Small PhD whinge
Finally, this week, I've started testing participants for my PhD project! It's a great relief to be actually doing the work I'm supposed to be doing, after nearly a year as a PhD student. I spent so many months faffing about with a particular bit of testing software that turned out to be beyond useless. When my supervisor and I decided to abandon it a few months ago we found a working alternative almost immediately. It's easy to get annoyed with myself for wasting so much time with it, but this is what doing a PhD is all about I suppose - trying things out and learning what works.
Even this last week or so has not all been plain sailing. This stuff has happened:
1) My supervisor was meant to release some funds for me to pay my participants (travel costs plus £10), but did not do this and is now on holiday, so I have to pay with my own cash and hope I get reimbursed some time this century
2) After assuring me I would be the only person using the testing room these next few weeks, she told one of her MSc students to use it as well, leading to booking clashes
3) Just for extra fun, I woke up on Sunday with cystitis. Hooray!
However, all turned out reasonably okay. I've only had to shell out £19 so far, the MSc student found a different room, and though I felt pretty rough through my testing session on Monday, after going home and resting my symptoms cleared up, which was a big relief.
But something happened on Wednesday which really pissed me off, so I'm going to moan about it here. I had set up the testing room for my participant, and as she wasn't due for 20 minutes, I sat in there reading a magazine while I waited. A few minutes later a man knocked at the door of my room, and asked who I was. When I told him, he said 'there's a lady waiting for you downstairs'. I thanked him and went down to meet her. As I led her through the entrance I past Door Knock Man talking to the department's main Admin Dude. I heard one of them say 'She should have given a phone number so she could be contacted'. Then one said to me, accusingly, 'You were very hard to find!'
As I was with my participant I didn't feel it was appropriate to retort back the I had given my participant my phone number, that she had in fact arrived early, and I would have gone to meet her within minutes anyway, without any prompting, so there was no need to find me. I really, really hate being treated as though I'm incompetent when I'm not, and this bugged me for the rest of the day.
I also can't help feeling that there was an element of ablism in their reactions. My lady came with her hearing dog, and walked with a stick, but this does not mean she was not able to look after herself (she is actually a physicist and an extremely intelligent woman). She had my phone number - she probably would have just texted me to let me know she was there. If an able-bodied woman had appeared and told these guys she was waiting for me, I seriously doubt they would have gone off in such an almighty flap looking for me.
Unfortunately, as I was a bit flustered by the two of them huddled in the corner casting accusing glances at me, I started to take the lady up the stairs, and one of them said 'there's a lift you know!' Which of course, I should have offered her straight away, given the stick. So I looked even more inept.
I think it rattles me particularly because I still feel so new in the department. After working 15 years in the same place, I'm used to everyone knowing me and assuming that I know what I'm doing. Now that I'm a New Kid I don't have the benefit of the doubt. I have to earn it again, and it takes time.
Anyway, I had a nice walk afterwards to calm my jangled nerves, from Kings Cross down to Oxford Street, and looked in a few shops. It was a lovely day, mild and breezy and much nicer than the blistering heat of late. It's amazing how a walk through the streets of London can cure a multitude of ills :)
Even this last week or so has not all been plain sailing. This stuff has happened:
1) My supervisor was meant to release some funds for me to pay my participants (travel costs plus £10), but did not do this and is now on holiday, so I have to pay with my own cash and hope I get reimbursed some time this century
2) After assuring me I would be the only person using the testing room these next few weeks, she told one of her MSc students to use it as well, leading to booking clashes
3) Just for extra fun, I woke up on Sunday with cystitis. Hooray!
However, all turned out reasonably okay. I've only had to shell out £19 so far, the MSc student found a different room, and though I felt pretty rough through my testing session on Monday, after going home and resting my symptoms cleared up, which was a big relief.
But something happened on Wednesday which really pissed me off, so I'm going to moan about it here. I had set up the testing room for my participant, and as she wasn't due for 20 minutes, I sat in there reading a magazine while I waited. A few minutes later a man knocked at the door of my room, and asked who I was. When I told him, he said 'there's a lady waiting for you downstairs'. I thanked him and went down to meet her. As I led her through the entrance I past Door Knock Man talking to the department's main Admin Dude. I heard one of them say 'She should have given a phone number so she could be contacted'. Then one said to me, accusingly, 'You were very hard to find!'
As I was with my participant I didn't feel it was appropriate to retort back the I had given my participant my phone number, that she had in fact arrived early, and I would have gone to meet her within minutes anyway, without any prompting, so there was no need to find me. I really, really hate being treated as though I'm incompetent when I'm not, and this bugged me for the rest of the day.
I also can't help feeling that there was an element of ablism in their reactions. My lady came with her hearing dog, and walked with a stick, but this does not mean she was not able to look after herself (she is actually a physicist and an extremely intelligent woman). She had my phone number - she probably would have just texted me to let me know she was there. If an able-bodied woman had appeared and told these guys she was waiting for me, I seriously doubt they would have gone off in such an almighty flap looking for me.
Unfortunately, as I was a bit flustered by the two of them huddled in the corner casting accusing glances at me, I started to take the lady up the stairs, and one of them said 'there's a lift you know!' Which of course, I should have offered her straight away, given the stick. So I looked even more inept.
I think it rattles me particularly because I still feel so new in the department. After working 15 years in the same place, I'm used to everyone knowing me and assuming that I know what I'm doing. Now that I'm a New Kid I don't have the benefit of the doubt. I have to earn it again, and it takes time.
Anyway, I had a nice walk afterwards to calm my jangled nerves, from Kings Cross down to Oxford Street, and looked in a few shops. It was a lovely day, mild and breezy and much nicer than the blistering heat of late. It's amazing how a walk through the streets of London can cure a multitude of ills :)