A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
~UNLESS IT'S A PICTURE OF PATRICK STUMP, THEN IT'S PRICELESS~
-OR-
A PICSPAM: A STORY
Pete liked to think of himself as a reasonable person and a reasonable rock-n-roll star. He didn't think that he asked for much. So, when the label asked them for a list of the things that they were going to need in the upcoming few months, he made sure to show everyone else what a reasonable little guy he was.
(There were only four items on his list, and he knows for a fact that Joe's had at least six.)
P3T3 W3NTZ'S VERY REASONABLE LIST OF NEEDS:
2 (TWO) tour buses
1 (ONE) personal manservant to torture
1 (ONE) trip to Africa
the unwavering attention 1 (ONE) Patrick Stump
Really, that was it. It wasn't like he was a diva
or anything, that demanded that all of the blue m&m's be picked out of the bag before it could be given to him. (And not just because he happened to like blue m&m's.)
So, it kind of irked him when he got the first three demands requests on his list, but not the fourth.
First, it was inanimate objects that stole all of Patrick's attention.
But it got worse. A lot worse.
After inanimate objects came the ladies,
which was bad enough. But at least then Pete didn't feel threatened. Because Patrick kept dropping not-so-subtle hints that he might have been a little bit gay.
He didn't even like looking at boobies.
But then came the guys. And even worse was the fact that most of the guys were Pete's friends. THEY KNEW THAT PATRICK WAS OFF-LIMITS, even if Patrick didn't know that.
He was jealous, okay? And don't even try to tell him that you wouldn't be jealous if it was your (TOTALLY SOON TO BE) man that people kept trying to mack on.
And even WORSE THAN THAT, was when Pete's own band mates got in on the hot Patrick action.
For a little while, Pete was like this:
And he wanted to be like this:
But in the end, he was mostly:
(Pete was a glutton for punishment; everyone knew that. So he couldn't help but go, friend to friend, and threaten question their motives.
"Naw, man," Travis had said, "Me and your boy were just working on the new album. We didn't mess around. Besides, Bill would've killed me.
Gabe had just grinned slyly when Pete brought up the whole 'touching Patrick' thing, until he realized that Pete was maybe two seconds away from killing him. "There was nothing going on! We're just friends! And anyway, Bill would totally have killed me.
With Dirty, all Pete did was kick him in the balls. He got the message loud and clear. Possibly because as Pete was kicking, he was screaming about the EPIC LOVE THAT WAS GOING TO BE PATRICK AND PETE.
Bob was. Well, he didn't ask Bob. Because Bob could probably just crush him with the power of his mind. But, when Bob wasn't looking, Pete was totally going to give him the evil eye.
As for his band mates. He scoffed. They'd pay. He wasn't quite sure how just yet. But mark his words, they would pay. Maybe, once he and Patrick were married and had babies
they'd make Andy and Joe babysit. Yeah. That'd probably work.)
Pete embraced his brooding, emo side
for awhile. So what? Maybe it's because a certain sometimes blond
sometimes red-head
was ripping Pete's still-beating heart out of his chest.
But Pete had a plan. A plan to turn the tables on the blond-red-head, and make Patrick just as jealous as he's been making Pete. A plan that didn't require the use of a cunning disguise, but didn't NOT require the use of one either.
And, so what if his plan wasn't all that inventive or original, IT WOULD TOTALLY WORK.
OPERATION: MAKE PATRICK MARTIN STUMP(H) JEALOUS
1. BE SEEN WITH CHICKS.
2. HANG WITH DUDES.
The first step was super easy. He called up Ashlee and asked if she wanted to help him out.
"With what," she had asked.
"With the epic love story that is going to be me and Patrick,"
he'd said.
Ashlee had agreed in the end. She'd said something about how she wanted to do it to make her dad jealous, which freaked Pete out something awful and he just decided to pretend she'd never said anything of the sort.
It didn't seem to be working though. Patrick didn't seem jealous at all. Actually, he didn't seem to notice anything at all. Pete totally expected Patrick to be all:
Or even:
But he wasn't. So it was time to move on to the second step of Operation: MPMS(H)J. Hanging with dudes.
So, he put on his prettiest boots
and called up his dudes.
"Let's hang," he said. "You owe me," he said to some of them.
(That time with Gabe had been like a car wreck. People wanted to look away, God knows Pete did, but they couldn't stop staring in fascinated horror.)
AND PATRICK STILL WASN'T JEALOUS, OR PROFESSING HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR ALL THINGS PETE WENTZ.
Instead, Patrick was all:
Like he didn't even care!
Sadly, Pete admitted that his mission had failed. But still, he wouldn't give up. He'd just take a more direct approach. A much
more
direct
("Ha ha, Andy," Pete said. "No really. Back off.")
approach.
***
Later, Patrick told him that he knew all about his stupid little plan.
Pete, upon hearing that, was all:
"But you didn't have to worry," Patrick said. "Because I've been yours since I first met you. And as long as no one tells my mom that little fact, that's how it's going to stay."
THE END
~UNLESS IT'S A PICTURE OF PATRICK STUMP, THEN IT'S PRICELESS~
-OR-
A PICSPAM: A STORY
Pete liked to think of himself as a reasonable person and a reasonable rock-n-roll star. He didn't think that he asked for much. So, when the label asked them for a list of the things that they were going to need in the upcoming few months, he made sure to show everyone else what a reasonable little guy he was.
(There were only four items on his list, and he knows for a fact that Joe's had at least six.)
P3T3 W3NTZ'S VERY REASONABLE LIST OF NEEDS:
2 (TWO) tour buses
1 (ONE) personal manservant to torture
1 (ONE) trip to Africa
the unwavering attention 1 (ONE) Patrick Stump
Really, that was it. It wasn't like he was a diva
or anything, that demanded that all of the blue m&m's be picked out of the bag before it could be given to him. (And not just because he happened to like blue m&m's.)
So, it kind of irked him when he got the first three demands requests on his list, but not the fourth.
First, it was inanimate objects that stole all of Patrick's attention.
But it got worse. A lot worse.
After inanimate objects came the ladies,
which was bad enough. But at least then Pete didn't feel threatened. Because Patrick kept dropping not-so-subtle hints that he might have been a little bit gay.
He didn't even like looking at boobies.
But then came the guys. And even worse was the fact that most of the guys were Pete's friends. THEY KNEW THAT PATRICK WAS OFF-LIMITS, even if Patrick didn't know that.
He was jealous, okay? And don't even try to tell him that you wouldn't be jealous if it was your (TOTALLY SOON TO BE) man that people kept trying to mack on.
And even WORSE THAN THAT, was when Pete's own band mates got in on the hot Patrick action.
For a little while, Pete was like this:
And he wanted to be like this:
But in the end, he was mostly:
(Pete was a glutton for punishment; everyone knew that. So he couldn't help but go, friend to friend, and threaten question their motives.
"Naw, man," Travis had said, "Me and your boy were just working on the new album. We didn't mess around. Besides, Bill would've killed me.
Gabe had just grinned slyly when Pete brought up the whole 'touching Patrick' thing, until he realized that Pete was maybe two seconds away from killing him. "There was nothing going on! We're just friends! And anyway, Bill would totally have killed me.
With Dirty, all Pete did was kick him in the balls. He got the message loud and clear. Possibly because as Pete was kicking, he was screaming about the EPIC LOVE THAT WAS GOING TO BE PATRICK AND PETE.
Bob was. Well, he didn't ask Bob. Because Bob could probably just crush him with the power of his mind. But, when Bob wasn't looking, Pete was totally going to give him the evil eye.
As for his band mates. He scoffed. They'd pay. He wasn't quite sure how just yet. But mark his words, they would pay. Maybe, once he and Patrick were married and had babies
they'd make Andy and Joe babysit. Yeah. That'd probably work.)
Pete embraced his brooding, emo side
for awhile. So what? Maybe it's because a certain sometimes blond
sometimes red-head
was ripping Pete's still-beating heart out of his chest.
But Pete had a plan. A plan to turn the tables on the blond-red-head, and make Patrick just as jealous as he's been making Pete. A plan that didn't require the use of a cunning disguise, but didn't NOT require the use of one either.
And, so what if his plan wasn't all that inventive or original, IT WOULD TOTALLY WORK.
OPERATION: MAKE PATRICK MARTIN STUMP(H) JEALOUS
1. BE SEEN WITH CHICKS.
2. HANG WITH DUDES.
The first step was super easy. He called up Ashlee and asked if she wanted to help him out.
"With what," she had asked.
"With the epic love story that is going to be me and Patrick,"
he'd said.
Ashlee had agreed in the end. She'd said something about how she wanted to do it to make her dad jealous, which freaked Pete out something awful and he just decided to pretend she'd never said anything of the sort.
It didn't seem to be working though. Patrick didn't seem jealous at all. Actually, he didn't seem to notice anything at all. Pete totally expected Patrick to be all:
Or even:
But he wasn't. So it was time to move on to the second step of Operation: MPMS(H)J. Hanging with dudes.
So, he put on his prettiest boots
and called up his dudes.
"Let's hang," he said. "You owe me," he said to some of them.
(That time with Gabe had been like a car wreck. People wanted to look away, God knows Pete did, but they couldn't stop staring in fascinated horror.)
AND PATRICK STILL WASN'T JEALOUS, OR PROFESSING HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR ALL THINGS PETE WENTZ.
Instead, Patrick was all:
Like he didn't even care!
Sadly, Pete admitted that his mission had failed. But still, he wouldn't give up. He'd just take a more direct approach. A much
more
direct
("Ha ha, Andy," Pete said. "No really. Back off.")
approach.
***
Later, Patrick told him that he knew all about his stupid little plan.
Pete, upon hearing that, was all:
"But you didn't have to worry," Patrick said. "Because I've been yours since I first met you. And as long as no one tells my mom that little fact, that's how it's going to stay."
THE END