(please don't) match me up [for hidden_onigiri]
For: hidden_onigiri
Title: (please don’t) match me up
Pairing(s)/focus: multiple pairings, endgame!jb/mark, jr/youngjae
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 8,081
Author's notes: i had a lot of fun with this prompt, and i’d like to thank you for giving it to me! merry christmas and happy holidays ^^
Summary: Yugyeom thinks Bambam should stick to his smoothies rather than playing Cupid, but Bambam, as always, has other ideas.
Bambam has his non-fat strawberry-banana smoothie clutched between his hands and sucks it down greedily, pausing at lengthy intervals only because the brain freeze is too powerful for him to combat.
Bambam is a twig. He’s tiny little arms and legs attached to a human torso with a big blabbing head resting atop. He sucks down smoothies like water, and Yugyeom indulges him on their afternoons at the smoothie shop, using Bambam’s stamp card when he buys his own smoothie (Yugyeom hates smoothies) just so Bambam can get that much closer to filling out the card and getting a free smoothie of his choice.
Yugyeom sacrifices a lot for his impish friend, he believes. He’s been picking up after him for nearly fifteen years, and often times, Yugyeom wonders if there’s a reward card someone can stamp for him.
“So this is my plan,” Bambam announces, once he’s drained his cup dry. Yugyeom’s only a third of the way done with his own. “Jaebum and Youngjae.”
“What about them?”
Bambam hands Yugyeom a look like he’s stupid. That the mere mention of two of their friends didn’t elicit a gasp of excitement from Yugyeom, is almost offensive to Bambam. “A date! Yugyeom, they need to go on a date!”
Yugyeom grimaces and puts his smoothie down. He’s not sure what’s more repulsive. The smoothie or the words coming out of Bambam’s mouth. “Don’t do this.” Bambam looks like he might protest. “No, I’m being serious.”
Because the last time Bambam tried to set two people up it ended in a trip to the hospital and potato salad smeared on the ceiling (it was Yugyeom’s family reunion -- Bambam’s been banned from further ones). Yugyeom would rather not have that repeated.
Bambam is not to be silenced. “Jaebum and Youngjae -- the way of the future.”
“No, no, no.”
“Jaebum just looks so lonely. You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that Youngjae wouldn’t be good for him?”
“Jaebum’s a middle school P.E teacher; I’m sure he’s capable of finding his own dates.”
“Nonsense!”
“You can’t seriously be considering this.”
Bambam sticks his nose into the air, a finger raised, and declares, “I will make it happen!”
Bambam makes something happen, but it isn’t a Youngjae-Jaebum date.
Yugyeom and Bambam frequent the city’s rec center, and this is where Bambam has adopted most of his friends. Yugyeom was a kindergarten addition, the first of many people Bambam has harassed into friendship, but he can’t be satiated. Yugyeom thinks that Bambam has to know everyone; it’s like a need. And so he’s been on a mission to adopt everyone under his wing.
“What’s up with Bambam?” Jaebum is standing next to the rack of weights and gives Yugyeom a funny look. He lifts weights downstairs with Yugyeom on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and the two have gotten to be close. “He keeps sending me weird texts.”
Oh, no. Yugyeom was hoping Bambam would drop it if he didn’t bring it up, but he was wrong. “Yeah? Uh, like what?”
Jaebum frowns. “He keeps bringing up that guy Youngjae. Isn’t Youngjae the bagger at the grocery store down the road? The one we go to sometimes?”
Yugyeom almost drops ten pound weight in his hands. He was holding it just to experiment, but Jaebum’s question makes Yugyeom nearly take his own foot off. “Youngjae’s the guy at the front desk.”
The name means nothing to him as he stares back at Yugyeom, blank. “What?”
“You’ve talked to him before? He sits at the front desk? Where we pay the bills?”
“That guy?” Jaebum finally matches the name to the face. “I thought his name was Sanghyuk.”
“No, Jaebum, no. That’s the guy who plays volleyball on Wednesday nights.”
Jaebum clears his expression, putting the name confusion behind him. “Okay, well, Bambam keeps talking about this guy. Do you know why?”
Yugyeom shrugs, feigning innocence.
“Hmm,” Jaebum hums. “It’s just that Bambam seems so interested. He keeps talking about this guy, like, ‘don’t you think he’s great?’ and ‘he’s so adorable.’”
Yugyeom swallows. Jaebum is really good at imitating the Bambam voice.
“I just…. He’s asking my opinion on him.” Jaebum looks thoughtful as he starts pumping his arms with the weights in his hands. “Is Bambam trying to date him?”
The weight really does drop on Yugyeom’s foot this time.
Once Yugyeom hobbled to his and Bambam’s shared apartment, after Jaebum gave him a ride out of sheer pity, he announces, “We have to talk.”
Bambam glances up from the cake decorating magazine between his hands, giving Yugyeom a reproachful look. “Oh my god, what did you do to yourself?” He has his pink bunny slippers on, swaddled in his enormous gray polka-dotted bathrobe, and this is a far too common sight. Bambam doesn’t kid around when it comes to comfy wear.
“Possibly have broken my foot.” Yugyeom hops in on the good foot. “Bam, Jaebum thinks you’re trying to go out with Youngjae.”
Bambam gasps.
“I swear. I was talking to him today, and--”
“I have to increase my efforts.” The bunny slippers wiggle, and Yugyeom feels close to falling over. He grabs the wall for support.
“No, just stop meddling. If Jaebum wants a date, he can find it on his own.” Yugyeom ends the conversation by heading to his bedroom and shutting the door. He can hear Bambam mumbling, still sitting in their living room, and Yugyeom knows this isn’t over in the least. He has to prepare for war.
Jaebum, through Yugyeom, becomes aware that he’s being set up. “Yeah. No thanks.” Jaebum gives Yugyeom a wrinkled smile, slightly uncomfortable that his younger friend was trying to score him a blind date (or not so blind -- though, Jaebum still isn’t quite sure who Youngjae is). He lets Bambam know over text, and Yugyeom expects the hysterics that await him back at the apartment.
Bambam comes bustling through the door in his yoga pants and over-sized gray t-shirt. He has his college books propped on one hip and his other hand in the air, waving it at Yugyeom, and he must have just come from his history class. “What the hell?”
Yugyeom throws his hands up in defense before Bambam nails him with one of those hefty books in the shoulder. A jolt of paint is sent through his arm, but Yugyeom does not give in. “I told you he didn’t want a date!”
“Stop meddling!”
Yugyeom splutters, “Me- You…you! You stop!”
Bambam goes to bed angry that night, and Yugyeom has a bruise on his shoulder the size of Youngjae’s pet rat. Yugyeom knows of this pet rat because Youngjae keeps a picture of it in his wallet, and the picture falls out every time Youngjae opens it up -- very inconvenient.
Yugyeom isn’t that acquainted with Youngjae, but while he waits for Bambam at the smoothie shop on certain afternoons, he will witness the desk-dweller stride into the shop, give Yugyeom a quick and polite “hi, Yugyeom” and order his smoothies. He does all this within three minutes, two smoothies in his hands when he leaves the shop, and that is how Yugyeom knows neither Youngjae nor Jaebum would be interested in a date with each other.
Youngjae clearly has someone else on his mind.
Bambam will not accept this truth, however, and violently pursues his willy-nilly idea until Jaebum sends him an almost borderline rude text to leave him alone. He subsequently sends an apology text nearly an hour later. Bambam, perturbed and hungry, bangs his head on the table. “Why won’t he just let me,” he pouts into the tabletop.
Yugyeom turns from where he’s busy stirring a pot of stew on their shoddy stove (sometimes the temperature dial lies), tied up in a pink apron. The apron is Bambam’s but Bambam never cooks so it’s Yugyeom’s. “How would you feel if someone was setting you up with someone you didn’t like?”
“But he doesn’t know he doesn’t like Youngjae.”
Yugyeom raises his eyebrows.
“Well, he doesn’t!”
Yugyeom goes back to stirring his soup. “There’s no use now. Jaebum sounded very serious about-- what’d he say?”
“Tying my body around a street light.”
“Yeah. I’d take that seriously. You know he goes to those anger management classes and has to take that blood pressure medicine. I just wouldn’t be trying to give him a pulmonary embolism.”
Yugyeom believes that will be the end of it, but he’s wrong. Very wrong.
“Jackson.”
Yugyeom snaps out of his doze in the library. Papers surround his position, creating a faint Yugyeom-esque outline on the table where the papers were not, and when he jolts out of his half-asleep state, he’s staring straight at Bambam. He groans. “What about Jackson?”
“Jackson and Jaebum. That’s who Jaebum likes. It has to be.”
“Bambam, I swear--”
“No, no, hear me out.” Bambam takes a seat across from Yugyeom. The librarian looks at Bambam the same way a prison guard would eye a rowdy inmate.
“No, no, Bam, I’m studying, please--”
“Jackson’s always with Jaebum. They’re, like, inseparable; it’s so gross. Together all the time -- I mean, it just has to be Jackson.”
“We’re together all the time,” Yugyeom points out. “What does that say about us?”
“We don’t count. No, Jackson is totally Jaebum’s bae. How could I have been so blind? Something has to be done!” Bambam slams his fist into his open palm, and the librarian looks ready to impale Bambam on the flagpole outside.
Bambam sings a stream of words that sounds like “Seeyoulaterloveyoubye,” and Yugyeom puts his head in his hands. The only way to stop this will be to get to Jackson first -- yes. That has to be the course of action.
Yugyeom gathers up his things, eight page paper not forgotten but less threatening than a determined Bambam, and exits the library to hop on his bike and make his way to Jackson and Jaebum’s shared apartment.
“Yugyeom?” Jackson answers the door in his slippers and boxers, a huge white t-shirt covering up anything that might damage Yugyeom permanently. Yugyeom keeps his eyes on Jackson’s beaming face.
“Uh, yeah, hi? I was just wondering if--”
“Come inside, come inside. It’s been awhile. I haven’t been to the gym in ages -- oh, I’m a slob.” The inside of the apartment is as Jackson says. Empty cans and used paper plates are littered over every possible surface, and Yugyeom looks back to Jackson to see dark circles under his shiny eyes. “It’s been rough, but I’ll be okay.”
Yugyeom seems to have missed this nugget of information. “Oh…yeah?”
“Yeah.” Jackson nods, like the worst is behind him and from here all he has to go is up. “I’m better off without him. Too much drama. Too much emotional instability.”
“Right. Uh, is Jaebum here?”
“No, it’s a school day; he’s still at school?”
“Oh. Yeah, of course.” Yugyeom twiddles his thumbs and asks, “Have you seen Bambam?”
“Should I have?”
Yugyeom sends a thankful prayer up to the heavens. “If you see him, he’s talking crazy. Don’t listen to him.”
Jackson smacks his hands against his face. “Jaebum told me about what he tried to do with Youngjae.”
“Yes, that.”
Jackson lets out his high-pitched keening laugh, and Yugyeom rolls his eyes. “Bam,” Jackson says once he catches his breath, “is always up to something.”
“Well, this is just a heads up, because--”
“Oh, no, no, no, no!” Jackson cries with vehemence, his laughter dying instantly and his eyes welling back up with tears. Yugyeom clamps his mouth shut. “I’m not ready for another relationship right now; I couldn’t; I can’t. There’s-- it’s too early for another.” He wipes at his eyes. “I can hardly go out in public right now. I’m so--”
To ease Jackson’s distress, Yugyeom quickly says, “I’ll tell him; don’t worry about it.”
But that night is a different story.
“That’s not what he told me!” Bambam cries, wearing his apron for once in his life. He’s making those mini pizza bite things you stick in the oven, and he has the top of his hair tied up in a sprig of a ponytail. “Jackson said yes to a blind date.”
Yugyeom is lying on the couch, massaging his temples. “That’s funny because he told me he’s getting over a break up.”
“Oh, he is. I convinced him that this is the best way to fix a broken heart.”
“By setting him up on a ‘blind date’ with his best friend. You are truly astounding.”
Bambam just chortles as he peers in at his pizza bites.
“Anyway, how are you working that out?” Yugyeom sits up, the reality weighing in. “He won’t voluntarily go with Jaebum. And I don’t think Jaebum trusts you very much over the last time.”
Bambam laughs louder now, staring at Yugyeom with an oven mitt covering his mouth. “Jackson’s date isn’t with Jaebum; it’s with Mark.”
Yugyeom feels like Bambam ripped out the couch from underneath him. It feels like his butt has hit the cold floor. “Wha--? Bambam!”
“What?” He sounds so innocent that Yugyeom momentarily believes that he really doesn’t remember the Fallout of 2012. But then Bambam’s smile seems a little too knowing.
“You can’t have Jackson go on a date with Jaebum’s ex, are you that crazy?”
Bambam goes back to chortling.
“Oh my god. When Jackson finds out you set him up with Mark, you’re dead. You are dead. I’m not helping you with this; you’re on your own.”
Bambam waves his mitted hands at Yugyeom. “I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry about it.”
And Yugyeom tries to not worry about it. The problem is that Jaebum’s threat about Bambam making friends with a light pole shouldn’t be treated lightly, and he believes that threat extends to any emotional damage done towards Jackson, and Yugyeom values Bambam. His half of the rent is invaluable, and he supposes the companionship is also something to consider even if Yugyeom gets the short end of the stick most of the time.
Yugyeom growls and stuffs his face back into the couch, listening to Bambam burn the pizza rolls.
The day of the blind date is more calm then Yugyeom anticipated. For one, Bambam hasn’t mentioned it once since he brought it up first, a week ago, and has let Yugyeom do his homework in relative silence without Bambam interrupting and asking for opinions on who would look good with who and complaints of “I just want everyone to be happy,” in a needling voice. No, it’s been so quiet that Yugyeom has started to anticipate Bambam’s chaos.
“Hey, Yugyeom--”
“Yes!” Yugyeom shoots straight up, a paper full of notes attached to his cheek. There are ink stains on his hands, and he was just dozing, but at the sound of Bambam’s voice he’s ready to hear it. He’s ready to hear the oozing details of tonight. He’s ready to hear all about it and try to discern how pissed Jaebum’s going to be.
Bambam stands in Yugyeom’s doorway like he’s looking on a very sad scene. Yugyeom stress-cramming for his finals isn’t sad. (It’s pathetic.)
“I was just letting you know I was going to the restaurant to oversee the fruition of my plan, and that I’ll be back later. Kisses,” he adds as he spins away from the door, wiggling his fingers at Yugyeom over his shoulder. He’s dressed to go out. His black skin-tight pants and the light blue button up he bought himself as a Christmas present last year. His hair’s also spiked up on his head, and if Yugyeom’s right, Bambam was wearing eyeliner.
“Wait, wha- You’re leaving now?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Yugyeom falls out of his desk chair and crawls to his closet to find washed pants.
Fifty minutes later, Yugyeom’s glued to Bambam’s back as they shuffle into the restaurant. “I can’t believe you came in that.” Bambam frowns at Yugyeom’s ensemble, and the younger sighs.
“These are the only pants I had.”
“Your shirt, then?”
Yugyeom doesn’t see what’s the problem with his pants and shirt. It’s probably because it’s the same shirt Bambam’s wearing (“It looked really good on me, and I thought it might be the same for you; anyway, it’s yours,” is what he said at Christmas), but Yugyeom doesn’t know what Bambam’s problem could be with his pants.
Yugyeom whispers, “Hateful.”
Before Bambam can whip him a glare, the waiter comes. “Just two?” The boys follow the man back into the restaurant, and Bambam and Yugyeom keep their heads down, eyes averted.
“Do you see Jackson?”
Bambam looks around for a quick moment. “There!” The waiter however is leading them in the opposite direction, and Bambam taps on his shoulder. “Excuse me, could we sit at that table?”
The table in question hasn’t been cleaned yet, but it’s a booth with small wooden divider separating it from Jackson’s. Jackson and Mark shouldn’t see them, but Bambam and Yugyeom will be able to hear their conversation.
The waiter gives them a strange look but gives in when Bambam slips a crumpled up five dollar bill into his hand. “Bam, I’m not looking to eavesdrop,” Yugyeom hisses. He’s ignored.
Only when they’re seated does Bambam smile at him. The table is sticky and they have to keep their voices hushed lest Jackson hear them, and Yugyeom’s questioning why he said yes to this. He leans across the table and whisper-shouts at Bambam, “This isn’t what I signed up for!”
Bambam spreads his grin, and Yugyeom knows that, in a way, by putting on proper clothes and following Bambam out the apartment, he did.
He’s about to say something else about the situation when Mark makes his arrival.
“Jackson?”
“Oh my god.”
Bambam presses his ear agains the divider, and Yugyeom slumps down in his seat in embarrassment. They can hear Jackson stand up suddenly -- is that his knee slamming into the underside of the table? -- and Mark apologizing profusely.
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry. Wow, this is….”
And then a fountain of tears erupts. From Jackson, the two boys assume because then Mark asks, “Hey, are you okay?”
Mark and Jaebum may have broken up a little over two years ago, but Jackson has managed to retain a semi-decent friendship with him. It mainly consists of Mark visiting the gym just to say that he actually goes, and Jackson slipping workout regimens into his bag whenever Mark’s not looking, but even Yugyeom could tell that a date is a major rule break in the bro-code. What was Bambam thinking?
Bambam still has his ear pressed hard against the divider and seems to be evaluating the situation from a scientific standpoint. If Jaebum minus Mark equals X, what is the value of Mark plus Jackson? Or something.
Yugyeom was never good at math.
“He’s crying,” Yugyeom mouths to Bambam. His friend nods profusely, looking delighted.
“Hey, are you okay?” Mark asks. Yugyeom thought Mark had actually left by now. “What’s wrong?” It sounds like…he’s sitting down?
“N- Nothing,” Jackson hiccups. He says that but soon he’s sobbing about his ex, and Mark keeps wavering between concerned and uncomfortable. Yugyeom is completely past concerned and very deep -- fifty feet down -- in uncomfortable.
“He didn’t say why or- or anything!” Jackson is voice escalates in pitch the more he talks, and he sounds quite hysterical; Yugyeom feels like shit.
“Bambam, I hate you.”
“I didn’t know…you guys broke up.” Mark sounds hesitant, and there’s some rustling and silverware clanking together.
“Thanks,” Jackson says and subsequently sniffs, accepting whatever Mark’s handed him. “Yeah, it was, uh, only two weeks ago, but, uh, yeah.”
“It was that fencer guy, right?”
“Yeah.” Jackson’s voice wobbles. “Look, I didn’t know it was gonna be you; I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not your fault. I thought Bambam knew what he was doing, but….”
“I don’t think he meant to. I mean, he probably forgot about the whole thing with Jaebum. Probably. It was awhile ago.”
“Yeah.”
There’s a bit more silence, enough time to convince Yugyeom this is truly wrong, and before Yugyeom can force himself away from the situation, Jackson’s speaking again. “I just don’t get it. I put in so much effort for him, and now look at me.” More nose-blowing. “I- I- I feel like a wreck, and--”
Yugyeom can hear movement on the other side, and Mark’s voice is considerably closer, like he switched seats to sit on Jackson’s side. Yugyeom can imagine the comforting arm around Jackson’s shoulders.
“Oh, you’re not a wreck.”
“I feel like one. He was just everything to me, and now here I am….”
Yugyeom slides out of the booth, and Bambam turns questioning eyes to him. “What are you doing?” he whisper-demands.
“I’m not listening to this,” Yugyeom returns in the same whisper-not-whisper.
“You’re going to miss everything!”
Yugyeom walks away from the table as fast as he can. Jackson and Mark might see him -- in a way he hopes they will just so Bambam can attempt and fail to explain himself -- but he doesn’t hear anything behind him that indicates they have. Yugyeom shoves his hands in his pockets and blows out the doors of the restaurant.
This was a waste of time. Yugyeom’s not even sure why he’s entertaining Bambam with these notions, and it’s mainly a fault within himself that is the cause; he’s too persuadable. Now his night has been clouded by the sound of Jackson’s crying, and Yugyeom knows no song on his iPod will get that out of his head.
He gets back to the apartment and changes into gym clothes. That’s the only thing that will get his mind going up and away from the events of the restaurant. He texts Bambam to let him know where he is, ignoring the two that were sent to him, asking to bring home milk and granola bars.
His mood has been shot. He enters the gym’s double doors, and it must be apparent because Youngjae actually says something to him. “Rough day?”
Youngjae’s nice, a little awkward, so it speaks volumes that he was the one to initiate conversation with him. Yugyeom knows he can put aside his grumpiness for two seconds to entertain Youngjae.
Besides the quick greetings in the smoothie shop, together they’ve had a total of two full conversations before, mainly thanks to Bambam, and Yugyeom’s sorta surprised that Youngjae wants to talk to him without Bambam here. Well. Yugyeom has a feeling that more people would talk to him if Bambam wasn’t attached to his hip for ninety percent of the day. Yugyeom will have to look more into it.
“Yeah, it’s been…something.” Yugyeom wipes at his face.
“Where’s Bambam?”
Grumbling, Yugyeom says, “Being to nosey for his own good. It’s just me tonight.” Yugyeom barely finishes his sentence before a chirping voice filters through the air. Youngjae and Yugyeom turn their heads to see a young man clad in skin-tight workout pants and a loose hot-pink tank-top striding towards them.
“Jin- Jinyoung.” Youngjae mutters his name under his breath, and Yugyeom only picks up on it because of his extra keen hearing. He thinks he knows who Youngjae buys the second smoothie for.
Jinyoung is Bambam’s pilates friend (“We have matching mats,” Bambam recited eagerly just the other day). And, as Yugyeom zeroes in on Jinyoung’s mat rolled up under his arm, he can confirm that Bambam was telling the truth.
“Oh, hey.” Jinyoung now sees Yugyeom and, secondarily, Youngjae. “Where’s Bambam?”
Alone, Yugyeom is starting to realize this is the most popular question asked of him. “Doing things. Being a loser.”
Jinyoung pouts. “Aw, well, he missed a really good class tonight. He told me he’d be here.”
Yugyeom shrugs. “I think something came up. So, yeah, it’s just me here tonight.”
“I bet that’s a little lonely.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s always with you?”
Yugyeom colors dramatically -- he can feel it. “Well, sometimes a little separation’s good.”
Jinyoung registers the bitterness in Yugyeom’s words. He makes a face. “Ah, I’m gonna leave that one alone. Sounds like you two need some couple’s counseling.”
Before Yugyeom can express his outrage over the statement, Jinyoung moves past him to the counter, finally in front of Youngjae. “Hi.”
Yugyeom clamps his mouth shut at Jinyoung’s tone. He’s dense, but he can hear flirtation from miles away, and from the look on Youngjae’s face, it’s totally welcome.
“I’m gonna go ahead and pay this month’s bill.” Jinyoung digs around in the athletic jacket draped over his arm, and Youngjae’s face looks dumb-struck that Jinyoung’s even talking to him, even if he is the one at the desk supposed to be doing his job.
Jinyoung hands over his payment and when his and Youngjae’s fingers brush when exchanging it, Youngjae’s cheeks go scarlet. Yugyeom knows because he was watching for it. And so was Jinyoung it seems, because he starts to chuckle, and that only increases the redness of Youngjae’s face.
“Alright, boys,” Jinyoung announces when he collects himself. “See you not tomorrow but the next day,” he directs at Youngjae then looks at Yugyeom, “and see you some other time. Clear the air with your bff for me, okay? Okay.” He waves goodbye and disappears out the door, Youngjae watching the sway of his rear the whole time.
Yugyeom looks at Youngjae. “You’re not subtle.”
“I- what?” He starts to splutter. “What? No. You--”
Yugyeom raises an eyebrow. “You’ve got it bad, man. How long have you been….” He gestures at the door, to where Jinyoung just disappeared.
“Jinyoung? I like Jinyoung?” Youngjae tries to scoff, but Yugyeom keeps smiling at him in a knowing way, and his poor game of pretend is broken. “I- Well. A few weeks now? How long have you been watching me buy smoothies?”
Yugyeom moves to the counter and rests his elbows on it, leaning in close so they can discuss Youngjae’s love life without many over-hearing. Not that they would. The pop music in the gym is cranked up to a considerable level, but Yugyeom does it anyway.
Youngjae sighs. “Do you think Jinyoung…knows?”
“Oh, yeah. He knows.”
Youngjae looks very distraught behind the counter, spinning his chair in distress. “He’s been teasing me -- I think.” He bites his lip and continues. “For weeks now, about as long as I realized my- my feelings for him, he’s been doing that.”
“That?”
“Like…messing with me?”
Yugyeom thinks on the display he just saw. “Does he do it a lot?” Bambam hasn’t said one word about Jinyoung’s relationship status and hasn’t tried to hook him up yet. He wonders if Youngjae’s feelings are one-sided.
“He does it enough.” Youngjae looks very exhausted, mentally weary. He puts his head in his hands and speaks to the floor, “I’ve never…had a boyfriend.”
“It’s the same as having a girlfriend. For the most part.” Yugyeom shifts his weight from foot to foot.
“No, well, I’ve never had a girlfriend either? Or, girls are cute, but-- I just….”
And here lies the problem. Yugyeom watches Youngjae suffer a little more before supplying, “You’re not sure about it.”
Youngjae nods.
“And you’re afraid to….”
“To hurt his feelings. If it turns out that I’m not gay? Or maybe I am -- I don’t know.” He looks up at Yugyeom, finally realizing what sort of conversation they’re having in the middle of the gym, still very busy, and who he’s having it with. “Jeez, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all this on you.” He starts mumbling and blushing, and Yugyeom concludes that Youngjae is a mess.
“No, it’s okay,” he interjects before Youngjae can apologize any further. “This is nothing to what Bam dumps on me.”
Youngjae chews on his lower lip before saying, “I’m sure he has a lot to tell.”
“Yeah.” Yugyeom flashes back through various talks they’ve had, ranging from simple ones that Yugyeom can help with to ones that have driven Yugyeom from the room, clearly labeled “Too Much Information,” ones that have forced Yugyeom into telling Bambam that he needs to call Jinyoung if he needs an outlet. More gravely, Yugyeom says, “Yeah.”
Right then, Yugyeom’s pocket buzzes. Bambam’s whining about the lack of granola bars in the their cabinets, and Yugyeom stuffs his phone back in his pocket.
“I just don’t know what to tell him,” Youngjae whispers, still lost in his feelings. “Whenever he talks to me I just go blank.”
“That has a tendency to happen to people when they like someone.”
Youngjae’s eyes bear into Yugyeom’s. “Will Bambam…. Do you think he’ll help me?”
“I’m absolutely sure.”
“Because I need all the help that I can get with this.”
Yugyeom makes a promise then, one that he doesn’t realize makes him sound an awful lot like Bambam, setting up and advising in the ways of romance, and it’s only when Yugyeom leaves the gym that night, Bambam beckoning him home to eat with him, that he understands fully what this means.
He can say that he wants none of Bambam’s antics, but he can’t stop himself from participating.
“You’re absolutely sure?”
“Absolutely.” Yugyeom cradles his bowl of broth in his hands. Bambam is still wearing his getup from the restaurant, but he’s taken off his eyeliner, his bangs pulled up in a ponytail. He’s got his bowl of noodles while Yugyeom hoards the broth, both respectively preferring noodles over broth and broth rather than noodles.
Bambam looks perplexed. “Jinyoung would have told me, though, I’m sure of it.”
“So you think Jinyoung’s just messing around with Youngjae?”
“I- hmm….” Bambam stops himself and seems to really think about it. It’s a full two minutes before he answers, “I don’t think he would? Jinyoung is Jinyoung, but I don’t think he’d be mean like that. Because that’s mean.”
“Says the child that just tried to set up Jackson and Mark?”
“Okay that was a mistake. The rest of the dinner was just Jackson venting about his issues with his ex, and it was horrible. I need to go see a priest and schedule a confessional.”
Yugyeom doesn’t disagree.
“But,” Bambam resumes, when both are nearly done with their dinner, “I still can’t figure out why Jinyoung wouldn’t tell me; he always tells me.”
“Maybe, to him, it’s not important?”
“No, he tells me whether it’s important or not.”
Yugyeom and Bambam look at each other for a moment, silently communicating across the table. Yugyeom’s the one to voice it, however. “Maybe…it is important?”
“Oh my god.”
Two days later, Youngjae’s sitting in their apartment, looking very confused as Bambam circles his chair that’s been set int he middle of the room. It might be because Bambam is wearing the apron and has tinfoil in his hair to revive his faded color, or maybe because it’s Bambam and this whole situation is just slightly bizarre.
Yugyeom walks into this, his classes ending early, and it seems the two are in the middle of a very deep discussion. Bambam looks up at Yugyeom’s entrance and says to Youngjae, “This was good. We’ll talk later, okay?”
Youngjae nods and looks back at Yugyeom. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Yugyeom glances from Youngjae to Bambam, wondering what transpired while he wasn’t there.
Youngjae grabs his coat from the table, and Bambam shoos him out with a smile before he can get in anything to say to Yugyeom. The door clicks shut, and all that’s left is Bambam’s smile now turned on the taller boy. “Youngjae’s sexually confused.”
“Is that something to be smiling about?”
“I think he has a chance with Jinyoung.”
“You talked to him?”
“No, but I just know.” Bambam looks on the verge of cackling, and once again, Yugyeom feels like he’s gotten into something bigger than he can handle.
Yugyeom and Bambam have conspired, co-conspired, and enter the gym as a united front that Tuesday afternoon. Yugyeom dressed in gym shorts and an Adidas water-resistant shirt and Bambam dressed in bright blue, form-fitting jogging pants, a huge white t-shirt draped over his thin frame -- oh yes, they’re quite the pair.
The target is the front desk.
Youngjae sits there, not yet realized what’s coming toward him, and the two boys make large strides to him, purpose driving them. “Youngjae!” Bambam’s not very quiet call does grab his attention, and a frightened look passes over his face.
“Y- You guys.”
“Look,” Bambam says, folding his hands on the counter. He leans in close but doesn’t bother to hush his voice; secrets aren’t his forte. “We’ve made a plan for what you should do about Jinyoung.” Youngjae open his mouth to speak, but Bambam overrides him with a firm, “Don’t worry about it. We’ve figured it all out. What we need to know is--”
“Actually,” Youngjae interjects before Bambam gets too carried away. “He asked me out.”
Yugyeom is positive that Bambam might faint so he holds his hands out behind him just in case he sways that way. “He- he- he- he what?” Bambam sounds speechless, and Youngjae starts to flush red. As usual.
“He came over here, not half an hour ago, and…he…well….”
“Yes?” Bambam sounds ready to pass out from lack of oxygen flow to his brain.
“He asked me out.” Youngjae shrugs. “I didn’t know what to do; I flubbed. I think I said yes?”
“Oh my god.” It’s Yugyeom that says it. Bambam is too compromised mentally to even get another word out, still trying to comprehend the situation.
“He wasn’t going to tell me! Jinyoung, wasn’t even-- I’m now very upset!”
Yugyeom puts a hand on Bambam’s shoulder as a silent reminder that they’re in public. “Yes, I can see that. You need to rework our strategy.”
“Strategy?” Youngjae chirps.
Yugyeom pushes Bambam away from the counter, the poor kid scrolling through his and Jinyoung’s messages on his phone to find nothing of anything that would tell Bambam of his plans to woo the desk boy. “Not important. What is important, is how we go from here. So you’re sure of this date? You’re serious about it?”
Youngjae nods.
“Positive.”
He nods so hard that his head looks unhinged from his neck.
“At least he’s reliable,” Bambam mutters, very bitter, in an endless scroll.
“Where is this date?”
“The boardwalk?”
Bambam snaps his head around so fast that people within five feet hear his spine crack. “The boardwalk?”
“Yes?”
Bambam composes himself soon enough. He begins to complain of cramps in his side, taking Yugyeom by the arm and pulling him toward the exit. Yugyeom tosses a quick “see you later!” over his shoulder before cool air meets his exposed body parts, and Bambam is fuming in the parking lot.
“The boardwalk?”
“What about the boardwalk?” Yugyeom looks down where Bambam’s arm is still hooked through his.
Bambam sighs dramatically as if Yugyeom should know better. “Jinyoung wouldn’t waste his time to mess with Youngjae’s feelings by taking him to the boardwalk -- my god. That’s one of Jinyoung’s favorite date places. He isn’t kidding around.”
Yugyeom frowns, thinking hard. “I wonder if he knows Youngjae still has some reservations.”
“Jinyoung won’t care. He’s not the type to get hung up on that.”
“So…what do we do now?”
Yugyeom and Bambam stand in the gym’s parking lot, with their linked arms, very aware that they just left without asking for the time of the boardwalk rendezvous. They promptly turn and head back inside.
Friday is the day.
Bambam has had Youngjae cooped up in the apartment all day -- Yugyeom’s not sure for what, there’s only so many things you could possibly do to the poor guy -- but finally, at five-thirty in the afternoon, the two emerge. It rouses Yugyeom from his nap on the couch, his afternoon class cancelled.
“He’s ready,” Bambam announces.
Youngjae definitely does look ready. Bambam has seemed to give him the whole treatment, a little gel in the hair to give it some lift and style, and Bambam has graced the guy with a button up and must have told him to come in the nicest pair of jeans he owns. Seeing as Youngjae typically wears worn-out athletic clothes this is a huge step up.
The plan is to maneuver Youngjae to the date, and, in Yugyeom’s version, come back to pick him up around nine-thirty if Youngjae doesn’t specify otherwise. Bambam, however, campaigned to make an effort to follow the two around. His version was scrapped upon proposal.
Which Yugyeom and Bambam have no way to pick Youngjae up as they don’t drive, but they know someone who does.
“Thanks, Jaebum.”
The four are sitting in Jaebum’s car, amidst Friday evening traffic, and Jaebum looks across at Bambam. It seems they’ve worked things out. “Not a problem.” He looks in the backseat. “How are things with you, Hakyeon?”
There’s a long moment of silence before Yugyeom clears his throat. “This is Youngjae. Hakyeon leads the aerobics class.”
“Oh.” Jaebum takes a second look back. “Sorry about that--” The name must finally feel familiar to him, and he looks at Bambam sidelong with a frown. “Is this….”
“No,” Bambam says quickly. “Keep driving.”
A little further into the ride, Jaebum asks, “So. Youngjae. You like workin’ the front desk?”
Youngjae clears his throat. “Uh, it’s not that bad. It’ll get me through college right now.”
“Ah. Yeah. I’m a P.E. teacher at a middle school. It’s not that bad, but lemme tell you about when the kids are hyped up on sugar after lunch, and--”
“Jaebum, turn here.”
The car lurches to the right, and Youngjae almost ends up in Yugyeom’s lap. A great way to start the night. Jaebum haphazardly parks the car, and as soon as the car slows down, Yugyeom pushes Youngjae out, following right behind. “Thanks, Jaebum!” Bambam hops out as well.
The boardwalk is busy with night life. Lots of couples plague the scene, increasing the affection in the air by seventy-eight percent, and Yugyeom can almost feel the romantic notions. “Alright,” Yugyeom says, massaging Youngjae’s shoulders. The three are hovering by the popcorn stand -- this is where Youngjae and Jinyoung are to meet. “If we leave you here are you good?”
“No.” Youngjae’s knees are shaking, and he looks close to passing out.
Bambam smacks him on the shoulder. “You’ll do fine. Jinyoung’s great at chit-chat, so don’t worry too much. Just breathe and be yourself.”
Even that seems like asking for too much, according to the incredulous expression on Youngjae’s face.
“Alright,” Yugyeom announces. “Text us with what you want us to do.” He backpedals quickly, snatching up Bambam along the way, disgruntled whines emerging from the older, and he corrals Bambam away from the scene before he tries to do something drastic.
“Why can’t we just stay?”
“Do you hear yourself when you talk?”
Bambam’s about to retort, but they’ve come back into sight of Jaebum’s car. Jaebum is outside the car and appears to be wrestling the door handle. They can hear him cursing from even this distance.
“What’s wrong?” Yugyeom speed walks over, but he’s starting to get a bad idea of what’s happened.
“I locked my keys inside!” Jaebum has now resorted to pounding his fists on the top of his car in a slow, heavy manner. “They’re right there!” He jabs at the glass with his other hand. “Right there.”
“So, uh, who do we call for that?”
Jaebum groans. “I’ll call someone. I-- I’ll call.” Looking deeply troubled, Jaebum pulls out his cellphone. “I can’t believe this.”
Yugyeom’s not really sure what reason Jaebum would have had to get out of his car, anyway, but that thought is interrupted by Bambam. “Wonderful,” he says, sliding up next to Yugyeom’s elbow. “Let’s go have fun.”
Yugyeom knows this is a poorly veiled attempt to spy on Youngjae and Jinyoung, but he weighs his options. He can go with Bambam or he can stay here and -- he looks over to see Jaebum kicking the sidewalk furiously as whoever on the other end has him on hold -- deal with Jaebum.
Yugyeom feels Bambam pull him back onto the boardwalk.
They don’t have to go very far to see Youngjae and Jinyoung walking between different food stalls. “Look at him,” Bambam says. “Still hasn’t told me one thing about this with Youngjae; he is so fired.”
Yugyeom rolls his eyes. “Look, we’re not spying. We’re gonna….” He searches, almost desperately for something else to occupy them. “Win a goldfish. Bambam, we’re gonna win a goldfish.” He turns Bambam around in the complete opposite direction and guides him over.
The destined booth has a game setup that involves popping balloons with darts, and Yugyeom attempts to tug Bambam to it -- they could raise a goldfish, for sure -- but Bambam’s digging his heels into the ground, and they’re quite the sight. At least they didn’t wear matching outfits.
“I don’t want to play games, I just-- Jackson?”
Yugyeom looks up to see Jackson and Mark at a neighboring stand, snacking on tall cones of cotton candy, and it takes a moment before either sees the matchmaking pair. Mark notices first. “Hey!”
Bambam wriggles out of Yugyeom’s hold before the younger can stop him. Seeing as how Bambam is loose and getting away, Yugyeom has to follow behind -- he feels like a grumpy chaperone.
“What are you guys doing here?” It’s Jackson who asks, taking too large of a chunk of cotton candy and his mouth becomes a furry pink splotch.
Yugyeom admittedly plans on lying to them about what they’re here for, but Bambam spills it before he can stop him. “Youngjae’s on a date. With Jinyoung.”
“Jinyoung?” they chorus.
“Yeah. The jerk didn’t even tell me he was going on a date with Youngjae, so Yugyeom and I are here to assist.”
“No, we’re not. Well-- We are. But we’re not spying.”
Jackson looks at Yugyeom like he’s grown a third head. He seems to be a lot more put together than he was at the restaurant, and that’s good, but he’s got trouble in his eyes. “Spying -- why the hell not?”
Mark speaks up. “There’s no way the date’s legit. Jinyoung got pulled into a bad bet, or something. There’s no way. I’ve seen Youngjae’s rat, and Jinyoung doesn’t seem the type to like overgrown rodents.”
“His rat is pretty big,” Jackson comments.
“It is.”
Bambam cuts in, “Jinyoung just doesn’t do that. He goes on dates, but he’s never bet on them before. That’s not him. And, plus, his rat looks pretty normal-sized to me.”
Jackson scratches under his backwards snapback. “I dunno. He tried flirting with Jaebum that one time.” Mark’s head does a quick double-take. “When Jaebum didn’t realize he was even being flirted with, Jinyoung said he was put up to it. And Jaebum’s hot. Jaebum’s the hottest middle-school P.E teacher you could dig up.”
It’s obvious Yugyeom didn’t see how well Bambam cleaned up Youngjae tonight, but, once again, Bambam is firing away before he can, “Oh my god, that was a mistake. He got nervous and jacked the whole thing up; he wasn’t really put up to it. He just got embarrassed.”
Jackson shrugs, chewing on more cotton candy.
“He liked Jaebum?” Everyone looks at Mark, at his sudden outburts, and he colors slightly. “I mean, what?” Bambam opens his mouth, probably so say something intrusive, but Yugyeom claps a hand over it this time.
Jackson hasn’t noticed any of this, dropping out of the conversation once his side of the story became irrelevant, but is now waving his phone in one hand and the cotton candy in the other. He’s beaming ear to ear. “By the way, I got back together with him!”
The focus of the conversation shifts towards Jackson’s love-life.
“Oh…yeah?”
“Yeah!” Jackson pauses to text something. “Last night he came over and explained everything! I actually didn’t do anything? Like, in his eyes we weren’t even broken up; he thought we were still together.”
“So,” Yugyeom says slowly, “you got back together, or…?”
“Yeah.”
“Why did you even break up in the first place?”
Jackson laughs, “Well, that’s a funny story -- now it is, anyway -- but--”
“Hey, guys.” Jaebum appears at the edge of their mini-circle, still radiating frustration. “I’m waiting for a tow-truck.”
“What’s the problem?” Mark asks. He’s half-hiding behind his cone of half-eaten cotton candy, but his eyes are glued to Jaebum. Yugyeom and Bambam watch with utter interest. The two don’t really talk since the fateful events of two years previous, and this is rare footage.
“Locked…myself out.” Jaebum mutters the words, embarrassed, and it’s for good reason. Everyone tries to not snicker, and Jaebum just simmers. “But it’s okay. I’m getting a tow truck and I just have to wait between thirty to forty minutes. How’s the date going?”
“Well, I wouldn’t know,” Bambam says. “Yugyeom won’t let me check.”
Jaebum frowns. “You crazy kids have phones don’t you?”
Jackson waves his phone in Jaebum’s face, the single word alerting him. “I got back together with him!”
“You told me twice last night and again this morning.”
Mark starts laughing although it’s not very funny and makes everyone else uncomfortable. His laughter peters out. Soon a silence spreads over them, and Yugyeom and Bambam feel like third wheels as Mark and Jaebum keep staring the other down, Jackson blissfully unaware in his digital world.
“We’re gonna check on the two lovebirds.” Yugyeom marches off, knowing Bambam’s close behind, and they go in the direction that Jinyoung and Youngjae went. At a safe distance away, Yugyeom sighs, “That was close.”
“I thought you didn’t want to pry.”
“I don’t, but I had to get out of there before two people started making out.”
For once Bambam’s the skeptical one. “No, I don’t think they’d--”
“I don’t know. I was getting vibes.” They walk for awhile, but no one familiar comes into sight. Yugyeom stuffs his hands in his pockets. “So if Youngjae and Jinyoung are a success will you be happy?”
Bambam thinks long and hard. “Yes. Yes, I think so.”
“Good, because I don’t know how much more I can take of this.”
“What if all our friends got together? Like how I wanted. Mark and Jaebum could get back together, Jackson’s happy, and Jinyoung….”
“Yeah, Bambam it’s beautiful.” Yugyeom rubs his eyes. “But I’m tired.”
“You need me to bake you cookies.”
“I need the semester to end.” But after only a heartbeat’s pause: “Cookies wouldn’t hurt, though.” Even if they’re Bambam’s burned, crusty version -- he could go for those.
Bambam looks like he’s been electrocuted as his pocket vibrates. He claws at his pants to get it out, fumbling to check his notifications. “It’s just Jackson.” His expression falls a bit until he exclaims, “Jaebum and Mark are making out against Jaebum’s car -- oh my god.”
“I was right.”
“They’re gonna get back together,” Bambam squeals, and Yugyeom is happy. Bambam’s happiness is always so infectious to him, so it overrides the tiredness that he does feel. He smiles.
A second text beckons Bambam’s attention once again, and this time it’s Youngjae. “He doesn’t need a ride,” Bambam relays. “He and Jinyoung are having a great time, and, in his words, he owes us big.”
“Why, we didn’t even do anything. I mean, you spruced him up, but other than that….”
“Hey, we--” Yugyeom waits for Bambam to list their accomplishments, but Bambam deflates. All they managed to accomplish was mass confusion in their circle of friends, that luckily they (Bambam) have been forgiven for. “Okay, you got me.”
Yugyeom laughs. “Now we just need a ride. Let’s hit up Jackson -- find out how he got here. I get to go home and study for a final.” He holds out his arm, and Bambam interlocks his elbow with his.
As they search for Jackson, Bambam asks, “You think as payment Youngjae will surrender his smoothie reward cards? You know, so I can get free large next time?”
[readers, don't forget to leave a comment! anonymous is on if you're shy.]
Title: (please don’t) match me up
Pairing(s)/focus: multiple pairings, endgame!jb/mark, jr/youngjae
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 8,081
Author's notes: i had a lot of fun with this prompt, and i’d like to thank you for giving it to me! merry christmas and happy holidays ^^
Summary: Yugyeom thinks Bambam should stick to his smoothies rather than playing Cupid, but Bambam, as always, has other ideas.
Bambam has his non-fat strawberry-banana smoothie clutched between his hands and sucks it down greedily, pausing at lengthy intervals only because the brain freeze is too powerful for him to combat.
Bambam is a twig. He’s tiny little arms and legs attached to a human torso with a big blabbing head resting atop. He sucks down smoothies like water, and Yugyeom indulges him on their afternoons at the smoothie shop, using Bambam’s stamp card when he buys his own smoothie (Yugyeom hates smoothies) just so Bambam can get that much closer to filling out the card and getting a free smoothie of his choice.
Yugyeom sacrifices a lot for his impish friend, he believes. He’s been picking up after him for nearly fifteen years, and often times, Yugyeom wonders if there’s a reward card someone can stamp for him.
“So this is my plan,” Bambam announces, once he’s drained his cup dry. Yugyeom’s only a third of the way done with his own. “Jaebum and Youngjae.”
“What about them?”
Bambam hands Yugyeom a look like he’s stupid. That the mere mention of two of their friends didn’t elicit a gasp of excitement from Yugyeom, is almost offensive to Bambam. “A date! Yugyeom, they need to go on a date!”
Yugyeom grimaces and puts his smoothie down. He’s not sure what’s more repulsive. The smoothie or the words coming out of Bambam’s mouth. “Don’t do this.” Bambam looks like he might protest. “No, I’m being serious.”
Because the last time Bambam tried to set two people up it ended in a trip to the hospital and potato salad smeared on the ceiling (it was Yugyeom’s family reunion -- Bambam’s been banned from further ones). Yugyeom would rather not have that repeated.
Bambam is not to be silenced. “Jaebum and Youngjae -- the way of the future.”
“No, no, no.”
“Jaebum just looks so lonely. You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that Youngjae wouldn’t be good for him?”
“Jaebum’s a middle school P.E teacher; I’m sure he’s capable of finding his own dates.”
“Nonsense!”
“You can’t seriously be considering this.”
Bambam sticks his nose into the air, a finger raised, and declares, “I will make it happen!”
Bambam makes something happen, but it isn’t a Youngjae-Jaebum date.
Yugyeom and Bambam frequent the city’s rec center, and this is where Bambam has adopted most of his friends. Yugyeom was a kindergarten addition, the first of many people Bambam has harassed into friendship, but he can’t be satiated. Yugyeom thinks that Bambam has to know everyone; it’s like a need. And so he’s been on a mission to adopt everyone under his wing.
“What’s up with Bambam?” Jaebum is standing next to the rack of weights and gives Yugyeom a funny look. He lifts weights downstairs with Yugyeom on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and the two have gotten to be close. “He keeps sending me weird texts.”
Oh, no. Yugyeom was hoping Bambam would drop it if he didn’t bring it up, but he was wrong. “Yeah? Uh, like what?”
Jaebum frowns. “He keeps bringing up that guy Youngjae. Isn’t Youngjae the bagger at the grocery store down the road? The one we go to sometimes?”
Yugyeom almost drops ten pound weight in his hands. He was holding it just to experiment, but Jaebum’s question makes Yugyeom nearly take his own foot off. “Youngjae’s the guy at the front desk.”
The name means nothing to him as he stares back at Yugyeom, blank. “What?”
“You’ve talked to him before? He sits at the front desk? Where we pay the bills?”
“That guy?” Jaebum finally matches the name to the face. “I thought his name was Sanghyuk.”
“No, Jaebum, no. That’s the guy who plays volleyball on Wednesday nights.”
Jaebum clears his expression, putting the name confusion behind him. “Okay, well, Bambam keeps talking about this guy. Do you know why?”
Yugyeom shrugs, feigning innocence.
“Hmm,” Jaebum hums. “It’s just that Bambam seems so interested. He keeps talking about this guy, like, ‘don’t you think he’s great?’ and ‘he’s so adorable.’”
Yugyeom swallows. Jaebum is really good at imitating the Bambam voice.
“I just…. He’s asking my opinion on him.” Jaebum looks thoughtful as he starts pumping his arms with the weights in his hands. “Is Bambam trying to date him?”
The weight really does drop on Yugyeom’s foot this time.
Once Yugyeom hobbled to his and Bambam’s shared apartment, after Jaebum gave him a ride out of sheer pity, he announces, “We have to talk.”
Bambam glances up from the cake decorating magazine between his hands, giving Yugyeom a reproachful look. “Oh my god, what did you do to yourself?” He has his pink bunny slippers on, swaddled in his enormous gray polka-dotted bathrobe, and this is a far too common sight. Bambam doesn’t kid around when it comes to comfy wear.
“Possibly have broken my foot.” Yugyeom hops in on the good foot. “Bam, Jaebum thinks you’re trying to go out with Youngjae.”
Bambam gasps.
“I swear. I was talking to him today, and--”
“I have to increase my efforts.” The bunny slippers wiggle, and Yugyeom feels close to falling over. He grabs the wall for support.
“No, just stop meddling. If Jaebum wants a date, he can find it on his own.” Yugyeom ends the conversation by heading to his bedroom and shutting the door. He can hear Bambam mumbling, still sitting in their living room, and Yugyeom knows this isn’t over in the least. He has to prepare for war.
Jaebum, through Yugyeom, becomes aware that he’s being set up. “Yeah. No thanks.” Jaebum gives Yugyeom a wrinkled smile, slightly uncomfortable that his younger friend was trying to score him a blind date (or not so blind -- though, Jaebum still isn’t quite sure who Youngjae is). He lets Bambam know over text, and Yugyeom expects the hysterics that await him back at the apartment.
Bambam comes bustling through the door in his yoga pants and over-sized gray t-shirt. He has his college books propped on one hip and his other hand in the air, waving it at Yugyeom, and he must have just come from his history class. “What the hell?”
Yugyeom throws his hands up in defense before Bambam nails him with one of those hefty books in the shoulder. A jolt of paint is sent through his arm, but Yugyeom does not give in. “I told you he didn’t want a date!”
“Stop meddling!”
Yugyeom splutters, “Me- You…you! You stop!”
Bambam goes to bed angry that night, and Yugyeom has a bruise on his shoulder the size of Youngjae’s pet rat. Yugyeom knows of this pet rat because Youngjae keeps a picture of it in his wallet, and the picture falls out every time Youngjae opens it up -- very inconvenient.
Yugyeom isn’t that acquainted with Youngjae, but while he waits for Bambam at the smoothie shop on certain afternoons, he will witness the desk-dweller stride into the shop, give Yugyeom a quick and polite “hi, Yugyeom” and order his smoothies. He does all this within three minutes, two smoothies in his hands when he leaves the shop, and that is how Yugyeom knows neither Youngjae nor Jaebum would be interested in a date with each other.
Youngjae clearly has someone else on his mind.
Bambam will not accept this truth, however, and violently pursues his willy-nilly idea until Jaebum sends him an almost borderline rude text to leave him alone. He subsequently sends an apology text nearly an hour later. Bambam, perturbed and hungry, bangs his head on the table. “Why won’t he just let me,” he pouts into the tabletop.
Yugyeom turns from where he’s busy stirring a pot of stew on their shoddy stove (sometimes the temperature dial lies), tied up in a pink apron. The apron is Bambam’s but Bambam never cooks so it’s Yugyeom’s. “How would you feel if someone was setting you up with someone you didn’t like?”
“But he doesn’t know he doesn’t like Youngjae.”
Yugyeom raises his eyebrows.
“Well, he doesn’t!”
Yugyeom goes back to stirring his soup. “There’s no use now. Jaebum sounded very serious about-- what’d he say?”
“Tying my body around a street light.”
“Yeah. I’d take that seriously. You know he goes to those anger management classes and has to take that blood pressure medicine. I just wouldn’t be trying to give him a pulmonary embolism.”
Yugyeom believes that will be the end of it, but he’s wrong. Very wrong.
“Jackson.”
Yugyeom snaps out of his doze in the library. Papers surround his position, creating a faint Yugyeom-esque outline on the table where the papers were not, and when he jolts out of his half-asleep state, he’s staring straight at Bambam. He groans. “What about Jackson?”
“Jackson and Jaebum. That’s who Jaebum likes. It has to be.”
“Bambam, I swear--”
“No, no, hear me out.” Bambam takes a seat across from Yugyeom. The librarian looks at Bambam the same way a prison guard would eye a rowdy inmate.
“No, no, Bam, I’m studying, please--”
“Jackson’s always with Jaebum. They’re, like, inseparable; it’s so gross. Together all the time -- I mean, it just has to be Jackson.”
“We’re together all the time,” Yugyeom points out. “What does that say about us?”
“We don’t count. No, Jackson is totally Jaebum’s bae. How could I have been so blind? Something has to be done!” Bambam slams his fist into his open palm, and the librarian looks ready to impale Bambam on the flagpole outside.
Bambam sings a stream of words that sounds like “Seeyoulaterloveyoubye,” and Yugyeom puts his head in his hands. The only way to stop this will be to get to Jackson first -- yes. That has to be the course of action.
Yugyeom gathers up his things, eight page paper not forgotten but less threatening than a determined Bambam, and exits the library to hop on his bike and make his way to Jackson and Jaebum’s shared apartment.
“Yugyeom?” Jackson answers the door in his slippers and boxers, a huge white t-shirt covering up anything that might damage Yugyeom permanently. Yugyeom keeps his eyes on Jackson’s beaming face.
“Uh, yeah, hi? I was just wondering if--”
“Come inside, come inside. It’s been awhile. I haven’t been to the gym in ages -- oh, I’m a slob.” The inside of the apartment is as Jackson says. Empty cans and used paper plates are littered over every possible surface, and Yugyeom looks back to Jackson to see dark circles under his shiny eyes. “It’s been rough, but I’ll be okay.”
Yugyeom seems to have missed this nugget of information. “Oh…yeah?”
“Yeah.” Jackson nods, like the worst is behind him and from here all he has to go is up. “I’m better off without him. Too much drama. Too much emotional instability.”
“Right. Uh, is Jaebum here?”
“No, it’s a school day; he’s still at school?”
“Oh. Yeah, of course.” Yugyeom twiddles his thumbs and asks, “Have you seen Bambam?”
“Should I have?”
Yugyeom sends a thankful prayer up to the heavens. “If you see him, he’s talking crazy. Don’t listen to him.”
Jackson smacks his hands against his face. “Jaebum told me about what he tried to do with Youngjae.”
“Yes, that.”
Jackson lets out his high-pitched keening laugh, and Yugyeom rolls his eyes. “Bam,” Jackson says once he catches his breath, “is always up to something.”
“Well, this is just a heads up, because--”
“Oh, no, no, no, no!” Jackson cries with vehemence, his laughter dying instantly and his eyes welling back up with tears. Yugyeom clamps his mouth shut. “I’m not ready for another relationship right now; I couldn’t; I can’t. There’s-- it’s too early for another.” He wipes at his eyes. “I can hardly go out in public right now. I’m so--”
To ease Jackson’s distress, Yugyeom quickly says, “I’ll tell him; don’t worry about it.”
But that night is a different story.
“That’s not what he told me!” Bambam cries, wearing his apron for once in his life. He’s making those mini pizza bite things you stick in the oven, and he has the top of his hair tied up in a sprig of a ponytail. “Jackson said yes to a blind date.”
Yugyeom is lying on the couch, massaging his temples. “That’s funny because he told me he’s getting over a break up.”
“Oh, he is. I convinced him that this is the best way to fix a broken heart.”
“By setting him up on a ‘blind date’ with his best friend. You are truly astounding.”
Bambam just chortles as he peers in at his pizza bites.
“Anyway, how are you working that out?” Yugyeom sits up, the reality weighing in. “He won’t voluntarily go with Jaebum. And I don’t think Jaebum trusts you very much over the last time.”
Bambam laughs louder now, staring at Yugyeom with an oven mitt covering his mouth. “Jackson’s date isn’t with Jaebum; it’s with Mark.”
Yugyeom feels like Bambam ripped out the couch from underneath him. It feels like his butt has hit the cold floor. “Wha--? Bambam!”
“What?” He sounds so innocent that Yugyeom momentarily believes that he really doesn’t remember the Fallout of 2012. But then Bambam’s smile seems a little too knowing.
“You can’t have Jackson go on a date with Jaebum’s ex, are you that crazy?”
Bambam goes back to chortling.
“Oh my god. When Jackson finds out you set him up with Mark, you’re dead. You are dead. I’m not helping you with this; you’re on your own.”
Bambam waves his mitted hands at Yugyeom. “I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry about it.”
And Yugyeom tries to not worry about it. The problem is that Jaebum’s threat about Bambam making friends with a light pole shouldn’t be treated lightly, and he believes that threat extends to any emotional damage done towards Jackson, and Yugyeom values Bambam. His half of the rent is invaluable, and he supposes the companionship is also something to consider even if Yugyeom gets the short end of the stick most of the time.
Yugyeom growls and stuffs his face back into the couch, listening to Bambam burn the pizza rolls.
The day of the blind date is more calm then Yugyeom anticipated. For one, Bambam hasn’t mentioned it once since he brought it up first, a week ago, and has let Yugyeom do his homework in relative silence without Bambam interrupting and asking for opinions on who would look good with who and complaints of “I just want everyone to be happy,” in a needling voice. No, it’s been so quiet that Yugyeom has started to anticipate Bambam’s chaos.
“Hey, Yugyeom--”
“Yes!” Yugyeom shoots straight up, a paper full of notes attached to his cheek. There are ink stains on his hands, and he was just dozing, but at the sound of Bambam’s voice he’s ready to hear it. He’s ready to hear the oozing details of tonight. He’s ready to hear all about it and try to discern how pissed Jaebum’s going to be.
Bambam stands in Yugyeom’s doorway like he’s looking on a very sad scene. Yugyeom stress-cramming for his finals isn’t sad. (It’s pathetic.)
“I was just letting you know I was going to the restaurant to oversee the fruition of my plan, and that I’ll be back later. Kisses,” he adds as he spins away from the door, wiggling his fingers at Yugyeom over his shoulder. He’s dressed to go out. His black skin-tight pants and the light blue button up he bought himself as a Christmas present last year. His hair’s also spiked up on his head, and if Yugyeom’s right, Bambam was wearing eyeliner.
“Wait, wha- You’re leaving now?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Yugyeom falls out of his desk chair and crawls to his closet to find washed pants.
Fifty minutes later, Yugyeom’s glued to Bambam’s back as they shuffle into the restaurant. “I can’t believe you came in that.” Bambam frowns at Yugyeom’s ensemble, and the younger sighs.
“These are the only pants I had.”
“Your shirt, then?”
Yugyeom doesn’t see what’s the problem with his pants and shirt. It’s probably because it’s the same shirt Bambam’s wearing (“It looked really good on me, and I thought it might be the same for you; anyway, it’s yours,” is what he said at Christmas), but Yugyeom doesn’t know what Bambam’s problem could be with his pants.
Yugyeom whispers, “Hateful.”
Before Bambam can whip him a glare, the waiter comes. “Just two?” The boys follow the man back into the restaurant, and Bambam and Yugyeom keep their heads down, eyes averted.
“Do you see Jackson?”
Bambam looks around for a quick moment. “There!” The waiter however is leading them in the opposite direction, and Bambam taps on his shoulder. “Excuse me, could we sit at that table?”
The table in question hasn’t been cleaned yet, but it’s a booth with small wooden divider separating it from Jackson’s. Jackson and Mark shouldn’t see them, but Bambam and Yugyeom will be able to hear their conversation.
The waiter gives them a strange look but gives in when Bambam slips a crumpled up five dollar bill into his hand. “Bam, I’m not looking to eavesdrop,” Yugyeom hisses. He’s ignored.
Only when they’re seated does Bambam smile at him. The table is sticky and they have to keep their voices hushed lest Jackson hear them, and Yugyeom’s questioning why he said yes to this. He leans across the table and whisper-shouts at Bambam, “This isn’t what I signed up for!”
Bambam spreads his grin, and Yugyeom knows that, in a way, by putting on proper clothes and following Bambam out the apartment, he did.
He’s about to say something else about the situation when Mark makes his arrival.
“Jackson?”
“Oh my god.”
Bambam presses his ear agains the divider, and Yugyeom slumps down in his seat in embarrassment. They can hear Jackson stand up suddenly -- is that his knee slamming into the underside of the table? -- and Mark apologizing profusely.
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry. Wow, this is….”
And then a fountain of tears erupts. From Jackson, the two boys assume because then Mark asks, “Hey, are you okay?”
Mark and Jaebum may have broken up a little over two years ago, but Jackson has managed to retain a semi-decent friendship with him. It mainly consists of Mark visiting the gym just to say that he actually goes, and Jackson slipping workout regimens into his bag whenever Mark’s not looking, but even Yugyeom could tell that a date is a major rule break in the bro-code. What was Bambam thinking?
Bambam still has his ear pressed hard against the divider and seems to be evaluating the situation from a scientific standpoint. If Jaebum minus Mark equals X, what is the value of Mark plus Jackson? Or something.
Yugyeom was never good at math.
“He’s crying,” Yugyeom mouths to Bambam. His friend nods profusely, looking delighted.
“Hey, are you okay?” Mark asks. Yugyeom thought Mark had actually left by now. “What’s wrong?” It sounds like…he’s sitting down?
“N- Nothing,” Jackson hiccups. He says that but soon he’s sobbing about his ex, and Mark keeps wavering between concerned and uncomfortable. Yugyeom is completely past concerned and very deep -- fifty feet down -- in uncomfortable.
“He didn’t say why or- or anything!” Jackson is voice escalates in pitch the more he talks, and he sounds quite hysterical; Yugyeom feels like shit.
“Bambam, I hate you.”
“I didn’t know…you guys broke up.” Mark sounds hesitant, and there’s some rustling and silverware clanking together.
“Thanks,” Jackson says and subsequently sniffs, accepting whatever Mark’s handed him. “Yeah, it was, uh, only two weeks ago, but, uh, yeah.”
“It was that fencer guy, right?”
“Yeah.” Jackson’s voice wobbles. “Look, I didn’t know it was gonna be you; I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not your fault. I thought Bambam knew what he was doing, but….”
“I don’t think he meant to. I mean, he probably forgot about the whole thing with Jaebum. Probably. It was awhile ago.”
“Yeah.”
There’s a bit more silence, enough time to convince Yugyeom this is truly wrong, and before Yugyeom can force himself away from the situation, Jackson’s speaking again. “I just don’t get it. I put in so much effort for him, and now look at me.” More nose-blowing. “I- I- I feel like a wreck, and--”
Yugyeom can hear movement on the other side, and Mark’s voice is considerably closer, like he switched seats to sit on Jackson’s side. Yugyeom can imagine the comforting arm around Jackson’s shoulders.
“Oh, you’re not a wreck.”
“I feel like one. He was just everything to me, and now here I am….”
Yugyeom slides out of the booth, and Bambam turns questioning eyes to him. “What are you doing?” he whisper-demands.
“I’m not listening to this,” Yugyeom returns in the same whisper-not-whisper.
“You’re going to miss everything!”
Yugyeom walks away from the table as fast as he can. Jackson and Mark might see him -- in a way he hopes they will just so Bambam can attempt and fail to explain himself -- but he doesn’t hear anything behind him that indicates they have. Yugyeom shoves his hands in his pockets and blows out the doors of the restaurant.
This was a waste of time. Yugyeom’s not even sure why he’s entertaining Bambam with these notions, and it’s mainly a fault within himself that is the cause; he’s too persuadable. Now his night has been clouded by the sound of Jackson’s crying, and Yugyeom knows no song on his iPod will get that out of his head.
He gets back to the apartment and changes into gym clothes. That’s the only thing that will get his mind going up and away from the events of the restaurant. He texts Bambam to let him know where he is, ignoring the two that were sent to him, asking to bring home milk and granola bars.
His mood has been shot. He enters the gym’s double doors, and it must be apparent because Youngjae actually says something to him. “Rough day?”
Youngjae’s nice, a little awkward, so it speaks volumes that he was the one to initiate conversation with him. Yugyeom knows he can put aside his grumpiness for two seconds to entertain Youngjae.
Besides the quick greetings in the smoothie shop, together they’ve had a total of two full conversations before, mainly thanks to Bambam, and Yugyeom’s sorta surprised that Youngjae wants to talk to him without Bambam here. Well. Yugyeom has a feeling that more people would talk to him if Bambam wasn’t attached to his hip for ninety percent of the day. Yugyeom will have to look more into it.
“Yeah, it’s been…something.” Yugyeom wipes at his face.
“Where’s Bambam?”
Grumbling, Yugyeom says, “Being to nosey for his own good. It’s just me tonight.” Yugyeom barely finishes his sentence before a chirping voice filters through the air. Youngjae and Yugyeom turn their heads to see a young man clad in skin-tight workout pants and a loose hot-pink tank-top striding towards them.
“Jin- Jinyoung.” Youngjae mutters his name under his breath, and Yugyeom only picks up on it because of his extra keen hearing. He thinks he knows who Youngjae buys the second smoothie for.
Jinyoung is Bambam’s pilates friend (“We have matching mats,” Bambam recited eagerly just the other day). And, as Yugyeom zeroes in on Jinyoung’s mat rolled up under his arm, he can confirm that Bambam was telling the truth.
“Oh, hey.” Jinyoung now sees Yugyeom and, secondarily, Youngjae. “Where’s Bambam?”
Alone, Yugyeom is starting to realize this is the most popular question asked of him. “Doing things. Being a loser.”
Jinyoung pouts. “Aw, well, he missed a really good class tonight. He told me he’d be here.”
Yugyeom shrugs. “I think something came up. So, yeah, it’s just me here tonight.”
“I bet that’s a little lonely.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s always with you?”
Yugyeom colors dramatically -- he can feel it. “Well, sometimes a little separation’s good.”
Jinyoung registers the bitterness in Yugyeom’s words. He makes a face. “Ah, I’m gonna leave that one alone. Sounds like you two need some couple’s counseling.”
Before Yugyeom can express his outrage over the statement, Jinyoung moves past him to the counter, finally in front of Youngjae. “Hi.”
Yugyeom clamps his mouth shut at Jinyoung’s tone. He’s dense, but he can hear flirtation from miles away, and from the look on Youngjae’s face, it’s totally welcome.
“I’m gonna go ahead and pay this month’s bill.” Jinyoung digs around in the athletic jacket draped over his arm, and Youngjae’s face looks dumb-struck that Jinyoung’s even talking to him, even if he is the one at the desk supposed to be doing his job.
Jinyoung hands over his payment and when his and Youngjae’s fingers brush when exchanging it, Youngjae’s cheeks go scarlet. Yugyeom knows because he was watching for it. And so was Jinyoung it seems, because he starts to chuckle, and that only increases the redness of Youngjae’s face.
“Alright, boys,” Jinyoung announces when he collects himself. “See you not tomorrow but the next day,” he directs at Youngjae then looks at Yugyeom, “and see you some other time. Clear the air with your bff for me, okay? Okay.” He waves goodbye and disappears out the door, Youngjae watching the sway of his rear the whole time.
Yugyeom looks at Youngjae. “You’re not subtle.”
“I- what?” He starts to splutter. “What? No. You--”
Yugyeom raises an eyebrow. “You’ve got it bad, man. How long have you been….” He gestures at the door, to where Jinyoung just disappeared.
“Jinyoung? I like Jinyoung?” Youngjae tries to scoff, but Yugyeom keeps smiling at him in a knowing way, and his poor game of pretend is broken. “I- Well. A few weeks now? How long have you been watching me buy smoothies?”
Yugyeom moves to the counter and rests his elbows on it, leaning in close so they can discuss Youngjae’s love life without many over-hearing. Not that they would. The pop music in the gym is cranked up to a considerable level, but Yugyeom does it anyway.
Youngjae sighs. “Do you think Jinyoung…knows?”
“Oh, yeah. He knows.”
Youngjae looks very distraught behind the counter, spinning his chair in distress. “He’s been teasing me -- I think.” He bites his lip and continues. “For weeks now, about as long as I realized my- my feelings for him, he’s been doing that.”
“That?”
“Like…messing with me?”
Yugyeom thinks on the display he just saw. “Does he do it a lot?” Bambam hasn’t said one word about Jinyoung’s relationship status and hasn’t tried to hook him up yet. He wonders if Youngjae’s feelings are one-sided.
“He does it enough.” Youngjae looks very exhausted, mentally weary. He puts his head in his hands and speaks to the floor, “I’ve never…had a boyfriend.”
“It’s the same as having a girlfriend. For the most part.” Yugyeom shifts his weight from foot to foot.
“No, well, I’ve never had a girlfriend either? Or, girls are cute, but-- I just….”
And here lies the problem. Yugyeom watches Youngjae suffer a little more before supplying, “You’re not sure about it.”
Youngjae nods.
“And you’re afraid to….”
“To hurt his feelings. If it turns out that I’m not gay? Or maybe I am -- I don’t know.” He looks up at Yugyeom, finally realizing what sort of conversation they’re having in the middle of the gym, still very busy, and who he’s having it with. “Jeez, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all this on you.” He starts mumbling and blushing, and Yugyeom concludes that Youngjae is a mess.
“No, it’s okay,” he interjects before Youngjae can apologize any further. “This is nothing to what Bam dumps on me.”
Youngjae chews on his lower lip before saying, “I’m sure he has a lot to tell.”
“Yeah.” Yugyeom flashes back through various talks they’ve had, ranging from simple ones that Yugyeom can help with to ones that have driven Yugyeom from the room, clearly labeled “Too Much Information,” ones that have forced Yugyeom into telling Bambam that he needs to call Jinyoung if he needs an outlet. More gravely, Yugyeom says, “Yeah.”
Right then, Yugyeom’s pocket buzzes. Bambam’s whining about the lack of granola bars in the their cabinets, and Yugyeom stuffs his phone back in his pocket.
“I just don’t know what to tell him,” Youngjae whispers, still lost in his feelings. “Whenever he talks to me I just go blank.”
“That has a tendency to happen to people when they like someone.”
Youngjae’s eyes bear into Yugyeom’s. “Will Bambam…. Do you think he’ll help me?”
“I’m absolutely sure.”
“Because I need all the help that I can get with this.”
Yugyeom makes a promise then, one that he doesn’t realize makes him sound an awful lot like Bambam, setting up and advising in the ways of romance, and it’s only when Yugyeom leaves the gym that night, Bambam beckoning him home to eat with him, that he understands fully what this means.
He can say that he wants none of Bambam’s antics, but he can’t stop himself from participating.
“You’re absolutely sure?”
“Absolutely.” Yugyeom cradles his bowl of broth in his hands. Bambam is still wearing his getup from the restaurant, but he’s taken off his eyeliner, his bangs pulled up in a ponytail. He’s got his bowl of noodles while Yugyeom hoards the broth, both respectively preferring noodles over broth and broth rather than noodles.
Bambam looks perplexed. “Jinyoung would have told me, though, I’m sure of it.”
“So you think Jinyoung’s just messing around with Youngjae?”
“I- hmm….” Bambam stops himself and seems to really think about it. It’s a full two minutes before he answers, “I don’t think he would? Jinyoung is Jinyoung, but I don’t think he’d be mean like that. Because that’s mean.”
“Says the child that just tried to set up Jackson and Mark?”
“Okay that was a mistake. The rest of the dinner was just Jackson venting about his issues with his ex, and it was horrible. I need to go see a priest and schedule a confessional.”
Yugyeom doesn’t disagree.
“But,” Bambam resumes, when both are nearly done with their dinner, “I still can’t figure out why Jinyoung wouldn’t tell me; he always tells me.”
“Maybe, to him, it’s not important?”
“No, he tells me whether it’s important or not.”
Yugyeom and Bambam look at each other for a moment, silently communicating across the table. Yugyeom’s the one to voice it, however. “Maybe…it is important?”
“Oh my god.”
Two days later, Youngjae’s sitting in their apartment, looking very confused as Bambam circles his chair that’s been set int he middle of the room. It might be because Bambam is wearing the apron and has tinfoil in his hair to revive his faded color, or maybe because it’s Bambam and this whole situation is just slightly bizarre.
Yugyeom walks into this, his classes ending early, and it seems the two are in the middle of a very deep discussion. Bambam looks up at Yugyeom’s entrance and says to Youngjae, “This was good. We’ll talk later, okay?”
Youngjae nods and looks back at Yugyeom. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Yugyeom glances from Youngjae to Bambam, wondering what transpired while he wasn’t there.
Youngjae grabs his coat from the table, and Bambam shoos him out with a smile before he can get in anything to say to Yugyeom. The door clicks shut, and all that’s left is Bambam’s smile now turned on the taller boy. “Youngjae’s sexually confused.”
“Is that something to be smiling about?”
“I think he has a chance with Jinyoung.”
“You talked to him?”
“No, but I just know.” Bambam looks on the verge of cackling, and once again, Yugyeom feels like he’s gotten into something bigger than he can handle.
Yugyeom and Bambam have conspired, co-conspired, and enter the gym as a united front that Tuesday afternoon. Yugyeom dressed in gym shorts and an Adidas water-resistant shirt and Bambam dressed in bright blue, form-fitting jogging pants, a huge white t-shirt draped over his thin frame -- oh yes, they’re quite the pair.
The target is the front desk.
Youngjae sits there, not yet realized what’s coming toward him, and the two boys make large strides to him, purpose driving them. “Youngjae!” Bambam’s not very quiet call does grab his attention, and a frightened look passes over his face.
“Y- You guys.”
“Look,” Bambam says, folding his hands on the counter. He leans in close but doesn’t bother to hush his voice; secrets aren’t his forte. “We’ve made a plan for what you should do about Jinyoung.” Youngjae open his mouth to speak, but Bambam overrides him with a firm, “Don’t worry about it. We’ve figured it all out. What we need to know is--”
“Actually,” Youngjae interjects before Bambam gets too carried away. “He asked me out.”
Yugyeom is positive that Bambam might faint so he holds his hands out behind him just in case he sways that way. “He- he- he- he what?” Bambam sounds speechless, and Youngjae starts to flush red. As usual.
“He came over here, not half an hour ago, and…he…well….”
“Yes?” Bambam sounds ready to pass out from lack of oxygen flow to his brain.
“He asked me out.” Youngjae shrugs. “I didn’t know what to do; I flubbed. I think I said yes?”
“Oh my god.” It’s Yugyeom that says it. Bambam is too compromised mentally to even get another word out, still trying to comprehend the situation.
“He wasn’t going to tell me! Jinyoung, wasn’t even-- I’m now very upset!”
Yugyeom puts a hand on Bambam’s shoulder as a silent reminder that they’re in public. “Yes, I can see that. You need to rework our strategy.”
“Strategy?” Youngjae chirps.
Yugyeom pushes Bambam away from the counter, the poor kid scrolling through his and Jinyoung’s messages on his phone to find nothing of anything that would tell Bambam of his plans to woo the desk boy. “Not important. What is important, is how we go from here. So you’re sure of this date? You’re serious about it?”
Youngjae nods.
“Positive.”
He nods so hard that his head looks unhinged from his neck.
“At least he’s reliable,” Bambam mutters, very bitter, in an endless scroll.
“Where is this date?”
“The boardwalk?”
Bambam snaps his head around so fast that people within five feet hear his spine crack. “The boardwalk?”
“Yes?”
Bambam composes himself soon enough. He begins to complain of cramps in his side, taking Yugyeom by the arm and pulling him toward the exit. Yugyeom tosses a quick “see you later!” over his shoulder before cool air meets his exposed body parts, and Bambam is fuming in the parking lot.
“The boardwalk?”
“What about the boardwalk?” Yugyeom looks down where Bambam’s arm is still hooked through his.
Bambam sighs dramatically as if Yugyeom should know better. “Jinyoung wouldn’t waste his time to mess with Youngjae’s feelings by taking him to the boardwalk -- my god. That’s one of Jinyoung’s favorite date places. He isn’t kidding around.”
Yugyeom frowns, thinking hard. “I wonder if he knows Youngjae still has some reservations.”
“Jinyoung won’t care. He’s not the type to get hung up on that.”
“So…what do we do now?”
Yugyeom and Bambam stand in the gym’s parking lot, with their linked arms, very aware that they just left without asking for the time of the boardwalk rendezvous. They promptly turn and head back inside.
Friday is the day.
Bambam has had Youngjae cooped up in the apartment all day -- Yugyeom’s not sure for what, there’s only so many things you could possibly do to the poor guy -- but finally, at five-thirty in the afternoon, the two emerge. It rouses Yugyeom from his nap on the couch, his afternoon class cancelled.
“He’s ready,” Bambam announces.
Youngjae definitely does look ready. Bambam has seemed to give him the whole treatment, a little gel in the hair to give it some lift and style, and Bambam has graced the guy with a button up and must have told him to come in the nicest pair of jeans he owns. Seeing as Youngjae typically wears worn-out athletic clothes this is a huge step up.
The plan is to maneuver Youngjae to the date, and, in Yugyeom’s version, come back to pick him up around nine-thirty if Youngjae doesn’t specify otherwise. Bambam, however, campaigned to make an effort to follow the two around. His version was scrapped upon proposal.
Which Yugyeom and Bambam have no way to pick Youngjae up as they don’t drive, but they know someone who does.
“Thanks, Jaebum.”
The four are sitting in Jaebum’s car, amidst Friday evening traffic, and Jaebum looks across at Bambam. It seems they’ve worked things out. “Not a problem.” He looks in the backseat. “How are things with you, Hakyeon?”
There’s a long moment of silence before Yugyeom clears his throat. “This is Youngjae. Hakyeon leads the aerobics class.”
“Oh.” Jaebum takes a second look back. “Sorry about that--” The name must finally feel familiar to him, and he looks at Bambam sidelong with a frown. “Is this….”
“No,” Bambam says quickly. “Keep driving.”
A little further into the ride, Jaebum asks, “So. Youngjae. You like workin’ the front desk?”
Youngjae clears his throat. “Uh, it’s not that bad. It’ll get me through college right now.”
“Ah. Yeah. I’m a P.E. teacher at a middle school. It’s not that bad, but lemme tell you about when the kids are hyped up on sugar after lunch, and--”
“Jaebum, turn here.”
The car lurches to the right, and Youngjae almost ends up in Yugyeom’s lap. A great way to start the night. Jaebum haphazardly parks the car, and as soon as the car slows down, Yugyeom pushes Youngjae out, following right behind. “Thanks, Jaebum!” Bambam hops out as well.
The boardwalk is busy with night life. Lots of couples plague the scene, increasing the affection in the air by seventy-eight percent, and Yugyeom can almost feel the romantic notions. “Alright,” Yugyeom says, massaging Youngjae’s shoulders. The three are hovering by the popcorn stand -- this is where Youngjae and Jinyoung are to meet. “If we leave you here are you good?”
“No.” Youngjae’s knees are shaking, and he looks close to passing out.
Bambam smacks him on the shoulder. “You’ll do fine. Jinyoung’s great at chit-chat, so don’t worry too much. Just breathe and be yourself.”
Even that seems like asking for too much, according to the incredulous expression on Youngjae’s face.
“Alright,” Yugyeom announces. “Text us with what you want us to do.” He backpedals quickly, snatching up Bambam along the way, disgruntled whines emerging from the older, and he corrals Bambam away from the scene before he tries to do something drastic.
“Why can’t we just stay?”
“Do you hear yourself when you talk?”
Bambam’s about to retort, but they’ve come back into sight of Jaebum’s car. Jaebum is outside the car and appears to be wrestling the door handle. They can hear him cursing from even this distance.
“What’s wrong?” Yugyeom speed walks over, but he’s starting to get a bad idea of what’s happened.
“I locked my keys inside!” Jaebum has now resorted to pounding his fists on the top of his car in a slow, heavy manner. “They’re right there!” He jabs at the glass with his other hand. “Right there.”
“So, uh, who do we call for that?”
Jaebum groans. “I’ll call someone. I-- I’ll call.” Looking deeply troubled, Jaebum pulls out his cellphone. “I can’t believe this.”
Yugyeom’s not really sure what reason Jaebum would have had to get out of his car, anyway, but that thought is interrupted by Bambam. “Wonderful,” he says, sliding up next to Yugyeom’s elbow. “Let’s go have fun.”
Yugyeom knows this is a poorly veiled attempt to spy on Youngjae and Jinyoung, but he weighs his options. He can go with Bambam or he can stay here and -- he looks over to see Jaebum kicking the sidewalk furiously as whoever on the other end has him on hold -- deal with Jaebum.
Yugyeom feels Bambam pull him back onto the boardwalk.
They don’t have to go very far to see Youngjae and Jinyoung walking between different food stalls. “Look at him,” Bambam says. “Still hasn’t told me one thing about this with Youngjae; he is so fired.”
Yugyeom rolls his eyes. “Look, we’re not spying. We’re gonna….” He searches, almost desperately for something else to occupy them. “Win a goldfish. Bambam, we’re gonna win a goldfish.” He turns Bambam around in the complete opposite direction and guides him over.
The destined booth has a game setup that involves popping balloons with darts, and Yugyeom attempts to tug Bambam to it -- they could raise a goldfish, for sure -- but Bambam’s digging his heels into the ground, and they’re quite the sight. At least they didn’t wear matching outfits.
“I don’t want to play games, I just-- Jackson?”
Yugyeom looks up to see Jackson and Mark at a neighboring stand, snacking on tall cones of cotton candy, and it takes a moment before either sees the matchmaking pair. Mark notices first. “Hey!”
Bambam wriggles out of Yugyeom’s hold before the younger can stop him. Seeing as how Bambam is loose and getting away, Yugyeom has to follow behind -- he feels like a grumpy chaperone.
“What are you guys doing here?” It’s Jackson who asks, taking too large of a chunk of cotton candy and his mouth becomes a furry pink splotch.
Yugyeom admittedly plans on lying to them about what they’re here for, but Bambam spills it before he can stop him. “Youngjae’s on a date. With Jinyoung.”
“Jinyoung?” they chorus.
“Yeah. The jerk didn’t even tell me he was going on a date with Youngjae, so Yugyeom and I are here to assist.”
“No, we’re not. Well-- We are. But we’re not spying.”
Jackson looks at Yugyeom like he’s grown a third head. He seems to be a lot more put together than he was at the restaurant, and that’s good, but he’s got trouble in his eyes. “Spying -- why the hell not?”
Mark speaks up. “There’s no way the date’s legit. Jinyoung got pulled into a bad bet, or something. There’s no way. I’ve seen Youngjae’s rat, and Jinyoung doesn’t seem the type to like overgrown rodents.”
“His rat is pretty big,” Jackson comments.
“It is.”
Bambam cuts in, “Jinyoung just doesn’t do that. He goes on dates, but he’s never bet on them before. That’s not him. And, plus, his rat looks pretty normal-sized to me.”
Jackson scratches under his backwards snapback. “I dunno. He tried flirting with Jaebum that one time.” Mark’s head does a quick double-take. “When Jaebum didn’t realize he was even being flirted with, Jinyoung said he was put up to it. And Jaebum’s hot. Jaebum’s the hottest middle-school P.E teacher you could dig up.”
It’s obvious Yugyeom didn’t see how well Bambam cleaned up Youngjae tonight, but, once again, Bambam is firing away before he can, “Oh my god, that was a mistake. He got nervous and jacked the whole thing up; he wasn’t really put up to it. He just got embarrassed.”
Jackson shrugs, chewing on more cotton candy.
“He liked Jaebum?” Everyone looks at Mark, at his sudden outburts, and he colors slightly. “I mean, what?” Bambam opens his mouth, probably so say something intrusive, but Yugyeom claps a hand over it this time.
Jackson hasn’t noticed any of this, dropping out of the conversation once his side of the story became irrelevant, but is now waving his phone in one hand and the cotton candy in the other. He’s beaming ear to ear. “By the way, I got back together with him!”
The focus of the conversation shifts towards Jackson’s love-life.
“Oh…yeah?”
“Yeah!” Jackson pauses to text something. “Last night he came over and explained everything! I actually didn’t do anything? Like, in his eyes we weren’t even broken up; he thought we were still together.”
“So,” Yugyeom says slowly, “you got back together, or…?”
“Yeah.”
“Why did you even break up in the first place?”
Jackson laughs, “Well, that’s a funny story -- now it is, anyway -- but--”
“Hey, guys.” Jaebum appears at the edge of their mini-circle, still radiating frustration. “I’m waiting for a tow-truck.”
“What’s the problem?” Mark asks. He’s half-hiding behind his cone of half-eaten cotton candy, but his eyes are glued to Jaebum. Yugyeom and Bambam watch with utter interest. The two don’t really talk since the fateful events of two years previous, and this is rare footage.
“Locked…myself out.” Jaebum mutters the words, embarrassed, and it’s for good reason. Everyone tries to not snicker, and Jaebum just simmers. “But it’s okay. I’m getting a tow truck and I just have to wait between thirty to forty minutes. How’s the date going?”
“Well, I wouldn’t know,” Bambam says. “Yugyeom won’t let me check.”
Jaebum frowns. “You crazy kids have phones don’t you?”
Jackson waves his phone in Jaebum’s face, the single word alerting him. “I got back together with him!”
“You told me twice last night and again this morning.”
Mark starts laughing although it’s not very funny and makes everyone else uncomfortable. His laughter peters out. Soon a silence spreads over them, and Yugyeom and Bambam feel like third wheels as Mark and Jaebum keep staring the other down, Jackson blissfully unaware in his digital world.
“We’re gonna check on the two lovebirds.” Yugyeom marches off, knowing Bambam’s close behind, and they go in the direction that Jinyoung and Youngjae went. At a safe distance away, Yugyeom sighs, “That was close.”
“I thought you didn’t want to pry.”
“I don’t, but I had to get out of there before two people started making out.”
For once Bambam’s the skeptical one. “No, I don’t think they’d--”
“I don’t know. I was getting vibes.” They walk for awhile, but no one familiar comes into sight. Yugyeom stuffs his hands in his pockets. “So if Youngjae and Jinyoung are a success will you be happy?”
Bambam thinks long and hard. “Yes. Yes, I think so.”
“Good, because I don’t know how much more I can take of this.”
“What if all our friends got together? Like how I wanted. Mark and Jaebum could get back together, Jackson’s happy, and Jinyoung….”
“Yeah, Bambam it’s beautiful.” Yugyeom rubs his eyes. “But I’m tired.”
“You need me to bake you cookies.”
“I need the semester to end.” But after only a heartbeat’s pause: “Cookies wouldn’t hurt, though.” Even if they’re Bambam’s burned, crusty version -- he could go for those.
Bambam looks like he’s been electrocuted as his pocket vibrates. He claws at his pants to get it out, fumbling to check his notifications. “It’s just Jackson.” His expression falls a bit until he exclaims, “Jaebum and Mark are making out against Jaebum’s car -- oh my god.”
“I was right.”
“They’re gonna get back together,” Bambam squeals, and Yugyeom is happy. Bambam’s happiness is always so infectious to him, so it overrides the tiredness that he does feel. He smiles.
A second text beckons Bambam’s attention once again, and this time it’s Youngjae. “He doesn’t need a ride,” Bambam relays. “He and Jinyoung are having a great time, and, in his words, he owes us big.”
“Why, we didn’t even do anything. I mean, you spruced him up, but other than that….”
“Hey, we--” Yugyeom waits for Bambam to list their accomplishments, but Bambam deflates. All they managed to accomplish was mass confusion in their circle of friends, that luckily they (Bambam) have been forgiven for. “Okay, you got me.”
Yugyeom laughs. “Now we just need a ride. Let’s hit up Jackson -- find out how he got here. I get to go home and study for a final.” He holds out his arm, and Bambam interlocks his elbow with his.
As they search for Jackson, Bambam asks, “You think as payment Youngjae will surrender his smoothie reward cards? You know, so I can get free large next time?”
[readers, don't forget to leave a comment! anonymous is on if you're shy.]