There really are a number of people I shouldn't be friends with, even on facebook. One of them has really been stressing me out lately, texting me all the time, asking when we will hang out, pestering me. I don't want anything to do with her, basically, but she doesn't know that, and I don't want the drama that will come with trying, even in any ( Read more... )

I am getting a panicky feeling in my chest again. Baby is sneezing a LOT, like at least once an hour, unless she's asleep. There's no way we can take her to the vet again. She's still eating and acting normal and purring and lying with me..but she's sneezing a lot. I can't stand for her to be sick and there's nothing I can do about it. There are ( Read more... )

I thought that I was finished crying and being upset about Rocky..but yesterday morning Ray just had to lie next to me and listen as I cried and cried. I just hate this. How the FUCK CAN I LIVE WITH THIS UNTIL I DIE? Maybe my 12 years of smoking will have already ruined my lungs and I have cancer and don't know it and I am dying anyway. Because ( Read more... )

My OCD has gotten really bad since Baby has become a little sick. I hate to even say "sick" because it just brings up memories of Rocky and how quickly sickness turned to death. Her eye does seem to be watering less, and she only started making the weird sound while breathing asleep very briefly and it stopped before even a minute had gone by..but ( Read more... )

So Baby's eye had been watery for the past day or so. That's happened before, I suggested when my mom had money, to get her looked at. But then she started sneezing a bit, still not that big a deal..but then she was sleeping next to me at 2:30 a.m. or so, and I woke up to pee, and I noticed that she was making a sound while breathing in her sleep. ( Read more... )

Rocky died. I can't stop crying. I mean like my whole body is wrenching and I feel like I can't breathe ( Read more... )

I feel like I can't take this. Rocky stopped eating, and kept sitting by the dining room table, lethargic. My mom took him to the vet, spent basically her entire paycheque, got blood tests, and all they can tell us is he was dehydrated and is very anemic. They think it is probably lymphoma or a tumor. They can't know for sure unless they do an x- ( Read more... )

Not much to report, really..well, I went to The Cheesecake Factory for the first time. I would never have been able to afford it WHAT WITH MY ONLY INCOME TAKEN FROM ME BY OUR AWESOME GOVERNOR, but my mother was very generous. She had a few jobs recently and even though she's very behind on pretty much all her bills, she gave me some money because ( Read more... )

So the realtor is bringing people here to look at the house at fucking 9:45 am. Seriously? Who has to go and look at a house THAT EARLY? Don't these people have jobs? Ridiculous. So we're going crazy trying to clean. I really hate vacuuming, I get so sweaty ( Read more... )

It seriously feels like a miracle has happened. I went into my therapist's office yesterday and she was like "I had to get your chart from the doctor's office..and look, it says here Emsam--approved for 6 months." I was like "That probably just means he approved it, not my insurance." She was like "But why would he have had your chart yesterday? ( Read more... )