I wrote today...

[glasssubway]

So I've been feeling kind of guilty lately about not really trying to write as much as I used to--I mean original stuff. I really wanted to do NaNo this year (but when I look back at what I was doing November, I was like "Well, hello, chemistry IAs and huge projects in almost every class." So it would have been a failure. Also I have no novel ideas

Comments

[cleartempest]

Ooo, a river stained by suicides. XD I like to think that this is like a third-person biographical account huhu~ no I'm not imagining you in your car and...stuff...X_X OKAY WHY DID I EVEN SAY THAT I feel like so 'B) why hello thar'

I read it before you made the edit...and then when I came back I saw you took it off.
ehhh... I think both could work. This new ending makes her YOU seem more thoughtful about the river, like there are still stories that you feel you could drag out of it. But your old ending gave me the idea that she felt kind of intellectually exasperated (?) sorry for putting such words together but, uh, hopefully you get the idea ><. It seemed as if she was looking at the river to gauge the depths and then she sighs because she realizes something like the emotion this river has swallowed, or she realizes the endless possibilities that could drive one to suicide or THAT WHY DO PEOPLE EXIST TO DIE OR SOMETHING EXTREMELY DEEP AND PROFOUND that she felt she couldn't immediately wrap her mind around. I kind of like the

[tasteslikeacid]

I really love the imagery you have in this- I think it really drives the story. I also like how tragic each of her stories are, combined with the rather eloquent and beautiful descriptions of her surroundings. Sort of gives me a 'deceptiveness of nature' vibe, which I think the MC of this is struggling with. Hoping to be inspired by the beautiful scene before her, she comes up with these rather tragic and morbid ideas and ultimately feels emotionally exhausted.

Or, alternatively, I've been in art school far too long.

You decide. :P

But no, I really like this. It's engaging and flows nicely, and as I said, your imagery and descriptions of nature are wonderful.

[dame_batsie]

I really like this: you took a simple subject like writer's block and added layers of emotion to them.

blonde hair pooling around her like liquid strands of the moonlight that shines in such a loving manner on the dreadful scene.
Awesome metaphor.

I think your friend was right - it sounds better without the last line. The last line doesn't really add much to the ending - we already know she's exasperated and impatient by her tapping her pen and staring thoughtfully into the water.