ST Fic: Five times Spock did NOT want a pet, and one time he did (5/6)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Five
Kirk: Spock!
Spock: Yes, Captain?
Kirk: Be one with the horse.
Spock: Yes, Captain.
-Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
“Why don’t we rent horses and ride some of the trails?”
Spock thought that McCoy looked less than enthusiastic at this suggestion from Jim. They were trying to decide how to spend their first morning in Yosemite National Park. Under normal circumstances he might have seconded Jim just to irritate the doctor, but instead he waited, hoping that whatever McCoy was about to say would dissuade their captain.
“Jim, you know I’m not a great horseman like you are, and I hate to think of all the things that might happen to us, riding around without a guide. I’ve heard that the horses you rent at places like this are never well trained, and throw people all the time. Why can’t we just go fishing?”
“Bones, we’re in a national park. We could go fishing anywhere . . . we usually do. But this shore leave we’re doing something different, and we only have a few days to see as much of this place as we can. Spock’s never been here. Don’t you want him to see as much as possible?”
“Sure. My idea of a relaxing shore leave is to have that green-blooded alien watch me make an idiot of myself on a horse. It’ll be a laugh for him and you, because he’s probably a great horseman, too. I bet they learn horseback riding in Vulcan kindergarten! Heck, he even looks like a horse!”
“Doctor, I do not look like a terrestrial equine, if for no other reason than that I am a biped, and the horse is a quadruped.”
“Don’t you think he looks like a horse, Jim? “
“Well . . .” Jim was staring with his head cocked to the side. Spock had always wondered why humans did that. He had experimented several times, and looking with one’s head slightly tilted to the side did not change one’s perspective dramatically.
“Look at his long face, Jim, and those teeth. I swear I never noticed it before, but you really look like a horse, Spock. Were there any horses in your ances-”
“It is immaterial, Doctor. Your assumption that young Vulcans learn to ride horses is unwarranted, as there are no horses on Vulcan. I have never ridden a horse, therefore I am forced to agree with you that we should find an alternate form of entertainment for this morning.”
“You’ve never ridden a horse?!” Jim gaped at him. “That decides it. We are going to ride horses this morning. Spock has to get a chance to ride a horse, Bones!”
Doctor McCoy, with the characteristic fickleness of humans, now had a wicked glint in his eyes. “Yeah, I wanna see this. I’ve never seen a Vulcan learning to ride a horse…in fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a Vulcan learning anything besides their precious logic. I just changed my vote to riding horses, so you’re outvoted, Spock. Let’s go.”
Spock decided the most logical course of action in this situation was to bow to the inevitable, so he agreed.
Had it really been inevitable that they ride horses? He might have insisted that he would not ride, and they could go by themselves, but that would have been immature, even by human standards. Perhaps this was the only decision he could have made, then. In fact, since he had made this decision, it was the only choice he could have made according to the philosopher-
A sharp jolt brought Spock out of his reverie. Apparently his horse had felt it necessary (again) to scrape Spock’s left leg against a tree, and this could be considered an improvement, since half an hour before it had refused to move at all. Spock looked at the two men ahead of him. Both had turned their horses and were coming back down the trail. Jim looked torn between amusement at Spock’s plight and frustration at his own inability to do anything about it. Jim was clearly an excellent rider, but unfortunately, he was not an excellent riding instructor. He had given Spock some very rudimentary directions, and then said that he would “get the hang of it.” Once they had begun moving, he started saying useless things:
“It’s just like riding a bike.”
“I’ve never ridden a bike, captain.”
“And Jim, I can ride a bike, and it’s nothing like sitting on these monsters.”
“Quit fussing, Bones. Just be one with the horse, Spock.”
McCoy, on the other hand, was not torn at all. He was grinning madly. Spock refused to look at him, but turned to Jim instead.
“Captain, your suggestion that I be one with the horse has proved to be distinctly unhelpful. In fact, if I were more separate from this horse, I would not now be developing bruises all over my legs from being smashed into trees.”
“Maybe he means you should meld with it, Spock. Did you think of that?”
“I do not think that the captain means to suggest that, Doctor. I would not meld with it, in any case. It seems more illogical even than you, so becoming one with its mind would be foolhardy.”
McCoy snorted, and opened his mouth to reply, but Jim jumped in. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Let’s go back.”
In Spock’s case, this was easier said than done. In the end they had to tie his reins to the back of Jim’s saddle, so the horse would follow. It was not as dignified a mode of travel as he might have liked, but he had suffered worse indignities in his life, and it did prevent further encounters with trees.
That night, while they were staring at the campfire, McCoy suddenly chuckled.
“Spock, I never thought I’d see the day when you couldn’t learn something! This goes down in my books as a five star day!”
“I fail to see how that is remarkable, since the Enterprise has passed many more than five stars in a day.”
Jim laughed. “Well, I’ll teach you how to ride some other time, Spock. I’ll be retiring eventually, and I plan to move back to Iowa and get a farm there. When you visit me, we’ll work on it.”
“Yeah, Spock. And if you let me come watch, I’ll buy you a horse! We could name it ‘Hobgoblin’ since it would look just like you.”
“No, Doctor. Absolutely not.”
Part 6
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Five
Kirk: Spock!
Spock: Yes, Captain?
Kirk: Be one with the horse.
Spock: Yes, Captain.
-Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
“Why don’t we rent horses and ride some of the trails?”
Spock thought that McCoy looked less than enthusiastic at this suggestion from Jim. They were trying to decide how to spend their first morning in Yosemite National Park. Under normal circumstances he might have seconded Jim just to irritate the doctor, but instead he waited, hoping that whatever McCoy was about to say would dissuade their captain.
“Jim, you know I’m not a great horseman like you are, and I hate to think of all the things that might happen to us, riding around without a guide. I’ve heard that the horses you rent at places like this are never well trained, and throw people all the time. Why can’t we just go fishing?”
“Bones, we’re in a national park. We could go fishing anywhere . . . we usually do. But this shore leave we’re doing something different, and we only have a few days to see as much of this place as we can. Spock’s never been here. Don’t you want him to see as much as possible?”
“Sure. My idea of a relaxing shore leave is to have that green-blooded alien watch me make an idiot of myself on a horse. It’ll be a laugh for him and you, because he’s probably a great horseman, too. I bet they learn horseback riding in Vulcan kindergarten! Heck, he even looks like a horse!”
“Doctor, I do not look like a terrestrial equine, if for no other reason than that I am a biped, and the horse is a quadruped.”
“Don’t you think he looks like a horse, Jim? “
“Well . . .” Jim was staring with his head cocked to the side. Spock had always wondered why humans did that. He had experimented several times, and looking with one’s head slightly tilted to the side did not change one’s perspective dramatically.
“Look at his long face, Jim, and those teeth. I swear I never noticed it before, but you really look like a horse, Spock. Were there any horses in your ances-”
“It is immaterial, Doctor. Your assumption that young Vulcans learn to ride horses is unwarranted, as there are no horses on Vulcan. I have never ridden a horse, therefore I am forced to agree with you that we should find an alternate form of entertainment for this morning.”
“You’ve never ridden a horse?!” Jim gaped at him. “That decides it. We are going to ride horses this morning. Spock has to get a chance to ride a horse, Bones!”
Doctor McCoy, with the characteristic fickleness of humans, now had a wicked glint in his eyes. “Yeah, I wanna see this. I’ve never seen a Vulcan learning to ride a horse…in fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a Vulcan learning anything besides their precious logic. I just changed my vote to riding horses, so you’re outvoted, Spock. Let’s go.”
Spock decided the most logical course of action in this situation was to bow to the inevitable, so he agreed.
Had it really been inevitable that they ride horses? He might have insisted that he would not ride, and they could go by themselves, but that would have been immature, even by human standards. Perhaps this was the only decision he could have made, then. In fact, since he had made this decision, it was the only choice he could have made according to the philosopher-
A sharp jolt brought Spock out of his reverie. Apparently his horse had felt it necessary (again) to scrape Spock’s left leg against a tree, and this could be considered an improvement, since half an hour before it had refused to move at all. Spock looked at the two men ahead of him. Both had turned their horses and were coming back down the trail. Jim looked torn between amusement at Spock’s plight and frustration at his own inability to do anything about it. Jim was clearly an excellent rider, but unfortunately, he was not an excellent riding instructor. He had given Spock some very rudimentary directions, and then said that he would “get the hang of it.” Once they had begun moving, he started saying useless things:
“It’s just like riding a bike.”
“I’ve never ridden a bike, captain.”
“And Jim, I can ride a bike, and it’s nothing like sitting on these monsters.”
“Quit fussing, Bones. Just be one with the horse, Spock.”
McCoy, on the other hand, was not torn at all. He was grinning madly. Spock refused to look at him, but turned to Jim instead.
“Captain, your suggestion that I be one with the horse has proved to be distinctly unhelpful. In fact, if I were more separate from this horse, I would not now be developing bruises all over my legs from being smashed into trees.”
“Maybe he means you should meld with it, Spock. Did you think of that?”
“I do not think that the captain means to suggest that, Doctor. I would not meld with it, in any case. It seems more illogical even than you, so becoming one with its mind would be foolhardy.”
McCoy snorted, and opened his mouth to reply, but Jim jumped in. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Let’s go back.”
In Spock’s case, this was easier said than done. In the end they had to tie his reins to the back of Jim’s saddle, so the horse would follow. It was not as dignified a mode of travel as he might have liked, but he had suffered worse indignities in his life, and it did prevent further encounters with trees.
That night, while they were staring at the campfire, McCoy suddenly chuckled.
“Spock, I never thought I’d see the day when you couldn’t learn something! This goes down in my books as a five star day!”
“I fail to see how that is remarkable, since the Enterprise has passed many more than five stars in a day.”
Jim laughed. “Well, I’ll teach you how to ride some other time, Spock. I’ll be retiring eventually, and I plan to move back to Iowa and get a farm there. When you visit me, we’ll work on it.”
“Yeah, Spock. And if you let me come watch, I’ll buy you a horse! We could name it ‘Hobgoblin’ since it would look just like you.”
“No, Doctor. Absolutely not.”
Part 6