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AURORS CAUGHT IN COMPROMISING POSITION!
Severus Snape, former Death Eater and Hogwarts Professor and now ministry-approved Auror and his Auror collegue Hermione Granger were caught in a very delicate situation with an unknown person in a side alley of Cockspur street. Glover Hipworth, an innocent passer-by, told us:
"They were so closely entwined, it took me a while to see that there were in fact three bodies writhing against each other - it was obscene! Thank Merlin I had a Muggle camera with me, I *had* to take a photograph!"
Apparently sex in a dirty side alley of London does not seem to high ranking Aurors as an unseemly place to live out their excessive sexuality. Celebrity expert Rita Skeeter says:
"A threesome! In public! And with a Death Eater and a second man - it seems we underestimated Auror Granger, her private life and her boobs!"
Other voices demand that the "greasy git's" private life stay private. We apologise, but the Daily Prophet feels obliged to keep its readers informed first, best and with all the seedy details. And seedy they were all right, this time.
Sadly, Auror Granger could not be reached for an interview. Auror Snape told the Daily Prophet to "fuck the hell off."
Stay tuned for next week's special when Glover tells us the whole story!
Severus Snape, former Death Eater and Hogwarts Professor and now ministry-approved Auror and his Auror collegue Hermione Granger were caught in a very delicate situation with an unknown person in a side alley of Cockspur street. Glover Hipworth, an innocent passer-by, told us:
"They were so closely entwined, it took me a while to see that there were in fact three bodies writhing against each other - it was obscene! Thank Merlin I had a Muggle camera with me, I *had* to take a photograph!"
Apparently sex in a dirty side alley of London does not seem to high ranking Aurors as an unseemly place to live out their excessive sexuality. Celebrity expert Rita Skeeter says:
"A threesome! In public! And with a Death Eater and a second man - it seems we underestimated Auror Granger, her private life and her boobs!"
Other voices demand that the "greasy git's" private life stay private. We apologise, but the Daily Prophet feels obliged to keep its readers informed first, best and with all the seedy details. And seedy they were all right, this time.
Sadly, Auror Granger could not be reached for an interview. Auror Snape told the Daily Prophet to "fuck the hell off."
Stay tuned for next week's special when Glover tells us the whole story!