Comments | goingblank: Mmmmmm...and other

goingblank

Mmmmmm...and other

Nov 06, 2006 16:25

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Comments 7

Expectation oneiromancer666 November 6 2006, 22:23:21 UTC

Your resentment is perfectly justified; do not doubt that.
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...But resentment is also poison in your soul. Your resentment is the result of the conflict between your parents' actual state of being versus your expectations regarding their proper state of being. You cannot control your parents' state of being, but you can control your expectations. Your expectation is an ideal that they do not live up to. To free yourself of your expectation reagrding their proper state of being you must truly accept their state of being for what it is. Regard them as children improperly weened into an adult world.
I have had to deal with this myself. My mother's lack of motherlyness filled me with tremendous frustration because she constantly disappointed my expectations regarding a nurturing parent. Realizing that she is a hurt child inside has helped me to stop expecting her to be a nurturer.

Re: Expectation goingblank November 7 2006, 13:43:25 UTC

I'm coming at this from a different direction. I never really let myself resent them. I defended them, I made excuses for them, I felt bad for them because I knew that they are the way they are because of the way they were raised. I chastised myself at any inkling of anger at them. Even in high school while other kids were complaining about how their mom was a bitch and their dad was an asshole...I did my fair share of complaining, but I always finished my rant with "they're doing the best they know how", etc, and felt like a bad child for having ranted at all ( ... )

Re: Expectation oneiromancer666 November 8 2006, 01:59:28 UTC

"I think it's necessary for me to let myself experience these feelings right now. Does that make sense?"
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Yes. There is a part of you that resents your parents, and you have suppressed that part. It must come out into the light before it can be transcended.
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You live with Amanda and Leslie now, yes?

Re: Expectation goingblank November 8 2006, 20:11:57 UTC

Yes.

(The comment has been removed)

goingblank November 7 2006, 13:45:32 UTC

Thank you. I'm hoping one day to fill the void they left with a family I can be proud to be a part of. It won't be blood...it will be forged with stronger ties than that.

twoofdtm November 7 2006, 20:10:56 UTC

*nuzzles you* Just because I know you like them and they help you feel better.

goingblank November 7 2006, 21:31:14 UTC

:: smiles :: thank you, sweetie