Heya!
I wrote a fic! Well it's more a snippet, I think. But here you go, I guess it's kinda pre Hal/Guy.
Hi, this is my first fic in a while but my evil sister said she wont post more of her Tim/Kon unless I made a snippet. Yeah, you know who you are! So here goes. Oh and I think I’m supposed to say that none of these people belong to me and all that ( Read more... )
Hi, this is my first fic in a while but my evil sister said she wont post more of her Tim/Kon unless I made a snippet. Yeah, you know who you are! So here goes. Oh and I think I’m supposed to say that none of these people belong to me and all that ( Read more... )
Comments 5
Ahem. Let me just regain control of myself.
*yay!*
I really liked this. It's a very nice point of view, and I don't think your writing is at all childish. Also, I'd love to read a fic where for some reason Guy has to pretend to be the GL corps pimp. Haw haw.
All that said, I'm gonna make some comments.
Hal wasn’t entirely sure why he’d let Guy drag him here with the other lanterns Should this be Lanterns, with a capital?
Further along the bar he could see Guy trying to get Kyle to try the local brew, without much luck, the stuff was a toxic looking pink in colour and seemed to move in the wooden mugs. Either use a semicolon after 'luck' or say 'as the stuff' etc.
Maybe there was more to him than what meets the eye. Um, tense agreement. 'what met the eye.'
He was broken from his thoughts by the sounds of yelling, next thing a body went flying over his head and the brawl was under way. After 'yelling', maybe a semicolon, or a new sentence with 'next thing.'
Slipping around the edges of the ( ... )
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*pats self on back*
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