[emo] "absorb and swallow what's being pushed"

[glossing]

Bandom has made a lot of people on my flist very happy. I'm all for the happy. I just wish that there were room to disagree without being accused of Cheerio-pissing.

At the end of the day, it comes down to this: Like whatever you like. Please, though, pause for a moment before dismissing others' offense and attacking those who are offended

Comments

[kindkit]

I agree, and actually I think you're giving the "stagegay is just like slash" claim more credit than it deserves. Slash--even the crappy slash, even the slash that imposes heterocentric and sexist gender roles on same-sex relationships--at least does actually present same-sex desire that's meant to be read as real desire. It's not a masquerade of same-sex desire like stagegay seems to be. (I say "seems to be" because all I actually know about these bands is what I've read people saying they do.) Plus, I think there's a difference between pretending (but always in the assumption that your audience knows it's a pretense) to have same-sex desires oneself versus representing same-sex desires through explicitly fictional characters. Stagegay sounds less like slash to me than like (forgive the cliche) those young women who kiss each other to get attention from the men in the bar.

[alixtii]

Slash--even the crappy slash, even the slash that imposes heterocentric and sexist gender roles on same-sex relationships--at least does actually present same-sex desire that's meant to be read as real desire.

But my Michelle Trachtenberg/Summer Glau RPF fic isn't meant to be read as implying real desire on the part of the actual actors; it's a fictional performance for the benefit of myself and my flist and the participants of the 'thon for which it was written. So I'm not sure what you mean by "meant to be read as real desire" in a way that's not applicable to other forms of fictional performance (such as stagegay).

[some_stars]

While I disagree with you about several of these specifics--I have Problems with the stagegay but most of these groups *are* vocal about their support for gay rights and their antihomophobia and antimisogyny; I think it's two separate issues really--but I am in so, so, so much agreement with this:

I ask that I be allowed to judge the discourse emanating from that fandom and that, if it is offensive, I have a chance to say why I think so.Yes yes yes yes yes also YES. I am...surprised and taken off guard by how much fandom's general reaction to this has upset me. I think it's kind of the crystallization of some issues I've had for a long time, but...argh. Because, you know, I can be hugely in favor of breaking down gender roles and encouraging people to express themselves and explore their sexuality and be less anxious about strict labels...and at the same time, I can be angry that I'm now supposed to embrace every straight girl who likes kissing girls as my queer sisters. There is a difference between playing around with gay makeouts

[glossing]

Thanks so much for this comment - it's made me think *and* laugh, two of my favorite activities. I'll be back with real thoughts, if that's cool?

That does not make me an evil lesbian identity Nazi.
Their uniforms are heinous, for one thing.

[marginalia]

but seriously, it RULES to not have to think about what i'm going to wear in the morning.

...what? :D

[mizzmarvel]

I don't give a flying fig about bandom, so I really have little idea of what's going on, and I'm not asking you to clarify or explain it. I just want to say that I'm sorry you're upset. The Internet is a stupid and wonderful place at times like this.

[glossing]

Thanks, dearheart, *very* much.

The Internet is a stupid and wonderful place at times like this.
So very, very true. ♥

[glossing]

or both at once
It's really important for me to remember that. Thank you.

But I do know that that conversation, or at least what I saw of it,was amazingly productive.
I appreciate this perspective, too. I didn't get that reading, but I acknowledge that, before I stopped reading, I was reading through an emotionally-laden haze. That's never good.

You know, I think at this point I depend on you for clarity of thought and a nuanced perspective. Where do I send the paycheque?

[china_shop]

Thank you so much for this. I've missed all the debate (and most of bandom itself, since I filter ruthlessly), and the concept of/term stagegay isn't something I've come across previously, but I always find your theoryish posts interesting and thought-provoking, and your uneasiness with (? dislike of?) the vast majority of slash is challenging, too. In the good way -- like, a spur. So thank you.

[glossing]

Oh, thank you. To be honest, I got "stagegay" from a metafandom link, without reading the originating post, which was terrifically lazy of me.

And I've been overthinking slash for *far* too long. ;)