So, this will eventually be the Giant Sherlock Recs Post o' Doom. I'm starting with a few stories but I'll be updating over the coming weeks. I'll post new updates to my journal but I'll also edit this post as I go.
My reading tastes, all other things being equal, lean to AUs (especially SFnal AUs) and certain kinds of kink. All other things are NOT equal, so I read a lot of things that aren't either of those genres, but I suspect they will be overrepresented on this list.
Please note that I don't guarantee I've replicated all the warnings from these stories as I put them up here--read headers wherever you're going. I will try to put relevant warnings, though.
This list bears some strong resemblances to the lists of
regan-v here and
bethbethbeth here, because they were my gateway drugs to Sherlock fandom (and they have excellent taste). Thank you, ladies. :D
Pairings:
John/Sherlock,
John/Sherlock/third person,
John/Sherlock + John/somebody or Sherlock/somebody (nonpolyamorous),
Mycroft/Lestrade,
Other,
Gen.
John/Sherlock
augustbird,
Reignite (9k). John shows up on Sherlock's doorstep with his son. The title may give you a clue as to the general plotline, but this is a nice slow story that really takes its time to develop the relationship (and keeps you on your toes nearly to the last line as to how it will end!).
bendingsignpost:
34 minutes (5k). Sherlock asks John to sit with him and talk with absolute honesty for 30 minutes, then maintain eye contact for 4 minutes. Funny, with many great character moments; I wouldn't call these my headcanon backstories for either party, but it works for me anyway.
bendingsignpost:
Stranger at the Gate (85k). Medieval vampire AU! *grabbyhands* I don't have words enough for this fic. The worldbuilding is beautiful, it's got the kind of robustly constructed plot that's obvious in hindsight but wonderfully surprising as you read it, there's an instant attraction between John and Sherlock that I actually believe. All the secondary characters are cast into believable roles in this new universe, roles that may or may not have anything to do with their roles in the show. Just....seamless.(highlight to read warnings, or
skip) Some violence and consent issues, but...the story is not unaware of those things.
bendingsignpost:
Behavioural Modification (24k). A John/asexual!Sherlock fic, mostly about the expectations each party brings to such a relationship. There are a lot of sweet moments in this fic and also a lot of moments where I want to facepalm at John and Sherlock (in a good way). Molly in this is especially good, and there's a description Sherlock gives her of asexuality that's still one of my favorite lines in any Sherlock fic.
bobross,
Taking the Fee (6.5k). Omegaverse plus added medical kink. Really, really hot, and very funny, and delves into some of the details of how the strange biology of omegaverse would actually work in a way I found believable. Spot-on characterization, and a lot more, hmm, practical than most omegaverse fics? (highlight to read warnings, or
skip) Reads as if it is dubious consent, but eventually proves not to be so.
cyerus,
Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things (6k). AU where John Watson is Captain Jack Harkness's son. Crack, but fun crack!
cyerus:
Game Theory (2k) &
Zero Sum Games (3k). Sherlock is John's student at a boarding school, and he apparently thinks John's a good choice for sexual experimentation. This one's student/teacher underage dubcon (underage=17), and Sherlock's a manipulative little shit, and they're PWPs, but they're really hot, in-character PWPs. So, you know.
emungere:
Yes and No (5k). Sherlock dresses up in drag for a case, John comes home and finds him like that. Like many fics, this is one where Sherlock and John hardly ever say straight out what they're thinking about their relationship; unlike many fics, they manage to communicate perfectly well anyway. The writing is atmospheric and gorgeous, too.
etothepii:
Asteroidea (2k);
Highly Intelligent, Observant, and Destructive When Bored (5k);
Feels Like Drowning (10k). Crossover AU with His Dark Materials. I've heard a suggestion to start with Highly Intelligent, continue with Feels Like Drowning, and finish with Asteroidea as a prequel, since there's a mystery through much of the second two pieces that's solved if you start with Asteroidea. But I read it with the prequel first and quite enjoyed it anyway, so, up to you. Asteroidea is Sherlock and Mycroft as children, the other two are about Sherlock and John sharing a flat and stumbling towards a kind of relationship, with a bunch of great moments between John and Mycroft as well. I especially like the version of Mycroft in these stories, I have to say.
etothepii:
I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You (11k). Good Omens crossover, where Sherlock and Mycroft are Crowley and Aziraphale analogues, and John moves in with Sherlock thinking he's human. Very enjoyable and plotty, and the details of how, exactly, the Holmes brothers would be angels with distinct back stories are well done.
htebazytook:
Incredibly Simple and Very Destructive (7k). Sherlock thinks all emotions can be broken down into chemical reactions, dopamine, adrenaline. John thinks he's missing something. And they have a series of wonderful conversations about it.
Jupiter Ash:
A Study in Winning (106k). Recced all round the fandom, and for good reason. Sometimes the fun of an AU is in watching how the different setting changes the characters, and sometimes the fun is watching exactly canonical characters tear it up in a different setting--this is the latter kind. I ended up grinning at my screen like a fool in a couple of different places. Long and more romantic than I usually like them, but it worked for me in the context of this fic.
juxtapose:
In Which Lestrade Has Observation Powers of His Own (Or, "I Think Lestrade Filmed You On His Phone") (2k). Lestrade's POV of John and Sherlock, post-Reichenbach. Sad but lovely and in character.
keelywolfe:
Strays (13k). John's 22 and finishing up his medical training, working in A&E; Sherlock is the homeless teenage drug addict he treats and then takes under his wing. The development of the relationship between the two of them is really lovely, and I found this version of teenage Sherlock very persuasive. (highlight to read warnings, or
skip) Underage sex (Sherlock is 16, John 22).
ladyflowdi and mirrorskippy:
Infiltrate (tear down the walls and the gate) (73k),
The Love Song of Two Idiots (8k),
(Life Is) a Series of Risks (36k). This is wonderful, long, plotty, with good action scenes and character work. Written after s1, it resolves the Moriarty plotline in a universe where John and Sherlock are in a relationship; I won't say more for fear of spoilers, but this is amazing and visceral and I recommend it very highly, especially the first fic in the series. I want to say a word about some of the content, though: the John and Sherlock in this fic have a really strong sexual connection that includes a fair amount of BDSM, but I still suggest you give it a try even if that isn't your sort of thing. Unlike most fics with BDSM content, it is not the driving force of the plot and it doesn't take up the majority of the running time, though it's an indelible element of Sherlock and John's characterization. That is, it's not gratuitous, but it's also not the dominant element of the fic. Months on from reading this I can still tell you most of the plot--that's how deep an impression these fics made. (Also, got me to read kidfic--the last one has a child in it.) (highlight to read warnings, or
skip) Violent--probably the most violent fic I've read in this fandom.
Lanning:
26 pieces (28k). Mycroft asks Sherlock to solve a puzzle box; it at first seems simple, but the threads spread out into severe danger for John and Sherlock. Long, plotty, quite violent. This one's a real casefic--there's a mystery to figure out, as well as plenty of action scenes (which, I have to say, is one thing that I'm really enjoying about Sherlock as compared to my earlier fandoms). I especially like John's characterization in this piece.
Laura JV:
The Wrong Tree (4k). Sherlock is attracted to John, and sets out to convince John they should be sleeping together. A fairly unusual Sherlock backstory that I enjoyed quite a bit, and very funny in an understated way.
lbmisscharlie:
Blue Veins (2k). The premise of this is somewhat similar to the movie TiMeR except that it's natural, not technological: you have a clock on your wrist that counts down to when you'll find true love. This could be the start of a very satisfying Destined True Love story between Sherlock and John, but instead it's the start of an even more satisfying story about what finding true love actually means. The worldbuilding is incredibly nuanced for such a short piece. One of my favorites in the surprisingly popular magical-realism genre in this fandom.
linpatootie,
To Sleep, Perchance to Smother Your Flatmate with a Pillow (5.3k), and its sequels
An Epiphany is Just a Fancy Way of Realising You’re an Idiot (5.2k);
Crocodiles and Cannibals and Putting Things in Sherlock’s Hair (5.7k); and
The Sum of Us (Mostly Calculated by Everybody Else) (9.2k). The first fic in this series involves Sherlock asking John to share a bed with him--literally, just share a bed at night--so he can test whether they sleep better that way or not. It's filled with John being affectionately irate at Sherlock, which is always a nice trope, and is done very well here. Overall, this is just a very pleasing fic. The sequels are also good (particularly the Crocodiles one) and slowly develop into a romantic relationship, but the first preslashy one is still my favorite. (Also, there's a [possibly abandoned] WiP webcomic version
here.)
machshefa:
Touchstone (10k) and
I leave a trail of breadcrumbs to show you where I've been (1k). Another great entry in the magical-realism genre: when people have dreams or wishes, they build up color on their skin until they produce a gemstone. This is used to comment, with great effect, on the very different emotional lives of Sherlock and John. Good, unusual worldbuilding, and a nice buildup of the relationship between them. The second fic is sort of a coda to the first, more than a fully-fledged sequel, but I enjoyed it as well.
mad_maudlin:
My Body When It Is With Your (10k),
Marked (1k),
Debriefing (1k),
Human On Your Faithless Arm (3k). John is a werewolf, Sherlock is a telepath. You already know whether or not you want to read something like this--I can only tell you that it is very well done, as one would expect from the author.
mad_maudlin:
How to Train Your Dragon (13k). I actually read this before I'd seen any of Sherlock, and I liked it even then, but I like it quite a bit more now that I understand how the canon characterizations are played with. Sherlock is a sorcerer who wants to tame a dragon and ride it; he eventually captures John who is very much not as he expected. Plottier than this kind of thing usually is, though the dynamic between Sherlock and John also gets a fair amount of (very satisfying) screen time. Excellent worldbuilding, too. (highlight to read warnings, or
skip) Dubious consent.
madlori:
Performance in a Leading Role (157k). In the mood for some really loooong, romantic Sherlock/John? Here, have one! It's a cute AU where John and Sherlock are actors (as distinct from RPF about Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch) who sign on for an independent film where they play lovers. A little sweeter than I usually like my fics to be, but I couldn't (metaphorically) put it down.
misslucyjane:
My Phone's On Vibrate For You (21k). A relatively unusual fic in that Sherlock and John have sex before having all the feelings, rather than the other way around. I'm not entirely sold on the Sherlock characterization in this one, I have to say, but I enjoy the rest of it so much I'm reccing it anyway.
misspamela:
that thing you like (7k). Sherlock invites John to his family home for Christmas; John comes along for the ride. This fic just makes me happy: smooth and easy going down, sweet but not too sweet. I read this one very early on in my Sherlock phase, and then came back to it a few months later, and during every scene I kept going, "Oh, this is the fic where that happens!"
out_there:
The Whore of Babylon was a Perfectly Nice Girl (33k). In which Sherlock is more sexually experienced than John. Very funny in parts, and it's interesting to see John adjust his perceptions of Sherlock throughout. Good Mycroft, too. Also has a rather unusual take on Sherlock's drug habit, which I appreciated.
out_there:
The Art of Flat-sharing (6k). Certain people are very difficult to share a flat with--especially John, if you're Sherlock, that is. My notes on this fic say "Besotted Sherlock in EXTREME and HILARIOUS denial," which about sums it up. One of my favorites.
pennydreadful:
Release (4k). "Orgasm denial...FOR SCIENCE!" This is not my usual kink, but the story is so well-done that I understood why people would find it hot--and more importantly why these particular characters (John and Sherlock) would engage in it.
pennypaperbrain:
Points of Light (16k). Reccing this one not for the beginning and the end--not quite to my taste--but for the glorious middle. It's a BDSM fic, and reads John's and Sherlock's initial meeting in that light. But then, instead of things working instantly between them, they have some trouble adjusting to each other. When they finally figure everything out--well, then the now-sexual relationship works as well as their canonical one does. I don't have a good sense of whether this would work for people who aren't into this sort of fic already, but for those who are, it's well worth reading.
pir8fancier,
Planet Sherlock (6.5k). Very funny, very hot Sherlock-and-John-in-a-new-relationship fic; has a rating system for sexual encounters that is absolutely unforgettable. Also has some really good Harry Watson bits, which I enjoy, and an honestly straight John Watson without making that a problem in his relationship with Sherlock (a very hard balance to handle).
prettyarbitrary:
Dress Sense (7k). Sherlock takes John out to buy a new suit, and is so turned on they don't even make it out of the store. Great suit porn, great actual porn, and some interesting stuff about what Sherlock and John see in each other.
Resonant:
Home (3k). In which Sherlock asks John to move out. And yet--just--everything I want out of this ship in a perfect little package. One of the fics I read early on that convinced me this was a fandom I wanted to be reading. (highlight to read content spoiler, or
skip) I have a seriously major fiction kink for stories where the protagonists are mutually in love and don't know or notice it, and this fulfils that need rather nicely.
Resonant:
Close Enough (3k). John gets called to a scene where Sherlock needs rescuing--although this is not hurt/comfort, really. I particularly like how this fic explores the way you become comfortable with the physicality of the people around you.
saathi1013:
The Adventure of Six Painted Virgins (14k). Very nice slashy case fic based, I think, on one of the original ACD stories, updated similarly to the way the canon is. Sherlock dresses up as a priest and John has feelings about that. (highlight to read warnings, or
skip) Violence and some use of religious themes that might read a little hinky if you're a practitioner.
sing-oldsongs,
Nights when he doesn't sleep at all (2.5k). Sherlock's a vampire, but not much about the setup is different. Mostly it's little bits and scenes from their home life together, moving into romance at the end. The prose is mannered--it works for me very well, but it's one of those things where you need to trust the author first, which I know can be hard if you haven't read anything by them before, so just give it a few scenes to draw you in.
Sophiahelix:
Nobody Raise Their Voices (3k),
When the Sky is Full of Zeros and Ones (5k),
Halving Infinity (10k). This is a series that gets better the farther along it goes--and it starts pretty well. Basically, John brings home a woman from the pub, Sherlock listens in, and then John finds out, and things escalate from there. The first two are more PWP-esque, but the last is plottier, dealing with the fact that they haven't really been talking about things and--what do you know--that creates communication problems!
speranza,
Stages of Grief (5.6k). This one follows Sherlock as he tries to break down Moriarty's network; somewhat unusually in fic, he sticks around London, which means he can keep an eye on John. There's a description John gives of what his life is like with Sherlock gone that I always think of now when I'm trying to characterize it.
skip) Mention of suicidal thoughts (and possibly intended action--it's a bit unclear).
Speranza:
Subliminal (3k). A single scene from Sherlock's POV, using lots of structural elements to reveal all the things going through his head as events progress. Very satisfying ending.
Speranza,
Up or Artistic Lush (8k). This isn't a big showy fic, but it does basically everything exactly right throughout. Some of it's hilarious and some of it's sweet and a bit of it's angsty, and generally it just feels true to life. I know this is an older fic, but I just read it recently and there were some characterization moments that really made me rethink some of the fanon I've grown accustomed to. Just really well done, and one of my favorites. (Also, there are word games.)
Tangles,
Coin to Travel Twice (2k). A short scene of Sherlock and John in a morgue. Nicely drawn characterizations, and there's something nebulous about this that always makes me feel like Sherlock and John are adults in a way they're not, somehow, in a lot of fic. et-in-arkadia:
Three Instances in Bed (5k). What it says on the tin: three times John and Sherlock shared a bed. Some truly excellent dialogue, and some absolutely gorgeous description, and a wonderful character study of their relationship on top of all.
Tangles:
The Thermodynamics series (16k) (
The Second Law of Thermodynamics,
The Art of Negotiation,
The Definition of Insanity,
The Rules). John and Sherlock get snowed in, which gives them lots of time to have very John-and-Sherlocky conversations and maybe to change the parameters of their relationship.
Tangles:
A Little Competition (18k). An intense rainstorm forces a visiting Mycroft to stay at 221B rather longer than he intended. Sherlock, John and Mycroft then commence telling each other ghost stories. That summary doesn't really capture the note-perfect interactions between the three of them, nor the great little details that fill this fic. The John and Sherlock relationship, by the end, is especially wonderful.
Teaandjumpers:
You Don't Look a Day Over Perfect (1k). Sherlock worries that he's making John old. Really very sweet, with good characterization.
xzombiekittenx,
Read Our Futures in the Rising Steam (22k). There's a serial killer in London, killing people who look like John; Sherlock is on the case. Involves a few things that fic often doesn't: Sherlock actually doing drugs, major characters in real danger, Sally doing excellent policework. Good romance towards the end, and funny throughout; also a fair amount of violence and gore and descriptions of mutilated bodies. FWIW, I sometimes rec this fic in responses to requests on sherlock-bbc, and every time I've done that I've had a couple of people drop back in to tell me how much they liked it, which doesn't happen that often even with sought-out recommendations.
John/Sherlock/Somebody Else
basingstoke:
Yes Yes Yes series (
Touchy, Feely (2k) and
Indecorous (55k)). Touchy, Feely is kind of a short prologue to Indecorous, but Indecorous is the main star here. It's threesome fic--John/Sherlock/Mary Morstan--only the Mary is unlike every other Mary I've read, and Sherlock is asexual. Lots of really great characterization work, and much of the story is hilariously funny, and much of it is really hot, mildly kinky porn. One thing I particularly appreciated about this story was the way it negotiated various kinds of consent (to relationships as well as sex), not glossing over the fact that sometimes that can be very difficult. (highlight to read warnings, or
skip) There's a violence warning on this fic, which mostly concerns threats of abuse or stories of past abuse. The exploration of those is part of the story, though.
John/Sherlock + John/somebody else or Sherlock/somebody else
(no polyamory, though possibly cheating)
etothepii:
you need someone to take care of you (but I know it won't be me) (5k),
it's easy to trust someone who can't break you (4k),
everything you won't tell me (is mapped in your scars) (15k). Another BDSM-everywhere AU, not nearly as dark as the other one, with Lestrade/Sherlock and John/Sherlock as the pairings. These stories deal a lot with the human-scale problems of negotiating a world like this, and also serve as an interesting character study of Sherlock--reflecting back on the canon even though they're set in an AU. I also love the worldbuilding: there's some great thought put into, for example, how John behaves differently with patients depending on whether they're likely to obey him instinctually or not. And just in general it makes me incredibly happy.
(also, a blanket rec for
everything etothepii has written: I limited myself so my recs page wouldn't be entirely dominated by him, but anything of his is good enough to be on here.)
coloredink:
as you consume the longitudes (4k). Whenever John and Sarah are on the outs, Sherlock and John have sex. A little more romantic than I usually like (she says, realizing this probably contradicts the plot summary), but it's lovely.
greywash:
The Good Morrow series (
the sensation of falling as you just hit sleep (83k);
in deed accomplish our designs (69k), which is still a WiP). Post-Reichenbach fic at its best, with a plot I really couldn't see coming almost anywhere, but which never feels unearned. Gorgeous writing, too, and great characterization--I just can't say enough good things about this series. The bit players (Mike Stamford and Molly, in particular) are wonderful, as are the OCs. And in deed accomplish our designs (in particular) is incredibly hot, if you care about that sort of thing. One of those rare fics which has a life on its own outside the canon while also being perfectly compatible with it.
greywash:
Immortal Beloved (25k). The fic where Sherlock hires prostitutes, and how John reacts to that. Nooooot a happy fic, exactly--neither John nor Sherlock is a particularly good person in this story, though in ways that are supported interpretations of canon. In fact, I like it because it's such an unusual but believable interpretation. (highlight to read warnings, or
skip this warning) There's a scene at the end that could be construed as domestic partner abuse, or the threat of such, involving a gun.
lettered:
Square Root of Negative One (1.5k). This one's in a few comments so you'll have to scroll through. It's Sherlock's POV on a kiss between John and Sarah. This Sherlock is more manipulative than most fanon would have him, though I believed it for the length of this short and gorgeously written piece.
saathi1013:
Reliable Madness (4k). This is the sweetest, least explicit PWP you'll ever read--more a character study through sex than anything. (Though still explicit.) Basically: John likes performing oral sex. (There's a bit of a crossover with SGA, though it's more an added bonus than a necessary canon--it'll read like an OC if you're not familiar with the character.)
Mycroft/Lestrade
Eva:
A World More Full of Weeping (24k). In which Lestrade is part-Fae, and when a debt is called in on his family he ends up engaged to Mycroft. You may be squinting at that description, but don't--you're in for really astounding, perfectly fairy-tale-esque worldbuilding, a mystery to solve, and a nice growth of the central romance. Not necessarily happy overall, but incredibly satisfying. The kind of fic that makes you sad every time the scroll bar gets closer to the bottom of the screen; I could easily have read a hundred thousand words of this.
Rageprufrock:
The Least of All Possible Mistakes (118k). A Mycroft/always-a-woman!Lestrade fic, but you should be reading it anyway. My note on this one reads "This is everything I always wanted in fic and didn't know I was craving." I don't know that I can describe how good it is except to say that I read it as a WiP, and whenever I started reading a new chapter, I was instantaneously absorbed back into its world. It is by turns heart-wrenching and very funny, but both of those things feel very earned--it's not careening wildly in tone, but existing in a world so real that both moods work.
Other
etothepii:
Aggressive Mimicry (6k) and
Mutual Parasitism (20k). This is a BDSM-everywhere AU, and a disturbing one, with Moriarty/Sherlock as the main pairing. Sherlock's a sub and Moriarty's solution to the pool scene is to make Sherlock have sex with him, and it stays on a knife edge of whether or not this is consensual (and whether or not they want it to be) throughout. Then, in the sequel, they carry on a kind of long-distance relationship, somewhat against Sherlock's better judgment. Dark and fairly violent and warnings for dubcon and noncon.
etothepii:
Say my name (4k). An Anthea-centric piece, where she has a disorder that means she can't recognize faces, so she gets a job with Mycroft where she can do a lot of her work electronically. Then she gets tasked with watching Sherlock's website and John's blog. This one's really well-written, and also feels different from a lot of Sherlock fic due to the POV character and the focus of the narration.
nishi-shinji:
Rise and Fall (0.4k). A very short but interesting Sherlock/Lestrade piece, with a nice use of structure. (The author has more Sherlock/Lestrade things that I haven't had time to get through yet, so if you're interested in the ship check them out.)
persiflager,
Practical Ethics for Beginners (9.4k). John and Sherlock are flatmates and best friends at university, John starts taking Mycroft's ethics class and begins fantasizing about his professor without realizing it's Sherlock's brother. Mostly a cute little obviously-going-to-be-resolved sexual tension fic, with some funny platonic Sherlock&John bits.
Prettyarbitrary:
Shame Is Overrated (6k). John contracts an STD which gives him female genitalia for about a month. Mostly an excuse for him to have sex with a surprising array of partners, but I think it also pins down fairly well how Sherlock would react to his change. (Completely scientifically nonsensical, but that's entirely beside the point. :D)
tyleet,
Autopsies of the Rich and Famous (1.7k) and
Post-Mortem Infatuation (5.7k). UST Molly/Irene, with completely and totally awesome yet still in character Molly; great Mycroft in the second fic, too, which captures how scary/autocratic he can be.
Gen
brighteyed-jill:
The Cure is Worse (3k). This one has a slightly rocky start, but trust me: read on. John suggests Sherlock's dependence on nicotine patches is psychosomatic, so of course Sherlock needs experimental verification. That is what happens in the fic, but it doesn't describe the wonderful nuances of Sherlock and John's relationship throughout.
findingsherlock:
Diary of an Invisible Girl (2k). Sherlock stays with Molly after Reichenbach, and yet in a lot of ways it's like she's still invisible. Oh, this one hurts a lot, but the characterization is spot-on and...well, it's not like post-Reichenbach fic should be happy, right?
longtimegone,
Mary Magdalene (5.6k). A character study of Molly as Sherlock is staying at her flat post-Reichenbach. The most believable--and detailed--of the fics I've read in this mini-genre.
Morgan Stuart,
When Your Belly's in the Trench (5k). Going to steal the author's summary here: "The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side." Not at all a happy fic, but I got the sense that this is exactly how these characters would react in this situation. Lestrade-centric, and very tense--I honestly didn't know how it would end. (highlight to read warnings, or
skip) Warnings for offscreen violence & torture and onscreen threat of violence.
oreganotea:
The Detective and the Demon (2k). This author writes a lot of magical-realism stories, but this is by far my favorite. John is a demon summoned by Sherlock. Very funny in an understated way, and lots of nice twists on canonical scenes. With the way the worldbuilding's done, the characterizations fit perfectly, too.
Raven:
and now, the shipping forecast (4k). A post-Reichenbach fic, less bleak than they usually are, focusing on John and what his life is like as he keeps going. Elegant writing, some good turns from the non-main characters (Harry, Clara, Molly, Lestrade), and uh--emotional response spoilers? (highlight to read, or
skip) Despite the generally not-bleak tone of this fic, the end of it YANKED MY HEART OUT AND STOMPED ON IT EXACTLY THE WAY I LIKE IT. Yes.