i extend my sincerest apologies to those of you who read this on a regular basis. i don't expect to be updating soon, or often. i don't update often anyways, but still, i'll be updating even less, if you can imagine that. but anyway, i must be going now. once again, i apologize, and i'll come on to leave comments whenever i can. take care you ( Read more... )

i actually got out of the house friday night, and hung out with jen, and star on the other side of town. even though it wasn't packed with stimulating activity, it was nice to spend quality time with jen, considering that for as long as i've known her, which is almost two years now, we've never seen each other outside of school. carazy. we waited ( Read more... )

i just got back from the local used bookstore, The Paperback Exchange. (more affectionately known as The Grumpy Old Lady Bookstore.) i fingerwalked across the spines of romance, action, drama, mystery, non-fiction, and had settled on The Belljar by Sylvia Plath (may she rest in piece), and 'Tis by Frank McCourt, the sequel to Angela's Ashes. but i ( Read more... )

heat is deplorable. having less than two weeks of school left is not. what a bittersweet victory. my daunting lack of savoir-faire is getting me down. my timid nature has cast me into a well of perpetual loneliness. my conversations with others usually consist of: hello... i'm okay, how are you?... okay, seeya. i guess i just have no wit. not that ( Read more... )

some interesting things are going on. i got caught for ditching school, and am now grounded, we know this already. i'm trying to leave this hell hole to live with my mum, we know that too. now, it looks like i'll be landing a job at chevy's: a decent restaurant inside the hilton hotel/casino. i'm also trying to manage a three, or four day trip to ( Read more... )

so, i got grounded, and now i have to miss the bad religion concert tonight and i'm oh-so bummed about it. i've been fulfilling the daily routine of get up, school, home, read, bed. it's nauseating. needless to say, there isn't much to rant about this time. oh, but i may be going to live with my mum soon, which means that yours truly will be seeing ( Read more... )

"Destruction's not necessarily a bad thing. We've been programmed, brainwashed into believing it is, which isn't surprising, especially in a society which values materialism as much as ours. But you have to see through that bullshit and try to see that destrustrion is really necessary. All being is a state of perpetual perishing. As we grow we also ( Read more... )

yea.. neurotic, that fits perfectly. i hadn't talked to shannon in days and when she comes back, she tells me that her date for the prom, john, drove her to a park that was closed, and proceeded to force himself on her, and then cut her twice with a knife when she resisted. a park cop showed up and told them both to knock it off. that the park was ( Read more... )

i just got back from downtown. i started reading Wonderland Avenue. a novel about the sixties drug culture. i'm also writing something of my own that i hope to publish someday (i mean.. i am a writer, i might as well start now) about a rather promiscuous girl who becomes infatuated with a virgin. i'm planning a kind of fucked-up ending because i ( Read more... )

self-loathing, and lethargy having been creeping through my veins and arteries since the moment my eyes jerked open, lurching me into consciousness this morning. i stayed home watching black adder episodes, and playing guitar. yesterday i put in a roll of film that i took for a friend of myself in front of the bathroom mirror (which made me feel ( Read more... )