Do yourself a favor and don't waste your money on hybrid cats. Three today, I had to put down three. Apparently they love taking chunks out of their owners...and me. Twenty-two grand per cat. Sounds like a wonderful way to spend your money.

On a second note: Does anyone know of any good land for sale up in Albany?

[Private]

Is attempting to fish off of a roof into someone's aquarium through an apartment window legal?

Oh my god! He caught one!

[End Private]

[Private to David]

I think someone locked me on the roof from the inside.

Are you home?

It was probably Powell.

[End Private]

People thoroughly suck.

I hate this thing.

[Added a day later]

Manwhore.

If that's not ( Read more... )

 My landlord has officially lost his mind.

Six marriage proprosals in two weeks. I think his old age has made him senile (or just entirely too desperate). He's even bought a ring, which is frightening, seeing as I have only said a grand total of ten words to the man. The six NOs are not included in that count. I need coffee, a muzzle, and a  ( Read more... )

I'm sorry, but do the Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz scare the shit out of anyone else?

On that note, we have two stray kittens at the office. Would anyone happen to want them? They don't have fleas.

I don't know if I should be worried that I'm amused by this...

[A print-off taped to the page]


( Read more... )

Traffic is so much faster when you're standing in the middle of it.

[Written in several moments later in small print]

Disclaimer: I do not encourage the members of the Tale community to run/stumble/fling/throw themselves in front of moving cars. In the case of such accusations that I do, I will repeat that it's not encouragement but only a mild ( Read more... )

It worries me how I'm wasting my time wondering why a man in a purple duck suit is currently beating the shit out of a man in a pink rabbit suit.

[Added an hour later]

The Purple Peep won.

The lady down the hall trusted me with her kids.

How do you peel four-year-olds off of your window curtains? And what appeases a six-year-old that gnaws on couch legs?

[Eleanor]

I'm sorry I disappeared so suddenly without warning. It was a spur of the moment thing.

I see Jennifer looks full to the brim, and my Compendium seems to be dried off.

Thank you.

[End Private]

[David]

I know this probably is a little too late, but I was rethinking what I said Wednesday, and I'm sorry.

I was trying to tease you at first, and it ( Read more... )

[Penciled in after original post]
Please don't take this seriously. I know I didn't.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Fox (vixen) = Old woman = Silver-locks = Gold-locks (prettier) = Goldilocks (nicer sounding)

Girl/fox/old woman walks in, girl/fox/old woman contaminates and devours food, girl/fox/old woman breaks-in two chairs and breaks one, girl/fox ( Read more... )