantastic. All rocked out. Her hair is longer and still dyed a rainbow of colors. She has on a pair of boots with enough heel on them to cause shin splints. And that smile, there is nothing quite like her smile. It goes all the way to her eyes.

I throw out my arms as I make my way to her. “Allie. I’ve missed the hell out of you girl. Look at you, all grown up looking. Miss Bad Ass”

She skips over to me, her arms stretched out for our hug. She nestles herself into me, face turned up.

“I’m grown up enough for a kiss from the legendary Sex God Adam Lambert. Now get your face down here and lay one on me. And don’t skimp, you have a reputation to live up to and I kiss and tell.”

“I never pass up kissing a Rock Goddess”. I pulled her in extra tight, “Come here Sweetie”.

It felt so good to hug her tight. I thought I gave her a respectable kiss but apparently not. She has pulled away from me, hands on her hips with a cocky tilt of the head.

“Any self respecting Sex God would have given me a hip press and slipped me some tongue”

I put on a serious face, combined with an exaggerated brotherly tone. “No self respecting Sex God would slip his little sister the tongue and the hip press would just be bad breeding.”

I put my arm around her and pull her in. “Now come on Sis, let’s get this party started.”

She is faking a pout as she puts her arm around me. She looks me up and down, mostly down, as we walk. She smirks, shaking her head. “I see you didn’t hold back on the sexy tonight. Can you breathe in those jeans?”

Allie’s interest in the fit of my jeans has its own page in the history book of Crushes and Curiosities of a Teenager.

“If you would drag your eyes up to my chest, you would see that I am breathing just fine.”

This gets an embarrassed laugh out of her as she tugs on my waist.

“Ass.”

Inside I feel like I have gone back in time to high school. Cliques have formed. You can tell the different seasons of Idol by the people huddled in their respective groups. They are no doubt rehashing the trials and tribulations of their season.

Allie spots “our season” and points to them. They are circled in animated conversation.

I look over as she pulls me in their direction.

Kris. My eyes have gone to his. He can still feel me and looks over. This hasn’t changed for us. His eyes find mine. Our love for each other flashes, is then quickly put away where no one can question it.

Season 8 parts for us, like the parting of the waters and I find it kinda funny. Our friendship is not lost on them. Kris hurries towards me, arms stretched out for a full body hug, a huge smile about to break his face in half. He wraps his arms around me, pushing his face into my chest like he always does. I feel my name, warm and vibrating against my chest.

“It is so good to finally lay eyes on you”

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him in tight. As I burry my face in his neck I breathe in a guilty pleasure, remembering his scent.

“I’ve missed seeing you too Kris.”

We hug for what society would say is a little too long as I store enough memory to last me until we hug again.

I am the one to finally break the hold, taking him by the shoulders, much as I did when he won AI. We look into each other, saying all we need to say without a word. I realize just how much I have missed the physical company of my friend. I see him nod slightly, acknowledging he feels the same.

Season 8 comes crashing in around us with hugs and hellos. They have given us all the private time they will. Kris fits himself back into me like old times as we settle down to catching up with friends.

After a bit of networking I find myself alone at the bar with a much needed martini in hand. I am people watching as I bring the olive up, preparing to slide it off its cute little stick. I can feel someone looking at me. In my peripheral vision I can just make out someone approaching me. I chuckle to myself. Why does he think he can sneak up on me? I decide to play it up, like old times. I keep looking straight ahead as I intentionally wrap my tongue slowly around the olive, sliding it slowly off the stick in a parody of seductiveness. With my most ridiculous bedroom eyes I spin around on the stool, open my legs, lean back and look into a pair of beautiful, very innocent brown eyes. I freeze in my performance.

The eyes go a little wide as they make their way from my sprawling legs, to my mouth and finally to my eyes. He has his mouth open a little, as if to speak to me but quickly closes it down. A weak, nervous smile tries to form on his lips but fails as he drops his eyes and backs away. As he turns to leave I see a hot pink blush spread across the back of his neck and up to his ears.

Shit. I think I have just looked into the eyes of an Angel. And by the way he is making a fast retreat, I would say he thinks he has met the devil.

I hang my head a second, resting it in my hands as I cover my face. Someone plops down next to me, bumping my knee. I look over, it’s Kris. He is seconds too late.

Hey, what’s the matter? You got a headache?”

I uncover my face and look straight ahead. “No, no headache. But I just made an ass out of myself”.

I quickly swing my eyes to Kris. “Don’t even say it Kris.”

Kris smirks, “O.K. So what did you do this time?”

I level a look at him, “That was subtle.” I cover my eyes with one hand, rubbing back and forth.

“I’m not sure I want to share this one.”

Kris is laughing now, “Hmm, that good was it. Come on, I swear I won’t laugh or anything.”

I drop my hand and level him another look, “You mean like you didn’t just accuse me of frequently making an ass of myself?”

He looks like a fucking cartoon as he tries desperately to stop smirking. His face all screwed down. Against my better judgment I proceed to tell the story. He has gone from smirking to full on laughing. I guess I can’t completely blame him. It will be pretty funny once I get it all straightened out.

I’d like to playfully bitch slap the glee off his face as he says, “Oh man, you have outdone yourself on this one. You must have scared the crap outta that kid”.

I don’t bother to “level” my look at him this time, it isn’t working. With as much sarcasm as I can muster I reply, “You think? Shit, I hope he hasn’t left. I don’t want to have to track his ass down to explain things. You know, have my people contact his people. Shit. Kris, go see if you can find him.”

Kris slides off the stool and starts to walk away. He turns to me holding his stomach like he is about to break into a belly laugh. “Shall I bring the nubile Prince to your Highness?”

My first thought is, what the hell has Kris been reading. My second thought is, why the hell did I tell him, my third thought is one of violence.

“Just find him. Come and tell me where he is so I can go and apologize or explain or something.”

I catch the bartenders eye and order another martini. I’ll leave the olive alone this time.

I have barely sipped my drink when Kris comes up from behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders to deliver the news.

“I found him.” He points behind me. “He is with Jason Castro and Brooke White”.

I spin around on my stool and look over. Great, a choir of angels is about to meet the devil. God I hope he has not told them.

As I slide off my stool Kris slaps my shoulder, “This is going to be priceless, please say I can come along.”

Upon seeing my look he sits his cute little ass back down on the stool and says, “O.K. then. Good luck”.

As I walk up to them I watch Jason Castro recognize me. He doesn’t look like he is pissed. His smile is not a mocking one. Brooke sees him smiling and looks my way. She doesn’t look peeved. Things are looking up. I glance over to see David looking at me with one of those fake, stretched smiles that makes your lips thin.

I don’t know these people. I just know who they are, just like they know who I am. I finish the short journey to their circle, first looking Jason in the eye as I extend my hand for a handshake.

“Hey, Adam Lambert.”

Jason smiles, “Yeah, Jason Castro. Nice to meet you. Love your CD man.”

I consider lying and saying I like his too but decide to just thank him. I sneak a look at David. He already has his eyes downcast, fidgeting around like a prom date.

As I extend my hand to Brooke I take in the fact that she really is a beauty. She has a very calm demeanor and kind eyes. I mean it when I say, “Nice to meet you. You are even more beautiful in person.”

She takes me in before looking me directly in the eye, I feel like I’m interviewing for a job, “It is nice to meet you Adam. You are really making a splash out there. Good for you. And thank you. ”

It isn’t lost of me that she has not said she enjoys my music. But hey, not everyone does.

I take a deep breath and hope no one notices it. I extend my hand to David. I wait a very uncomfortable amount of time for him to look at me. To say he is extremely nervous is an understatement and I wonder if Jason and Brooke are contemplating this. I know very little about this kid other than seeing him during interviews and watching him perform on our season of Idol. My limited knowledge is that he is shy and awkward. Very sheltered. He looks every bit of this description as he all but pinches the tips of my fingers in the lamest handshake I have ever endured.

As I am about to address him I place my other hand over our fake handshake, readjusting our hands to fit into a proper handshake.

I give him my best smile peppered with a little apology in my eyes, “Hey David, nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you” he says like a good little wooden soldier. “I guess you didn’t like the song I sent to you.”

At this revelation Jason and Brooke look at me like, you guessed it, the devil. Shit. Is this kid on this planet, in my path, to make my life a series of embarrassments tonight? I reply. “I wouldn’t say that. I just got a lot of songs. I could only use so many.”

He is nodding his head like he is deciding if I’m blowing smoke up his ass. He looks me in the eye. Shit, can he tell I didn’t know he sent me a song? Shit. I find myself talking again.

“Honestly, no one told me you sent a song for consideration. If they had I would have insisted on hearing it. I have nothing but respect for your talent. You have the voice of an Angel.”

Shit . Really, “Voice of an Angel”. Jesus, maybe that wasn’t a martini I drank, it must have been that special kool-aide.

I need to get this kid alone so I can explain, apologize and then get the hell out of here. I take another big breathe, about to ask David if I can talk to him for a minute alone.

The universe at this point in time decides to give me a big break. Jason and Brooke awkwardly excuse themselves to get refreshments.

I hear David say, Yeah, I’m kinda thirsty too.”

Oh no little one. You are not going anywhere. I put my hand up and say, “David, can I talk to you a minute before you go.”

I say goodbye, nice to meet you to Jason and Brooke. I turn back to David. He is still fidgety. His eyes darting around the room. His discomfort is palpable. It is making me uncomfortable.

“David listen.” Again I find myself waiting an uncomfortable amount of time for him to look at me.

“I’m sorry about what happened at the bar. I can only imagine what you are thinking. The truth is I thought you were someone else.”

I watch what I said wash over him and I’m instantly aware.

I quickly add, “And I was playing a joke on that someone else”.

He sighs, “Gosh. Uhh, I feel pretty stupid for taking off like I did. I thought. I.”

He thought what? That I would actually try to pick up someone like that? I laugh one of those mocking laughs. Just a little one because he is already spooked enough. “I wouldn’t be like that to anyone actually. I know I have a reputation but come on, that was pretty over the top, even for “someone like me.”

He is still more interested in his shoes than my eyes at this point. So I say to the top of his head. “Hey, I just wanted to apologize, o.k. You obviously did not appreciate my performance, right. Hey, it’s o.k. Maybe its best I got out of theater, don’t you think?”

He finally looks up. I see his eyes start to soften, the hint of a smile forming, “Maybe you could do comedy.”

My face lights up at his comeback. There’s hope for this kid, there really is. I bow a little, using one of my silly voices “It was my pleasure to amuse you.”

He finally relaxes a little, grinning in his success.

I find myself caught up in his smile a little. His eyes sparkle when relaxes. Adorable comes to mind. “O.K., so we’re good, right.”

I see relief wash over him, “We’re good.”

We stand in a bit of awkward silence. “ Wait” I said, “Before we put this all behind us, were you coming to have a normal conversation with me?”

As I wait for him to reply I find myself taking him in. His skin is perfect. His eyes are gorgeous. He has a perfect build and his smile could melt the coldest heart. I catch myself leaning into him and correct myself immediately.

His voice breaks my spell. “Uh, I was just going to say hi and introduce myself. I really do like your CD and I guess I just wanted to meet you. I have seen some of your videos and wow, you are really, I don’t know. Gosh, Just. I guess, just exciting or something. I think I did want to get around to asking why you didn’t like the song I sent to you.”

“Well, first, thank you for thinking I am, umm, exciting and I hope you believe my explanation about the song, it is the truth.”

“I do believe you. You have honest eyes.”

This small compliment warms me more than it should. “Uh, well thank you.” Is all I can muster for as a reply.

I have done what I came to do so I start the ritual for ending our conversation. But the Angel is not done with me yet.

He blurts out. “I am moving to L.A.”

“Really, well I hope you like it here. Where are you moving from?”

He looks disappointed or hurt? “Utah. I guess you don’t know much about me.”

I file this statement in my mind for later review before saying, “ I know what is important to know about you. You are forgiving.” I smile down at him, “You are a good judge of character, right?” He smiles back at my little joke. “You are a very talented musician. You have a beautiful voice. You have a smile for miles and the kindest eyes I have ever looked into.”

A bright pink blush has raced up his neck to his cheeks. He looks up at me. I watch as emotions I cannot read cross his eyes. And although I cannot read these emotions, I feel them as they wrench a response from my heart. I can’t decide for sure if I see a thin film over his eyes. His voice is so small it could be considered a whisper.

“Thank you.”

I reach over and lightly touch his forearm, surprised at how good I feel that he doesn’t pull away from me. My soft response seems inappropriate upon reflection, but felt right in the moment, “You’re welcome” I practically whispered myself as I slowly remove my hand from his.

I see Brooke and Jason trying to get his attention. They obviously want to leave and he is a part of that departure. I don’t know what overcomes me but I find myself defying all that is logical, blurting out,

“Hey, if you need a Realtor here in L.A. my Mom is in the biz. She knows what you need as far as security and all. She found me a great place at a great price. I would be happy to hook you up with her if you are interested?”

His face lights up. He looks almost beautiful in that moment. “That would be great. I would love that. Do you want my number or do you want to give me your number?”

As I conveniently forget that my Mom’s number, the one programmed into my phone, would be the logical number to give him, I tell him “I’ll give you my number. That way you can think it over and change your mind if you want to.”

He looks up at me. His eyes look like he is making a decision. He looks at me with resolve, “I won’t. I won’t change my mind.”

He hands me his phone so I can program my number in. The devil in me quickly programs my number as his #1. I hand him his phone back. “All done. My Mom is going to love you. You’ll love her too. She is the greatest”.

I see Brooke start to walk towards us. I irrationally do not want anyone in this moment. I say to David, “Hey, you better get going, Brooke is looking like an impatient Mom.”

I start to turn away as I say “Call me, o.k?” Hoping the please is missing from my voice.

He turns back, all he says is “I will. Bye.” But I heard a promise in there.

I turn back around to watch him go and find him watching me. I think I look as embarrassed as he does for once. We both smile and wave goodbye.