Fear and Loathing in Thanksgiving (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Cold Food)

[good_ol_don]

As a starting, blanket statement, I would like to thank all those who helped to make Thanksgiving at our house a success this year. I certainly wasn't among them, but I'd like to thank those who were.

That said, allow me to regale the rest of you with the events of Thanksgiving at the Ford House this year.

--

Comments

[darksyde78]

there is no reason to be depressed, sir! As you have repeatedly stated, this was your FIRST hosted thanksgiving! Trust me, our respective grandparents and parents didn't get it "right" on their first times, either. You have to think of it as a learning experience, and from what I've read, you realize that. As far as throwing yourself under a bus several times, I'll reiterate; first hosted major holiday dinner...there's bound to be snafus. And I can say from personal experience, when the women folk are kind enough to cook for us men folk, I stay the hell out of their way; I've been hit by a spatula more times than I care to admit. And if your neighbor has a problem with you parking on your property, start parking on his; or ask him why he's so interested in watching the street. You may have a possible pedophile/sex offender on your hands, in which case, I'd be very worried about his dog...8^P

[good_ol_don]

Well, he works as security where Gail works. So, one would think they did a thorough background check on the man.

Of course, I think it's just that he's got a bigger stick up his ass than Al Gore. *shrug*

[baka_neko314]

You did as best as you could. Shit happens. This will be a learning experience for next time as what not to do. I bet the food was awesome.

Just kick your neighbor in his drug-dealing balls.

[good_ol_don]

Clearly, you are correct, madam. The food WAS awesome. I only wish more people had eaten. It seems my stomach (much as my mood) is directly dictated by the average hunger of the people around me. More hungry people means I could eat food more often! Or something.

Also... yes. My neighbor was supposed to be "cool." He has, of course, revealed his true form as DOUCHE CZAR OF THE WEST INDIES. But, yeah. If he says one more thing, we're prepared to whoop up on his ass.

[baka_neko314]

Which is why this is a gauge for next time. Next time, the food will still clearly be awesome, BUT you'll have everyone know what time to eat, most will arrive on time, you'll be able to better gauge portions for others, you'll have a better rsvp list. I would say that even if you have 10 definates next time and like an extra 3 maybes, I would make enough food for the three so if they don't show up, you has leftovers! :D That's the best part about Thanksgiving

[good_ol_don]

RE: Thanksgiving Leftovers -- Totally agreed.

RE: Neighbor -- He was supposed to be the first one. SUPPOSED to be

[galanadra]

If you didn't have a mess happen the first time you threw a holiday bash, I'd be jealous. At least it was your friends that witnessed it and not like some in-laws that are so distant you've barely met them. That was my first Thanksgiving at my house.

As for your rules:
1. Make between ONE and TWO pounds of food PER GUEST ACTUALLY COMING.
Just send out real invitations, if you're planning ahead (computers are made for this, too :-P) and then they really feel like they have to RSVP, and make no more than you think you can eat or give away in a week. Depending on dishes, of course.

2. Bake some, save some.
Don't think fridge, think deep freezer. There are some great recipes you can make that can be cooked directly from frozen, and the leftovers keep better. Plus, deep freezers are cheap.

3. Schedule definitive times.Well, don't exclude people because they come late, just let them know when they come in that they should nuke a plate if they're late. On time=hot food. And putting dinner in the oven on warm for about 30 minutes

[good_ol_don]

Well, the only reason we're behind on the fence at all is because we had to shift fence posts, due to the previous owners not concreting properly. Like, two-fucking-feet of concrete?!?!? Do you REALLY need that much?

So, we couldn't oust the old posts. And I used mathematics to shove everything over five feet so as not to interfere with old posts AND not to interfere with outdoor standing electrical box ... that my neighbor needs for some reason.

And, in so doing, we now have a three-foot gap at one end and a five-foot gap at the other. And an eight-foot section of fence that needs to be cut (see above).

But, yeah... rookie mistakes. You totally called me on all of it. Besides, though ... how much longer have you been married and owned a house? AND raised a child, no less?

Oh... and you think I don't call you enough now? Wait until I have a kid. All you'll get from me are phone calls requesting parenting advice. Trust me.

[crimsonlotus84]

A Few things

[good_ol_don]

Rule #2 sounds incredibly helpful. I will endeavor to remember that one for a long time to come.

Rule #3 has a terribly terrific appeal. Mmmm. Fargo.

[gretel2381]

I miss Perk Christmas dinner. And posing like Captain Morgan. *sigh*

[good_ol_don]

I've still got it, baby.