The One Adventure They Could Never Have (1/9?)

[glowsticklilz]

Title: The One Adventure They Could Never Have (1/9?)
Author: glowsticklilz
Character/Pairing: Human!Ten/Rose.
Rating: PG-13 for now, though later chapters will have a higher rating.
Summary: Rose and her new Doctor slowly adjust to their new life.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who is not mine. All I own are my words.
Author's Notes: This chapter contains

Comments

[kynaii]

Squints at the print.
Can you make it a teensy tiny bit bigger?

[glowsticklilz]

I'm working on it, I'm not too accustomed to the technical side of LJ.
Though I am getting there.

[glowsticklilz]

Thanks for the comment.

Yes, I am just working on making the font bigger. I'm a little rusty to the technical side of LJ, but I hope to sort that out in just a mo.

Well I didn't really fill in the gap too much there, just for focus on the story. In my head, Pete would've been stalking the Earth pretty much if he is head of Torchwood (which he is in my story), and in my head he would have seen Darleg Ulv Stranden as the first place to go.
I think I'll clear up that point in the next chapter when him and Jackie have more time to talk.

But thank you once again for taking an interest.
Criticism can only make you a better writer really.

[tookieknits]

A very good start. Looks like this'll be a great read.

I'll echo the "make the font bigger, please?" requests.

Also, one thing that jumped at me in few spots - its "accept" not "except" - one accepts a person or a situation.
Except is something out of the norm - like "i before e except after c".

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to keeping up with this.

[glowsticklilz]

Thank you very much.
I'm working on the font.

Thanks for pointing that out, I'm a little shocked at myself really, I'm an A grade student on an English course, my teacher would have a fit.

I hope you do continue to read, and can only say as the writer, that it gets better. :D

[midnightzstorm]

Interesting beginning. Except there were a few problems I had.... How did Pete get to the beach so quickly? Jackie said he was in the nursery which is in London. Also, when you use quote, you need punctuation when you close the quotes. For instance:

"Rose, sweetheart" her Mum said, taking the shoulder the Doctor had just held."We have to go now"

Should be:

"Rose, sweetheart," her Mum said, taking the shoulder the Doctor had just held."We have to go now."

Grammar mistakes, makes it hard for me to see the quality of the story itself, which is very good.

[glowsticklilz]

Thanks for reading. Much appreciated.

And I also thank you for the advice. I'll just fix that little grammar mistake there, and watch out for that in future chapters too.

In response to the question about Pete being in the nursery, I'm ignoring cannon just slightly on that one and only point.
And how he got there so quick, is quickly answered in the next chapter, which is ready to go tomorrow morning. So I hope you come back to read that.

Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

[wiggiemomsi]

I've read EVER so many Rose/Ten II stories, and this one has great promise. I'm liking it that Rose isn't lashing out at poor Ten II or ignoring him, etc. And thank goodness for the piece of TARDIS coral!

Looking forward to your next posting!

*Hugs*

[glowsticklilz]

Thanks alot.
That really did put a smile on my face. :D

I'm just posting the second chapter now.
Hope you enjoy.