J2 Big Bang Gone In An Instant (Or Here Til The Bitter End) Jared/Jensen NC17 Interlude 2
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Interlude Chris/Jensen’s fight (Chris POV)
Everything had turned on its head and Chris had no clue as to how it all got away from him. Sandy was doing some extra credit work in one of the classes she was having a problem with and Chris had promised as a reward for her hard work he would take her for lunch. From lunch they had gone for a walk and ended up at Sandy’s house watching television with Genevieve and Danneel. When Chris and Sandy had arrived, the girls were just putting their books away from studying for respective tests happening that week.
They talked about getting dinner and how the girls were planning on going out to find a hot, tall guy to play with that night. Sandy and a few of her friends were going to come out and watch Chris and Steve perform at a bar they had agreed to play for extra money at. Chris’ cell phone rang and turned everyone’s day around in the blink of an eye.
“No, no. I get it. You’re sick. I’ll find something else. Someone else,” Chris rubbed his face with frustration. He knew that Steve wouldn’t cancel unless he truly couldn’t play but Chris didn’t want to cancel this gig. They had only played a few times at that bar and if he flaked out last minute they might not book them to play again.
“Maybe Jen can fill in.”
Steve’s suggestion caused for Chris to sigh with relief. Jensen would sometimes join them on stage and he knew all of Steve’s parts and chords for the set. He hung up with his friend feeling confident that everything would be okay.
“Steve sick?” Danni asked with concern.
“Yeah, I think he has something that’s been going on. Sounded congested and phlegmy. We have a gig tonight, but I’m going to call Jen and have him fill in.”
Danneel shook her head sadly. “He won’t. He can’t, he has a date with Jared tonight. They’ve been trying to connect for a few weeks now on a night they’re both free.”
There was a moment where Chris felt bad, knowing how much Jensen liked the other man and how long he’d been waiting for this date. But at the same time he knew how important this was Chris so he knew his best friend wouldn’t let him down.
“And Jared has been really looking forward to this date too,” Genevieve threw in her own opinion.
Chris shook his head as he dialed their home number. Jensen had been home when he’d left earlier and hadn’t said anything about going out for anything except his date.
“Where is he?”
Genevieve cocked her head to the side. “Where is who?”
“Jen, he was home. Said he didn’t have anything until his date.”
Genevieve smiled and looked over at Sandy who hadn’t said anything. “He called Jare just before you guys got home and invited Tank out for a doggie play date with Ginny.”
Sandy sighed and covered her heart with her hand. “That is so sweet.”
Chris’ laughter interrupted their sweet moment. “If they’re out now, why do they need to go out on a date tonight?” He jumped when Sandy slapped him on the shoulder. “I’m just saying. If they’re out now then he can come help me tonight. Better yet, Jared can go with you to watch us perform, it will be great.” The thought that Jensen would turn him down barely even penetrated Chris’ resolve.
Dialing the number, Chris smiled when Jensen answered. “Christian, what’s up?”
“Hey son, Danni said you took Virginia to the park with Jared and his dog.”
“Yeah, we’re both here. I shouldn’t be too much longer. Gotta be ready for my big date tonight.”
Despite the excitement in Jensen’s voice, playing for as many venues as he could would only better his chances at making a career out of his music. “So, about that. Is there any way you can cancel?”
Jensen laughed as though he was kidding, when it was clear that he wasn’t going to laugh Jensen stopped. “No Chris, there is no way I can cancel my date with Jared tonight.”
“Can you reschedule? Tell him something came up?”
“No I WON’T reschedule. And nothing DID come up. What’s wrong with you?”
Jensen was getting angry; Chris could hear it loud and clear. But nothing was going to deter him. “Well, can you guys maybe switch the venue of your date?”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Chris?”
“I need you tonight. We’ve got a gig and I need a guitarist. Can you just tell him that I need your help and maybe reschedule, or bring him. He can see us play and during intermission and after you guys can have your date.” As angry as Jensen got, Chris got angrier. He had expected Jensen to come to his aid, to be his best friend and help him out. God knew he’d helped Jensen out without question many times before. This was one night he was asking Jensen to sacrifice for him.
“Are you insane? No. Why do you need me?”
“Steve’s sick and we have a gig tonight. I need someone to play with me and you’re all I’ve got on short notice. Please, don’t be a dick about this. Don’t be so fucking selfish. I need you, you barely know this kid. He’ll understand, if he’s as cool as you and Sandy say…”
“No, this isn’t my problem. This is your problem, yours and Steve. I’m sorry he’s sick but I’m not available.” Jensen’s voice was emotionless. He was speaking slowly, as if trying to control his anger. It only fueled Chris’ rage and he felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins.
“It’s just a fucking date. Hell, you’re with him right now.”
“Oh, just a fucking date. When it’s my life it’s just a fucking date. When it’s you and we have plans it’s okay because Sandy’s this hot chick and you’re still in the getting to know you phase and we’re all expected to understand. Fuck you.”
“You’re such a selfish asshole, this is my music,” Chris argued, nearly shouting. “This is my life and you know that. If you were a true friend you’d understand. You’d have my back and not this kid who means shit to us.”
Chris watched Danneel stand up and storm over to where he was standing. He pulled the phone from his ear shielding it from where she tried to grab it.
“You fucking asshole,” she said angrily. “You have no right to say that to him.”
“Danni,” Gen looked at her girlfriend with a worried expression on her face. Chris flashed Danni the middle finger and told her to mind her own business.
“You’d better hope he forgives you after this fucking stunt you just pulled. You disgust me.” Genevieve pulled Danni away and they both stormed up the stairs.
When Chris focused back on the phone in his hand there was dead air. He checked the display screen and saw Jensen had hung up on him. “Fucking shit,” he cursed as he threw the phone against the wall. “Selfish prick.” His scream echoed in the room.
A room opened upstairs and Danneel flew back down the stairs, her red hair flying angrily behind her. “How fucking DARE you?” she accused.
“Who the fuck are you to yell at me? This has nothing to do with you. This is between me and that fucking traitor Jensen.”
“Fuck you,” Danneel seethed. “You know he’ll do anything for you. He has done anything for you, WILL DO anything for you and once, just one damn time he doesn’t drop everything for you and you accuse him of not being a good friend?”
Their fight continued until finally Genevieve saw how overworked Danneel was and gently pulled her away from Chris.
“Come on, Danni. Lets go get some air.”
“Yeah, go get some fucking air,” Chris mocked with a sneer.
“Go to hell Christian,” Genevieve cursed at him, once again leading Danneel up the stairs to her bedroom.
Chris continued to mumble under his breath, not sure what he was going to do to get someone else to play with him that night. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. When he looked up he saw Sandy watching him. There was no distinguishing mood displayed on her face. “What kind of best friend fucking doesn’t tell his best friend he will cancel a date when he needs him? Betrayal, that’s what that is. Don’t you agree?”
No answer was forthcoming and Chris felt his anger rise again.
“Don’t you agree? What selfish prick puts himself over his best friend? For a piece of ass. Do you have anything to say?” Her silence was only adding to his frustration.
It was as if Sandy was choosing her words wisely. When she finally began to speak, he immediately could hear the irritation in her voice.
“I really think you should stop and think about what you’re saying. You’re overreacting.”
Chris recoiled as though Sandy had slapped him. “Are you serious right now?”
“Are you?” Sandy gave a humourless laugh. “He’s your best friend. And he doesn’t do one thing that you want him to do you write him off. And furthermore, that KID you keep referring to as if he’s a piece of trash? He’s one of my best friends. And you better remember that.”
“God, you’re as unreasonable as they are. What is wrong with you fucking people? Why is it so bad that I want my friend to help me and am pissed when he’s too much of a fucking girl to say no to a hot guy just because he wants to fuck him?”
Sandy stood up to full height, just barely reaching Chris’ shoulder where he too had jumped up from his position on the couch. “Don’t you dare take your anger out on me. Especially when you’re wrong, we all know you’re wrong but you’re too much of an ass to admit it.”
It was clear that Chris was not about to calm down, let alone apologize to any of them for how he’d been acting. Sandy stared her boyfriend straight in the eye, “Maybe you should go for a bit. We can discuss this later.”
He thought about fighting, but knew it would be a lost cause. Not to mention he was dangerously close to saying something that he would not be able to take back. Silently, he grabbed his coat and shoved his feet in his boots that were at the bottom of the stairs leading to the second floor. When he looked up he saw Danneel standing at the top with her hands on her hips.
“Stay away from the house.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Check your phone jackass. Jen’s on his way home to get ready for his date with Jared. Stay away from the house. Don’t confront him, just let him calm down.”
“So I’m not wanted here but I can’t even go to my own house?”
Genevieve appeared behind Danneel, a sneer on her face. “Maybe you should think about why that is Kane?”
“Maybe you should mind your own damn business.” He just wanted everyone to mind their own business, to let him deal with this on his own. Or with Jensen, who didn’t want anyone to talk to him or to see any of them if the text on his phone was true. He looked up at Genevieve as she spoke again.
“Jared IS my business.”
Chris looked back and forth to each of the women that were standing before him, eyes narrowed and arms crossed over their chests. He could feel the tension in the room, the volatile air that was still present. “”Fuck you all,” was all he could say as he stormed out the front door, slamming it behind him.
He had no idea where he would go, where he could go. He wanted to go to a bar and start drinking to numb the sting of betrayal that he felt. Betrayal from everyone, starting with Steve and ending with Sandy. Not one person was behind him and he felt alone. A feeling he’d been familiar with recently, so familiar that he felt like he was being drowned by it. In his car, Chris started to drive with no destination in mind. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to go, he just knew he couldn’t sit still. It took fifteen minutes of aimless driving for everything to catch up to him. He was still angry, but the replay of his conversations with Jensen and Sandy upset him the most. Two people he cared about, the two people he cared MOST about had been treated with utter disrespect and disregard today and there was no one to blame but himself.
He stopped off at the florist, picked up a dozen roses and climbed back into his car so he could head back to his girlfriend’s house to beg for forgiveness. Chris wiped the tears from his eyes, tears he would deny until his dying day, and rang the doorbell. Sandy opened the door with traces of her own tears on her cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” Chris whispered with a broken voice. He watched Sandy’s stoic face fall and tears pool in her eyes.
“What is going on with you?” Sandy asked softly. She stepped out onto the verandah and hugged Chris tightly.
“Just…everything. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Please tell me you forgive me?” The roses were on the railing where he picked them back up and presented them to his girlfriend.
“Of course. But we need to talk about this. I’ve never seen you like this. “
Chris shook his head. “I don’t know… I just, I can’t talk about it. Not now. I’m so fucking confused. ” He took a deep breath and blinked back a few more tears. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so damn sorry.”
With a sad smile Sandy led him inside and they sat on the couch. He cringed when he saw Danneel and Genevieve sitting on the love seat, whispering between them. His eyes met Danni’s, she stood up and walked in front of him.
“Are you done?” Her eyes were hard but her voice was gentle and caring.
“I fucking hope so,” was all he could reply with. They shared a hug, breaking for Chris to join Sandy on the couch. As they got settled, the door opened and Jared walked in. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he entered the living room, taking in the two couples with trepidation.
“H-hey.”
Jared’s eyes flickered on Chris for only a few seconds. He put his head down and headed for the stairs.
“Jared? Wait?” Chris’s heart was racing. Sandy put her hand on his thigh and squeezed a warning.
“What is it?”
“I called Jensen and asked him to cancel tonight, or at least reschedule. I have a gig and Steve can’t make it. I need another guitar and backup vocals and Jen usually stands in when we need him.”
Jared nodded, his face betraying nothing.
“He said no, but I think he just didn’t want to upset you. If you tell him that it’s okay, that you guys can do your date another day…”
“Chris,” Jared’s voice was loud, interrupting Chris’ rambling. “If he said no, I have to respect that. I’m not going to ask him to do something that he doesn’t want to do.”
“You’re the reason he doesn’t want to do it. He’s too blinded by this date to be thinking clearly. He doesn’t know what’s important anymore.”
Jared’s eyes narrowed as his hands curled up into fists at his sides. “How can you call him your friend if you have that low of an opinion of him?”
Chris was stunned at Jared’s declaration.
“How can you think that he would let anyone dictate to him what’s important and what isn’t, like he doesn’t know. Like he doesn’t deserve something that makes him happy? You think that makes him selfish?”
Irritation caused for Chris to roll his eyes. “Oh, I’m sure he told you everything.” He felt his anger rising again.
“He didn’t have to, the whole fucking park heard him yelling.” Jared’s voice never rose above that of casual conversation. “He claims you’re his best friend. Act like it.”
Jared didn’t give him a chance to rebut his claims. He simply turned on his heel and walked out of the room.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Danni watched him with pity in her eyes. Chris hated that expression, hated it more when he saw it was reflected in Genevieve and Sandy’s expression as well.
“What am I supposed to do?” He asked. It was nearly six o’clock. They were scheduled to go on between 9:30 and 10. It was too late to cancel but he had no idea what the alternative was.
“Go on alone?” Genevieve snapped sarcastically.
Chris looked up and contemplated her suggestion. Danneel grinned. “Yeah, why don’t you go on alone?” She asked. “It’s not like you can’t carry a show on your own.”
He didn’t know why the thought hadn’t occurred to him sooner, although it had been a while since he’d performed solo and the bar was expecting at least two of them for the set. “Fuck. I need to talk to Jensen.”
“No,” Danneel put her foot down. “No matter what you do, what you say it’s going to end in a fight. And if you ruin this date for him I will kill you. That you can count on.”
“This isn’t your fight.”
“Wanna bet?”
The doorbell ringing interrupted anything Chris might have said. Chris and Danneel both lurched for the door, but they were stopped by Genevieve. “I will cut a bitch,” she warned both of them with a growl. “Back. Off.”
Chris moved to cut her off before she got to the door but Danneel stopped him. “Please,” she whispered. “Let him be. Just for tonight at least.” They both stood frozen, staring at one another as if to dare the other to move.
Jared’s loud footsteps down the stairs provided Chris with a second where Danneel’s attention was focused elsewhere. He pushed Danneel forward with him into the line of sight so that when Jared opened the door, Chris could see Jensen standing on the porch. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second but Chris could see the rage in their green depths. The anger stunned him, Chris had never seen that level of contempt directed towards him. He let Sandy pull him back into the living room and onto the couch.
Chris barely noticed Genevieve joining them in the living room; he was lost in his own thoughts. They sat in silence for the duration of the movie they were watching and it wasn’t until Danneel stood up to change the disc that anyone spoke.
“What time are you guys going out tonight?” Sandy asked.
Danneel and Genevieve shared a look and what seemed to be a silent conversation. “I’m not sure I feel up to going out any more,” Danneel admitted. “I kind of just want to stay in and de-stress.”
Genevieve nodded causing Danni to exhale in relief.
“How about you? What time are you guys heading out?”
Chris rubbed his temples and fought the headache that was forming. “I need to be there at nine."
“Good luck with that,” Genevieve called as she headed upstairs. Danneel flashed Chris a sad smile before following her up.
“You’re still coming, right?” Chris hated the need in his voice. He smiled softly when Sandy nodded and climbed onto his lap.
“Of course,” she gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. “You might not believe it, but I’m here for you. I don’t like seeing you hurt, and I know you’re hurting so much right now.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted slowly. “About anything. I’m just so lost.”
Sandy ran her fingers through his hair, trying to smooth out the tension. “You’re never alone. You don’t have to be lost, because I will always be here for you.”
Chris just hoped the same could be said for Jensen.
On to Chapter 6
Masterpost
Interlude Chris/Jensen’s fight (Chris POV)
Everything had turned on its head and Chris had no clue as to how it all got away from him. Sandy was doing some extra credit work in one of the classes she was having a problem with and Chris had promised as a reward for her hard work he would take her for lunch. From lunch they had gone for a walk and ended up at Sandy’s house watching television with Genevieve and Danneel. When Chris and Sandy had arrived, the girls were just putting their books away from studying for respective tests happening that week.
They talked about getting dinner and how the girls were planning on going out to find a hot, tall guy to play with that night. Sandy and a few of her friends were going to come out and watch Chris and Steve perform at a bar they had agreed to play for extra money at. Chris’ cell phone rang and turned everyone’s day around in the blink of an eye.
“No, no. I get it. You’re sick. I’ll find something else. Someone else,” Chris rubbed his face with frustration. He knew that Steve wouldn’t cancel unless he truly couldn’t play but Chris didn’t want to cancel this gig. They had only played a few times at that bar and if he flaked out last minute they might not book them to play again.
“Maybe Jen can fill in.”
Steve’s suggestion caused for Chris to sigh with relief. Jensen would sometimes join them on stage and he knew all of Steve’s parts and chords for the set. He hung up with his friend feeling confident that everything would be okay.
“Steve sick?” Danni asked with concern.
“Yeah, I think he has something that’s been going on. Sounded congested and phlegmy. We have a gig tonight, but I’m going to call Jen and have him fill in.”
Danneel shook her head sadly. “He won’t. He can’t, he has a date with Jared tonight. They’ve been trying to connect for a few weeks now on a night they’re both free.”
There was a moment where Chris felt bad, knowing how much Jensen liked the other man and how long he’d been waiting for this date. But at the same time he knew how important this was Chris so he knew his best friend wouldn’t let him down.
“And Jared has been really looking forward to this date too,” Genevieve threw in her own opinion.
Chris shook his head as he dialed their home number. Jensen had been home when he’d left earlier and hadn’t said anything about going out for anything except his date.
“Where is he?”
Genevieve cocked her head to the side. “Where is who?”
“Jen, he was home. Said he didn’t have anything until his date.”
Genevieve smiled and looked over at Sandy who hadn’t said anything. “He called Jare just before you guys got home and invited Tank out for a doggie play date with Ginny.”
Sandy sighed and covered her heart with her hand. “That is so sweet.”
Chris’ laughter interrupted their sweet moment. “If they’re out now, why do they need to go out on a date tonight?” He jumped when Sandy slapped him on the shoulder. “I’m just saying. If they’re out now then he can come help me tonight. Better yet, Jared can go with you to watch us perform, it will be great.” The thought that Jensen would turn him down barely even penetrated Chris’ resolve.
Dialing the number, Chris smiled when Jensen answered. “Christian, what’s up?”
“Hey son, Danni said you took Virginia to the park with Jared and his dog.”
“Yeah, we’re both here. I shouldn’t be too much longer. Gotta be ready for my big date tonight.”
Despite the excitement in Jensen’s voice, playing for as many venues as he could would only better his chances at making a career out of his music. “So, about that. Is there any way you can cancel?”
Jensen laughed as though he was kidding, when it was clear that he wasn’t going to laugh Jensen stopped. “No Chris, there is no way I can cancel my date with Jared tonight.”
“Can you reschedule? Tell him something came up?”
“No I WON’T reschedule. And nothing DID come up. What’s wrong with you?”
Jensen was getting angry; Chris could hear it loud and clear. But nothing was going to deter him. “Well, can you guys maybe switch the venue of your date?”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Chris?”
“I need you tonight. We’ve got a gig and I need a guitarist. Can you just tell him that I need your help and maybe reschedule, or bring him. He can see us play and during intermission and after you guys can have your date.” As angry as Jensen got, Chris got angrier. He had expected Jensen to come to his aid, to be his best friend and help him out. God knew he’d helped Jensen out without question many times before. This was one night he was asking Jensen to sacrifice for him.
“Are you insane? No. Why do you need me?”
“Steve’s sick and we have a gig tonight. I need someone to play with me and you’re all I’ve got on short notice. Please, don’t be a dick about this. Don’t be so fucking selfish. I need you, you barely know this kid. He’ll understand, if he’s as cool as you and Sandy say…”
“No, this isn’t my problem. This is your problem, yours and Steve. I’m sorry he’s sick but I’m not available.” Jensen’s voice was emotionless. He was speaking slowly, as if trying to control his anger. It only fueled Chris’ rage and he felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins.
“It’s just a fucking date. Hell, you’re with him right now.”
“Oh, just a fucking date. When it’s my life it’s just a fucking date. When it’s you and we have plans it’s okay because Sandy’s this hot chick and you’re still in the getting to know you phase and we’re all expected to understand. Fuck you.”
“You’re such a selfish asshole, this is my music,” Chris argued, nearly shouting. “This is my life and you know that. If you were a true friend you’d understand. You’d have my back and not this kid who means shit to us.”
Chris watched Danneel stand up and storm over to where he was standing. He pulled the phone from his ear shielding it from where she tried to grab it.
“You fucking asshole,” she said angrily. “You have no right to say that to him.”
“Danni,” Gen looked at her girlfriend with a worried expression on her face. Chris flashed Danni the middle finger and told her to mind her own business.
“You’d better hope he forgives you after this fucking stunt you just pulled. You disgust me.” Genevieve pulled Danni away and they both stormed up the stairs.
When Chris focused back on the phone in his hand there was dead air. He checked the display screen and saw Jensen had hung up on him. “Fucking shit,” he cursed as he threw the phone against the wall. “Selfish prick.” His scream echoed in the room.
A room opened upstairs and Danneel flew back down the stairs, her red hair flying angrily behind her. “How fucking DARE you?” she accused.
“Who the fuck are you to yell at me? This has nothing to do with you. This is between me and that fucking traitor Jensen.”
“Fuck you,” Danneel seethed. “You know he’ll do anything for you. He has done anything for you, WILL DO anything for you and once, just one damn time he doesn’t drop everything for you and you accuse him of not being a good friend?”
Their fight continued until finally Genevieve saw how overworked Danneel was and gently pulled her away from Chris.
“Come on, Danni. Lets go get some air.”
“Yeah, go get some fucking air,” Chris mocked with a sneer.
“Go to hell Christian,” Genevieve cursed at him, once again leading Danneel up the stairs to her bedroom.
Chris continued to mumble under his breath, not sure what he was going to do to get someone else to play with him that night. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. When he looked up he saw Sandy watching him. There was no distinguishing mood displayed on her face. “What kind of best friend fucking doesn’t tell his best friend he will cancel a date when he needs him? Betrayal, that’s what that is. Don’t you agree?”
No answer was forthcoming and Chris felt his anger rise again.
“Don’t you agree? What selfish prick puts himself over his best friend? For a piece of ass. Do you have anything to say?” Her silence was only adding to his frustration.
It was as if Sandy was choosing her words wisely. When she finally began to speak, he immediately could hear the irritation in her voice.
“I really think you should stop and think about what you’re saying. You’re overreacting.”
Chris recoiled as though Sandy had slapped him. “Are you serious right now?”
“Are you?” Sandy gave a humourless laugh. “He’s your best friend. And he doesn’t do one thing that you want him to do you write him off. And furthermore, that KID you keep referring to as if he’s a piece of trash? He’s one of my best friends. And you better remember that.”
“God, you’re as unreasonable as they are. What is wrong with you fucking people? Why is it so bad that I want my friend to help me and am pissed when he’s too much of a fucking girl to say no to a hot guy just because he wants to fuck him?”
Sandy stood up to full height, just barely reaching Chris’ shoulder where he too had jumped up from his position on the couch. “Don’t you dare take your anger out on me. Especially when you’re wrong, we all know you’re wrong but you’re too much of an ass to admit it.”
It was clear that Chris was not about to calm down, let alone apologize to any of them for how he’d been acting. Sandy stared her boyfriend straight in the eye, “Maybe you should go for a bit. We can discuss this later.”
He thought about fighting, but knew it would be a lost cause. Not to mention he was dangerously close to saying something that he would not be able to take back. Silently, he grabbed his coat and shoved his feet in his boots that were at the bottom of the stairs leading to the second floor. When he looked up he saw Danneel standing at the top with her hands on her hips.
“Stay away from the house.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Check your phone jackass. Jen’s on his way home to get ready for his date with Jared. Stay away from the house. Don’t confront him, just let him calm down.”
“So I’m not wanted here but I can’t even go to my own house?”
Genevieve appeared behind Danneel, a sneer on her face. “Maybe you should think about why that is Kane?”
“Maybe you should mind your own damn business.” He just wanted everyone to mind their own business, to let him deal with this on his own. Or with Jensen, who didn’t want anyone to talk to him or to see any of them if the text on his phone was true. He looked up at Genevieve as she spoke again.
“Jared IS my business.”
Chris looked back and forth to each of the women that were standing before him, eyes narrowed and arms crossed over their chests. He could feel the tension in the room, the volatile air that was still present. “”Fuck you all,” was all he could say as he stormed out the front door, slamming it behind him.
He had no idea where he would go, where he could go. He wanted to go to a bar and start drinking to numb the sting of betrayal that he felt. Betrayal from everyone, starting with Steve and ending with Sandy. Not one person was behind him and he felt alone. A feeling he’d been familiar with recently, so familiar that he felt like he was being drowned by it. In his car, Chris started to drive with no destination in mind. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to go, he just knew he couldn’t sit still. It took fifteen minutes of aimless driving for everything to catch up to him. He was still angry, but the replay of his conversations with Jensen and Sandy upset him the most. Two people he cared about, the two people he cared MOST about had been treated with utter disrespect and disregard today and there was no one to blame but himself.
He stopped off at the florist, picked up a dozen roses and climbed back into his car so he could head back to his girlfriend’s house to beg for forgiveness. Chris wiped the tears from his eyes, tears he would deny until his dying day, and rang the doorbell. Sandy opened the door with traces of her own tears on her cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” Chris whispered with a broken voice. He watched Sandy’s stoic face fall and tears pool in her eyes.
“What is going on with you?” Sandy asked softly. She stepped out onto the verandah and hugged Chris tightly.
“Just…everything. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Please tell me you forgive me?” The roses were on the railing where he picked them back up and presented them to his girlfriend.
“Of course. But we need to talk about this. I’ve never seen you like this. “
Chris shook his head. “I don’t know… I just, I can’t talk about it. Not now. I’m so fucking confused. ” He took a deep breath and blinked back a few more tears. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so damn sorry.”
With a sad smile Sandy led him inside and they sat on the couch. He cringed when he saw Danneel and Genevieve sitting on the love seat, whispering between them. His eyes met Danni’s, she stood up and walked in front of him.
“Are you done?” Her eyes were hard but her voice was gentle and caring.
“I fucking hope so,” was all he could reply with. They shared a hug, breaking for Chris to join Sandy on the couch. As they got settled, the door opened and Jared walked in. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he entered the living room, taking in the two couples with trepidation.
“H-hey.”
Jared’s eyes flickered on Chris for only a few seconds. He put his head down and headed for the stairs.
“Jared? Wait?” Chris’s heart was racing. Sandy put her hand on his thigh and squeezed a warning.
“What is it?”
“I called Jensen and asked him to cancel tonight, or at least reschedule. I have a gig and Steve can’t make it. I need another guitar and backup vocals and Jen usually stands in when we need him.”
Jared nodded, his face betraying nothing.
“He said no, but I think he just didn’t want to upset you. If you tell him that it’s okay, that you guys can do your date another day…”
“Chris,” Jared’s voice was loud, interrupting Chris’ rambling. “If he said no, I have to respect that. I’m not going to ask him to do something that he doesn’t want to do.”
“You’re the reason he doesn’t want to do it. He’s too blinded by this date to be thinking clearly. He doesn’t know what’s important anymore.”
Jared’s eyes narrowed as his hands curled up into fists at his sides. “How can you call him your friend if you have that low of an opinion of him?”
Chris was stunned at Jared’s declaration.
“How can you think that he would let anyone dictate to him what’s important and what isn’t, like he doesn’t know. Like he doesn’t deserve something that makes him happy? You think that makes him selfish?”
Irritation caused for Chris to roll his eyes. “Oh, I’m sure he told you everything.” He felt his anger rising again.
“He didn’t have to, the whole fucking park heard him yelling.” Jared’s voice never rose above that of casual conversation. “He claims you’re his best friend. Act like it.”
Jared didn’t give him a chance to rebut his claims. He simply turned on his heel and walked out of the room.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Danni watched him with pity in her eyes. Chris hated that expression, hated it more when he saw it was reflected in Genevieve and Sandy’s expression as well.
“What am I supposed to do?” He asked. It was nearly six o’clock. They were scheduled to go on between 9:30 and 10. It was too late to cancel but he had no idea what the alternative was.
“Go on alone?” Genevieve snapped sarcastically.
Chris looked up and contemplated her suggestion. Danneel grinned. “Yeah, why don’t you go on alone?” She asked. “It’s not like you can’t carry a show on your own.”
He didn’t know why the thought hadn’t occurred to him sooner, although it had been a while since he’d performed solo and the bar was expecting at least two of them for the set. “Fuck. I need to talk to Jensen.”
“No,” Danneel put her foot down. “No matter what you do, what you say it’s going to end in a fight. And if you ruin this date for him I will kill you. That you can count on.”
“This isn’t your fight.”
“Wanna bet?”
The doorbell ringing interrupted anything Chris might have said. Chris and Danneel both lurched for the door, but they were stopped by Genevieve. “I will cut a bitch,” she warned both of them with a growl. “Back. Off.”
Chris moved to cut her off before she got to the door but Danneel stopped him. “Please,” she whispered. “Let him be. Just for tonight at least.” They both stood frozen, staring at one another as if to dare the other to move.
Jared’s loud footsteps down the stairs provided Chris with a second where Danneel’s attention was focused elsewhere. He pushed Danneel forward with him into the line of sight so that when Jared opened the door, Chris could see Jensen standing on the porch. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second but Chris could see the rage in their green depths. The anger stunned him, Chris had never seen that level of contempt directed towards him. He let Sandy pull him back into the living room and onto the couch.
Chris barely noticed Genevieve joining them in the living room; he was lost in his own thoughts. They sat in silence for the duration of the movie they were watching and it wasn’t until Danneel stood up to change the disc that anyone spoke.
“What time are you guys going out tonight?” Sandy asked.
Danneel and Genevieve shared a look and what seemed to be a silent conversation. “I’m not sure I feel up to going out any more,” Danneel admitted. “I kind of just want to stay in and de-stress.”
Genevieve nodded causing Danni to exhale in relief.
“How about you? What time are you guys heading out?”
Chris rubbed his temples and fought the headache that was forming. “I need to be there at nine."
“Good luck with that,” Genevieve called as she headed upstairs. Danneel flashed Chris a sad smile before following her up.
“You’re still coming, right?” Chris hated the need in his voice. He smiled softly when Sandy nodded and climbed onto his lap.
“Of course,” she gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. “You might not believe it, but I’m here for you. I don’t like seeing you hurt, and I know you’re hurting so much right now.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted slowly. “About anything. I’m just so lost.”
Sandy ran her fingers through his hair, trying to smooth out the tension. “You’re never alone. You don’t have to be lost, because I will always be here for you.”
Chris just hoped the same could be said for Jensen.
On to Chapter 6
Masterpost