FanFic: AU university story Ch4
"Revenge is a Dish Best Served Gay" Chapter 4
Merlin was half way through his mind numbing BioChem class when he received a text from Arthur.
There is a white bloke with dreadlocks setting up a telly in our room. WTF? And should I call 999?
He stared at the words disbelievingly and then cursed when he realized he missed an important note on cell metabolism. Hastily, Merlin scribbled down the notes from the girl next to him and was about to text Arthur back when another message came through.
Now he’s offering me a joint and talking about black rights. A little help, Emrys.
Not two seconds after Arthur’s second text one more came and Merlin groaned as he read it.
Merlin my brotha! It’s Will, man! Ur BF is fcking HOT! I think he’s scared of me tho. Lookin at me like im mental.
“Shit.” Merlin muttered. He’d have to get the notes later. This was an emergency. “Er…excuse me…” He mumbled to the people in his row as he stumbled his was out.
Merlin texted Arthur not to worry and that he was on the way before he sent a message to Will to not give Arthur drugs and to stop scaring strangers.
He’s half way through his dash across campus when he runs into Lance and Gwen on their way to class.
“All right, Merlin?” Lance asked as Merlin huffed and panted, trying to catch his breath.
“Fine.” Merlin gasped. “Just gotta save Arthur from The Renny.”
Gwen blanched. “Oh God. What is he this week?” She asked as Lance looked confusedly between them.
“He thinks he black.” Merlin groaned. “I’m sorry, Gwen. It was only a matter of time before he did it.”
Gwen merely laughed. “Oh, it’s okay Merlin. He doesn’t really mean anything by it. Besides this time next week he’ll probably think he’s Japanese.”
“God help us.” Merlin said. “Gotta go now. Fuck knows what he’s going to say to Arthur.”
“Who is this guy?” Lance asked. “A friend from back home?”
“Gwen’ll explain.” Merlin called as he ran off. “But only if you want nightmares for the next two weeks!”
After five more minutes of near death crashes and a bunch of pissed off people, Merlin was opening the door to his dorm room and was hit with an overpowering wave of smoke.
“Will!” He coughed. “What the hell?! You can’t bloody smoke in here!” Merlin wheezed as he slammed the door shut.
“Try telling him that.” Arthur said, dryly with one of Merlin’s medical masks over his face.
“Merlin!” Will cried as he tackled his friend. “How the hell are ya, brotha?”
“Will, for God’s sake!” Merlin said, trying to escape Will’s death grip. “What are you even doing here?”
“Can’t a bloke come visit his mate at school?” He asked, throwing a dreadlock behind his shoulder.
“How the fuck did you get dreadlocks so fast?” Merlin asked, ignoring Will's bull shit answer.
“Remember Cassie Adams from down the road? She’s workin in a hair studio now. She gave me these extension things and I made them into dreadlocks. Righteous, eh?”
“Oh my God.” Merlin moaned as he grabbed the joint out of Will’s limp grip. “You’ve seriously lost it this time.” He told his stoned friend as he chucked it into a cup of dirty water that housed his paint brushes.
“This time?” Arthur asked, removing the mask and mussing up his hair in the process. “You mean he’s done this before?”
“Will’s been going though and identity crisis since he was 13. He re-images himself about every two weeks. I don’t even remember what he actually looks like.”
Arthur’s eyebrows rose and they watched as Will went back to fiddling with the telly he brought with him.
“Is there any reason for it? Or is he just insane?” Arthur asked.
“Er…well…his dad died when he was 13. We think that’s what started it.”
Arthur nodded and looked sympathetic when Will cursed as he shocked himself on some wires.
Merlin sighed and went to dig out his First Aid kit. “So, what’s with the T.V, then?” Merlin asked Will as he chucked the boy some Solarcaine for the burn.
“Gotta job as an installer. We gotta surplus of tellies and my boss gave me a couple cheap. Figured you’d want one. Brought your Wii, too. I know you’d be jonesin for it.”
Merlin smiled at his friend. “Thanks, mate. I appreciate it.”
“Figures you’re a video game addict.” Arthur said with a smirk.
“Oh don’t worry.” Merlin said, threading their fingers together. “I’ll have you the same way in no time.”
Arthur snorted. “You can try.”
“Oh I will.” Merlin said, voice full of confidence.
“Ah, young love.” Will said with a hand over his heart. “Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt the sun doth move, Doubt truth to be a liar but never doubt thy love.”
Merlin and Arthur both turned their heads to look at Will.
“Shakespeare, Will?” Merlin asked. “Really?”
Will shrugged. “He was God last week. Besides, white girls dig that shit.”
“Oh my God.” Merlin groaned as he hid his face in Arthur shoulder.
He felt Arthur chuckle as his hand ruffled Merlin’s hair.
“Chill, Merlin.” Will said, happily. “Soon, you’ll be kickin your boyfriend’s sweet ass at Mario Cart. Now his arse will be sore for a different reason.” He cackled at his horrible crack.
Arthur looked mildly confused for a moment until the joke dawn on him.
“You’re a filthy minded bastard, aren’t you?” Arthur asked as Merlin cursed Will’s existence. “I wondered where Merlin learned it all from.”
“Oi, I’m not as bad as he is.” Merlin argued.
“No one is as bad as I am.” Will said smugly.
“Thank God for that. One dirty minded Renny is enough.” Merlin said.
“Renny?” Arthur asked.
“Short for Renaissance Man. His nickname.” Merlin explained.
“Which I hate, by the way.” Will reminded him as he began to hook Merlin’s Wii to the T.V.
“I know.” Merlin said with a grin as Will stood dusting his hands off.
“Careful, Magic Man, or else I’ll unhook your precious Wii and throw it out the window.”
“Magic Man?” Arthur asked, clearly intrigued.
“Don’t ask.” Merlin said as he glared at Will. “And you shut up. I told you never to call me that.”
“Fine, fine, don’t get all in my face, man.” Will told him waving a hand. “I was only kiddin.” He said as he looked around the room.
Will’s face became curious, then confused, then slowly disgusted before he blurted out;
“Jesus Christ, what the fuck is with your room?”
Will decided that he wanted to stay and play the Wii. (And smoke a bit more)
“For God’s sake!” Arthur snapped during the fifth round of Mario Kart. “How much of that shit are you going to smoke? I can barely breath over here.”
“You’re just pissed cause you keep losing.” Will told him. “You’re man is a little bit up tight, you know that?” He asked, turning to face Merlin who was passing Arthur another one of his medical masks.
“Shut up, Will.” Merlin said. “Learn to play nice with the other children.”
“Whatever, Dad.” Will replied with a long drag on his joint.
“You bastard!” Arthur yelled at Will. “Stop cheating!”
“You can’t cheat at this game, brotha.”
“You keep grabbing my steering wheel and forcing me off the track and blowing smoke in my face!” Arthur snapped as Merlin his best not to laugh at his frustration.
“Sore loser.” Will muttered as he passed his wheel to Merlin after he won his sixth game. “I need sleep.” He told them before he collapsed on Merlin’s bed and began to snore immediately.
“And you said I needed to know better people.” Arthur snarked. “He’s beyond the realm of weird, Merlin.”
“Oh, Will’s all right.” Merlin defended. “Just a little different is all.”
Arthur snorted as he chose Donkey Kong as his rider.
“Figures, you’d pick the ape.” Merlin teased.
“Says the man who picks the princess.” Arthur shot back.
Merlin grinned. “You know I’m gonna kick your arse, right?” He asked picking the track.
“Wanna make a bet on that?” Arthur challenged.
“Oh Arthur if I did that I’d be like taking candy from a very stupid, spoiled baby.”
“Oi!’ Arthur said laughing. “Be nice to your boyfriend, I’m the one who decides whether or not you get any tonight…or ever.”
“You’re not getting any tonight.” Will’s voice said blearily from the bed. “I don’t want to hear my ex shaggin another bloke thanks.”
Merlin snorted. “As if you have any say in what goes on in my love life, you berk. Go back to sleep before I kick you out.”
“Craaanky.” Will mumbled before conking out again.
Arthur had a strange…almost pained look on his face. “You and Will…” He trailed off.
“Don’t worry.” Merlin said shortly. “It’s over.”
Sensing Merlin didn’t want to talk about it Arthur said,
“The bet, then?”
Merlin grinned, dark mood forgotten. “Loser is the winner’s slave for a week.”
“Kinky.” Arthur said with a smirk. “I’ll take that bet.”
15 minutes. and seven straight victories for Merlin later, Merlin is doing a victory dance and Arthur’s glaring at him, extremely put out.
“I warned you!” Merlin sang, laughingly.
“You’re a bastard, Emrys.” Arthur told him. “A complete and total bastard.”
“Ah ah. That’s Master Emrys to you, slave.”
“Piss off!” Arthur said, though his laughter ruined the effect of the words.
Merlin grinned as he plopped down next to Arthur on the floor.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.” He said before he broke off into laughter again.
“Oh my God.” Arthur said. “Are you on a contact high?”
“I think I might be.” Merlin said, off-handedly. “No big deal. The first time Will and I tried it I couldn’t walk straight for six hours.”
Arthur laughed and pulled Merlin into a headlock. “That’s not surprising.”
“Oi!” Merlin said, wiggling out of Arthur grip. “Abusive prat.”
“Oh you know you like it.” Arthur retorted.
“Hey, I have an idea.” Merlin said suddenly.
“Alert national security.” Arthur muttered.
“It’s not anything illegal.” Merlin said, glaring before an adorable smirk graced his lips and for some reason Arthur felt his breath catch in his throat.
“Let’s paint Will’s face.” Merlin said, in a voice of an evil overlord.
Arthur grinned, widely. “Yes, Master. Whatever you say.”
An hour later, in which three paint wars erupted, Merlin and Arthur painted each other almost more than they had Will, their masterpiece was finished.
“Now, that is art.” Arthur said proudly, looking down at their collage.
“At least when I call him dickhead, it’ll be closer to the truth.” Merlin said, gazing at the penis he had drawn on Will’s cheek with pink paint.
Arthur grinned. “You certainly drew it well.”
“I’m an expert on them.” Merlin proclaimed, eyes moving to the rainbow he and Arthur both work on. It started at one ear and ran over his face all the way to the other.
“I just bet you are.” Arthur said, touching up the stars and hearts that were scattered across Will’s forehead.
Merlin put another coat of neon green onto Will’s eyebrows before adding another layer of purple to his nose.
The boys both stood back and admired their work before Merlin said, barely containing his mirth,
“We should have painted him black!”
They fell back onto Arthur bed trying to stifle their laughter in the sheets.
“I think you’re a little high, too.” Merlin remarked.
“You’re probably right.” Arthur said, sounding unconcerned.
“Have you ever done it before?” Merlin asked.
“Nope. Looks like I’m having a lot of firsts with you.” Arthur said lightly. “You’re a terrible influence on me.”
Merlin snorted. “Well, it looks like I’m going to be the first bloke you’ll be sleeping with as well. I refuse to share a bed with Will again. He kicks and punches. I had bruises for weeks.”
“I could make you sleep on the floor, you know.” Arthur remarked.
“Yeah, and how would that look in the morning, to Will?” Merlin asked. “If you want everyone to keep thinking we’re together that maroon can’t know we’re pretending. Half of the United Kingdom would find out by this time tomorrow.”
“Big mouth on him, then?” Arthur asked,
“That’s putting it mildly.” Merlin muttered. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to molest you.” He said with a grin.
“Fine.” Arthur said, with an air of suffering. “But if you try to cuddle me I’m kicking you off the bed.”
Merlin laughed. “You’re such a prat.” He told him, getting up and grabbing some sweat pants and a raggy white shirt. “I’m gonna grab a shower, before we crash.”
“Gonna think of me while you’re in there?” Arthur asked, slyly.
“Every minute.” Merlin said, rolling his eyes.
When Merlin returned 10 minutes later Arthur was all ready under the covers and apparently asleep.
Merlin slipped as quietly as he could under the sheets and made sure he was far away from Arthur as he could be.
He was dozing when Arthur said,
“Did you use my shampoo?”
Merlin turned over so he and Arthur were facing each other, laying on their sides.
“Maybe. I used all mine up last night and you never hide yours.”
“A mistake I’ll never make again.” Arthur said, yawning widely, before taking another sniff. “Looks like I’ll be hiding my soap too.”
Merlin grinned at him. “Good night, Sweet Cheeks.”
Arthur glared at him. “I swear to God, Merlin…” He threatened.
Merlin merely laughed into his pillow. “Oh, right you prefer Squishy Sex Muffin. I forgot.”
Arthur sighed, exasperated. “Idiot.”
“Prat.” Merlin shot back, fondly.
“So, what’s the story between you and Reefer Man?” Arthur asked after and moments silence.
Merlin’s good humour diminished slightly. “It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing. You got pretty pissed when he mentioned that you were his ex.”
“Yeah…we went out for a bit when I first told him I was gay.”
“So he was out before you?”
Merlin shook his head. “No. I told him first when I was 15. He was in the middle of a hippie faze so I thought it would be a good time.” He explained. “A week later he decided he was gay too.’
“But…was it just another two week thing?”
“We dated for almost six months before he decided he was done being gay and moved on to chasing after every girl on the swim team.”
Arthur winced. “Ouch. That must have hurt.”
Merlin shrugged. “I guess. I mean…I should have expected it. But he was going on six months, you know? I thought, stupidly, that he was being serious about it. That is wasn’t just some fake persona he had taken on.”
“You weren’t stupid, Merlin. He was.”
“Maybe. And…he never really understood the reason I was so mad at him. Why I still get angry when he brings it up.”
“Why do you?” Arthur asked, softly.
Merlin sighed. “I’m gay. I always have been and I always will be. I can’t just decide to turn it off like Will could. He never got that. I doubt he ever will.”
“Have you ever told him that?”
“Many times.” Merlin said. “He’s admitted to being bi, so he sometimes tries to re-start things between us. We fight about it a lot.”
“Lucky for you, you have me now, right?” Arthur asked with a smirk.
Merlin laughed. “I thank the stars everyday, Arthur.”
“You’re…” Arthur trailed off, uncertain before he continued. “You’re not angry with me, are you?”
“Where the hell did you get that idea?” Merlin asked.
“Well with this whole thing we’re doing. I’m pretending to be gay, yeah? Now, I’m wondering if you’re pissed at me for making you do this….Look you know what? Don’t answer that.” Arthur rambled before Merlin could speak. “You must be. We should stop. I don’t want you to end up hating me over something so stup-”
“Arthur!” Merlin said putting a hand on the blonde man’s mouth to shut him up. “Enough, okay? I’m not pissed at you. Will played me. You’re not doing that at all. I know where you really stand, yeah? So, calm down. And I could never hate you. You entertain me far too much for that.”
“Oh.” Arthur said. “Well, all right then.”
“Yes, you giant pansy. Honestly. I thought I was the gay one here.”
Arthur laughed and pushed an hand into Merlin’s hair to shake him a bit.
“I hate you sometimes, Emrys. You’re such a-”
“Bastard. I know.” Merlin finished.
“As long as you do.” Arthur said, rubbing Merlin’s head affectionately.
“So can we sleep now, or do you want more of my life story?’ Merlin asked, unconsciously leaning into Arthur’s hand.
“God forbid I deprive you of your beauty sleep.” Arthur said dryly, removing his fingers from Merlin’s hair.
The other boy laughed. “Good night, Arthur.”
“Night.” He grunted turning around to face away from Merlin.
It turns out, Merlin discovers at three in the morning, that Arthur is the snuggler in the relationship. He awoke spooned against Arthur’s front with the other man’s arm wrapped around his waist, holding him close. His nose was buried in the back of Merlin’s neck and tickled his hair every time Arthur breathed out.
All though Merlin had never felt more content and warm before, he knew Arthur would shit a brick if he woke up to find them like this, so he tried to shift out of his grip. Unfortunately, every time Merlin tried to reposition himself, Arthur would mumbled in his sleep and pull him back, managing to sound like the arrogant prat he was even in sleep.
“All right, then.” Merlin said out loud. “Have it your way, Your Highness.” He told him giving up.
It’ll be fine. Merlin said to himself as he was lulled into sleep by Arthur’s comfortable warmth.
He fell into his dreams with the slightly disconcerting thought that this was probably never going to happen again…
Merlin was half way through his mind numbing BioChem class when he received a text from Arthur.
There is a white bloke with dreadlocks setting up a telly in our room. WTF? And should I call 999?
He stared at the words disbelievingly and then cursed when he realized he missed an important note on cell metabolism. Hastily, Merlin scribbled down the notes from the girl next to him and was about to text Arthur back when another message came through.
Now he’s offering me a joint and talking about black rights. A little help, Emrys.
Not two seconds after Arthur’s second text one more came and Merlin groaned as he read it.
Merlin my brotha! It’s Will, man! Ur BF is fcking HOT! I think he’s scared of me tho. Lookin at me like im mental.
“Shit.” Merlin muttered. He’d have to get the notes later. This was an emergency. “Er…excuse me…” He mumbled to the people in his row as he stumbled his was out.
Merlin texted Arthur not to worry and that he was on the way before he sent a message to Will to not give Arthur drugs and to stop scaring strangers.
He’s half way through his dash across campus when he runs into Lance and Gwen on their way to class.
“All right, Merlin?” Lance asked as Merlin huffed and panted, trying to catch his breath.
“Fine.” Merlin gasped. “Just gotta save Arthur from The Renny.”
Gwen blanched. “Oh God. What is he this week?” She asked as Lance looked confusedly between them.
“He thinks he black.” Merlin groaned. “I’m sorry, Gwen. It was only a matter of time before he did it.”
Gwen merely laughed. “Oh, it’s okay Merlin. He doesn’t really mean anything by it. Besides this time next week he’ll probably think he’s Japanese.”
“God help us.” Merlin said. “Gotta go now. Fuck knows what he’s going to say to Arthur.”
“Who is this guy?” Lance asked. “A friend from back home?”
“Gwen’ll explain.” Merlin called as he ran off. “But only if you want nightmares for the next two weeks!”
After five more minutes of near death crashes and a bunch of pissed off people, Merlin was opening the door to his dorm room and was hit with an overpowering wave of smoke.
“Will!” He coughed. “What the hell?! You can’t bloody smoke in here!” Merlin wheezed as he slammed the door shut.
“Try telling him that.” Arthur said, dryly with one of Merlin’s medical masks over his face.
“Merlin!” Will cried as he tackled his friend. “How the hell are ya, brotha?”
“Will, for God’s sake!” Merlin said, trying to escape Will’s death grip. “What are you even doing here?”
“Can’t a bloke come visit his mate at school?” He asked, throwing a dreadlock behind his shoulder.
“How the fuck did you get dreadlocks so fast?” Merlin asked, ignoring Will's bull shit answer.
“Remember Cassie Adams from down the road? She’s workin in a hair studio now. She gave me these extension things and I made them into dreadlocks. Righteous, eh?”
“Oh my God.” Merlin moaned as he grabbed the joint out of Will’s limp grip. “You’ve seriously lost it this time.” He told his stoned friend as he chucked it into a cup of dirty water that housed his paint brushes.
“This time?” Arthur asked, removing the mask and mussing up his hair in the process. “You mean he’s done this before?”
“Will’s been going though and identity crisis since he was 13. He re-images himself about every two weeks. I don’t even remember what he actually looks like.”
Arthur’s eyebrows rose and they watched as Will went back to fiddling with the telly he brought with him.
“Is there any reason for it? Or is he just insane?” Arthur asked.
“Er…well…his dad died when he was 13. We think that’s what started it.”
Arthur nodded and looked sympathetic when Will cursed as he shocked himself on some wires.
Merlin sighed and went to dig out his First Aid kit. “So, what’s with the T.V, then?” Merlin asked Will as he chucked the boy some Solarcaine for the burn.
“Gotta job as an installer. We gotta surplus of tellies and my boss gave me a couple cheap. Figured you’d want one. Brought your Wii, too. I know you’d be jonesin for it.”
Merlin smiled at his friend. “Thanks, mate. I appreciate it.”
“Figures you’re a video game addict.” Arthur said with a smirk.
“Oh don’t worry.” Merlin said, threading their fingers together. “I’ll have you the same way in no time.”
Arthur snorted. “You can try.”
“Oh I will.” Merlin said, voice full of confidence.
“Ah, young love.” Will said with a hand over his heart. “Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt the sun doth move, Doubt truth to be a liar but never doubt thy love.”
Merlin and Arthur both turned their heads to look at Will.
“Shakespeare, Will?” Merlin asked. “Really?”
Will shrugged. “He was God last week. Besides, white girls dig that shit.”
“Oh my God.” Merlin groaned as he hid his face in Arthur shoulder.
He felt Arthur chuckle as his hand ruffled Merlin’s hair.
“Chill, Merlin.” Will said, happily. “Soon, you’ll be kickin your boyfriend’s sweet ass at Mario Cart. Now his arse will be sore for a different reason.” He cackled at his horrible crack.
Arthur looked mildly confused for a moment until the joke dawn on him.
“You’re a filthy minded bastard, aren’t you?” Arthur asked as Merlin cursed Will’s existence. “I wondered where Merlin learned it all from.”
“Oi, I’m not as bad as he is.” Merlin argued.
“No one is as bad as I am.” Will said smugly.
“Thank God for that. One dirty minded Renny is enough.” Merlin said.
“Renny?” Arthur asked.
“Short for Renaissance Man. His nickname.” Merlin explained.
“Which I hate, by the way.” Will reminded him as he began to hook Merlin’s Wii to the T.V.
“I know.” Merlin said with a grin as Will stood dusting his hands off.
“Careful, Magic Man, or else I’ll unhook your precious Wii and throw it out the window.”
“Magic Man?” Arthur asked, clearly intrigued.
“Don’t ask.” Merlin said as he glared at Will. “And you shut up. I told you never to call me that.”
“Fine, fine, don’t get all in my face, man.” Will told him waving a hand. “I was only kiddin.” He said as he looked around the room.
Will’s face became curious, then confused, then slowly disgusted before he blurted out;
“Jesus Christ, what the fuck is with your room?”
Will decided that he wanted to stay and play the Wii. (And smoke a bit more)
“For God’s sake!” Arthur snapped during the fifth round of Mario Kart. “How much of that shit are you going to smoke? I can barely breath over here.”
“You’re just pissed cause you keep losing.” Will told him. “You’re man is a little bit up tight, you know that?” He asked, turning to face Merlin who was passing Arthur another one of his medical masks.
“Shut up, Will.” Merlin said. “Learn to play nice with the other children.”
“Whatever, Dad.” Will replied with a long drag on his joint.
“You bastard!” Arthur yelled at Will. “Stop cheating!”
“You can’t cheat at this game, brotha.”
“You keep grabbing my steering wheel and forcing me off the track and blowing smoke in my face!” Arthur snapped as Merlin his best not to laugh at his frustration.
“Sore loser.” Will muttered as he passed his wheel to Merlin after he won his sixth game. “I need sleep.” He told them before he collapsed on Merlin’s bed and began to snore immediately.
“And you said I needed to know better people.” Arthur snarked. “He’s beyond the realm of weird, Merlin.”
“Oh, Will’s all right.” Merlin defended. “Just a little different is all.”
Arthur snorted as he chose Donkey Kong as his rider.
“Figures, you’d pick the ape.” Merlin teased.
“Says the man who picks the princess.” Arthur shot back.
Merlin grinned. “You know I’m gonna kick your arse, right?” He asked picking the track.
“Wanna make a bet on that?” Arthur challenged.
“Oh Arthur if I did that I’d be like taking candy from a very stupid, spoiled baby.”
“Oi!’ Arthur said laughing. “Be nice to your boyfriend, I’m the one who decides whether or not you get any tonight…or ever.”
“You’re not getting any tonight.” Will’s voice said blearily from the bed. “I don’t want to hear my ex shaggin another bloke thanks.”
Merlin snorted. “As if you have any say in what goes on in my love life, you berk. Go back to sleep before I kick you out.”
“Craaanky.” Will mumbled before conking out again.
Arthur had a strange…almost pained look on his face. “You and Will…” He trailed off.
“Don’t worry.” Merlin said shortly. “It’s over.”
Sensing Merlin didn’t want to talk about it Arthur said,
“The bet, then?”
Merlin grinned, dark mood forgotten. “Loser is the winner’s slave for a week.”
“Kinky.” Arthur said with a smirk. “I’ll take that bet.”
15 minutes. and seven straight victories for Merlin later, Merlin is doing a victory dance and Arthur’s glaring at him, extremely put out.
“I warned you!” Merlin sang, laughingly.
“You’re a bastard, Emrys.” Arthur told him. “A complete and total bastard.”
“Ah ah. That’s Master Emrys to you, slave.”
“Piss off!” Arthur said, though his laughter ruined the effect of the words.
Merlin grinned as he plopped down next to Arthur on the floor.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.” He said before he broke off into laughter again.
“Oh my God.” Arthur said. “Are you on a contact high?”
“I think I might be.” Merlin said, off-handedly. “No big deal. The first time Will and I tried it I couldn’t walk straight for six hours.”
Arthur laughed and pulled Merlin into a headlock. “That’s not surprising.”
“Oi!” Merlin said, wiggling out of Arthur grip. “Abusive prat.”
“Oh you know you like it.” Arthur retorted.
“Hey, I have an idea.” Merlin said suddenly.
“Alert national security.” Arthur muttered.
“It’s not anything illegal.” Merlin said, glaring before an adorable smirk graced his lips and for some reason Arthur felt his breath catch in his throat.
“Let’s paint Will’s face.” Merlin said, in a voice of an evil overlord.
Arthur grinned, widely. “Yes, Master. Whatever you say.”
An hour later, in which three paint wars erupted, Merlin and Arthur painted each other almost more than they had Will, their masterpiece was finished.
“Now, that is art.” Arthur said proudly, looking down at their collage.
“At least when I call him dickhead, it’ll be closer to the truth.” Merlin said, gazing at the penis he had drawn on Will’s cheek with pink paint.
Arthur grinned. “You certainly drew it well.”
“I’m an expert on them.” Merlin proclaimed, eyes moving to the rainbow he and Arthur both work on. It started at one ear and ran over his face all the way to the other.
“I just bet you are.” Arthur said, touching up the stars and hearts that were scattered across Will’s forehead.
Merlin put another coat of neon green onto Will’s eyebrows before adding another layer of purple to his nose.
The boys both stood back and admired their work before Merlin said, barely containing his mirth,
“We should have painted him black!”
They fell back onto Arthur bed trying to stifle their laughter in the sheets.
“I think you’re a little high, too.” Merlin remarked.
“You’re probably right.” Arthur said, sounding unconcerned.
“Have you ever done it before?” Merlin asked.
“Nope. Looks like I’m having a lot of firsts with you.” Arthur said lightly. “You’re a terrible influence on me.”
Merlin snorted. “Well, it looks like I’m going to be the first bloke you’ll be sleeping with as well. I refuse to share a bed with Will again. He kicks and punches. I had bruises for weeks.”
“I could make you sleep on the floor, you know.” Arthur remarked.
“Yeah, and how would that look in the morning, to Will?” Merlin asked. “If you want everyone to keep thinking we’re together that maroon can’t know we’re pretending. Half of the United Kingdom would find out by this time tomorrow.”
“Big mouth on him, then?” Arthur asked,
“That’s putting it mildly.” Merlin muttered. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to molest you.” He said with a grin.
“Fine.” Arthur said, with an air of suffering. “But if you try to cuddle me I’m kicking you off the bed.”
Merlin laughed. “You’re such a prat.” He told him, getting up and grabbing some sweat pants and a raggy white shirt. “I’m gonna grab a shower, before we crash.”
“Gonna think of me while you’re in there?” Arthur asked, slyly.
“Every minute.” Merlin said, rolling his eyes.
When Merlin returned 10 minutes later Arthur was all ready under the covers and apparently asleep.
Merlin slipped as quietly as he could under the sheets and made sure he was far away from Arthur as he could be.
He was dozing when Arthur said,
“Did you use my shampoo?”
Merlin turned over so he and Arthur were facing each other, laying on their sides.
“Maybe. I used all mine up last night and you never hide yours.”
“A mistake I’ll never make again.” Arthur said, yawning widely, before taking another sniff. “Looks like I’ll be hiding my soap too.”
Merlin grinned at him. “Good night, Sweet Cheeks.”
Arthur glared at him. “I swear to God, Merlin…” He threatened.
Merlin merely laughed into his pillow. “Oh, right you prefer Squishy Sex Muffin. I forgot.”
Arthur sighed, exasperated. “Idiot.”
“Prat.” Merlin shot back, fondly.
“So, what’s the story between you and Reefer Man?” Arthur asked after and moments silence.
Merlin’s good humour diminished slightly. “It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing. You got pretty pissed when he mentioned that you were his ex.”
“Yeah…we went out for a bit when I first told him I was gay.”
“So he was out before you?”
Merlin shook his head. “No. I told him first when I was 15. He was in the middle of a hippie faze so I thought it would be a good time.” He explained. “A week later he decided he was gay too.’
“But…was it just another two week thing?”
“We dated for almost six months before he decided he was done being gay and moved on to chasing after every girl on the swim team.”
Arthur winced. “Ouch. That must have hurt.”
Merlin shrugged. “I guess. I mean…I should have expected it. But he was going on six months, you know? I thought, stupidly, that he was being serious about it. That is wasn’t just some fake persona he had taken on.”
“You weren’t stupid, Merlin. He was.”
“Maybe. And…he never really understood the reason I was so mad at him. Why I still get angry when he brings it up.”
“Why do you?” Arthur asked, softly.
Merlin sighed. “I’m gay. I always have been and I always will be. I can’t just decide to turn it off like Will could. He never got that. I doubt he ever will.”
“Have you ever told him that?”
“Many times.” Merlin said. “He’s admitted to being bi, so he sometimes tries to re-start things between us. We fight about it a lot.”
“Lucky for you, you have me now, right?” Arthur asked with a smirk.
Merlin laughed. “I thank the stars everyday, Arthur.”
“You’re…” Arthur trailed off, uncertain before he continued. “You’re not angry with me, are you?”
“Where the hell did you get that idea?” Merlin asked.
“Well with this whole thing we’re doing. I’m pretending to be gay, yeah? Now, I’m wondering if you’re pissed at me for making you do this….Look you know what? Don’t answer that.” Arthur rambled before Merlin could speak. “You must be. We should stop. I don’t want you to end up hating me over something so stup-”
“Arthur!” Merlin said putting a hand on the blonde man’s mouth to shut him up. “Enough, okay? I’m not pissed at you. Will played me. You’re not doing that at all. I know where you really stand, yeah? So, calm down. And I could never hate you. You entertain me far too much for that.”
“Oh.” Arthur said. “Well, all right then.”
“Yes, you giant pansy. Honestly. I thought I was the gay one here.”
Arthur laughed and pushed an hand into Merlin’s hair to shake him a bit.
“I hate you sometimes, Emrys. You’re such a-”
“Bastard. I know.” Merlin finished.
“As long as you do.” Arthur said, rubbing Merlin’s head affectionately.
“So can we sleep now, or do you want more of my life story?’ Merlin asked, unconsciously leaning into Arthur’s hand.
“God forbid I deprive you of your beauty sleep.” Arthur said dryly, removing his fingers from Merlin’s hair.
The other boy laughed. “Good night, Arthur.”
“Night.” He grunted turning around to face away from Merlin.
It turns out, Merlin discovers at three in the morning, that Arthur is the snuggler in the relationship. He awoke spooned against Arthur’s front with the other man’s arm wrapped around his waist, holding him close. His nose was buried in the back of Merlin’s neck and tickled his hair every time Arthur breathed out.
All though Merlin had never felt more content and warm before, he knew Arthur would shit a brick if he woke up to find them like this, so he tried to shift out of his grip. Unfortunately, every time Merlin tried to reposition himself, Arthur would mumbled in his sleep and pull him back, managing to sound like the arrogant prat he was even in sleep.
“All right, then.” Merlin said out loud. “Have it your way, Your Highness.” He told him giving up.
It’ll be fine. Merlin said to himself as he was lulled into sleep by Arthur’s comfortable warmth.
He fell into his dreams with the slightly disconcerting thought that this was probably never going to happen again…