If one more relative tells embarrassing stories from my youth I don't even remember or looks askance at me for actually eating food (rather than I suppose attempting to subsist solely by photosynthesis) I may just lose my mind
The mind boggles. My family is very much the opposite -- everyone must be eating all the time, and refusing offered food is a mortal sin.
There is an oft-told family story about my great-grandfather's funeral. My mom, aunt, and uncles all flew into Philadelphia and met at the airport. They had some time to kill before the funeral, so they decided to go get cheesesteak, since it had been so long since any of them had had the real thing. They ate a TON. When they got to the cemetery for the service, my great-aunt greeted them with "We got some enormous deli plates for back at the house, so I hope you're hungry!" and they all dutifully replied "Yes, Aunt Charlotte, we're starving." (ok, maybe it's not so funny written out?). Anyway, seems to be the opposite problem of what you're dealing with :/
I actually suspect they may be rebelling against exactly that in their parents' generation. But I am just so not willing to perform the role of virtuous fat person (and really they expect this of people of all sizes; what changes is the intensity with which one is expected to subsist on water vapor).
I hate it too. Maybe there are some families where it's all in fun, but in mine it's part of their weird power plays where they win every time they get to make someone feel bad while denying that that was what they meant to do.
When people give me nonsense, which is pretty much never, I look at them like they are aliens and they stop. Which might explain the pretty much *never* part.
Isn't that the purpose of elderly relatives, to tell embarrassing (to them, endearing) anecdotes about your childhood? Wait twenty years and tell your kid's friends the cute stories...
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These are the relatives who are definitely of the philosophy that virtuous women don't eat.
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There is an oft-told family story about my great-grandfather's funeral. My mom, aunt, and uncles all flew into Philadelphia and met at the airport. They had some time to kill before the funeral, so they decided to go get cheesesteak, since it had been so long since any of them had had the real thing. They ate a TON. When they got to the cemetery for the service, my great-aunt greeted them with "We got some enormous deli plates for back at the house, so I hope you're hungry!" and they all dutifully replied "Yes, Aunt Charlotte, we're starving." (ok, maybe it's not so funny written out?). Anyway, seems to be the opposite problem of what you're dealing with :/
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When people give me nonsense, which is pretty much never, I look at them like they are aliens and they stop. Which might explain the pretty much *never* part.
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