(no subject)
am dying for something, but i have no idea what. who. food or person or mysterious climax... am very anxious. have chewed off all fingernails except right hand pinky, which grew freakishly fast and looks acrylic. am writing a song for JRM. am a big loser. queen of the dork revolution. viva la geek. yes. that.
saw pirates of the carribean twice. would like very much to have sex with johnny depp. very very much.
and there in lies what i believe to be the heart of the matter.
girlboys.
i saw jakub on sunday, we met at polcari's when i got back from plymouth, he was already creeping into the bag one long island ice tea at a time. two beers later we went back to his house to watch his czecoslovakian bootleg chigaco dvd. he was gloating about it ALL NIGHT. congratulations. no oe cares, jakub. he drove three hours to conneticut and fooled around with some girl to get it. his nipples were still sore from some unnecessary biting, so i pinched them at every opportune moment.
at one point, jarred was mentioned. i said he should breed for the greater good of the human race, because he is just so pretty. jakub went on about how he isn't and how he [jakub] is better looking, which he most certainly is not, and talked some shit.
i was not down. though shalt not talk shit about jarred.
so we bitched back and forth, and then jakub announced i was a lesbian. he gave some rambling six minute speech about it, dredging up all sorts of doubts i'd managed to keep under control until then.
since that bastard conversation i have been obsessing over my girl boys. the only male types i have ever wanted were girl types. pretty boys, long haired boys, gay boys and some cocktail of all of the above. i don't like manly girls. i like pretty girls. i like lipstick girls and eyelined boys. but do i really like either one?
the only personi can really think about right now...
well, it isn't jim. whom i have avoided beautifully. it has been nearly two weeks, which in boy land should be good enough to get over someone. more than good enough. he should be done. yes.
we'll see. i expect he'll be at prodigal on wednesday. should i go? maybe not. maybe i should ignore the whole thing a little while longer.
damn it. why can't i just make one
saw pirates of the carribean twice. would like very much to have sex with johnny depp. very very much.
and there in lies what i believe to be the heart of the matter.
girlboys.
i saw jakub on sunday, we met at polcari's when i got back from plymouth, he was already creeping into the bag one long island ice tea at a time. two beers later we went back to his house to watch his czecoslovakian bootleg chigaco dvd. he was gloating about it ALL NIGHT. congratulations. no oe cares, jakub. he drove three hours to conneticut and fooled around with some girl to get it. his nipples were still sore from some unnecessary biting, so i pinched them at every opportune moment.
at one point, jarred was mentioned. i said he should breed for the greater good of the human race, because he is just so pretty. jakub went on about how he isn't and how he [jakub] is better looking, which he most certainly is not, and talked some shit.
i was not down. though shalt not talk shit about jarred.
so we bitched back and forth, and then jakub announced i was a lesbian. he gave some rambling six minute speech about it, dredging up all sorts of doubts i'd managed to keep under control until then.
since that bastard conversation i have been obsessing over my girl boys. the only male types i have ever wanted were girl types. pretty boys, long haired boys, gay boys and some cocktail of all of the above. i don't like manly girls. i like pretty girls. i like lipstick girls and eyelined boys. but do i really like either one?
the only personi can really think about right now...
well, it isn't jim. whom i have avoided beautifully. it has been nearly two weeks, which in boy land should be good enough to get over someone. more than good enough. he should be done. yes.
we'll see. i expect he'll be at prodigal on wednesday. should i go? maybe not. maybe i should ignore the whole thing a little while longer.
damn it. why can't i just make one