Bah Humbug
I hope everyone is having a wonderful time doing whatever it is they are doing!
Personally I am ready for winter to end.
Holidays, such as thanksgiving and christmas, have been putting into light the lack of closeness in my family. Last night we did have our "christmas" party with all the kids, etc. That went well. But today has just been sort of lonely. Twi went to Blue Ridge with Korey last night, Mike's kids went home, George has been out at the movies all day, mom went shopping and has been wrapping presents in her room. It's just me. Sitting here watching the entire 5th season of Cheers, feeling too blah to draw, and eating cookies by myself. I am so terribly jealous of people with close families, I cannot even being to describe it.
Monday we are leaving to go to Pennsylvania but to tell you the truth, I wouldn't even mind it if I was in PA with my relatives for Christmas day. I just want so badly to not feel alone. I am sick of entertaining myself. I just want to be with people.
Christmas isn't at all about stuff. Life isn't about stuff. It isn't about playing solitaire on your laptop computer, it isn't about driving around in your car, it isn't about working to buy yourself things. Things don't make me happy.
There are some people, like my mom for example, that I wish I could tell that too. She seems to think being able to buy yourself and other people things is really important. It is as though ever since she divorced dad she trys to be exactly the opposite of who she was with the ideals she had then. Before she didn't care about money and she wouldn't have cared about spending hours on her computer. She used to have tea parties with me and twila.
She doesn't even read any literature anymore.
Personally, I don't want to be alone on Christmas Eve, I don't care how much shit I bought. It doesn't make me feel good in the least. I think it is magnified more now than ever.
This was when I first woke up in the morning.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. Remember how important people are to you! You are all so lucky. And I know I am lucky to have even what I have. I shouldn't complain.
I think it is pretty funny that even though my mom never wanted us to believe in Santa, I still tried to listen for his sled on my roof when I'd go to sleep on christmas eve as a kid.
Personally I am ready for winter to end.
Holidays, such as thanksgiving and christmas, have been putting into light the lack of closeness in my family. Last night we did have our "christmas" party with all the kids, etc. That went well. But today has just been sort of lonely. Twi went to Blue Ridge with Korey last night, Mike's kids went home, George has been out at the movies all day, mom went shopping and has been wrapping presents in her room. It's just me. Sitting here watching the entire 5th season of Cheers, feeling too blah to draw, and eating cookies by myself. I am so terribly jealous of people with close families, I cannot even being to describe it.
Monday we are leaving to go to Pennsylvania but to tell you the truth, I wouldn't even mind it if I was in PA with my relatives for Christmas day. I just want so badly to not feel alone. I am sick of entertaining myself. I just want to be with people.
Christmas isn't at all about stuff. Life isn't about stuff. It isn't about playing solitaire on your laptop computer, it isn't about driving around in your car, it isn't about working to buy yourself things. Things don't make me happy.
There are some people, like my mom for example, that I wish I could tell that too. She seems to think being able to buy yourself and other people things is really important. It is as though ever since she divorced dad she trys to be exactly the opposite of who she was with the ideals she had then. Before she didn't care about money and she wouldn't have cared about spending hours on her computer. She used to have tea parties with me and twila.
She doesn't even read any literature anymore.
Personally, I don't want to be alone on Christmas Eve, I don't care how much shit I bought. It doesn't make me feel good in the least. I think it is magnified more now than ever.
This was when I first woke up in the morning.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. Remember how important people are to you! You are all so lucky. And I know I am lucky to have even what I have. I shouldn't complain.
I think it is pretty funny that even though my mom never wanted us to believe in Santa, I still tried to listen for his sled on my roof when I'd go to sleep on christmas eve as a kid.