Fear
I am experiencing a lot of fear lately. The two areas that I see fear showing up the most is work and dating. As for work I just don't look for a new job. I hate my employer and the way I am treated. That alone should be reason to look for work. I feel it is that whole fear of change thing.
Now dating, I just don't feel comfortable going up to a stranger and asking them out. So I choose to be alone. I think I am going to try what a friend suggested and ask to sit down with a stranger and just start a conversation. What a novel idea. Still not too sure that I am ready to date. Ten plus years in a relationship is a long time. And there are sure to be issues that come up.
Speaking of issues coming up. I acted out yesterday in a way that I did not like. I just had to prove that I was right about something that has no really meaning in the grand scheme of things. I just think it is ugly and I don't want to act that way in the future. Not one of my better traits.
Can't wait till this weekend. Going to hang out with a bunch of my friends at Smith MT. Lake for the weekend and not think too much. My room mate is on his way up now so I have the house to myself tonight. Maybe I can get some good meditation time in while he is gone.
Screwed up my meds again. I forgot to take them yesterday and the Doctor said it was ok to try to stop taking one of them. It is one that I think is causing me, of all people, to not be able to sleep. <\lj-cut>
Now dating, I just don't feel comfortable going up to a stranger and asking them out. So I choose to be alone. I think I am going to try what a friend suggested and ask to sit down with a stranger and just start a conversation. What a novel idea. Still not too sure that I am ready to date. Ten plus years in a relationship is a long time. And there are sure to be issues that come up.
Speaking of issues coming up. I acted out yesterday in a way that I did not like. I just had to prove that I was right about something that has no really meaning in the grand scheme of things. I just think it is ugly and I don't want to act that way in the future. Not one of my better traits.
Can't wait till this weekend. Going to hang out with a bunch of my friends at Smith MT. Lake for the weekend and not think too much. My room mate is on his way up now so I have the house to myself tonight. Maybe I can get some good meditation time in while he is gone.
Screwed up my meds again. I forgot to take them yesterday and the Doctor said it was ok to try to stop taking one of them. It is one that I think is causing me, of all people, to not be able to sleep. <\lj-cut>