A Christmas Cookie from Caradoc and Mellie (also known as Suicidal and Love-Sick)
Caradoc had always loved how his house was on a cliff overlooking the sea. It seemed so cliché, like something you would read in a book or see in a Muggle movie, but he found the cliché comforting. It was home, it always had been, and it was an escape to be able to walk out of the back of his house and sit as close to the edge of the cliff as he could get without falling over. He’d sit there and balance and think, and for the past five or so years, those thoughts had always been about Dallas.
They still were.
It hadn’t snowed near his house yet, but it had rained, and the grass was wet as Caradoc sat down, staring out at the gray sea. He dangled his legs over the edge of the cliff and, for once in his life, tried his hardest not to think. If I think, I’ll go mad, he said to himself, but his methodology wasn’t working. All he could think about was how Dallas had tasted when he last kissed her. How her eyes twinkled when she smiled at him. How she’d finally learned to trust that his feelings for her were genuine.
There was a lump in his throat as the thoughts kept parading in front of his face. How she never should have been alone last Sunday. How he’d failed her…failed to keep her safe like he always promised he would. How frightened she must have been when…
He stopped. He knew what the next thought would be, and it wasn’t a safe one. At least not what everyone else would think was a safe one. He flicked a pebble off the edge of the cliff and watched it fall, but before he could even consider following it, a loud crack and the sound of footsteps distracted him.
***
It had taken nearly an hour of bargaining to convince her mother that Apparating to Caradoc’s house would be completely safe, and even longer for Mellie to convince her mother to let her go almost immediately after getting home from the train station. Mrs. Bones was very cautious about her daughter’s safety, especially after reading that Dallas Zeller had been in Hufflepuff as well. Edgar, however, who was perpetually on their mother’s good side, had stepped in and assured her that Mellie could take care of herself. And so, off she went to Wales.
When she arrived and saw Caradoc sitting at the edge of the cliff, she thought the worst, but he didn’t seem to be moving, either towards or away from his current position. She moved towards him quietly and sat down gingerly in the wet grass, a few inches back from the edge of the cliff. I’m not as crazy as you are, she thought, nudging him and smiling in greeting.
He didn’t look at her.
Mellie tried again, this time nudging him a little harder. “Hey, Car,” she stated. “Alright?”
Caradoc simply sighed.
“I never realized you had such a view,” Mellie added softly. “Why, I’ll bet you can see all the way to Ireland when the weather isn’t this horrid.”
“Yeah.” He still didn’t look at Mellie, but at least he was talking. “Yeah, you can.”
“It must be something else in the springtime.” They sat silently for a moment, but Mellie found it quite unbearable. When she looked back on it later, she would kick herself for changing the subject so abruptly, but she could think of nothing else to do but to put her hand on her friend’s shoulder and say, “It’s awful about Dallas.”
“Awful, you say? Come on, Mellie.” Now Caradoc looked up and Mellie could see that his jaw was set like he was about to fly into a temper. She’d only ever seen him do that once before, and she did not want to see it again, but it seemed there was little else to do. Caradoc turned to her, eyes flashing. “I chased after her for six years. We finally had a real relationship this fall. We were in love, and then, just before Christmas…Christmas, Mellie!…some psychotic bastard kidnaps and murders her, and hangs her high on this flagpole like she’s some sort of prize kill.” He glared at Mellie silently before adding, “I don’t think ‘awful’ is quite strong enough of a word.”
“Well, what word would you use, then?” Mellie challenged, her own temper rising. When Caradoc didn’t answer, she jumped to her feet. “Fine. If you won’t say it, I will. It’s awful. It’s horrid. It sucks, bites, blows and all of those other ‘polite’ expressions.” She was nearly shouting by now. “It’s not polite, for crying out loud! Nothing about the situation is polite! She was butchered, and whoever did it is a purely disgusting and horrible person, if you can even call them a person!” Mellie realized she was crying and subconsciously took Ben’s ring in her hand. “She was a beautiful, amazing person, and for whatever reason, this maniac took her from us.”
And then, before she could stop herself, she added in a quavering voice, “Don’t let them take you from us, too.”
***
Caradoc had been sitting in an angry silence while Mellie made her speech, but her last words made him look up in surprise. “Say that again?” he requested, pushing himself away from the edge of the cliff and coming to stand next to his friend.
Mellie looked mildly uncomfortable, and when she spoke, her voice was shaking. “Don’t let them take you from us, too,” she repeated, absently wiping at a tear on her cheek. “I mean, we all know how much you loved her. We all know how much she meant to you. And none of us blame you. But Car…we love you, too.” She sounded a bit steadier as she added, “If you let this destroy you, it’ll mean that whoever this maniac is has gained two lives instead of just one.”
“Mellie.” Caradoc didn’t know what else to say. He tried to think rationally for a moment. “You don’t know what it’s like. I feel like my entire reason for living is gone. And it is.”
“No, it isn’t.” Mellie could be very intense when she tried, and apparently, right now, she was trying. “She was not the only beautiful thing in your life. She may have shone the brightest, but she was not the only beautiful thing. Look at your family. Your father. Your grandmother…”
“Mam-gu,” Caradoc corrected automatically, not thinking about how pointless the correction was. Mellie brushed it off like a bothersome fly.
“…and us. And, Car, you have something left to fight for.”
Caradoc gave Mellie a skeptical look. “What’s that?”
The look on her face now frightened him. It actually frightened him. “Revenge,” she said plainly. “It’s not the best reason to live, but it is a reason. And that’s what you need. Caradoc Dearborn, you need to live.”
If nothing else, she had scared him into thinking a little bit more. At least about the revenge idea. “I’ll think about it,” he stated vaguely, looking back at the sea. “I’ll certainly think about it.”
“Good.” Mellie started backing away. “I need to Apparate back home before my mother thinks something horrible has happened and sends my brothers after me. Just promise me, Car, that you won’t let yourself be destroyed before spring term starts?”
Caradoc found it exceedingly hard to meet her eyes, but he finally did. “I promise,” he said. And he meant it.
((Dunno if it's a tear-jerker, but it sure took it's sweet time getting written!))
They still were.
It hadn’t snowed near his house yet, but it had rained, and the grass was wet as Caradoc sat down, staring out at the gray sea. He dangled his legs over the edge of the cliff and, for once in his life, tried his hardest not to think. If I think, I’ll go mad, he said to himself, but his methodology wasn’t working. All he could think about was how Dallas had tasted when he last kissed her. How her eyes twinkled when she smiled at him. How she’d finally learned to trust that his feelings for her were genuine.
There was a lump in his throat as the thoughts kept parading in front of his face. How she never should have been alone last Sunday. How he’d failed her…failed to keep her safe like he always promised he would. How frightened she must have been when…
He stopped. He knew what the next thought would be, and it wasn’t a safe one. At least not what everyone else would think was a safe one. He flicked a pebble off the edge of the cliff and watched it fall, but before he could even consider following it, a loud crack and the sound of footsteps distracted him.
***
It had taken nearly an hour of bargaining to convince her mother that Apparating to Caradoc’s house would be completely safe, and even longer for Mellie to convince her mother to let her go almost immediately after getting home from the train station. Mrs. Bones was very cautious about her daughter’s safety, especially after reading that Dallas Zeller had been in Hufflepuff as well. Edgar, however, who was perpetually on their mother’s good side, had stepped in and assured her that Mellie could take care of herself. And so, off she went to Wales.
When she arrived and saw Caradoc sitting at the edge of the cliff, she thought the worst, but he didn’t seem to be moving, either towards or away from his current position. She moved towards him quietly and sat down gingerly in the wet grass, a few inches back from the edge of the cliff. I’m not as crazy as you are, she thought, nudging him and smiling in greeting.
He didn’t look at her.
Mellie tried again, this time nudging him a little harder. “Hey, Car,” she stated. “Alright?”
Caradoc simply sighed.
“I never realized you had such a view,” Mellie added softly. “Why, I’ll bet you can see all the way to Ireland when the weather isn’t this horrid.”
“Yeah.” He still didn’t look at Mellie, but at least he was talking. “Yeah, you can.”
“It must be something else in the springtime.” They sat silently for a moment, but Mellie found it quite unbearable. When she looked back on it later, she would kick herself for changing the subject so abruptly, but she could think of nothing else to do but to put her hand on her friend’s shoulder and say, “It’s awful about Dallas.”
“Awful, you say? Come on, Mellie.” Now Caradoc looked up and Mellie could see that his jaw was set like he was about to fly into a temper. She’d only ever seen him do that once before, and she did not want to see it again, but it seemed there was little else to do. Caradoc turned to her, eyes flashing. “I chased after her for six years. We finally had a real relationship this fall. We were in love, and then, just before Christmas…Christmas, Mellie!…some psychotic bastard kidnaps and murders her, and hangs her high on this flagpole like she’s some sort of prize kill.” He glared at Mellie silently before adding, “I don’t think ‘awful’ is quite strong enough of a word.”
“Well, what word would you use, then?” Mellie challenged, her own temper rising. When Caradoc didn’t answer, she jumped to her feet. “Fine. If you won’t say it, I will. It’s awful. It’s horrid. It sucks, bites, blows and all of those other ‘polite’ expressions.” She was nearly shouting by now. “It’s not polite, for crying out loud! Nothing about the situation is polite! She was butchered, and whoever did it is a purely disgusting and horrible person, if you can even call them a person!” Mellie realized she was crying and subconsciously took Ben’s ring in her hand. “She was a beautiful, amazing person, and for whatever reason, this maniac took her from us.”
And then, before she could stop herself, she added in a quavering voice, “Don’t let them take you from us, too.”
***
Caradoc had been sitting in an angry silence while Mellie made her speech, but her last words made him look up in surprise. “Say that again?” he requested, pushing himself away from the edge of the cliff and coming to stand next to his friend.
Mellie looked mildly uncomfortable, and when she spoke, her voice was shaking. “Don’t let them take you from us, too,” she repeated, absently wiping at a tear on her cheek. “I mean, we all know how much you loved her. We all know how much she meant to you. And none of us blame you. But Car…we love you, too.” She sounded a bit steadier as she added, “If you let this destroy you, it’ll mean that whoever this maniac is has gained two lives instead of just one.”
“Mellie.” Caradoc didn’t know what else to say. He tried to think rationally for a moment. “You don’t know what it’s like. I feel like my entire reason for living is gone. And it is.”
“No, it isn’t.” Mellie could be very intense when she tried, and apparently, right now, she was trying. “She was not the only beautiful thing in your life. She may have shone the brightest, but she was not the only beautiful thing. Look at your family. Your father. Your grandmother…”
“Mam-gu,” Caradoc corrected automatically, not thinking about how pointless the correction was. Mellie brushed it off like a bothersome fly.
“…and us. And, Car, you have something left to fight for.”
Caradoc gave Mellie a skeptical look. “What’s that?”
The look on her face now frightened him. It actually frightened him. “Revenge,” she said plainly. “It’s not the best reason to live, but it is a reason. And that’s what you need. Caradoc Dearborn, you need to live.”
If nothing else, she had scared him into thinking a little bit more. At least about the revenge idea. “I’ll think about it,” he stated vaguely, looking back at the sea. “I’ll certainly think about it.”
“Good.” Mellie started backing away. “I need to Apparate back home before my mother thinks something horrible has happened and sends my brothers after me. Just promise me, Car, that you won’t let yourself be destroyed before spring term starts?”
Caradoc found it exceedingly hard to meet her eyes, but he finally did. “I promise,” he said. And he meant it.
((Dunno if it's a tear-jerker, but it sure took it's sweet time getting written!))