emma stinson
ok, i know that everyone is sick of me complaining about this,
and i promise that after this i am done...
but i really need to get it out of my system.
comments and help and advice and all that would really be really really appreciated.
so yeah. here it goes.
now im sure that everyone here has heard about our situation with emma.
us meaning mariah and i.
well, emma and i had a good friendship. we hung out so much, and it was just awesome.
i could come to her with pretty much anything, almost everything i could go to mariah with
((dont get me wrong, nobody can measure up to mariah))
but i mean, emma was right up there.
or so i thought.
after summer ended, and highschool started,
we changed.
which was weird, because we saw eachother like everyday, then it was like wtfffff
but yeah
she became involved in volleyball, which im not mad about at all, because thats really good, and shes really good at it too..
but i mean, the girls she has vball with, she sees for two hours each day, and sometimes like 5 depending if its like a game day or something.
so me and mariah are like, ok thats cool, volleyball is tight, we can hang with her on the weekends. thats totally fine,
well, we were very, very very very wrong.
we would call her, and she'd either already have plans, or she would stand us up.
now im not trying to sound like the clingy "best friend" that is obsessive or anything like that, but i mean, come on, best friends are supposed to hang out, am i right?
well yeah. no. that hasnt happened for like a month.
back to what i was saying...
she always had plans with her volleyball friends. and like, idk, i dont know any of them very well at all, but they seem like awesome girls, so i mean i cant blame her for wanting to hang out with them.
but its still not cool to ditch us 24/7
which is what she has been doing.
and her boyfriend, they have been dating for a while, and then they started going out, and nick norris seems like hes an awesome guy and i am so happy for emma,
but the thing is, is that i have yet to meet him. i know nothing about him but his first and last name. yeah. thats it.
and what bugs me the most, is that mariah and i have both confronted her about it, and she still doesnt get it. we got nothing solved AT ALL. we didnt get a reason, an explenation, not even an "oh im sorry".
its like she doesnt even care anymore.
and that hurts.
but what seems funny to me, is that she is the only on who doesnt see it. so many people have come up to me and mariah and are like "are u guys even stil friends with emma? shes always with so and so" and me n miah are like "yeah, i dont know if we're friends anymore. i havent talked to her in a week or two. and yeah, we know shes off with so and so"
and she thinks she still knows me and mariah after a month without hanging out or talking, and she thinks we can just be best friends with the snap of a finger...
well shes wrong,
she doesnt know anything about us.
and we know nothing about her.
at this point, we cant be best friends.
so much has happened with me and mariah, and she is abselutely clueless. she doesnt know ANYTHING about us anymore... she thinks she does, but she doesnt. she really has no idea.
and she obviously thinks that an "i love you guys" and a "you guys mean the world to me" is going to fix everything, its not. because her actions dont fit the words at all.
"omg i love you guys u guys are my best friends what are you talking about!?" um okay.. wanna hang out then? "oh sorry i cant im busy that day..." blah blah.
thats how its been.
constantly.
and the sad thing is, is that when shes around her boyfriend, or her vball friends, she pretends like she doesnt know us.
she denys that, but its true.
its like mariah and i arent cool enough to talk to her, or hang out with her new friends, or meet her boyfriend.
that bugs the hell out of me.
&&the thing is, is that i loved her so much. mariah and i loved her soooo much. we cared about her. when she had a problem, she would come to us, and we were always there for her.
we had so many good times.
like we used to listen to music in her room, and do our makeup,
and stuff like that
stuff that doesnt really seem all that important, but then it really means everything once it starts to go away
and i mean, graduation night, movie nights at her casa, movies in general,
the mall, breaking her diet everytime she came to my house
taking random pictures, dressing up, and stuff like that
and me and her, we would always listen to "lemonade" by wheatus. and we would dance to it and we knew every single word to the whole song by heart. that was like her and my song.
now every time i hear that song i want to cry because i know things arent the same, and i doubt they ever will be again.
because now shes too cool, and too busy to give us the time of day
well, i tried making things better, i tried talking to her about it, i tried making plans to hang out,
and what did i get out of it?
nothing.
a huge waste of my time.
what i got, was a bunch of rejections and fake "i love yous"
im tired of it.
if she wants to make things change,
then its up to her now
im so done with her act, and im done with being messed with, and im done trying to save the friendship.
ive tried everything,
ive given it my all, and nothing is working..
maybe, just maybe once she realizes that she doesnt have me to fall back on anymore, she'll realize what she once had and let go.
but as far as im concerned, she doesnt need me anymore. she has everything she wanted, and shes happy.
im happy for her,
but she doesnt know that.
all i hope is that she knows that i loved her like a sister, and that she was once one of the best friends i had ever had. i hope she knows that i cared for her and i would have done anything for her. i hope she knows that i didnt want any of this to happen, and i didnt want to lose her without puting up a fight. but i also hope she knows what shes doing, and what shes losing. i hope she knows that this was mostly her fault, and she cant really blame a whole lot on mariah and i.
im done trying to save what she killed.
because at this point, i dont care anymore.