(no subject)
Title: It's Only You, Beautiful (Chapter 9)
Pairing: Tony/Jesse
Rating: R
Summary: HS fic
Author's notes: See, this one didn't take that long. R&R, please?
Ch. 9 -
You two stay like that for a while longer, simply grasping at each other in desperation. His hands are at your back softly pulling the worn material into small balls, his head at the crook of your neck, just like yours was before in his, and you’re just holding him. Finally, his grip on you loosens and he manages to get enough control over himself again to pull away so that you’re both staring at each other.
A half smile forms on his thin lips as he questions you hesitantly, “Are you sure it’s going to be okay?” And though his tone is calm and cool, his eyes are telling a whole different story. One that is full of past demons and a sick anxiety.
You make up for his lack-luster smile with one of your own; all teeth and pink gums.
“Yeah I’m sure.”
There’s a warm feeling that settles in your stomach when Tony returns your smile, albeit not as scary because for a second there you probably looked like the Energizer bunny on crack.
He steps forward once again towards you and prods you in the stomach once more. “You ready to get rid of that…pouch you got there?” His eyes are dancing devilishly as he jabs at the lake’s direction with his index finger.
Snort at his reference to your stomach, a slight blush already highlighting your cheeks. You had been hoping he wouldn’t notice the extra pudginess that lay hidden in your cheeks and tummy for as long as you could remember.
“You’re just jealous that I’m not all skin and bones,” you tell him with a smirk, while kicking off your sneakers and socks. He takes your cue and starts to undress as well, starting with his shirt first. Your eyes divert somewhat politely from his body so that you’re not full out staring.
When you’ve finally stripped to your boxers, you turn to look at him, taking in his image and everything that he is. You’re not surprised to see his pale skin tinged with bruises and scars. Laughter builds up inside of you silently as you remember how you once thought he was an angel…your angel to be exact.
Tony’s paler than ever under the glaring sun and his eyes go to yours, scared of your judgment of him for the first time since you’ve known him. Swallow down heavy air, try hard not to blink, and say lightly, “Let’s go.”
The relief in him is evident in all his movements, the way his body releases its rigid structure and the calmness that sinks into him. His head bobs up and down twice before grabbing your arm that had been hanging by your side and dragging you down to the lake’s edge.
Here it’s a fight to see who will go in first. You remember the last time you had one of these…fights, it was with Craig. You had lost obviously, but Craig had been bigger and stronger, this time you had that advantage. With a half squeal Tony falls in, the water cascading around him from the impact. You laugh at the spot where you expect him to emerge but…no Tony.
“Tony?” You find yourself screaming his name out several times, panic filling you and causing you to jump into the water, ready to pull out a dead body. It’s cold and you understand the high squeal that Tony let out but that’s the last thing on your mind right now because there is no dead body, which could be better than nothing.
You stay underwater for as long as you can, forcing your eyes to open wide as to not miss a thing. Again you arise, your bones feel chilled and you’re ready to cry. Suddenly something surrounds you, cold arms and you breathe, for what seems the first time during the “event”, in relief.
Turn around in those arms to meet Tony’s grinning eyes and the smile that lights up his features.
“You’re an ass,” you tell him, frowning deeply and still trying to calm down your speeding heartbeat.
He pulls you closer until your forehead meets his and you know he can clearly feel the way you’re shaking right now, still recovering from your panic attack.
His lips are mere centimeters away now and you can feel his warm breath hitting your own lips as he whispers, “And you’re gullible, sweetly gullible though.”
You reach forward with your mouth until you have successfully covered his mouth with yours with force hard enough to bruise. You feel his tongue fighting through your pursed lips and into your mouth to swipe forward into every nook and groove there. Your hands somehow find their way to his bleached hair, tugging gently and you jut your mouth impossibly closer to his finding that you can’t get enough.
It’s rushed but passionate and ardent, so much that it’s causing a stiffening feeling in your wet boxers. You feel his hand sliding down your body, following each slight curve making you shiver unintentionally and hold your breath. With every movement, his hand seems to caress your body almost lovingly and you find yourself wondering if you really deserve any of this.
When his hand finally reaches your hard-on, you find all thoughts disappearing because it doesn’t matter whether you deserve it or not. It’s happening and you better take full advantage of it while it lasts. Bite down on his bottom lip gently, finding it hard to urge your lungs to breathe so that you won’t suddenly past out or anything.
You can feel him start to move up and down your shaft, causing you to cry out and tighten your grip on his hair. He continues the action and pulls himself forward to kiss you but you can’t do anything at this point except leave your mouth wide open, drawing in shaky breaths.
He’s starting to move faster now, and you’re gasping into his mouth, holding onto him as if you’d die if you let go. His other hand is at your ass, squeezing the pliable flesh there and at this new sensation you moan out once more before releasing heavily.
You shake lightly, feeling as if you’re being electrocuted from the vibrations that are shooting down your body now.
Tony’s mouth leaves yours to go to your ear and murmur, “Feel better?”
Unable to respond you nod weakly, feeling almost pathetic for being so put out by a simple hand job. Pulling himself away from your warm body, Tony gets out of the lake to stare down at you his eyebrows arching. You know he means for you to get out as well but it seems physically impossible to you. Your legs feel like your Aunt Jill’s strawberry jello, as well as your arms. Meet his eyes with a hopeless glance and hear his snicker echo in your ears.
“Don’t wanna come up? Ok, stay there, I’m going inside,” he tells you, beginning to turn away. You know that he already knows your little dilemma but he’s just being annoying, you’ve grown to understand him a bit.
“Tooooneeey,” you whine out, raising your hand out of the water and towards him.
Despite his initial response he does turn back to wrap his fingers around your own and pull you out, even though he does continue with the odd chuckle here and there.
“I’m going to get something eat,” he announces to you.
You reach forward and squeeze his hand, filling the rigid bone structure resting just beneath the skin.
“Good, you need some fat to wrap around your bones anyway,” you tell him jokingly.
“How are chips and cookies?”
“Mm, good enough.”
“Sure beats the steak I had planned.” The tone he takes is remorseful sounding. Like he’s mourning the death of some relative…which in this case are the dead cows who now gave up their lives for nothing.
Glance up at him once more and smile, “It’s better this way. I’m vegetarian.”
Tony stops in mid step and turns to you, “No you’re not. I saw you eating chicken just the other day.”
Frown at him and say, “Way to ruin my cheer-you-up scheme. Asshole.”
His head tilts back a bit as he laughs vigorously and when he looks at you, his eyes sparkle again and you’re grateful.
“I’ll go get the food. You just…wait out here.”
You watch as he disappears back into the cabin and you’re beginning to wonder if he’s a klutz when you hear the noises of him banging into stuff in there, accompanied by a heartfelt shit or fuck.
When he returns, there’s a hoard of junk food piled in his hands.
“So what will it be Mr. Lacey, Barbeque or Vinegar?” he asks you with a waiter’s politeness and a touch of gusto in his voice.
Burst out laughing and fall to the grassy land till you reach a sitting position. Tony follows your example and then drops the food in front of you both.
“Vinegar always,” you tell him, nodding as you tear open the bag of potato chips.
You can hardly finish swallowing the handful of chips in your mouth before he’s on you again like a puppy dog, licking at your lips and telling you that you taste salty. The chips lay forgotten as he climbs onto you, sliding in between your legs as the both of you battle each other…with your tongues. You can feel Tony’s hardness start to press against your naked stomach, causing you to moan throatily.
Moving back from you, which brings out noises of disappointment from you, Tony starts to drag your boxers down your legs. Your heart feels like it’s in your throat now and you’re breathing in shallowly, trying your best to calm yourself down for the seemingly inevitable.
You’re not sure how Tony was able to produce the condom and bottle of lube so fast and you’re thinking that maybe he just carries them around with him. You watch from wide eyes as he covers himself up with the slimy substance. It feels to you like you’re watching the whole thing through somebody else’s eyes, like seeing some cheap porno movie, except that you’ve never watched gay erotica, and the more obvious…this is your movie that means.
Tony finishes his task before placing all attention on you which means picking up your feet to rest them on his shoulders and going forward to kiss you once more softly. Maybe he’s able to see the fear in your eyes and the realization that comes to you. You’re not ready for this, it’s all happening too soon you know. You can feel him at your opening, his eyes are open still, it feels like he’s pleading silently with you for something you’re not ready for. And suddenly it strikes you.
He knows you’re not ready too.
You can feel him beginning to push in, whispering coos softly under his breath, probably meaning to sooth you. It hurts, even with the lube, and it doesn’t…just doesn’t feel right.
“S-stop,” you whimper out, tears starting to pool around in your eyes and you know that from now on, you’d be a hypocrite to make fun of girls who cried after, during, or before sex.
You’re almost scared that Tony will just continue with the whole act and it frightens you more than anything. But he doesn’t, almost immediately he pulls out with a slight popping noise and draws you into his arms, rocking you back and forth like you’re a baby again. He’s mumbling apologies one after another into your ear while you let him, almost frozen without knowing why.
Pairing: Tony/Jesse
Rating: R
Summary: HS fic
Author's notes: See, this one didn't take that long. R&R, please?
Ch. 9 -
You two stay like that for a while longer, simply grasping at each other in desperation. His hands are at your back softly pulling the worn material into small balls, his head at the crook of your neck, just like yours was before in his, and you’re just holding him. Finally, his grip on you loosens and he manages to get enough control over himself again to pull away so that you’re both staring at each other.
A half smile forms on his thin lips as he questions you hesitantly, “Are you sure it’s going to be okay?” And though his tone is calm and cool, his eyes are telling a whole different story. One that is full of past demons and a sick anxiety.
You make up for his lack-luster smile with one of your own; all teeth and pink gums.
“Yeah I’m sure.”
There’s a warm feeling that settles in your stomach when Tony returns your smile, albeit not as scary because for a second there you probably looked like the Energizer bunny on crack.
He steps forward once again towards you and prods you in the stomach once more. “You ready to get rid of that…pouch you got there?” His eyes are dancing devilishly as he jabs at the lake’s direction with his index finger.
Snort at his reference to your stomach, a slight blush already highlighting your cheeks. You had been hoping he wouldn’t notice the extra pudginess that lay hidden in your cheeks and tummy for as long as you could remember.
“You’re just jealous that I’m not all skin and bones,” you tell him with a smirk, while kicking off your sneakers and socks. He takes your cue and starts to undress as well, starting with his shirt first. Your eyes divert somewhat politely from his body so that you’re not full out staring.
When you’ve finally stripped to your boxers, you turn to look at him, taking in his image and everything that he is. You’re not surprised to see his pale skin tinged with bruises and scars. Laughter builds up inside of you silently as you remember how you once thought he was an angel…your angel to be exact.
Tony’s paler than ever under the glaring sun and his eyes go to yours, scared of your judgment of him for the first time since you’ve known him. Swallow down heavy air, try hard not to blink, and say lightly, “Let’s go.”
The relief in him is evident in all his movements, the way his body releases its rigid structure and the calmness that sinks into him. His head bobs up and down twice before grabbing your arm that had been hanging by your side and dragging you down to the lake’s edge.
Here it’s a fight to see who will go in first. You remember the last time you had one of these…fights, it was with Craig. You had lost obviously, but Craig had been bigger and stronger, this time you had that advantage. With a half squeal Tony falls in, the water cascading around him from the impact. You laugh at the spot where you expect him to emerge but…no Tony.
“Tony?” You find yourself screaming his name out several times, panic filling you and causing you to jump into the water, ready to pull out a dead body. It’s cold and you understand the high squeal that Tony let out but that’s the last thing on your mind right now because there is no dead body, which could be better than nothing.
You stay underwater for as long as you can, forcing your eyes to open wide as to not miss a thing. Again you arise, your bones feel chilled and you’re ready to cry. Suddenly something surrounds you, cold arms and you breathe, for what seems the first time during the “event”, in relief.
Turn around in those arms to meet Tony’s grinning eyes and the smile that lights up his features.
“You’re an ass,” you tell him, frowning deeply and still trying to calm down your speeding heartbeat.
He pulls you closer until your forehead meets his and you know he can clearly feel the way you’re shaking right now, still recovering from your panic attack.
His lips are mere centimeters away now and you can feel his warm breath hitting your own lips as he whispers, “And you’re gullible, sweetly gullible though.”
You reach forward with your mouth until you have successfully covered his mouth with yours with force hard enough to bruise. You feel his tongue fighting through your pursed lips and into your mouth to swipe forward into every nook and groove there. Your hands somehow find their way to his bleached hair, tugging gently and you jut your mouth impossibly closer to his finding that you can’t get enough.
It’s rushed but passionate and ardent, so much that it’s causing a stiffening feeling in your wet boxers. You feel his hand sliding down your body, following each slight curve making you shiver unintentionally and hold your breath. With every movement, his hand seems to caress your body almost lovingly and you find yourself wondering if you really deserve any of this.
When his hand finally reaches your hard-on, you find all thoughts disappearing because it doesn’t matter whether you deserve it or not. It’s happening and you better take full advantage of it while it lasts. Bite down on his bottom lip gently, finding it hard to urge your lungs to breathe so that you won’t suddenly past out or anything.
You can feel him start to move up and down your shaft, causing you to cry out and tighten your grip on his hair. He continues the action and pulls himself forward to kiss you but you can’t do anything at this point except leave your mouth wide open, drawing in shaky breaths.
He’s starting to move faster now, and you’re gasping into his mouth, holding onto him as if you’d die if you let go. His other hand is at your ass, squeezing the pliable flesh there and at this new sensation you moan out once more before releasing heavily.
You shake lightly, feeling as if you’re being electrocuted from the vibrations that are shooting down your body now.
Tony’s mouth leaves yours to go to your ear and murmur, “Feel better?”
Unable to respond you nod weakly, feeling almost pathetic for being so put out by a simple hand job. Pulling himself away from your warm body, Tony gets out of the lake to stare down at you his eyebrows arching. You know he means for you to get out as well but it seems physically impossible to you. Your legs feel like your Aunt Jill’s strawberry jello, as well as your arms. Meet his eyes with a hopeless glance and hear his snicker echo in your ears.
“Don’t wanna come up? Ok, stay there, I’m going inside,” he tells you, beginning to turn away. You know that he already knows your little dilemma but he’s just being annoying, you’ve grown to understand him a bit.
“Tooooneeey,” you whine out, raising your hand out of the water and towards him.
Despite his initial response he does turn back to wrap his fingers around your own and pull you out, even though he does continue with the odd chuckle here and there.
“I’m going to get something eat,” he announces to you.
You reach forward and squeeze his hand, filling the rigid bone structure resting just beneath the skin.
“Good, you need some fat to wrap around your bones anyway,” you tell him jokingly.
“How are chips and cookies?”
“Mm, good enough.”
“Sure beats the steak I had planned.” The tone he takes is remorseful sounding. Like he’s mourning the death of some relative…which in this case are the dead cows who now gave up their lives for nothing.
Glance up at him once more and smile, “It’s better this way. I’m vegetarian.”
Tony stops in mid step and turns to you, “No you’re not. I saw you eating chicken just the other day.”
Frown at him and say, “Way to ruin my cheer-you-up scheme. Asshole.”
His head tilts back a bit as he laughs vigorously and when he looks at you, his eyes sparkle again and you’re grateful.
“I’ll go get the food. You just…wait out here.”
You watch as he disappears back into the cabin and you’re beginning to wonder if he’s a klutz when you hear the noises of him banging into stuff in there, accompanied by a heartfelt shit or fuck.
When he returns, there’s a hoard of junk food piled in his hands.
“So what will it be Mr. Lacey, Barbeque or Vinegar?” he asks you with a waiter’s politeness and a touch of gusto in his voice.
Burst out laughing and fall to the grassy land till you reach a sitting position. Tony follows your example and then drops the food in front of you both.
“Vinegar always,” you tell him, nodding as you tear open the bag of potato chips.
You can hardly finish swallowing the handful of chips in your mouth before he’s on you again like a puppy dog, licking at your lips and telling you that you taste salty. The chips lay forgotten as he climbs onto you, sliding in between your legs as the both of you battle each other…with your tongues. You can feel Tony’s hardness start to press against your naked stomach, causing you to moan throatily.
Moving back from you, which brings out noises of disappointment from you, Tony starts to drag your boxers down your legs. Your heart feels like it’s in your throat now and you’re breathing in shallowly, trying your best to calm yourself down for the seemingly inevitable.
You’re not sure how Tony was able to produce the condom and bottle of lube so fast and you’re thinking that maybe he just carries them around with him. You watch from wide eyes as he covers himself up with the slimy substance. It feels to you like you’re watching the whole thing through somebody else’s eyes, like seeing some cheap porno movie, except that you’ve never watched gay erotica, and the more obvious…this is your movie that means.
Tony finishes his task before placing all attention on you which means picking up your feet to rest them on his shoulders and going forward to kiss you once more softly. Maybe he’s able to see the fear in your eyes and the realization that comes to you. You’re not ready for this, it’s all happening too soon you know. You can feel him at your opening, his eyes are open still, it feels like he’s pleading silently with you for something you’re not ready for. And suddenly it strikes you.
He knows you’re not ready too.
You can feel him beginning to push in, whispering coos softly under his breath, probably meaning to sooth you. It hurts, even with the lube, and it doesn’t…just doesn’t feel right.
“S-stop,” you whimper out, tears starting to pool around in your eyes and you know that from now on, you’d be a hypocrite to make fun of girls who cried after, during, or before sex.
You’re almost scared that Tony will just continue with the whole act and it frightens you more than anything. But he doesn’t, almost immediately he pulls out with a slight popping noise and draws you into his arms, rocking you back and forth like you’re a baby again. He’s mumbling apologies one after another into your ear while you let him, almost frozen without knowing why.