My poem, please be gentle with me ;p

[goldspleen]

You sang to me mother.

Of soft green lands and clear blue sky. And the place

Where warm wind blows on your skin like a lover's kiss.

But there was no soft grass, where I crawled on all fours

And there was no light in his blue eyes when I felt

A blow on my skin.

My lover’s caress.

You sang to me of God.

But this god, he must be deaf.

For my prayers were

Comments

[the_moonmoth]

These are lovely, and fit very well with Sansa (it actually says in GoT that Sansa writes her own poetry). You should post at sansa_sandor -- we had a discussion recently about poetry and SanSan, and there are others out there writing SanSan poetry so you're not alone :)

And your English is unbelievably good -- well done. Just two tiny errors I noticed.

Where warm wind blows on your skin like a lovers kiss.

lover's kiss (possessive apostrophe)

But there was no soft grass, where I crawled on all four

all fours

♥

[goldspleen]

Thank you so much :) I was so nervous about this, it's my very first post and something so very personal... I really wanted to know if this is a total crap, but still - it would hurt. I'm so happy you didn't say that :)

Thanks for your corrections, I'll fix it right away!

Yay!! I'm so happy :D