soooo the powers that be got my appointment dates mixed up. i'm going today at 2:30. wish me luck.

so another realization...i did nothing wrong. i knew i did nothing wrong but i've never done well in situations where my version of reality is pitted against the view of another. especially not another who is actually and possibly literally insane. [i just described my childhood]. but that's not what i'm talking about. i'm talking about this thing ( Read more... )

why spend money i don't have on food i'm either unwilling or unable to eat? because it smells good and makes me feel normal. i'm seriously not gonna make this a place where all i do is bitch about not feeling well, that's not even why i started this post. the important thing is that i'm out and determined to get the things done that i need to do ( Read more... )

POST FROM YESTERDAY THAT I COULD NOT GET POSTED TIL TODAY....

lot's of fun at Joey's party last night. so good to see everyone. not much else to report. still sleepy. with any luck i'll get some homework done today. argh. more later maybe.

just a small rant ( Read more... )

in case anyone was wondering operation double distraction failed miserably in it's mission, but was a huge success overall...[i really am like a 13 yr old girl i'm starting to think this may never change]. boy #2 simply alerted me to the fact that boy #1 would have to be stupid not to appreciate my advances [which made some plausible sense], ( Read more... )

the good news: i know i can't be completely dead inside because i've been daydreaming about a boy all day ( Read more... )

my head is spinning, my mood is foul. my stomach is churning and the coffee will not help with that. why am i trying to wake myself up at 1:16 PM? i've been awake for hours but i can't wake up.

So, as insane as all of this was, and as much as it hurt...i have to say i'm glad it's all over. there's a peace that comes from complete surrender. that moment when you realize that the floor just dropped out from under you, all your fears have come true and you're gliding face first toward your personal rock bottom. The calm is overwhelming once ( Read more... )

*sigh* what to say ( Read more... )