on anxiety and perfection
the great debate between introversion and extraversion is in full swing in the media these days, and it's actually been comforting to see articles that say that introversion is normal, doesn't mean people are socially inept, and carries with it some unique strengths. as an introvert, i appreciate that
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there is not much i could say that wouldn't just be repeating what you said so perfectly. yes to introversion, yes to anxiety, yes to feeling like a failure and worrying people wont like me or think the relationship is worthwhile.
And especially not knowing how to interact without going deep into emotion.
It has been really hard for me to start performing music on a regular basis because I am forced into social extroversion full throttle with the number of people I talk to, and I just feel like I'm faking it til I make it or they are gonna find out I am actually an introverted freak that is boring.
Its a hard world for the introverts cause the extroverts give you so much crap if you don't speak up or get wild, and if you try they are fucking rough to compete with because it doesn't come so naturally.
Theres so much we could talk about on this one, but I'll leave it there for now.
I know self-criticism is an easy train to jump on,
but make no mistake
I love you perfectly.
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I am so grateful to have gone through such formative chapters of my life with you as a part of them, and thinking of those times is still all glitter and makes me feel small (in the good way). I think maybe all our insides are more neurotic and overthinking than the outsides could possibly let on. Your eloquence and honesty is not only beautiful (like you are!) but is inspiring to me to help manage my own internal discord over trying to be authentic and trying to be universally liked.
please say you'll be coming back to Denver sometime soon for a visit, I live here now!
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