welcome back.
Wow. This is the worst I've ever been about updating. Ever. Prepare yourselves for an incredibly long entry right about... now.
So. When was the last time I even updated this thing? Around CCY? My gosh.
The reason I've been so terrible about updating is this: this year has been the most challenging year of my life. I say challenging instead of terrible now because I'm trying to be optimistic again. Anyway, I got back from CCY, and my mom told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer and would be starting chemo soon. I was devastated. The strongest person I know quickly became one of the weakest physically. Of course, my mom's amazing and emotionally was stronger than ever. Then so many other terrible things were happening-- Jesuit and NOCCA not working out, being frustrated with my talent and where I was going with theatre, friends being crazy, Jessica getting really sick, my relationship with my dad being worse than ever, friends leaving, my parents being bitchy and awful, cattiness, drama, so many things...I'm not going to keep on listing them, even though I could. You were always there for me, though. The only amazing thing about this year.
Y'all can let your imaginations run wild about how sucky the first semester was...but now I do go to Grace King, instead of Jesuit, which was an amazing choice. I tell people that I smile again. 'cause I do. I thought this semester would be absolutely perfect...but this semester hasn't been either...seeing as Bruce and I are on the brink of expulsion from NOCCA/Riverfront for accidentally not filling out a check-out form. Really? I hate Gary Alan Wood. And my parents have basically punished me from seeing the light of day. Anyway. The point is that this year has changed me. Tremendously. I hesitate to say "changed," though, because the year isn't over. I've really lost a lot of faith in God because at every turn He's let me down. Almost anything that could have gone wrong so far this year has gone wrong. I don't know. Life's just really hard. It's affected my usual cheery optimism, too, which is really hard. It's hard being "Josh Smith" when you're having a rough time, just because I'm so trapped by who I am and how everyone perceives me...and I'm so tired of that. I'm so tired of being Josh. I don't know. I'm in a really weird mood right now, forgive me. Life's just really hard. For all of us. I'm really trying to figure myself out.
ANYWAY! Enough pointless rambling about me. On to more important things! Like a re-cap of the first semester and a little bit of the second!
August.
I got back from CCY, which was really a great experience. I made so many friends and I got a little taste of independence from my parents that was much-needed. Hannah and Grant became two of my absolute best friends. Too many inside jokes to reiterate. Anyway, I got back from CCY, and life already switched into high-gear. NOCCA started like two weeks after I got back. As did Jesuit. I started getting really close to all of my NOCCA friends that I'd already been so close with, especially Bruce, who had been in Florida for the past two years. Things were great all around with all of my friends really...at least to the best of my knowledge. haha, I'm trying to remember everything.
Fun times--
Doing lights for Footloose and hanging out with Allison, Liz, Hayli, etc., a lot and re-bonding with them.
Hanging out with Erica before she left to go back to New York, a la our fun French Quarter/Lakefront adventure day.
Hanging out on the levee with various people, sometimes just myself.
Hannah's birthday party at Hard Rock!
Really falling for you.
Laura leaving town...I cried...so hard. Went to Cafe du Monde with Bruce, Sarah, Ashley, and Laura before she left...it was incredibly hard.
That night we all cooked dinner at Liz's house--me, Allison, Hayli, Liz, Darren, Matt. They surprised me 'cause they knew I was having a really rough time.
That random night we went over to Ashley's to watch that sketchy Edie Sedgwick movie.
BBL Art Therapy night with Liz and Hayli! Amazing. So much fun. A pick-me-up that I needed desperately.
September.
Life keeps getting harder. We're still getting closer. Things at NOCCA are picking up speed. I'm super close to everyone at NOCCA. The Inner Circle is born. Bruce and I become best friends. My mom's chemo drains her. My dad is more of a jerk than ever. Jesuit SUCKS. The list goes on and on. Missing Laura really really really badly.
Fun times--
Hannah leaving unexpectedly...it was incredibly hard. I was not for anything else sucky to happen...but one of my best friends (still to this day) left and moved back to Dallas. It was so hard.
THE FIRST NIGHT! a. may. zing. I love Corinne. And you.
Randomly going to Le Chat to see shows with NOCCA people.
MCA Ring Dance! I went with Liz and had a complete blast.
Bruce's beginning of the year hot tub party at his house. Fun fun fun.
Going over to Liz's to hang out that day I went for a 4 hour walk on the levee and got SERIOUSLY sun-burned... haha.
October.
Things kind of get better...at least I think they do. I'm INSANELY close to you at this point. Things at NOCCA are going okay, except I have zero self-confidence. Life's still hard, though. I start taking lessons from Mr. B. Random stuff like that.
Fun times--
Franklin Homecoming! Not as fun as I expected, but still a blast. Sarah and I ROCK at being dates.
Legally Blonde party at Ashley's.
Tara's surprise party! Fantastic. I love all of them. Our MT parody was AMAZING.
Momix night! Fun Inner Circle times.
Finding out that NOCCA's doing Tommy. Interesting. Casting drama ensues.
My Halloween party with everyone from the neighborhood, Bruce, Courtney, Ashley, the Andersens, etc.
THAT WEEK THAT ERICA AND HANNAH BOTH CAME IN TOWN! AMAZING!
Hannah's random visit and partying at Ashley's with her, Ashley, Bruce, and Blair.
More times with you. Every afternoon was amazing. You have no idea. So much love.
November.
Turned out to be a really challenging month and I didn't think it would be.
Fun times--
Going to see Zombie Prom at Newman with NOCCA people and Overallpro-esque people.
Seeing Amadeus at Jesuit.
Totally Electric and Tommy auditions.
Tommy callbacks, the day my parents got really mad at me and I ran away kinda.
Sam's birthday party when we watched Tommy the movie. Fuuuun.
Project Runway party at Bruce's.
The M Mess...which was awful...but I love you. No, really.
Erica coming in town and playing dirty Scrabble at her house with her, Erica, Megan, Debs, and Bruce. Good night.
December.
Things finally start to look up...I officially know that I don't have to go to Jesuit for the second semester...FOREVER! We're as close as ever. My parents become sort of okay? I'm not crumbling under Jesuit pressure as much as I was because I know that it's going to end soon.
Fun times--
Going to Celebration in the Oaks! Once with Bruce and Chrissy, another time with Bruce, Sarah, Laura, Jenn, Sara, etc, the night we got rained on. haha. Fun times.
Amazing.
NOCCA Christmas Party Extravaganza.
Totally Electric rehearsals start. We meet and love Jonny. The Sensations come together.
LAURA COMING IN TOWN AND SURPRISING ME AT TOTALLY ELECTRIC REHEARSAL!
Seeing Sweeney Todd with Laura, Courtney, Bruce, et al.
THE TRIP TO PARIS WITH BRUCE! Oh my God. So amazing. I wanna go back. I love Bruce AND his family. hahaha.
January.
Bruce and I got back from Paris on the 2nd, and 2008 was already off to a hectic start. He was leaving for ARTS week and I was about to start GK. Bahhhh life.
Fun times--
Laura coming over randomly.
Funfetti Night with Laura and later Bruce!
Going to the zoo with Laura, Erica, Janie, and Kevin.
Hanging out with the Langhoffs and going to see PS. I Love You before dinner with them. The night of projectile take-out. haha.
Sarah and I going to see Katherine's Jayette Revue at Jesuit.
Helping Bruce pack for ARTS week the night before he left.
Totally Electric rehearsals.
Erica's last night in town. Fun dinner and coffee night.
Totally Electric parties! Sleeping over at Bruce's the night before MLK day and then going to rehearsal with everyone. Playing Clue. Being clueless. Dramadramadrama. I love you.
Totally Electric opens, and everyone realizes how much we loved that show and Jonny. I got to keep baby Bochoi!
And here we are. February. Courtney's birthday was the 2nd and I was rid of my house arrest for a while just so I could go see her. Went over to her house with her, Bruce, Sarah, Ashley, Chrissy, and Chris. It was a lot of fun. I love you all for being able to pick me up when I don't think anybody can. It was a terrible day before that. Said bye to the seniors 'cause it was the night before they left for Chicago, where they are now! They're doing amazingly well. Did we expect anything less? Nope. I love them all so much.
I'm kind of not punished anymore? I guess they've seen me crying incessantly around the house and felt bad. But anyway, I got to go to Mardi Gras with my friends. Sunday, I went to the Capital One and met up with Allison, Hayli, Sarah, Brittany, Darren, and Matt. Had a really fun time. I love Hayli Dupre and I love us consoling each other on St. Charles/by Okeanos. Saw everybody drunk off their behinds as usual. I was propositioned/gestured at about 4 times. Fun night over all. Watched Katherine march in Bacchus...which was WEIRD! How did she get so old so quickly? Lundi Gras was fun, too. Matt picked me and Ashley up and we met up with Sarah and Allison and them, sans Hayli who was sick (SAD.), and danced about. Brett was supposed to visit, but he didn't. Whore. Mardi Gras was lame and boring with the family.
And here we are. Ash Wednesday. Don't know what I'm giving up. If I'm giving something up. Hmmm.
I have a confession. I love you.
YES! I DID IT! FINALLY! I HAVE UPDATED MY LJ SEMI-THOROUGHLY! I mean I could update a lot more, but I don't have the energy to get into the nitty-gritty details. GET IT, ME!
Anyway, I want y'all to know that I love you all so much. Without help from my friends, I would NOT have made it this year. Here's a list of people that mean more to me than life itself:
Bruce Landry, Laura Marshall, Erica Langhoff, Courtney Kattengell, Sarah Jackson, Ashley Richard, Hayli Dupre', Liz Hayman, Allison Tebbe, Samantha Helmstetter, Hannah Guillory, Kayla Clemons, Chrissy Bowen, Blake Coheley, Sean Simonson, Grant Hunter, Carolyn Guido, Ron Bermingham, Katherine & Jessica Smith, and tons of others I'm forgetting.
I love you all. So much.
"don't look down.
you might fall.
life made rookies of us all
in our finest year."