Omegle is the weirdest thing ever
Stranger: Tabitha?!
You: Louise!
Stranger: It's you! After all these years!
You: I know! I'm excited and scared at the same time! I feel so strongly...
Stranger: Manuela and I searched for you for years after the Great Stalinist Purges!
You: I was living amongst the geese in Amsterdam for years, and no one knew the wiser. Did you ever have that growth removed?
Stranger: Oh, that large goiter on my neck? Yes, it's gone thankfully. I had to resort to using a witch doctor in lower Ghana but he did the trick.
You: I always wished to have a goiter such as yours, but they're not very fashionable among geese.
Stranger: I can understand that. Perhaps you should move up into the realms of migratory fowl. I hear they lead more exotic lives. I remember your taste for the exotic lifestyle fondly, Tabitha.
You: All of those exploding olives and gold encrusted lobsters... that was the life, before the Purges. If only I could find some of pork bellies filled with jewels once more, I could leap back into the lifestyle. Oh, Louise, how could I have lose track of you? And Manuela, of course!
You: You must pardon me, I haven't used my fingers in years as I was accustomed to keeping them together in the fashion of wings.
Stranger: Oh, what a lush life we used to live. Bathing in caviar at dawn, only to spoon it off eachother using hollowed out cow's eyes. Roman emperors would blush at our decadence!
Stranger: Oh, that's perfectly acceptable Tabitha.
You: I miss the endless tables of half naked people begging us to douse them in Hollandaise sauce. I cannot imagine where I would find such a thing in today's world. Times have changed.
Stranger: Ah but you are in Amsterdam, n'est pas? You could pick up a nice bottle of Advocaat; it does the trick just fine. Why, just yesterday, Sambo poured some all over me in the midst of an afternoon orgy. It was heavenly, I tell you!
You: Oh, but the money has dried up, and what do I do now? I can barely meet rent at the local hostel working my day job, beating sad American men with flaming violin bows. What I would do for an afternoon orgy with Sambo, though!
Stranger: Why don't I swing by and pick you up, Tabitha? Deliver you from the life of squalor you have found yourself in?
You: Please, steal me away! I long to break free of the hellish chains I have created for myself.
Stranger: I shall be there post-haste! I long to be in your strong arms once again, like we used to do in Stalingrad!
You: Please do so! You will find me at De Vaan's, a small place in the most decrepit part of the city. I will await you longingly! But now I must depart for the daily grind. The flaming bows call to me. Adieu, Louise!
Stranger: Godspeed, Tabitha!