[Benny/Ravi] - all that and not even the courtesy to be angry
Who:
Beniamino
Ravindra
When: Saturday, July 2nd
Where: Inanna's
Rating & Warnings: PG-13
STOP MAKING THAT FACE BENNY.
The Sergeant's goddaughter could take a long walk of Tartessos' shortest pier, for all Benny was concerned. He'd made the first mistake of writing her, a terrifying move that had spurred him to spill a mess of ink all over himself and his bed. What followed was equally uncomfortable. She didn't know how to stop writing back. It had finally dawned on him later that he didn't need to write anything at all, but by that time Owen had told him she'd been upset and stopped replying to him. If Amelia Varista didn't have such a Cita-damned big mouth, he might have used the opportunity to his advantage. Instead, he'd only been afraid.
Ravindra was a clear-cut man on the surface. If he talked about Amelia, he'd leave. If he knew he'd talked to Amelia, he'd leave. If Benny asked too many questions, he'd leave. He had a suspicion if Ravindra was wise to being drugged, he'd leave, too. The boy had already decided to keep the sergeant around. Shiri would be suspicious if he suddenly lost a paying customer. Instead, Benny piled all of his eggs in one basket. He'd be extra sweet and get Ravindra to care about him. He'd have all his information without any scheming then. And while it might have been the smartest decision, he'd decided to tell him about his conversation with Amelia. If he could get past that, it wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass later. As many crocodile tears as he needed to shed, he would.
Benny reminded himself of this cunning plan the moment he'd started to doze. Sleeping was inevitable, but he'd at least had the good sense to curl himself against Ravindra's side instead of drifting off wherever he landed this time. The constant stench of tobacco floating past his nose kept him aware at odd intervals, random thoughts drifting by in his mind. He was hungry. Did Gomer still have that scarf? He had to tell Ravindra about Amelia. The last thought made him wake fully, though he didn't yet open his eyes. Maybe if he was lazy enough, he could avoid it.
Soon, though, a tingle started in his nose. He shifted around to try and avoid it, burying his face into the crook of Ravindra's neck more, but the stronger scent of cigarettes only seemed to irritate it. Finally, he was forced to break away suddenly, and rolled away to let out a loud sneeze. Another one followed immediately, and then a final one after a few sniffs at the air. He rubbed his nose with a frown and turned to look at his customer sheepishly, internally annoyed with himself.
Ravi thought that maybe he should have been suspicious about Benny's behaviour, but found he didn't care. It was nice. Either he'd find out the reason for it, and he could react appropriately, or he wouldn't, and he could just enjoy it for what it was.
In some ways, Ravi's life had gotten marginally better over the past week. He could be reasonably certain he wasn't going to get executed for treason in the near future. Anson was out of his hair and that was great. But on the other hand, he still hadn't patched up that last fight with Alex yet, and now Amelia wasn't talking to him, and she was potentially about to start dating a naga. Stressful. Benny was, as always, a welcome distraction from all of that. What Ravi really paid him for was the privilege of not having to think about the rest of his life for a few hours.
Benny's sudden squirming caught him off-guard, but when he rolled away to sneeze, Ravi just chuckled. "I thought you liked the smoke," he teased.
"I do," he mumbled as he took up his former post. Ravindra was warm and comfortable. If he'd let himself, he might have slept right on through the other man getting up and leaving. He trusted his sergeant not to forget things like payment. An honest man, mostly. He drew a line down the other man's chest with his fingertip as he considered his task. Even if he tried to weigh Ravindra down to keep from leaving eventually, he knew he was strong enough to pick him up and set him aside. Ravi was shorter, but broader. It's probably what made him so stoic.
Was there any way to ease himself into this conversation? Benny didn't think so, but there was always trying to lighten his mood first. "Are all people from India as brown as you?" It was a stupid question, but meant to charm. Nobody expected a whore to be smart. He laid his hand flat against Ravindra's stomach, examining the difference in skintone. Maybe he was part Indian, too.
Ravi wrapped an arm around Benny as he melted to Ravi's side again. His fingers lingered on Benny's shoulder before drifting down to wrap around his ribs. The question didn't bother him, though he rarely thought of himself as "brown"--he'd take any excuse to talk about India. He blew out a cloud of smoke and answered, "Some lighter, some darker, but everyone is darker than in Europe."
"I wonder why," he mused. He would have asked simply 'why', but that might be rude. You can't just ask people why their entire country is brown! He couldn't protest Ravi's theory either, or he would betray his own fake accent. "It looks nice, either way."
The hand on his side was warm and heavy. Benny couldn't help but wonder if he was making this worse for himself in the long run. "It's very far from Tyrol, isn't it, love?" His whole family was merchants, he knew that much. His sister did the selling and Ravindra did the guarding. The ledgers were nice like that. "Maps don't make a lick of sense to me. One drawing for the entire world seems wrong."
The compliment got a half-smile. Best part about Benny: the flattery. "There is more sun in India," he said. Was there an origin story for why the people were dark? He couldn't think of any, but there probably was. There was one for everything.
"Very far, yes. My family came over land, by the Silk Road. It took us a year." A smoky pause. It seemed strange to him, somebody who didn't understand maps. Reading a map was one of the first things he'd learned how to do as a boy. "A map is like a model," he said, "so you can see everything at once. You never learned to read one?"
His brows flattened in familiar indignation. "You can't see the entire world at once!" Why would you want to? Then it would appear so small. It didn't make sense to Benny, but he didn't consider traveling. He'd never had that sort of responsibility laid on him. "Why would you even want to? You'd be less than a dot."
He knew he should have pressed Ravi more about his family, but he had priorities. Setting someone on the right track about maps seemed higher on the list. Somewhere below having Shiri force bamboo under his fingernails (or whatever she did to torture people she didn't like) was telling Ravindra. "There's no words on maps either." His eyebrows lifted as he gave his sergeant's chest a soothing pat. "Maybe maps are something different here than they are in India, love. That's all right."
"You cannot," he agreed. "That is why you need a map. To plan a long journey, you must be able to see where you will travel."
The comment about maps not having words got him to glance at Benny with an amused, crooked grin. "Have you ever seen a map? A real one?" To the tune of, "oh, you."
"Yes!" he hissed back, tone petulant. If it had been any other day, he wouldn't have minded being wrong. But the argument was good-natured and a distraction. The grin that split Ravi's face made it difficult to keep up his angry act, mouth twitching at the corners. "I have," he snorted and ducked his head back to Ravi's body to hide his own grin.
"It was big and it had pictures drawn on it. A lines, like this." He drew his finger across Ravindra's stomach several times one way, and then the other. "And a line from here," his fingertip brushed the other man's belly button and ran a zig zag line to one of his ribs, "to here."
Ah Benny stop being SO GODDAMN ADORABLE. "Stop," Ravi said, though it was drowned out by his laughter. Giggling, almost. Very undignified. "Stop. Stop!" His hand snapped out with that last one, catching Benny's wrist and pulling his fingers away from the path they traced. Ravi was, maybe, a little ticklish. Shh. There's a secret for you, Benny.
He breathed in, calming the laughter now that Benny's hand was safely contained. "I do not think you feel as strongly about maps as you say."
An interesting development. He waited patiently for his sergeant to calm down, expression nothing but amused by his reaction. Ticklish? At the first loosening of fingers around his wrist he yanked his hand away and resettled it to where it had been before and kept it still. "I think you don't want to admit I'm right, love." His eyebrows lifted in a smug expression. "Because I am."
His sergeant, ticklish? Really? His fingers scraped at the skin beneath them lightly, experimentally.
He tensed when Benny pulled his hand away, but relaxed when he realized that it kept still. He traced his own fingers over Benny's ribs; was he ticklish, too? Probably not. "I think I would know a bit more about maps than you," he replied, jokingly matter-of-fact, as he brought his cigarette back to his mouth.
His mouth pulled up at the corners as he forced down another giggle, and his hand darted for Benny's again, this time laying over it, flattening it against him. "Stop," he said again through his teeth, trying to be serious but, really, failing.
He wasn't. A trail of goosepimples rose in the wake of the touch, but it didn't feel strange. A ticklish whore might have been a novelty, though. His look softened to a smile at Ravindra's attempts to be serious. Who would have thought that such a simple touch - one he'd had at his disposal the entire time - could turn Ravindra into a playful man.
It was a shame he was about to spoil all of his progress. "Love," he started, smile shrinking to something more wistful as he glanced away. "There's something I've got to tell you."
Oh? Those were usually not good words. The smile faded from Ravi's face pretty fast, and his hand fell away from Benny's side. "Hm?"
The sudden loss of Ravi's arm on him left the spot cold. He pushed himself up, a hand pressing into the bed on either side of the sergeant. If he pinned him down, there was less of a chance he'd leave. "There's no nice way to say this," he said, more to himself than Ravi. His gaze darted to the scarf that spilled from a drawer, then to the man below him. "Your goddaughter was writing about clockwork cats on the ledgers and I wrote to her without realising it." He winced as he said it, eyes trailing away again.
Ravi stared up at him, puzzled, until Benny let the words spill out. Then, he was extra puzzled.
He pushed himself up on his elbows, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and putting it out in the ashtray on the nightstand. "You wrote to her?" he questioned, with an incredulous look. On the one hand, he didn't want Amelia discovering what went on between himself and Benny, but on the other hand, he was pretty sure Benny would know better than to let that slip to her. An innocent mistake didn't seem like the kind of thing that warranted a panicked confession like this.
"I didn't mean to!" He frowned as he said it, leaning back to give Ravindra breathing room. He had not immediately pushed his way out of bed. That was promising. "I blacked the whole thing out with ink and she kept writing to me to ask me what my problem was!" Really, that girl didn't know when to quit. Her godfather was a sergeant of the guard. Hadn't he taught her anything about Stranger Danger?
Benny sucked in a breath and pushed forward. "I told her to stop writing to me," he ticked each point off on a finger, leaning only on one hand now. "I told her that I was a terrible person, and that I hated cats, and that I drowned them or something, and that I'd eat them if she didn't stop writing back." He sat up proper and spread his hands, clearly distressed over the situation. "Really love, I did try to make her stop but it took her forever until she did." His gaze moved away from Ravindra with a flinch, as if he expected to be slapped. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, voice hoarse. His nose felt hot along with the rest of his face. If needed, the tears would come quickly.
...How did you even respond to something like this? Ravi fell back to the bed, pressing his hands over his eyes. Dammit, this was the sort of thing he came here to get away from. "Calm down," he said, just because he didn't want to deal with Benny bursting into tears or something before he had a chance to think.
How did he even feel about Benny talking to Amelia? He liked Benny well enough, but certainly didn't want the kid around his goddaughter. Having your family meet your whore was awkward, just a little. And Amelia had a big mouth, and there was plenty about himself that he didn't want getting back to Inanna's because, again, awkward. His life outside of here and his life inside were completely separate, and he liked it that way.
"Next time," he said, "don't say anything. She does not know when to stop talking. You will only make it worse."
Next time? Was he not angry? He fucked like he was furious at the world sometimes. Benny had taken the hint to mean he had an explosive temper when pushed. A lukewarm reaction was harder to deal with, but he still sniffled while Ravi spoke.
"There. There won't be a next time, love," he said hoarsely. His eyes trailed away as one tear fell. He'd worked enough to get them going, no point in wasting them now. 'I'll be more careful. I just didn't want to fuck anything up." A surprisingly honest statement from him, though it was meant as a lie. He cringed after he said it and turned away, looking embarrassed. "For you."
Well that was because he was furious at the world sometimes, and he did have an explosive temper, but this? This wasn't pushing it. Maybe if Benny had confessed to convincing Amelia to come to Inanna's herself, that would be pushing it. Not this.
"Good." And then he realized a different quality to Benny's voice and moved his hands aside to look up at him. Was he crying? Damn it. Why was he crying? What were you even supposed to do when your whore started crying? "I am not angry with you, Benny." So stop crying!
"You're not?" What the hell was he crying for? This was almost disappointing. He'd told Owen he was going to be hanged. It was enlightening, however. Benny nodded with another sniff and wiped away his tears. You couldn't just stop crying as quickly as you started. Where was the authenticity in that? He took a deep, shuddering breath and stared hard at Ravindra's shoulder as if he were willing himself to calm down. Another few sniffles went by, but no more tears. "I thought you'd be so upset." His eyes wandered to the sergeant's, then darted away again.
If he was only going to get this mild of a reaction when talking to Amelia, who's to say he couldn't 'screw up' a few more times? It was worth looking into. "I thought you'd leave," he mumbled, somewhere between looking guilty and pouting. He laid a brown finger against Ravindra's darker arm and sighed. "I didn't want you to find out some other way either, love."
"I am not," he repeated, pushing himself up to a sitting position. But if Benny had said more to Amelia than 'stop talking to me!' he might be. So, really, it was a legitimate fear. And then there was the way he'd reacted the last time Amelia had come up between them...but he'd been angry about that for a completely different reason.
And suddenly he was stuck in awkward-mode. Don't-know-what-to-say mode. This was why he didn't like bringing his life outside Inanna's inside. He had to figure out what to say to comfort Benny, how to respond to the situation, how to deal with the awkwardness of knowing that Amelia had, however briefly, spoken to him at some point. What could he say that would make this NOT COMPLETELY OVERWHELMINGLY AWKWARD next time he showed up?
Nothing, that was what. He'd either have to get over it, or stop coming. And he couldn't just stop coming because, goddammit, Benny, why were you making that face, stop making that face. "I won't leave," he said, looking down at Benny's hand on his arm instead of up at THAT FACE STOP MAKING IT.
Sucker, Benny thought, smiling hesitantly at Ravindra. I didn't even have to try.
"Good," he said quietly, then hooked a finger under the other man's chin and leaned forward to murmur against his lips before he kissed him. "I don't want you to leave either." His smile was shy as he leaned back, his eyes roaming all of Ravindra's face that he could see. A hand raised again to smooth down those big concerned brows.
VERY CONCERNED and deeply furrowed, even after the kiss. "I should go, though," he said, still not looking at Benny's face. Because he just kept thinking about Amelia and how she wasn't talking to him and how she'd not-talk-to-him even more if she found out about Benny. That made it really hard to stay in bed with him.
He threw the sheets aside and rose to find his clothes and get dressed.
If Benny's eyes could have launched daggers at the sergeant's back, they would have. He glowered while the other man was turned around to gather his things and yanked a blanket around his shoulders with an angry snap. This would go much easier if Ravindra would at least look at him. His eyes fell to the foot of the bed, spying his cloak. He leaned for it and bunched it up in his arms, watching the other man dress with a small pout. "Will you come back?"
The material was softer than he expected. Wool, upon closer inspection. He held up a section and rubbed it against his cheek. Soft. It smelled of cigarettes and his sergeant, and made him smile besides himself. He tucked it up under his chin and hugged it to his chest.
That was everything except his... Where the hell was his cloak? He paused in the midst of buttoning his cuffs and double-checked the floor for it. Nope. Gone. He could just leave without it, but what if someone found it? Augh, where was it--
He looked up at Benny's question--there it was. His brow furrowed again. "Yes," he answered, moving over to snatch his cloak away.
He didn't, though. He stopped just after starting to move for it and held his hand out instead.
It wasn't quite black. More like a grey. His inspection of the cloak continued, oblivious of the hand out to receive it. There were strange fibers in it. Animal hair. He set abut picking a few of them out carefully and flicked them away, then hugged it to him again to rub his face against the fabric again. It was warm and fun to touch. Maybe he'd put some money away to get a blanket of the same kind for the colder nights. He opened his mouth to ask where Ravindra had his made. "Wh-"
The sergeant was fully dressed and waiting for his last accessory. His mouth hung open for a moment, stunned, before his face flushed dark with genuine embarassment. "Sorry," he murmured, and held the bundle of fabric out. His chin tucked almost to his chest, looking away guiltily. "It's really soft."
He waited, impatiently, for Benny to notice him and hand over the damn cloak. By the time Benny turned to him, his face was a full-on glower. The apology didn't soften it.
He took the cloak, turning away as he wrapped it around his shoulders and clasped it. After that, he dug his coinpurse out of his pocket and took out Benny's pay, which he walked over to set on the nightstand. He turned to leave, stopped mid-step, and turned to Benny with a sigh. "Would you like one?" he asked, his words measured and deliberate, his eyes on the boy's face. It was a genuine offer, despite lingering annoyance.
Benny had to clench his jaw to keep from returning the glare. Being paid to be nothing but accommodating didn't mean his charges didn't get on his last nerve sometime. He'd put on an award winning performance only to have Ravindra run away and give him nasty looks for playing with his cloak. It didn't mean those looks weren't intimidating, though, so he stared placidly and silently as his sergeant moved about. A pillow took the place of the cloak, arms wrapped around it loosely.
The question was a surprise. His brows lifted first, followed by another darkening of his cheeks. Don't smile, he told himself. Ravindra was in the mood to hate fun, it would probably only infuriate him more. He found he couldn't stop himself, though, and nodded. "Please."
"Alright." He hesitated. That didn't feel like enough. He didn't normally run out on Benny so quickly, and even if the problem was ALL HIM, people tended to take personal offense when he did things like that. He didn't want to leave with Benny feeling that way.
Apologies were not his style. Instead, he just tried to show that he wasn't actually mad. He moved to the bed, leaning on it with one hand while the other reached out to tilt Benny's jaw so Ravi's mouth could meet his. "I will see you next week," he said, after he pulled away from the kiss.
His hand raised to Ravi's cheek when their mouths met, fingers slipping down his jaw and shoulder when the other man pulled away. "All right," he said quietly, and smiled. "I'll be here." Where else would he go?
He tugged his blanket tighter around him and adjusted the pillow in his lap. "Stay safe, sergeant. That's an order."
That got an amused half-smile. "Yes, sir," he replied. And with that he slid away from Benny and walked out, back into his real life.
Beniamino
Ravindra
When: Saturday, July 2nd
Where: Inanna's
Rating & Warnings: PG-13
STOP MAKING THAT FACE BENNY.
The Sergeant's goddaughter could take a long walk of Tartessos' shortest pier, for all Benny was concerned. He'd made the first mistake of writing her, a terrifying move that had spurred him to spill a mess of ink all over himself and his bed. What followed was equally uncomfortable. She didn't know how to stop writing back. It had finally dawned on him later that he didn't need to write anything at all, but by that time Owen had told him she'd been upset and stopped replying to him. If Amelia Varista didn't have such a Cita-damned big mouth, he might have used the opportunity to his advantage. Instead, he'd only been afraid.
Ravindra was a clear-cut man on the surface. If he talked about Amelia, he'd leave. If he knew he'd talked to Amelia, he'd leave. If Benny asked too many questions, he'd leave. He had a suspicion if Ravindra was wise to being drugged, he'd leave, too. The boy had already decided to keep the sergeant around. Shiri would be suspicious if he suddenly lost a paying customer. Instead, Benny piled all of his eggs in one basket. He'd be extra sweet and get Ravindra to care about him. He'd have all his information without any scheming then. And while it might have been the smartest decision, he'd decided to tell him about his conversation with Amelia. If he could get past that, it wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass later. As many crocodile tears as he needed to shed, he would.
Benny reminded himself of this cunning plan the moment he'd started to doze. Sleeping was inevitable, but he'd at least had the good sense to curl himself against Ravindra's side instead of drifting off wherever he landed this time. The constant stench of tobacco floating past his nose kept him aware at odd intervals, random thoughts drifting by in his mind. He was hungry. Did Gomer still have that scarf? He had to tell Ravindra about Amelia. The last thought made him wake fully, though he didn't yet open his eyes. Maybe if he was lazy enough, he could avoid it.
Soon, though, a tingle started in his nose. He shifted around to try and avoid it, burying his face into the crook of Ravindra's neck more, but the stronger scent of cigarettes only seemed to irritate it. Finally, he was forced to break away suddenly, and rolled away to let out a loud sneeze. Another one followed immediately, and then a final one after a few sniffs at the air. He rubbed his nose with a frown and turned to look at his customer sheepishly, internally annoyed with himself.
Ravi thought that maybe he should have been suspicious about Benny's behaviour, but found he didn't care. It was nice. Either he'd find out the reason for it, and he could react appropriately, or he wouldn't, and he could just enjoy it for what it was.
In some ways, Ravi's life had gotten marginally better over the past week. He could be reasonably certain he wasn't going to get executed for treason in the near future. Anson was out of his hair and that was great. But on the other hand, he still hadn't patched up that last fight with Alex yet, and now Amelia wasn't talking to him, and she was potentially about to start dating a naga. Stressful. Benny was, as always, a welcome distraction from all of that. What Ravi really paid him for was the privilege of not having to think about the rest of his life for a few hours.
Benny's sudden squirming caught him off-guard, but when he rolled away to sneeze, Ravi just chuckled. "I thought you liked the smoke," he teased.
"I do," he mumbled as he took up his former post. Ravindra was warm and comfortable. If he'd let himself, he might have slept right on through the other man getting up and leaving. He trusted his sergeant not to forget things like payment. An honest man, mostly. He drew a line down the other man's chest with his fingertip as he considered his task. Even if he tried to weigh Ravindra down to keep from leaving eventually, he knew he was strong enough to pick him up and set him aside. Ravi was shorter, but broader. It's probably what made him so stoic.
Was there any way to ease himself into this conversation? Benny didn't think so, but there was always trying to lighten his mood first. "Are all people from India as brown as you?" It was a stupid question, but meant to charm. Nobody expected a whore to be smart. He laid his hand flat against Ravindra's stomach, examining the difference in skintone. Maybe he was part Indian, too.
Ravi wrapped an arm around Benny as he melted to Ravi's side again. His fingers lingered on Benny's shoulder before drifting down to wrap around his ribs. The question didn't bother him, though he rarely thought of himself as "brown"--he'd take any excuse to talk about India. He blew out a cloud of smoke and answered, "Some lighter, some darker, but everyone is darker than in Europe."
"I wonder why," he mused. He would have asked simply 'why', but that might be rude. You can't just ask people why their entire country is brown! He couldn't protest Ravi's theory either, or he would betray his own fake accent. "It looks nice, either way."
The hand on his side was warm and heavy. Benny couldn't help but wonder if he was making this worse for himself in the long run. "It's very far from Tyrol, isn't it, love?" His whole family was merchants, he knew that much. His sister did the selling and Ravindra did the guarding. The ledgers were nice like that. "Maps don't make a lick of sense to me. One drawing for the entire world seems wrong."
The compliment got a half-smile. Best part about Benny: the flattery. "There is more sun in India," he said. Was there an origin story for why the people were dark? He couldn't think of any, but there probably was. There was one for everything.
"Very far, yes. My family came over land, by the Silk Road. It took us a year." A smoky pause. It seemed strange to him, somebody who didn't understand maps. Reading a map was one of the first things he'd learned how to do as a boy. "A map is like a model," he said, "so you can see everything at once. You never learned to read one?"
His brows flattened in familiar indignation. "You can't see the entire world at once!" Why would you want to? Then it would appear so small. It didn't make sense to Benny, but he didn't consider traveling. He'd never had that sort of responsibility laid on him. "Why would you even want to? You'd be less than a dot."
He knew he should have pressed Ravi more about his family, but he had priorities. Setting someone on the right track about maps seemed higher on the list. Somewhere below having Shiri force bamboo under his fingernails (or whatever she did to torture people she didn't like) was telling Ravindra. "There's no words on maps either." His eyebrows lifted as he gave his sergeant's chest a soothing pat. "Maybe maps are something different here than they are in India, love. That's all right."
"You cannot," he agreed. "That is why you need a map. To plan a long journey, you must be able to see where you will travel."
The comment about maps not having words got him to glance at Benny with an amused, crooked grin. "Have you ever seen a map? A real one?" To the tune of, "oh, you."
"Yes!" he hissed back, tone petulant. If it had been any other day, he wouldn't have minded being wrong. But the argument was good-natured and a distraction. The grin that split Ravi's face made it difficult to keep up his angry act, mouth twitching at the corners. "I have," he snorted and ducked his head back to Ravi's body to hide his own grin.
"It was big and it had pictures drawn on it. A lines, like this." He drew his finger across Ravindra's stomach several times one way, and then the other. "And a line from here," his fingertip brushed the other man's belly button and ran a zig zag line to one of his ribs, "to here."
Ah Benny stop being SO GODDAMN ADORABLE. "Stop," Ravi said, though it was drowned out by his laughter. Giggling, almost. Very undignified. "Stop. Stop!" His hand snapped out with that last one, catching Benny's wrist and pulling his fingers away from the path they traced. Ravi was, maybe, a little ticklish. Shh. There's a secret for you, Benny.
He breathed in, calming the laughter now that Benny's hand was safely contained. "I do not think you feel as strongly about maps as you say."
An interesting development. He waited patiently for his sergeant to calm down, expression nothing but amused by his reaction. Ticklish? At the first loosening of fingers around his wrist he yanked his hand away and resettled it to where it had been before and kept it still. "I think you don't want to admit I'm right, love." His eyebrows lifted in a smug expression. "Because I am."
His sergeant, ticklish? Really? His fingers scraped at the skin beneath them lightly, experimentally.
He tensed when Benny pulled his hand away, but relaxed when he realized that it kept still. He traced his own fingers over Benny's ribs; was he ticklish, too? Probably not. "I think I would know a bit more about maps than you," he replied, jokingly matter-of-fact, as he brought his cigarette back to his mouth.
His mouth pulled up at the corners as he forced down another giggle, and his hand darted for Benny's again, this time laying over it, flattening it against him. "Stop," he said again through his teeth, trying to be serious but, really, failing.
He wasn't. A trail of goosepimples rose in the wake of the touch, but it didn't feel strange. A ticklish whore might have been a novelty, though. His look softened to a smile at Ravindra's attempts to be serious. Who would have thought that such a simple touch - one he'd had at his disposal the entire time - could turn Ravindra into a playful man.
It was a shame he was about to spoil all of his progress. "Love," he started, smile shrinking to something more wistful as he glanced away. "There's something I've got to tell you."
Oh? Those were usually not good words. The smile faded from Ravi's face pretty fast, and his hand fell away from Benny's side. "Hm?"
The sudden loss of Ravi's arm on him left the spot cold. He pushed himself up, a hand pressing into the bed on either side of the sergeant. If he pinned him down, there was less of a chance he'd leave. "There's no nice way to say this," he said, more to himself than Ravi. His gaze darted to the scarf that spilled from a drawer, then to the man below him. "Your goddaughter was writing about clockwork cats on the ledgers and I wrote to her without realising it." He winced as he said it, eyes trailing away again.
Ravi stared up at him, puzzled, until Benny let the words spill out. Then, he was extra puzzled.
He pushed himself up on his elbows, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and putting it out in the ashtray on the nightstand. "You wrote to her?" he questioned, with an incredulous look. On the one hand, he didn't want Amelia discovering what went on between himself and Benny, but on the other hand, he was pretty sure Benny would know better than to let that slip to her. An innocent mistake didn't seem like the kind of thing that warranted a panicked confession like this.
"I didn't mean to!" He frowned as he said it, leaning back to give Ravindra breathing room. He had not immediately pushed his way out of bed. That was promising. "I blacked the whole thing out with ink and she kept writing to me to ask me what my problem was!" Really, that girl didn't know when to quit. Her godfather was a sergeant of the guard. Hadn't he taught her anything about Stranger Danger?
Benny sucked in a breath and pushed forward. "I told her to stop writing to me," he ticked each point off on a finger, leaning only on one hand now. "I told her that I was a terrible person, and that I hated cats, and that I drowned them or something, and that I'd eat them if she didn't stop writing back." He sat up proper and spread his hands, clearly distressed over the situation. "Really love, I did try to make her stop but it took her forever until she did." His gaze moved away from Ravindra with a flinch, as if he expected to be slapped. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, voice hoarse. His nose felt hot along with the rest of his face. If needed, the tears would come quickly.
...How did you even respond to something like this? Ravi fell back to the bed, pressing his hands over his eyes. Dammit, this was the sort of thing he came here to get away from. "Calm down," he said, just because he didn't want to deal with Benny bursting into tears or something before he had a chance to think.
How did he even feel about Benny talking to Amelia? He liked Benny well enough, but certainly didn't want the kid around his goddaughter. Having your family meet your whore was awkward, just a little. And Amelia had a big mouth, and there was plenty about himself that he didn't want getting back to Inanna's because, again, awkward. His life outside of here and his life inside were completely separate, and he liked it that way.
"Next time," he said, "don't say anything. She does not know when to stop talking. You will only make it worse."
Next time? Was he not angry? He fucked like he was furious at the world sometimes. Benny had taken the hint to mean he had an explosive temper when pushed. A lukewarm reaction was harder to deal with, but he still sniffled while Ravi spoke.
"There. There won't be a next time, love," he said hoarsely. His eyes trailed away as one tear fell. He'd worked enough to get them going, no point in wasting them now. 'I'll be more careful. I just didn't want to fuck anything up." A surprisingly honest statement from him, though it was meant as a lie. He cringed after he said it and turned away, looking embarrassed. "For you."
Well that was because he was furious at the world sometimes, and he did have an explosive temper, but this? This wasn't pushing it. Maybe if Benny had confessed to convincing Amelia to come to Inanna's herself, that would be pushing it. Not this.
"Good." And then he realized a different quality to Benny's voice and moved his hands aside to look up at him. Was he crying? Damn it. Why was he crying? What were you even supposed to do when your whore started crying? "I am not angry with you, Benny." So stop crying!
"You're not?" What the hell was he crying for? This was almost disappointing. He'd told Owen he was going to be hanged. It was enlightening, however. Benny nodded with another sniff and wiped away his tears. You couldn't just stop crying as quickly as you started. Where was the authenticity in that? He took a deep, shuddering breath and stared hard at Ravindra's shoulder as if he were willing himself to calm down. Another few sniffles went by, but no more tears. "I thought you'd be so upset." His eyes wandered to the sergeant's, then darted away again.
If he was only going to get this mild of a reaction when talking to Amelia, who's to say he couldn't 'screw up' a few more times? It was worth looking into. "I thought you'd leave," he mumbled, somewhere between looking guilty and pouting. He laid a brown finger against Ravindra's darker arm and sighed. "I didn't want you to find out some other way either, love."
"I am not," he repeated, pushing himself up to a sitting position. But if Benny had said more to Amelia than 'stop talking to me!' he might be. So, really, it was a legitimate fear. And then there was the way he'd reacted the last time Amelia had come up between them...but he'd been angry about that for a completely different reason.
And suddenly he was stuck in awkward-mode. Don't-know-what-to-say mode. This was why he didn't like bringing his life outside Inanna's inside. He had to figure out what to say to comfort Benny, how to respond to the situation, how to deal with the awkwardness of knowing that Amelia had, however briefly, spoken to him at some point. What could he say that would make this NOT COMPLETELY OVERWHELMINGLY AWKWARD next time he showed up?
Nothing, that was what. He'd either have to get over it, or stop coming. And he couldn't just stop coming because, goddammit, Benny, why were you making that face, stop making that face. "I won't leave," he said, looking down at Benny's hand on his arm instead of up at THAT FACE STOP MAKING IT.
Sucker, Benny thought, smiling hesitantly at Ravindra. I didn't even have to try.
"Good," he said quietly, then hooked a finger under the other man's chin and leaned forward to murmur against his lips before he kissed him. "I don't want you to leave either." His smile was shy as he leaned back, his eyes roaming all of Ravindra's face that he could see. A hand raised again to smooth down those big concerned brows.
VERY CONCERNED and deeply furrowed, even after the kiss. "I should go, though," he said, still not looking at Benny's face. Because he just kept thinking about Amelia and how she wasn't talking to him and how she'd not-talk-to-him even more if she found out about Benny. That made it really hard to stay in bed with him.
He threw the sheets aside and rose to find his clothes and get dressed.
If Benny's eyes could have launched daggers at the sergeant's back, they would have. He glowered while the other man was turned around to gather his things and yanked a blanket around his shoulders with an angry snap. This would go much easier if Ravindra would at least look at him. His eyes fell to the foot of the bed, spying his cloak. He leaned for it and bunched it up in his arms, watching the other man dress with a small pout. "Will you come back?"
The material was softer than he expected. Wool, upon closer inspection. He held up a section and rubbed it against his cheek. Soft. It smelled of cigarettes and his sergeant, and made him smile besides himself. He tucked it up under his chin and hugged it to his chest.
That was everything except his... Where the hell was his cloak? He paused in the midst of buttoning his cuffs and double-checked the floor for it. Nope. Gone. He could just leave without it, but what if someone found it? Augh, where was it--
He looked up at Benny's question--there it was. His brow furrowed again. "Yes," he answered, moving over to snatch his cloak away.
He didn't, though. He stopped just after starting to move for it and held his hand out instead.
It wasn't quite black. More like a grey. His inspection of the cloak continued, oblivious of the hand out to receive it. There were strange fibers in it. Animal hair. He set abut picking a few of them out carefully and flicked them away, then hugged it to him again to rub his face against the fabric again. It was warm and fun to touch. Maybe he'd put some money away to get a blanket of the same kind for the colder nights. He opened his mouth to ask where Ravindra had his made. "Wh-"
The sergeant was fully dressed and waiting for his last accessory. His mouth hung open for a moment, stunned, before his face flushed dark with genuine embarassment. "Sorry," he murmured, and held the bundle of fabric out. His chin tucked almost to his chest, looking away guiltily. "It's really soft."
He waited, impatiently, for Benny to notice him and hand over the damn cloak. By the time Benny turned to him, his face was a full-on glower. The apology didn't soften it.
He took the cloak, turning away as he wrapped it around his shoulders and clasped it. After that, he dug his coinpurse out of his pocket and took out Benny's pay, which he walked over to set on the nightstand. He turned to leave, stopped mid-step, and turned to Benny with a sigh. "Would you like one?" he asked, his words measured and deliberate, his eyes on the boy's face. It was a genuine offer, despite lingering annoyance.
Benny had to clench his jaw to keep from returning the glare. Being paid to be nothing but accommodating didn't mean his charges didn't get on his last nerve sometime. He'd put on an award winning performance only to have Ravindra run away and give him nasty looks for playing with his cloak. It didn't mean those looks weren't intimidating, though, so he stared placidly and silently as his sergeant moved about. A pillow took the place of the cloak, arms wrapped around it loosely.
The question was a surprise. His brows lifted first, followed by another darkening of his cheeks. Don't smile, he told himself. Ravindra was in the mood to hate fun, it would probably only infuriate him more. He found he couldn't stop himself, though, and nodded. "Please."
"Alright." He hesitated. That didn't feel like enough. He didn't normally run out on Benny so quickly, and even if the problem was ALL HIM, people tended to take personal offense when he did things like that. He didn't want to leave with Benny feeling that way.
Apologies were not his style. Instead, he just tried to show that he wasn't actually mad. He moved to the bed, leaning on it with one hand while the other reached out to tilt Benny's jaw so Ravi's mouth could meet his. "I will see you next week," he said, after he pulled away from the kiss.
His hand raised to Ravi's cheek when their mouths met, fingers slipping down his jaw and shoulder when the other man pulled away. "All right," he said quietly, and smiled. "I'll be here." Where else would he go?
He tugged his blanket tighter around him and adjusted the pillow in his lap. "Stay safe, sergeant. That's an order."
That got an amused half-smile. "Yes, sir," he replied. And with that he slid away from Benny and walked out, back into his real life.