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[golemgirl]

It's been a long time since I posted... For some reason, I find it utterly impossible to admit how I actually feel on facebook. Too many casual acquaintances linked as friends, I guess.

Last night exzebachay told me to stop framing things in a way that makes me bad. I think that is the most difficult thing he's ever asked me to do. I feel like I

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[malkiyah]

I wish I was there, so I could give you a big hug and geek out with you. I'm sorry that things feel terrible. I know that there's no magic bullet, no one thing that anyone can say to make you feel better. But, know that I respect the hell out of you, miss you terribly, and am always willing to lend a hand, ear, anything to help you out.
I hear you about feeling like so much wasted time has passed. On my bad days, I look back and see failure, lost connections, and spinning wheels. Oh, and let's nor forget heartbreak and death. But, it all pans out in my head (on my good days) when I can take all of that and think of it as a solid (if sordid) foundation for where I am today.
I think you'll get to where you want to be. It's just going to be hell getting there. I just hope that you'll be able to look back on everything and smile, someday.
As always, give a call if you'd like, I'd love to hear from you.