Another World [for xfragments]
For: xfragments
Title: Another World
Pairing(s)/focus: JB/Jr
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 9,757 words
Warnings: Brief suicidal thoughts
Summary: Jinyoung finds himself overwhelmed by the academic pressures of his prestigious school and almost goes under until he’s saved in more ways than one by a strange boy named Jaebum.
Jinyoung finds it a bit funny how he eats, sleeps, and breathes music now when it wasn’t even a blip on his radar when he was younger; he’d actually wanted to become a lawyer of all things when he was little. That certainly delighted his father, but whenever he would watch crime dramas and mimic the lawyers on TV, his mother’s lips would press together until they turned white. To this day, Jinyoung still doesn’t know why she disliked the idea so much. Still, although she didn’t encourage him the way his father used to did-calling him ‘Counsel’ whenever he raised his hand to attract attention-she never discouraged it either. To her delight and his father’s disappointment, his dreams changed the day they took him to a classical music concert at the Seoul Arts Centre - the day Jinyoung fell in love with the violin. He enjoyed the entire concert, but whenever the headlined soloist took the stage he would sit right up in his seat, staring unblinking at the woman at the centre, mesmerised by how the graceful movements of her arms and fingers would produce such beautiful sounds.
“I want to do what she did,” Jinyoung declared to himself when her final piece was over, clapping his hands and standing as tall as he could with the rest of the audience.
His mother turned her head towards him and bent down to be closer to his level. “If you want to be that good, you’re going to have to work really hard. Can you do that?” she asked with a gleam in her eyes.
“Yes, definitely,” Jinyoung nodded, filled with the boundless confidence that oozes out of the very young.
That was over twelve years ago. Nowadays, Jinyoung still loves music, still wishes to be as skilled a violin player as the woman at the concert hall, but he finds his enthusiasm for it waning as he struggles to keep his grades up. Despite all the all-nighters he had to pull in middle school to get in practise with the violin and to study Maths, English, and Music History, Jinyoung knew that simply getting into the prestigious music school that he now attends was only the start of his work. He knew that the competition would simply get fiercer from this point, but he honestly thought he could manage it. He was wrong. The worst part is how no-one seems to realise just how overwhelmed he is-or if they do they don’t care. Jinyoung has never felt so miserable in his entire life; it’s like he’s had his limbs bound and been thrown into a pool of acid that is slowly melting his entire body as he sinks into it.
“Hey, Jinyoungie, how goes the studying?” His eldest sister, Hwayoung, calls out as she peers into his room.
At the sound of her voice Jinyoung lifts his head, blinking her back into focus when his head starts to spin and his vision blurs. “I poured an entire bottle of an energy drink into my coffee and then I drank the whole thing. I’m going to die,” Jinyoung croaks, his mouth devoid of moisture. He’s not trying to be funny but she chuckles anyway.
“Ah, I know that feeling very well. It seems like the end now, but you just keep pushing on because there’s a payoff to all that hard work,” she nods sagely. “Just look at me, I endured seven years of hellish studying in high school and university, and now I’ve got a great job in a top company that pays well. I can pretty much do whatever I want,” she giggle as she shakes her head, flashing her long, wavy hair.
“I’ve been pushing on for almost three two years, but I don’t know how much longer I can last,” Jinyoung says seriously. His blinking rate increases and he feels mucous gradually starting to creep down in his nose.
She steps inside his room, pulling Jinyoung’s head to rest on her stomach as she rubs his head. “I know, I know, I was there myself. I know exactly how it feels. Sooyoung is off at the library now, probably buried under books, same as you. You’re not alone,” she says sympathetically. Jinyoung clenches his eyes shut as he buries his face in her shirt, his hands closed into fists so that he doesn’t abandon all his dignity by clinging to her the way used to when he was a child.
“It’s alright, this will soon pass. You just have to endure for a little bit more and then you’ll have an amazing life whether you want to compose music, produce it, arrange it; whatever.” Jinyoung wants to ask if he can’t have an amazing life without going through this hell, but it sounds petulant even to his own ears, so he bites it back and soaks up the affection being bestowed unto him.
“I’m heading off now, but you keep at it, okay?” She cups his cheeks and wiggles his head. Jinyoung nods obediently. “Good, I’m proud of you, baby brother,” she beams before dropping a kiss on each of his cheeks. Jinyoung can’t help but smile a bit; he’s no longer a toddler, but Hwayoung’s kisses still have their magic effect. He just wishes he had a pocket version of her that he could carry around with him to cheer him up because the magic wears off by the next day.
“Jinyoung, are you up? If you don’t hurry, you’ll miss your train and be late for school,” his mother’s voice seeps into his room through the crack in the door. He’s not asleep; he hasn’t slept in two days. Most people fall might asleep when they mentally check out of studying during an all-nighter, but Jinyoung just freezes like he’s been turned into a statue. Lifting a shaking hand to bring his watch in view, he sees that it’s been about two hours since he last read a single line of his notes. His eyes ache so much that it hurts to blink, there’s no way he could close them long enough to sleep.
“Jinyoung?” His mother’s voice is much closer than it was before. She’s probably right outside his door.
“’m up!” Jinyoung grunts, his voice sounding like it rolled off the back of a speeding truck and got dragged for a hundred feet.
“Are you coming down with flu?” Jinyoung can practically hear her frown.
“No, I’m fine,” he stumbles out of his desk chair, swaying on his feet. He then starts stripping out of his nightclothes and into his uniform, his body on full autopilot. When Jinyoung is next aware of his surroundings, he’s sitting at the table with breakfast laid out in front of him.
“Are you sure you aren’t coming down with something? Your skin looks a bit pale... At any rate, you should hurry up and eat or you’ll be late,” his mother fusses. Jinyoung nods, quickly choking down his food and tasting none of it.
When he’s finished, he gets to his feet and stumbles out the door, his feet trudging along of their own accord. As he occasionally trips over air, Jinyoung simultaneously feels like his body is made of lead and made of vapour. Whatever he is, he’s suddenly stumbling into a side alley.
“Hey, I recognise that uniform. You go to that fancy music school don’t you?” Jinyoung blinks hard as three unfamiliar faces swim in his vision.
“You need to be pretty loaded to afford the tuition there, and those shoes of yours definitely don’t look cheap,” a second voice speaks up. Jinyoung isn’t sure if he’s meant to answer, but even if he wanted to his voice has died in his throat.
“We’re a bit strapped for cash right now. Would you be a sport and lend us some money?” A hand lands on Jinyoung’s shoulder and clamps down until Jinyoung is actually able to feel pain through the haze he’s trapped in. Still unable to talk, Jinyoung moans and shakes his head. He has enough functioning nerve cells to know that they want something from him, but he can’t figure what he needs to do to satisfy them.
“Oh, are you looking down on us? Are we beneath you?” says yet another voice. The speaker’s face comes into focus just long enough for Jinyoung to see his lips are pulled back over his teeth.
“I know I said it like a question, but I wasn’t really asking you. But why don’t you take a moment to think about it?” Before Jinyoung can gather up enough wits to wonder what the first voice is talking about he’s rushing forward, his fall broken by a knee.
“Fuck what Teacher Jung says, that’s how I make a ‘persuasive argument’!” Jinyoung coughs, struggling to breathe, feeling pain ripple through his gut with every breath. The hands that were supporting him let go, gravity doing the rest of the work in bringing Jinyoung to his hands and knees, his head hanging down as he tries to catch his breath.
“Looks like he’s got the message; find his wallet.” Strange hands are then grabbing at his waist before they start sliding down his thigh with just a thin barrier of cloth separating then from his skin. Jinyoung instinctively kicks out at the intrusion.
“It’s not in his pock-Hey! He kicked me! You have got some nerve you little shit!” That’s the last thing Jinyoung hears before his face is slamming into the ground and his vision blinkers into darkness.
Jinyoung has been hovering on the border of sleeping and waking for a little while, but he keeps his eyes close, enjoying the rest that he has denied himself for so long. Even if he wanted to get, he’s not sure he could make his limbs move the right way.
Bzzzt! Hiss!
The sudden noises tip his brain over into wakefulness, and he gradually remembers that he already got up to go to school this morning, but he doesn’t recall getting there. He slowly opens his eyes, expecting sunlight to blind him, but instead sees that the sky is a dark orange colour. Blinking some more, Jinyoung eases himself into a sitting position and looks around the room that he’s currently in.
Jinyoung would never describe himself as a materialistic person, but aside from his books and music paraphernalia his room is dotted with personal belongings. In contrast, the room he’s in right now is so Spartan that he can’t believe someone actually lives in it. The only things in the room are a desk with a chair, a wardrobe, and the mattress he’s currently lying on.
“Where am I?” The faint vibration in his throat as his mouth moves is the only thing that makes him recognise the sound as his own voice. Jinyoung jumps as the door to the room swings open.
“Oh, you’re awake. About fucking time too,” grumbles a tall guy with a cut above his eye who looks to be about Jinyoung’s age. His hair is the colour of the sky that Jinyoung usually stares at on the bus home, both his ears are adorned with bits of metal, and he’s got piercing brown eyes that demand to be looked at and warn against contact at the same time. A slight movement in Jinyoung’s peripheral vision has him shifting his gaze down to see the other boy fiddling with what looks like a first aid kit.
“Looks like the swelling in your face has gone down.” Jinyoung blinks. He opens his mouth to speak, but his stomach beats him to the punch; Jinyoung cringes. “Yeah, you must be famished. You haven’t eaten all day. Well come on, you’ve already made a nuisance of yourself to me, you may as well have something to eat before you go,” the other boy gestures with his head and walks out the door. Jinyoung clambers to his feet and follows after him.
The room he was sleeping in is right off the living room, which is almost as sparse as the bedroom. In the middle of it lies a low table spread with two bowls of rice and two bowls of what looks like kimchi jigae. The other boy takes a seat at the end closer to a small television, turning it on and flipping through channels, and so Jinyoung goes to sit at the other end. Although he was invited to stay, Jinyoung feels awkward about eating before his host, so he sits with his hands clenched in his lap as waits for the other boy to pick a channel.
“You can start eating, you know. You must be really hungry; you’re almost diving into the food,” the other boy says airily, his eyes still on the television.
Jinyoung sits up from where he was doubled over, cheeks heating up again. He clears his throat before he says thanks for the food and digs in. Objectively, it’s not the tastiest meal he’s ever eaten, but he’s so hungry right now that he’d happily gobble down anything that’s hot and edible. The other boy might not be a top chef, but he’s certainly no fool in the kitchen. Jinyoung gets halfway through his bowl of rice before he realises what’s odd about this picture.
“Where’s your mother? Does she work?” Jinyoung asks. The other boy stiffens, momentarily pausing his eating, his face ashen. Jinyoung mentally kicks himself for bringing up what’s clearly a sensitive subject. “I’m sorry, I- ”
“Forget it.”
“Right…Well, it’s only about ten minutes past four, shouldn’t you be in school now?” Jinyoung says with a glance at his watch and the uniform jacket hung up at the entryway. When the other boy cocks an eyebrow at him, Jinyoung winces. He was only trying to salvage the atmosphere; he didn’t mean to sound like he was giving the guy a lecture.
“Funnily enough, I actually planned on going in today, if only to eat lunch, but then some idiot went and got himself mugged so I had to save him, injuring myself in the process. Then, after dragging his unconscious body back to my house, I was stuck looking after his dead ass the whole day without my free lunch,” the other boy says dryly.
Jinyoung swallows his mouthful of rice hard, feeling his face get warm. “Thank you, by the way; for rescuing me and for sharing your food with me.”
“Whatever,” the other boy says dismissively.
“Um, if you don’t mind, could you tell me your name? Mine is Park Jinyoung, by the way,” Jinyoung ventures.
“I didn’t ask.”
“Right...” Jinyoung sighs under his breath, his shoulders slumping; it looks like he simply put his foot too far down his throat. He continues to eat his rice and stew, trying to think of something he could say to make up for his blunder when it’s time for him to leave. He’s so deep in thought that he almost misses it. “Sorry, what was that?” He looks up.
“Jaebum. My name’s Im Jaebum,” the other boy-Jaebum-says softly.
“Hello, Jaebum,” Jinyoung smiles, the tension draining out of his body. He decides not to push his luck and remains quiet for the rest of the meal, the sound of the television and their chopsticks clinking against their bowls the only sounds in the room.
“Thanks for the food,” Jinyoung groans pleasantly as he sits back, resting on his hands. As soon as he finishes eating, Jaebum collects their bowls and carries them to the kitchen. “Do you need help washing them?”
“I’m fine.”
“I feel bad making you do all the work when you’ve been so kind and hospitable to me. Let me help, please,” Jinyoung pleads as he gets to his feet and heads to the kitchen.
“Alright, fine, you wash the bowls and I’ll put away the leftovers and wipe down the table,” Jaebum sighs. Jinyoung stops in front of the sink and rolls his sleeves up before he starts washing up the bowls.
“Which school do you go to, by the way?” Jinyoung can’t help but ask.
“I don’t.”
“Oh, but, I thought you said you missed class today.”
“I did, but that’s not exactly unusual for me.” Jinyoung frowns. He wants to ask why the other boy skips school so much, but he doesn’t want to aggravate him again, so he bites his tongue. “I can hear you thinking over there,” Jaebum drawls. Jinyoung looks back over his shoulder. “You want to know why I don’t go to school but you’re too scared to ask.”
“I’m not scared to ask, I’m just being careful,” Jinyoung frowns.
“Go on then, ask me,” Jaebum says with a smirk.
“Why do you skip school so much?”
“Because it’s useless to me,” Jaebum says with a shrug.
“Useless?”
“B-boying is the only thing I care about, and school can’t help me with that. I know how to read and write and spell and shit, anything more is…superfluous,” Jaebum snorts with an eye roll.
“You know you don’t really talk like someone who thinks school is useless,” Jinyoung says pointedly.
“You don’t know jack shit about me,” Jaebum shrugs.
“Right, well, I’ve finished washing up,” Jinyoung says as he rinses his hands. He supposes he should leave, but his after school tutoring doesn’t start for three more hours and he can’t go home and get questions asked about why he’s not in school.
“Do you not have anywhere to be now?” Jaebum asks as he washes out the cloth he used to wipe the table.
“No, not really,” Jinyoung says awkwardly, worried that he’s overstaying his welcome.
“Well, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. I’m leaving soon,” Jaebum says as he washes his hands.
“Where are you going?”
Jaebum gives him a look before he answers. “To meet my friends. We need to rehearse our routines before the upcoming tournament.”
“Tournament? Routines? Like, for b-boying?” Jinyoung asks with furrowed brows.
“Yup,” Jaebum nods, drying his hands. “Your bag’s in the room,” Jaebum gestures with his head. Jinyoung goes back inside and retrieves his bag from beside the bed. When he comes out, Jaebum is by the entryway, slipping on his shoes. As Jinyoung approaches, Jaebum points out his own pair of shoes and his school jacket.
“Um, where are you going to practise?” Jinyoung asks Jaebum, eyes on his shoes as he slips them on.
“Why do you ask?”
“Maybe, if it’s not a problem with you and it’s not too far, I thought maybe I could…watch you?”
“Don’t you have some studying to be doing?” Jaebum cocks an eyebrow as he throws a significant glance at the school insignia woven into Jinyoung’s breast pocket.
“If I study any more, then I’ll throw myself off into the Han River,” Jinyoung laughs without humour.
Jaebum frowns deeply. “That’s not something you should joke about,” he says, his voice and his eyes both dark and cold.
“Who says I’m joking?” Jinyoung’s never been hysterical before, but he would say the unbidden lightness he feels in his head might be it. Jaebum opens his mouth, as if to say something, but it snaps shut a moment later and he walks off, frowning and shaking his head. Jinyoung stays stuck to his spot, leaning forward on the balls of his feet as he watches Jaebum’s back, but he doesn’t move until Jaebum speaks again.
“Just don’t get in the way,” he calls over his shoulder. Jinyoung huffs out a breath, feeling something in his chest unclench, before he readjusts his bag on his shoulder and jogs after the other boy, his steps lighter than they’ve been for a long time. Later he’ll have to go home and deal with the consequences of missing school, but for now he’ll enjoy his visit to Jaebum’s world.
On the way to wherever it is that they’re going, Jinyoung stays a half-step behind Jaebum, not quite walking beside him but not trailing behind him either. Glancing to his left, Jinyoung sees the trail of white leading from Jaebum’s ear and down to his pocket. Jaebum’s lips are moving slightly with nothing but a whisper of sound drifting out of them as he nods his head nod slightly and taps his index finger against the strap of his bag. What sort of music would a b-boy like to listen to? Jinyoung hardly knows anything about b-boying other than the fact that it’s a form of street dancing, in which case Jaebum would probably be listening to something upbeat and high energy with a lot of bass. Glancing at the mobile phone peaking out of Jaebum’s pocket, Jinyoung’s fingers itch as he tries to imagine what the other boy’s song list might look like.
“Is there a problem?” Jaebum turns to look at Jinyoung above four minutes into the bus ride.
“Uh, no,” Jinyoung sits up from where he was bent over, trying to glance inside Jaebum’s pocket. Jaebum raises an eyebrow, “I was just curious about your music,” Jinyoung says with a vague hand wave.
“Is that it?” Jaebum mutters with an eye roll. Before Jinyoung can pout, Jaebum pops one of the buds out of his ear, wipes it on his pants, and offers it to Jinyoung. Right as he’s replacing the bud in his own ear, Jaebum pulls his phone out of his pocket and changes the song.
Jinyoung blinks as the sounds of smooth, sultry R&B fills his left ear. “Is this- You listen to D’Angelo of all people?” Jinyoung turns to Jaebum in surprise, looking at him as though he’s ripped of his face to reveal a different person beneath it.
“You know who D’Angelo is?” Jaebum asks, sounding surprised himself.
“Classical music might be my speciality, but I’m open to anything that appeals to me,” Jinyoung shrugs as his body slightly sways in his seat.
“Huh, well I guess we both learned a lesson about making assumptions,” Jaebum says casually as he fiddles with his phone.
“I guess so,” Jinyoung says, feeling a little abashed. “Wait, hang on, what was that?” Jinyoung leans into Jaebum’s personal space as something on Jaebum’s screen caught his eye.
“What was what?” Jaebum blinks.
“You listen to Beyoncé?” Jinyoung chuckles, feeling the skin at the corner of his eyes fold up into crinkles.
“Everyone listens to Beyoncé,” Jaebum insists with pink cheeks.
“True, true,” Jinyoung nods before he takes the phone from Jaebum and changes the song. It’s hard for him to pick one song of hers as his personal favourite, but ‘Drunk In Love’ is the one he likes to play the most recently.
“Do you even know what you’re singing?” Jaebum laughs as he shakes his head at Jinyoung enthusiastically mouthing along to the hook.
“More than you think,” Jinyoung mutters to himself.
When Jinyoung thinks of street dancing, images of young men in baggy clothes doing wild moves in abandoned warehouses and outside of train stations comes to mind, so he’s pretty surprised when he and Jaebum end up standing outside of a dance studio.
“This is where you practise?” Jinyoung blinks as they pass several closed doors, heading to the last one.
“Yeah, my friend, Bambam’s, parents own it. His mother teaches jazzercise or something. She lets us use the last room when it’s free,” Jaebum says as he opens the door and steps inside.
“Jaebum-hyung!” A baby-faced boy with the front of his hair dyed pink runs up to Jaebum. “Who’s your friend?” he asks with a glance at Jinyoung.
“This is Jinyoung, he’s going to be our spectator today. Think of him as the audience and judges that we’ll have to wow in two weeks.”
“He’s all of the judges and the entire audience all at once?” The younger boy looks sceptical. Jaebum pulls him into a headlock, grumbling at him not to be a smart ass.
“Jaebum-hyung, stop, you can’t kill Bambam! If nothing else, we couldn’t replace him in time,” a new voice comes from behind. Jinyoung turns around to see a boy taller than him who looks older than Jinyoung but sounds younger than him. “Oh, hello. Are you a friend of Jaebum-hyung’s? He never brings friends here,” the boy tilts his head.
“Jinyoung, this is Yugyeom. Yugyeom, this is Jinyoung,” Jaebum says as he releases Bambam. “Where’s Jackson by the way?”
“He’s not coming today,” Bambam says as he rubs his neck. “He ate a bunch of spicy food to impress this girl at school so-”
“Spare me the details,” Jaebum holds up a hand. “Well, we won’t be able to get too much practise our group routine, but we can still do our individual ones and you two can do your duo. We really shouldn’t be missing any practises just two weeks before a competition, someone please remind me to wring his neck the next time I see him,” Jaebum sighs in frustration as he strips off his jacket. “Alright, let’s get started.”
Jaebum has been pretty restrained in the time Jinyoung has been around him, but he simply comes alive when he’s dancing, even just the warm up routine leaves his skin glowing with satisfaction and there’s a smile on his face that he can’t cover up or erase. Yugyeom and Bambam are also really good, and they throw just as much passion into their movements, but Jinyoung finds his eyes shifting to focus on Jaebum. It’s like he’s six years old and sitting in the concert hall again as he watches Jaebum spin his entire body while doing a handstand. Jinyoung jumps up and claps furiously the second the music stops.
“That was amazing,” he breathes, his eyes fixed on Jaebum. Jaebum grins before he presses his lips together and forces his face to a neutral expression.
“Feel free to be a bit more economical with your praise or else these two might get even cockier than they already are,” Jaebum says ruefully as Bambam and Yugyeom hi-five each other and cheer. “I guess it’s a good thing Jackson isn’t here today or he’d become insufferable.”
“I mean it, you guys were great,” Jinyoung says with his eyes on Jaebum.
“Thanks,” Jaebum mumbles, turns away to dig a water bottle out of his bag and downing half of its contents in one go. “Yugyeom and Bambam, get your music,” Jaebum says before he takes a seat beside Jinyoung.
Jinyoung stares at the other boy as he feels the heat from his body radiating outwards and warming up his skin. “What did Jackson’s part in your pair routine involve anyway?” Jaebum turns to him with a raised eyebrow. “I’m just curious,” Jinyoung shrugs innocently. Jaebum narrows his eyes a bit before he gives a rough demonstration as Bambam and Yugyeom do a partial run through of their routine before they’re ready to do it for real.
“We’re ready now,” Yugyeom claps. Jaebum retakes a seat beside Jinyoung, who is busy playing back the movements through in his mind. Even so, he manages to give Yugyeom and Bambam at least half his attention. They work even better as a team than they do individually and they also seem to smile brighter and have more fun as a pair.
“Not bad you two, but try to remember that you’re giving a performance; try not to be so self-indulgent,” Jaebum says critically. “Well let’s just keep running through what we can today,” Jaebum says as he gets up and prepares to take the ‘stage’ again. He raises his eyebrows as Jinyoung gets up and follows him.
“Jinyoung-hyung, I thought you were the audience and/or judges,” Yugyeom says with a confused frown on his face.
“Just put on Jackson and Jaebum’s music,” Jinyoung says with a smile.
“Alright,” he mutters, still sounding confused.
“Let’s do it,” Jinyoung winks at Jaebum.
Jaebum’s eyebrows are furrowed when he first starts to move, clearly doubting Jinyoung’s ability to pull this off, but they rise as he throws himself into the routine and Jinyoung manages to keep up with him for the most part. They’re probably nowhere as smooth or synchronised as he and Jackson, but they’re definitely doing well all things considered. With some more practise, they might actually be worth watching. Bambam and Yugyeom certainly seem to be enjoying the show if their jumping around is anything to go by.
“You didn’t tell us Jinyoung-hyung could dance, Jaebum-hyung,” Bambam grins.
“He didn’t tell me either,” Jaebum pants, slightly out of breath.
“We all have our secrets,” Jinyoung pants, almost entirely out of breath. Still, he grins up at Jaebum from where he’s bent over, sweat beading on his forehead.
“I guess so,” Jaebum shakes his head with a half smile.
It wasn’t the brightest idea for Jinyoung to get up and throw himself into performing such an energetic dance routine without warming up first, but even with the stitch in his side and the slight cramping in his legs, he can’t truly regret it. He spends the rest of the time sitting on the sidelines, watching the others and putting his judging hat on to point our possible areas of improvement. He’s a student of a different arts discipline entirely, but it seems he’s not too far off since Jaebum nods solemnly as he listens to his comments. Right as the three of them are warming down, a short woman with her hair up in a bun appears by the door, calling out to Bambam in a strange language.
“My mother says our time is up for today. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jaebum-hyung and it was nice meeting you, Jinyoung-hyung. Come on, Yugyeom, let’s go get something to eat.”
“Bye Jaebum-hyung, Jinyoung-hyung,” Yugyeom waves before he’s skipping out with Bambam.
As Jaebum retrieves his jacket, Jinyoung checks the time, blinking in surprise at how quickly two hours went by.
“Which way is your hagwon?” Jaebum asks as they step outside.
“Why do you ask?” Jinyoung blinks.
“You seemed to have recovered from your earlier episode, but since you’ve got me acting the Good Samaritan, I figure I might as well see you off as my final good deed for the day,” Jaebum shrugs. “So, where are we going?” he looks at Jinyoung expectantly. Jinyoung nods before he pulls up the GPS app on his phone, hiding a small smile behind it. Jaebum doesn’t say anything during their trip to the train station, but he doesn’t bury himself inside his music either. Jaebum finally clears his throat when the two of them are zipping along at 60mph and Jinyoung turns to him expectantly.
“You know, I must admit that you really surprised me back there. Jackson’s spot could be in real trouble if you seriously decide to try for it,” Jaebum says lowly while rubbing his mouth. Despite his efforts at concealment, Jinyoung can just about see the smile that’s brightening the other boy’s face and he grins.
“Don’t think you’ve got me figured out, Im Jaebum. You don’t know jack shit about me,” Jinyoung companionably bumps their shoulders to lessen the bite of his words.
“Ha ha, alright, fair enough,” Jaebum snorts, giving Jinyoung’s shoulder a playful shove. “Well, if music is giving you hell, at least you might have dancing to fall back on.”
“Right,” Jinyoung sighs, his shoulders drooping a bit.
“Is it that bad?” Jaebum asks with furrowed eyebrows. Jinyoung figured that the weight feels digging into his shoulders and pressing him into his seat is purely a figment of his own mind, but Jaebum is looking at him like he can actually see it.
“I just feel so burnt out now. I think I’d be fine if I had a time machine and could just escape and take a break for a while before coming back to finish the year, but clearly that’s not an option,” Jinyoung sighs.
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Jinyoung sighs. “I definitely still want to have a career in music-I love music-but I can’t carry on like this.” Jinyoung runs his hands through his hair, tugging it until he’s dangerously close to ripping a handful of his own hair out.
“Hey,” Jaebum chides, prying Jinyoung’s hands out of his hair. Jinyoung blinks, surprised at the way his lips heart speeds up at the sensation of Jaebum holding his hands, especially for such a brief and perfunctory action. “Look, I can’t tell you how to live your life, but I will say this: do what you can. School is important to you, that much is plain to see. I can’t relate; I never really cared for it even when I-Well, anyway, my point is that you should ease up a bit so that you don’t end up sending yourself to an early grave. Alright?” Jinyoung opens his eyes-not sure when he closed them-at the comfortable weight of Jaebum’s hands on his shoulders.
“I’ve been conditioned to push myself as hard as I can with music ever since I started playing the violin when I was six. I really don’t think I can do that,” Jinyoung says softly, his voice barely more than a whisper.
“I’m not saying you stop going to hagwons and get eight hours of sleep every night, I am Korean you know,” Jaebum snorts. “What I am saying is that you do just enough to make sure that you can at least function properly instead of pushing yourself until you end up that half-dead mess I had to carry to my house. Make sure you get at least four hours sleep every night no matter what and don’t skip meals,” Jaebum says firmly, giving Jinyoung’s shoulders a squeeze. To Jinyoung’s surprise, that seems to decrease the press of the invisible weight on his back. “This is our stop, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s this one,” Jinyoung eases himself out of his seat, heading to the exit. The hagwon is about five minutes from the train station, so it’s not long until they arrive at their destination.
“Where were you today, Jinyoung? Are you turning into a delinquent?” A boy in his class sneers as he passes them on the stairs, his eyes flitting between Jinyoung and Jaebum.
“I was sick for most of the day. My friend was just making sure I got here safely,” Jinyoung says with a bland smile.
“Alrighty then,” he says with one more glance between them before he heads inside the classroom. Jinyoung expects Jaebum to leave now that they’ve arrived but he surprises Jinyoung by telling him to take out his phone.
“Let’s exchange numbers so that you can contact me if things are getting too much for you again and I can check on you. Don’t hesitate to call me, I’ve got lots of free time, remember?” Jaebum winks and turns to leave.
“Would you mind seeing me home too? You know, just to make sure I’m alright,” Jinyoung blurts out.
“You finish at ten, right?” Jinyoung nods. “Alright, I’ll see you then,” Jaebum waves with a smirk. Jinyoung smiles and waves back before he turns and heads inside the classroom with lighter steps.
Old habits die hard of course, but with Jaebum’s regular prodding, Jinyoung slowly starts to take better care of himself. The real test comes one night at two in the morning when Jinyoung is hunched over a half-finished English assignment for his hagwon, his eyes dropping as his vision starts to blur. He glances at the time on his phone, Jaebum’s voice in one ear telling him to pull the plug and go to sleep, his sister’s voice in his other ear telling him he can finish it and still get some sleep. He bites his lip, rationalising that it shouldn’t take too much longer to finish it when Jaebum’s voice shoots back that if it won’t that that much time then he can finish it during lunch. Jinyoung slams his laptop closed and throws himself into bed, willing himself to fall asleep before he regains the strength to get up and go back to his desk.
“It was a bit weird, hearing your voice, but also reassuring. Does this mean your advice is working or have I actually gotten worse since I’m now hearing voices?” Jinyoung chuckles as they’re walking together back to Jinyoung’s home a week later.
“Your eyes look a lot brighter and you don’t look quite so burdened anymore, so I’d say it’s doing its job,” Jaebum says pensively.
“Did you recommend I try it because it worked for you?” Jinyoung asks, staring at Jaebum’s face very intently. It’s the closest Jinyoung has come to asking about Jaebum’s personal life ever since they first met. Jinyoung doesn’t really expect him to answer, but Jaebum is full of surprises.
“It worked for me until it didn’t, but my circumstances were different,” Jaebum smiles wanly.
“Does it have something to do with your mother?” Jinyoung all but whispers.
“It does,” Jaebum says plainly.
Jinyoung nods, sensing the other boy’s discomfort. “How did your competition go by the way? I’m sorry I couldn’t come that day,” Jinyoung says apologetically.
Jaebum shakes his head. “Don’t even worry about it. We were really off our game that day, I was embarrassed enough already without you seeing us like that,” he scoffs lightly. “Anyway, Bambam and Yugyeom keep asking about you and that’s made Jackson curious to meet you as well,” Jaebum rolls his eyes.
“Is that such a bad thing? Are you ashamed of me, Im Jaebum?” Jinyoung pouts slightly and flutters his eyelashes.
Jaebum jumps a bit, his eyes widening as he fumbles for words. “You’re one to talk! You’ve met most of my friends, but I haven’t even been introduced to a single one of yours,” Jaebum says incredulously.
“That’s only because I don’t really have friends,” Jinyoung shrugs. Jaebum blinks. “Sure, I have people I can have small talk with, people I eat lunch with, and people I work well with, but the environment isn’t really conducive to forming strong bonds with others.”
“Ah, I see,” Jaebum nods, biting the inside of his cheek as he glances away. Jinyoung bumps their shoulders together companionably. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself so Jaebum shouldn’t either.
“Aren’t you glad you left all that behind?” he smiles.
“Am I ever,” Jaebum mutters. It takes a moment, but he punches Jinyoung in the arm when he realises what he just said. “You wily little bastard,” he says with mirth in his voice.
“I knew it! I knew your vocabulary was unusually wide for someone who barely goes to school,” Jinyoung says smugly.
“Whatever,” Jaebum rolls his eyes.
“You know, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I just walked away from it all like you did,” Jinyoung mutters to himself just as his apartment complex comes into view.
“Somehow I don’t think you’d be happy with that,” Jaebum says with a sidelong glance at Jinyoung.
“Neither do I,” Jinyoung admits.
“Just keep at your moderation programme and you’ll be set,” Jaebum nods.
Jinyoung clasps his hands behind his back as they stop outside his apartment complex. “Well, thanks for walking me home again.”
“Sure, no problem,” Jaebum shrugs. This is the part where they say their goodbyes and Jaebum turns and heads for his own home, but he just stands there for a moment, staring at Jinyoung with his hands in his pockets. Jinyoung stares back, not sure what’s happening, but not wanting to look away.
“Jinyoung, what are you doing?” Jinyoung blinks as the silence is broken by his sister’s arrival. “Who’s this?” Sooyoung asks with an interested glance at Jaebum.
“This is my friend, Jaebum. Jaebum, this is my older sister, Sooyoung.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Jaebum says with a charming smile and a bow.
“Right, well, I guess I’ll see you later, Jaebum. Good night,” Jinyoung waves.
“Good night,” Jaebum leaves with a wave.
“Ah, so even you have secrets, baby brother,” Sooyoung says knowingly as they’re waiting for the lift to take them up to their floor.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jinyoung says lightly, his eyes on the lift doors.
For the rest of the time until the exam, Jinyoung manages to keep to his new routine, but he finds himself frozen two nights before the exam, pages and pages of notes spread out before him as he desperately tries to cram them all into his brain. He’s breaking his promise, but how can he sleep when he doesn’t know all of this like the back of his hand and anything and everything could be on the test? Jinyoung jumps as a ping! noise echoes through the room. It’s Jaebum.
‘it’s two in the morning. are you still up?’
Jinyoung is tempted to ignore it to make the other boy think he’s asleep, but that plan is dashed at the next ping!
‘you’re still up and trying to cram, aren’t you?’
Feeling a bit guilty, Jinyoung picks up his phone and types out a reply. ‘Yeah, I am :/’
“i figured you would be. pack an overnight bag and go to bed right now. tomorrow you’re sleeping at my house.’
‘Oh, okay.’
‘is that alright? do you have a problem with that?’
‘No, it’s fine with me. I’m just a bit surprised is all. See you tomorrow :p’
The next morning at breakfast, he tells his mother that he’ll be having an all-night study session at the house of a friend who lives close to the test site. She seems a bit surprised at this news, but she doesn’t tell him he can’t go.
“Is it that same friend who walked you home from your hagwon that one time?” Sooyoung asks behind her cup of tea.
“Yes, actually. He’s been giving some great study tips,” Jinyoung nods before he stuffs his mouth with rice as his sister raises her eyebrows.
“Well, your last assessment was even better than it usually is and you’ve been looking a bit more cheerful recently, so I’m glad you’ve made this friend,” his mother beams.
“Me too,” Jinyoung smiles.
At ten o’clock the next night, Jaebum is waiting outside of Jinyoung’s hagwon, waiting for him with a bag of food clutched in his hand. It’s a familiar sight, but Jinyoung has to pause to stare at the other boy’s profile as the metal in his ears gleams under the moonlight.
“Hey,” Jinyoung taps him on the shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“Hey, how was class?” Jaebum smiles.
“Not bad, but everyone is kind of freaking out about the exams so…” Jinyoung runs a hand through his hair.
“It’s a good thing I intercepted you then. By the way, you’re not allowed to do any cramming once the clock strikes twelve. From then on your brain-and your body-needs to rest in preparation for the real deal tomorrow,” Jaebum says decisively as they head towards the bus stop.
Jinyoung’s mouth falls open in shock. “But that’s just two hours from now! And it’s going to take an hour to get back to your house and eat,” Jinyoung can’t help but whine.
“I know,” Jaebum nods.
“I don’t know about this,” Jinyoung says unsurely.
“Has my advice been leading you astray thus far?” Jaebum asks pointedly.
“No,” Jinyoung admits, only slightly reluctantly.
“Do you trust me?” Jaebum asks quietly.
Jinyoung turns to face him fully. “Yes,” he nods solemnly. “Midnight it is,” he relents, swinging his overnight bag in resignation.
“Good,” Jaebum smiles.
With an even shorter time limit in place, Jinyoung spends the entire ride on the train and the bus with his nose in his notes, eating with one hand while he turns pages with the other, determined to get in as much revising as he can before Jaebum pulls the plug.
At twelve o’clock on the dot, Jaebum pries the books out of his hands and pushes him towards the bathroom. “Time’s up. Go shower and brush your teeth and prepare to relax your mind,” Jaebum says firmly.
Jinyoung goes, glancing over his shoulder to see Jaebum putting away his notes. Jinyoung expects that he’ll be too antsy to properly relax, but the hot water of the shower goes a long way, and he’s barely managed to get in his pyjamas before he’s yawning and his eyes are drooping.
“What a yawn! For a second I thought a bear had wandered into my house,” Jaebum laughs. “You should go to bed and get as much sleep as possible to be well-rested for tomorrow.” Jaebum puts his hands on Jinyoung’s shoulders and marches him to his bedroom.
“Where will you sleep?” Jinyoung mumbles sleepily as he settles under the covers.
“The sofa?” Jaebum shrugs.
Jinyoung grabs onto the sleeve of Jaebum’s shirt before he can leave. “Don’t wanna kick you out, plus it’ll be warmer with you here,” he mumbles.
“Alright, you just go to sleep now,” Jaebum says softly as he pulls Jinyoung hand off, giving it a squeeze before he rests it on the mattress. Jinyoung nods slightly, one foot inside a dream already.
It’s dark the next time Jinyoung opens his eyes. For a moment he just lies there, blinking in confusion. Usually he wakes to the blaring of his alarm, but he can’t recall hearing anything before he opened his eyes. Spotting his phone on the floor beside the bed, he reaches for it and checks the time; it’s twenty three minutes past six and his alarm is set for seven am. It’s a simple calculation, but Maths isn’t his best subject and he’s only just woken up, so it takes him awhile to figure out how much time he has left before he has to get up. Something shifts behind him and he nearly drops his phone. Turning over on his other side, Jinyoung sees Jaebum’s face pressed into his pillow, his mouth slightly open. The other boy usually keeps up such a serious countenance; it’s almost weird to see him look so childlike and peaceful. Jinyoung’s eyes slip closed again as a yawn stretches his mouth and he dozes off to the sound of Jaebum’s light snoring.
When his phone blares obnoxiously Jinyoung blinks his eyes open, watching in amusement as Jaebum grunts and buries his head under his pillow. Jinyoung is glad that Jaebum made him go to bed when he did, and he’s glad that he stayed in the bed like he said he would. It could change when he gets inside the exam room, but right now Jinyoung feels like he could easily manage whatever questions they decide to throw at him. Jinyoung shuts off his alarm for Jaebum’s sake and heads off to the bathroom to wash his face. When he comes out he’s surprised to see Jaebum fumbling around in the kitchen, apparently trying to make breakfast.
“You’re up?”
“I’m just gonna see you off and then I’m gonna roll right back into bed,” Jaebum says sleepily, his eyes only half open.
“I feel kinda bad for putting through all this trouble, especially since you’ve been helping me for weeks already,” Jinyoung says guiltily as he bites into a piece of toast.
“It’s not trouble to help out a friend, right?” Jaebum wipes a hand across his eyes.
“Right,” Jinyoung nods.
“If you really want to, you can treat me later after you’ve passed your exam,” Jaebum winks.
“Definitely,” Jinyoung smiles.
After he finishes his light but filling breakfast, Jinyoung gathers his belongings and makes for the front door. It’s early still; he has over an hour to get to the test site and it only takes about half an hour to get there from Jaebum's house, but he’d rather take his time, get there early and meditate than rush and get himself all riled up.
“I’m off now. Wish me luck,” Jinyoung releases a breath as he wraps his scarf around his neck.
“Good luck, Jinyoung. Just stay calm and you’ll do fine,” Jaebum says before he opens his arms. Jinyoung steps into his arms and buries his nose in the other boy’s neck, delighting in how warm his skin is. “I’ll see you later,” Jaebum murmurs into his ear before Jinyoung steps back.
“Definitely,” Jinyoung smiles. “Have a nice nap,” he waves and then he’s off.
On the way to the test site, Jinyoung sees other students on the road, most of them with their noses buried inside notes as they trying to read and navigate the pavement at the same time. If he hadn’t met Jaebum, he probably would’ve been doing the same thing, but his mind is so quiet and calm that he decides to leave it that way as he waits for the bus. His calm stays with him for the entirety of his journey and he buries himself in it as the test administrator tells them to begin.
“Hey, Jinyoung, a letter for the CSAT office came for you,” Jinyoung’s sister greets him the second he opens the door after the last day of school before winter break. “I wanted to open it, but mother insisted that it was for you to do, but if you don’t hurry up I’ll do it and suffer the consequences, the suspense is killing me,” she whines.
“Where is mother, anyway?” Jinyoung is anxious to know how he did as well, but he takes his time removing his shoes and putting away his bag before he strolls back into the living room.
“She popped down to the convenience store. Come on,” Sooyoung urges from her position sitting upside on the sofa, the envelope on the floor in below her.
“Alright,” Jinyoung grabs a letter opener and slowly cuts the brown envelop open, slowly pulling out the printed sheet and inside, slowly unfolding it…
“Oh give me that!” she snatches it out of his hands and quickly scans the paper with her eyes before Jinyoung can protest. “You did it! Your scores are amazing! Oh, I’m so proud of you!” Sooyoung sweeps him up into a hug, crushing him against her chest. “We’re so going to have to go out to celebrate,” she gushes.
“Can it wait for tomorrow? There’s something else I want to do tonight,” Jinyoung pulls away after one last squeeze.
“Some thing or someone?” Sooyoung asks with a raised eyebrow.
Good night, noona,” Jinyoung calls over his shoulder as he goes to pack an overnight bag.
About an hour after he gets home and finds out his results, Jinyoung’s phone thrills with a message from Jaebum. ‘did you get your results yet?’
‘I did.’
‘….aaaand???? you gonna make me beg for it?’
‘I’d rather not say over a text message. Can I come over now?’
‘of course! are you trying to freak me out???’
Jinyoung grins to himself. ‘I’ll see you in a few minutes.’ He isn’t really trying to worry Jaebum, and the other boy had quite the hand in making sure Jinyoung was well enough and calm to be able to sit his exams, but somehow he’s not opposed to the idea of making him squirm a bit. As he’s fidgeting on the bus to Jaebum’s house, it occurs to him that he didn’t ask the other boy if he could stay over, but it never even occurred to him that he might say no.
“So, Jinyoung, how did you do?” Jaebum asks the second he opens his door to let the other boy in, eyes narrowed at Jinyoung’s neutral face. From the way he’s drumming his fingers on the doorknob, Jinyoung can tell he’s anxious to know. This is the first time in five weeks that they’ve said anything about it, Jaebum refusing to ‘autopsy’ the exam with Jinyoung, preferring to leave it until he actually got his results.
Jinyoung maintains his stone face for a few more seconds before a bright grin breaks out on his face, his eyes crinkling at their corners. “I did it! Jaebum, I aced the entrance exam! I’m going to the Seoul Institute of Visual Arts!”
That’s all the warning Jaebum gets before Jinyoung is leaping at him, throwing his arms around the other boy’s neck. It’s been a little while since he got the official results, but he still feels delirious. “That’s great, Jinyoung! I knew you were just trying to freak me out,” he slaps the other boy on the back before he pulls away to beam at him. “And see? I told you that you could do it without killing yourself. Tell me a day and I’ll treat you to some ice cream,” he smiles.
At that moment, Jinyoung’s mind becomes quiet and all thoughts save one leave it. He leans forward and presses his lips to Jaebum’s. Jaebum goes tense beneath his hands, and Jinyoung freezes in turn. When he can finally think again, he pulls away, mouth opening to give an apology that never gets out because Jaebum pulls him back in and seals their lips together again. Jaebum cups his hands on Jinyoung’s cheeks, tilting his head to the side before something warm and wet parts his lips. Jinyoung clutches at Jaebum’s back, his mind spinning again.
“Oh, wow,” Jinyoung pants when they finally pull away for air. He’s surprised at how much his body feels like it’s made of pure electricity, how much his heart still racing and how heavy his breathing still is. He kicks off his shoes, grabs Jaebum by the shoulders, and determined marches him backward until he’s falling onto the sofa. Jinyoung climbs into his lap and kisses him again, hands clenching fistfuls of the other boy’s hair. He feels Jaebum’s hands come up to pull their bodies closer until an atom couldn’t pass between them, but it’s still not enough. Jinyoung sits up on his knees and uses them as leverage to rock his body against Jaebum’s, grinding down in the other boy’s lap. Jaebum pries Jinyoung’s lips off his, holding him away by the shoulders, and Jinyoung is about to weep before he hears Jaebum’s next words.
“Not here. My room.”
Jinyoung’s legs wrap around Jaebum’s waist as the other boy pushes himself to his feet, his hands on Jinyoung’s thighs - dangerously close to Jinyoung’s ass - to support his weight. After an almost mishap with getting Jaebum’s door open, the two of them are finally sinking into Jaebum’s mattress, arms still wrapped around each other. Kneeling over Jinyoung, Jaebum grinds his pelvis down into Jinyoung’s panting harshly into the other boy’s mouth.
“Wait, hang on,” Jinyoung pants, pushing up at Jaebum’s chest with one hand while he scrambles to get his pants unbuckled with the other. Jaebum gets the message; sitting up on his knees to rip off his shirt and kick off his pants. When they’re both down to their underwear, Jinyoung pulls him back down, moaning loudly as they have skin-to-skin contact at last. Jaebum slips a hand between their bodies, down Jinyoung’s boxer shorts, thumbing the slit of his erection before he vigorously pumps the shaft. Jinyoung’s eyes strain as they roll into the back of his head, his breath coming in short gasps as his body shudders and hot liquid splashes on his chest. Through the soft haze that fills his mind, Jinyoung registers the feeling of something hard and soft at the same time poking at his thigh through thin cotton.
“What about you?” he asks, his voice barely more than a breath.
“Can I try something?” Jaebum bites his lip.
“Yeah, sure,” Jinyoung nods, not even thinking to ask what it is.
Jaebum releases his lip, shucking his boxers off and lifting Jinyoung’s legs up so that his thighs are pressed together. Leaning over Jinyoung’s knees, Jaebum slides his cock between Jinyoung’s clenched thighs, starting high at first, but slowing moving down until his cock brushes Jinyoung’s balls with each slide. Jinyoung lifts his hand to hold his thighs together, nudging Jaebum’s away so the other boy can better brace himself on his hands and thrust with gusto. Jinyoung’s never tried anything like this before, but he can’t say he’s not enjoying himself. Above him Jaebum’s face is getting redder and redder, his face contorting beautifully as he’s consumed by pleasure. After a few more thrusts white liquid comes shooting out of Jaebum’s cock right as it’s peeking through Jinyoung’s thighs, running down Jinyoung’s abdomen to his chest to mix with the come that’s already starting to dry there. As Jaebum’s body shakes Jinyoung parts his thighs, allowing Jaebum to collapse on him, their chest sealed together by their bodily fluids.
“Wow,” Jaebum sighs in Jinyoung’s neck, his heart rate still elevated. Jinyoung cards a hand though the other boy’s sweaty locks as a kiss is dropped on his neck. The longer they wait to clean themselves off is the harder it will be to get the come off, but neither make any moves to get up, they just lie there, their fingers twining together as they listen to each other breathe.
“That was great and all, but I still want my ice cream,” Jinyoung says softly.
Jaebum’s body starts to shake as short puffs of breath tickle Jinyoung’s neck. “Oh shut up,” Jaebum smiles against his skin.
Later, when they’re in the shower together, Jinyoung asks Jaebum what he’s going to do while Jinyoung’s at university. Jinyoung feels like Jaebum could easily have made it into university as well if he wanted to, but for reasons he won’t say that’s not what he wants to do. Still, there’s got to be something he plans to do.
“I auditioned to be a back-up dancer for a hip-hop duo and was told that I passed the first stage; Yugyeom too.”
“That’s great, but when did this happen? This is the first time I’m hearing about this,” Jinyoung frowns.
“It was right around the time you were preparing to sit your exam. I didn’t want to distract you right when you had finally managed to strike the right balance,” Jaebum shrugs.
“But I wanted to support you the way you’ve supported me from day one,” Jinyoung pouts, splashing water into the other boy’s face.
“You still can,” Jaebum chuckles as he wipes his face. “I’ll be glad to have you cheering me on for the next stage of auditions,” he reaches out to hold Jinyoung’s hand. Jinyoung gives it a squeeze before he lifts it to his lips, dropping a kiss to Jaebum’s knuckles.
“I’ll be there,” he promises. Jaebum’s eyes disappear as he smiles.
[readers, don't forget to leave a comment! anonymous is on if you're shy.]
Title: Another World
Pairing(s)/focus: JB/Jr
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 9,757 words
Warnings: Brief suicidal thoughts
Summary: Jinyoung finds himself overwhelmed by the academic pressures of his prestigious school and almost goes under until he’s saved in more ways than one by a strange boy named Jaebum.
Jinyoung finds it a bit funny how he eats, sleeps, and breathes music now when it wasn’t even a blip on his radar when he was younger; he’d actually wanted to become a lawyer of all things when he was little. That certainly delighted his father, but whenever he would watch crime dramas and mimic the lawyers on TV, his mother’s lips would press together until they turned white. To this day, Jinyoung still doesn’t know why she disliked the idea so much. Still, although she didn’t encourage him the way his father used to did-calling him ‘Counsel’ whenever he raised his hand to attract attention-she never discouraged it either. To her delight and his father’s disappointment, his dreams changed the day they took him to a classical music concert at the Seoul Arts Centre - the day Jinyoung fell in love with the violin. He enjoyed the entire concert, but whenever the headlined soloist took the stage he would sit right up in his seat, staring unblinking at the woman at the centre, mesmerised by how the graceful movements of her arms and fingers would produce such beautiful sounds.
“I want to do what she did,” Jinyoung declared to himself when her final piece was over, clapping his hands and standing as tall as he could with the rest of the audience.
His mother turned her head towards him and bent down to be closer to his level. “If you want to be that good, you’re going to have to work really hard. Can you do that?” she asked with a gleam in her eyes.
“Yes, definitely,” Jinyoung nodded, filled with the boundless confidence that oozes out of the very young.
That was over twelve years ago. Nowadays, Jinyoung still loves music, still wishes to be as skilled a violin player as the woman at the concert hall, but he finds his enthusiasm for it waning as he struggles to keep his grades up. Despite all the all-nighters he had to pull in middle school to get in practise with the violin and to study Maths, English, and Music History, Jinyoung knew that simply getting into the prestigious music school that he now attends was only the start of his work. He knew that the competition would simply get fiercer from this point, but he honestly thought he could manage it. He was wrong. The worst part is how no-one seems to realise just how overwhelmed he is-or if they do they don’t care. Jinyoung has never felt so miserable in his entire life; it’s like he’s had his limbs bound and been thrown into a pool of acid that is slowly melting his entire body as he sinks into it.
“Hey, Jinyoungie, how goes the studying?” His eldest sister, Hwayoung, calls out as she peers into his room.
At the sound of her voice Jinyoung lifts his head, blinking her back into focus when his head starts to spin and his vision blurs. “I poured an entire bottle of an energy drink into my coffee and then I drank the whole thing. I’m going to die,” Jinyoung croaks, his mouth devoid of moisture. He’s not trying to be funny but she chuckles anyway.
“Ah, I know that feeling very well. It seems like the end now, but you just keep pushing on because there’s a payoff to all that hard work,” she nods sagely. “Just look at me, I endured seven years of hellish studying in high school and university, and now I’ve got a great job in a top company that pays well. I can pretty much do whatever I want,” she giggle as she shakes her head, flashing her long, wavy hair.
“I’ve been pushing on for almost three two years, but I don’t know how much longer I can last,” Jinyoung says seriously. His blinking rate increases and he feels mucous gradually starting to creep down in his nose.
She steps inside his room, pulling Jinyoung’s head to rest on her stomach as she rubs his head. “I know, I know, I was there myself. I know exactly how it feels. Sooyoung is off at the library now, probably buried under books, same as you. You’re not alone,” she says sympathetically. Jinyoung clenches his eyes shut as he buries his face in her shirt, his hands closed into fists so that he doesn’t abandon all his dignity by clinging to her the way used to when he was a child.
“It’s alright, this will soon pass. You just have to endure for a little bit more and then you’ll have an amazing life whether you want to compose music, produce it, arrange it; whatever.” Jinyoung wants to ask if he can’t have an amazing life without going through this hell, but it sounds petulant even to his own ears, so he bites it back and soaks up the affection being bestowed unto him.
“I’m heading off now, but you keep at it, okay?” She cups his cheeks and wiggles his head. Jinyoung nods obediently. “Good, I’m proud of you, baby brother,” she beams before dropping a kiss on each of his cheeks. Jinyoung can’t help but smile a bit; he’s no longer a toddler, but Hwayoung’s kisses still have their magic effect. He just wishes he had a pocket version of her that he could carry around with him to cheer him up because the magic wears off by the next day.
“Jinyoung, are you up? If you don’t hurry, you’ll miss your train and be late for school,” his mother’s voice seeps into his room through the crack in the door. He’s not asleep; he hasn’t slept in two days. Most people fall might asleep when they mentally check out of studying during an all-nighter, but Jinyoung just freezes like he’s been turned into a statue. Lifting a shaking hand to bring his watch in view, he sees that it’s been about two hours since he last read a single line of his notes. His eyes ache so much that it hurts to blink, there’s no way he could close them long enough to sleep.
“Jinyoung?” His mother’s voice is much closer than it was before. She’s probably right outside his door.
“’m up!” Jinyoung grunts, his voice sounding like it rolled off the back of a speeding truck and got dragged for a hundred feet.
“Are you coming down with flu?” Jinyoung can practically hear her frown.
“No, I’m fine,” he stumbles out of his desk chair, swaying on his feet. He then starts stripping out of his nightclothes and into his uniform, his body on full autopilot. When Jinyoung is next aware of his surroundings, he’s sitting at the table with breakfast laid out in front of him.
“Are you sure you aren’t coming down with something? Your skin looks a bit pale... At any rate, you should hurry up and eat or you’ll be late,” his mother fusses. Jinyoung nods, quickly choking down his food and tasting none of it.
When he’s finished, he gets to his feet and stumbles out the door, his feet trudging along of their own accord. As he occasionally trips over air, Jinyoung simultaneously feels like his body is made of lead and made of vapour. Whatever he is, he’s suddenly stumbling into a side alley.
“Hey, I recognise that uniform. You go to that fancy music school don’t you?” Jinyoung blinks hard as three unfamiliar faces swim in his vision.
“You need to be pretty loaded to afford the tuition there, and those shoes of yours definitely don’t look cheap,” a second voice speaks up. Jinyoung isn’t sure if he’s meant to answer, but even if he wanted to his voice has died in his throat.
“We’re a bit strapped for cash right now. Would you be a sport and lend us some money?” A hand lands on Jinyoung’s shoulder and clamps down until Jinyoung is actually able to feel pain through the haze he’s trapped in. Still unable to talk, Jinyoung moans and shakes his head. He has enough functioning nerve cells to know that they want something from him, but he can’t figure what he needs to do to satisfy them.
“Oh, are you looking down on us? Are we beneath you?” says yet another voice. The speaker’s face comes into focus just long enough for Jinyoung to see his lips are pulled back over his teeth.
“I know I said it like a question, but I wasn’t really asking you. But why don’t you take a moment to think about it?” Before Jinyoung can gather up enough wits to wonder what the first voice is talking about he’s rushing forward, his fall broken by a knee.
“Fuck what Teacher Jung says, that’s how I make a ‘persuasive argument’!” Jinyoung coughs, struggling to breathe, feeling pain ripple through his gut with every breath. The hands that were supporting him let go, gravity doing the rest of the work in bringing Jinyoung to his hands and knees, his head hanging down as he tries to catch his breath.
“Looks like he’s got the message; find his wallet.” Strange hands are then grabbing at his waist before they start sliding down his thigh with just a thin barrier of cloth separating then from his skin. Jinyoung instinctively kicks out at the intrusion.
“It’s not in his pock-Hey! He kicked me! You have got some nerve you little shit!” That’s the last thing Jinyoung hears before his face is slamming into the ground and his vision blinkers into darkness.
Jinyoung has been hovering on the border of sleeping and waking for a little while, but he keeps his eyes close, enjoying the rest that he has denied himself for so long. Even if he wanted to get, he’s not sure he could make his limbs move the right way.
Bzzzt! Hiss!
The sudden noises tip his brain over into wakefulness, and he gradually remembers that he already got up to go to school this morning, but he doesn’t recall getting there. He slowly opens his eyes, expecting sunlight to blind him, but instead sees that the sky is a dark orange colour. Blinking some more, Jinyoung eases himself into a sitting position and looks around the room that he’s currently in.
Jinyoung would never describe himself as a materialistic person, but aside from his books and music paraphernalia his room is dotted with personal belongings. In contrast, the room he’s in right now is so Spartan that he can’t believe someone actually lives in it. The only things in the room are a desk with a chair, a wardrobe, and the mattress he’s currently lying on.
“Where am I?” The faint vibration in his throat as his mouth moves is the only thing that makes him recognise the sound as his own voice. Jinyoung jumps as the door to the room swings open.
“Oh, you’re awake. About fucking time too,” grumbles a tall guy with a cut above his eye who looks to be about Jinyoung’s age. His hair is the colour of the sky that Jinyoung usually stares at on the bus home, both his ears are adorned with bits of metal, and he’s got piercing brown eyes that demand to be looked at and warn against contact at the same time. A slight movement in Jinyoung’s peripheral vision has him shifting his gaze down to see the other boy fiddling with what looks like a first aid kit.
“Looks like the swelling in your face has gone down.” Jinyoung blinks. He opens his mouth to speak, but his stomach beats him to the punch; Jinyoung cringes. “Yeah, you must be famished. You haven’t eaten all day. Well come on, you’ve already made a nuisance of yourself to me, you may as well have something to eat before you go,” the other boy gestures with his head and walks out the door. Jinyoung clambers to his feet and follows after him.
The room he was sleeping in is right off the living room, which is almost as sparse as the bedroom. In the middle of it lies a low table spread with two bowls of rice and two bowls of what looks like kimchi jigae. The other boy takes a seat at the end closer to a small television, turning it on and flipping through channels, and so Jinyoung goes to sit at the other end. Although he was invited to stay, Jinyoung feels awkward about eating before his host, so he sits with his hands clenched in his lap as waits for the other boy to pick a channel.
“You can start eating, you know. You must be really hungry; you’re almost diving into the food,” the other boy says airily, his eyes still on the television.
Jinyoung sits up from where he was doubled over, cheeks heating up again. He clears his throat before he says thanks for the food and digs in. Objectively, it’s not the tastiest meal he’s ever eaten, but he’s so hungry right now that he’d happily gobble down anything that’s hot and edible. The other boy might not be a top chef, but he’s certainly no fool in the kitchen. Jinyoung gets halfway through his bowl of rice before he realises what’s odd about this picture.
“Where’s your mother? Does she work?” Jinyoung asks. The other boy stiffens, momentarily pausing his eating, his face ashen. Jinyoung mentally kicks himself for bringing up what’s clearly a sensitive subject. “I’m sorry, I- ”
“Forget it.”
“Right…Well, it’s only about ten minutes past four, shouldn’t you be in school now?” Jinyoung says with a glance at his watch and the uniform jacket hung up at the entryway. When the other boy cocks an eyebrow at him, Jinyoung winces. He was only trying to salvage the atmosphere; he didn’t mean to sound like he was giving the guy a lecture.
“Funnily enough, I actually planned on going in today, if only to eat lunch, but then some idiot went and got himself mugged so I had to save him, injuring myself in the process. Then, after dragging his unconscious body back to my house, I was stuck looking after his dead ass the whole day without my free lunch,” the other boy says dryly.
Jinyoung swallows his mouthful of rice hard, feeling his face get warm. “Thank you, by the way; for rescuing me and for sharing your food with me.”
“Whatever,” the other boy says dismissively.
“Um, if you don’t mind, could you tell me your name? Mine is Park Jinyoung, by the way,” Jinyoung ventures.
“I didn’t ask.”
“Right...” Jinyoung sighs under his breath, his shoulders slumping; it looks like he simply put his foot too far down his throat. He continues to eat his rice and stew, trying to think of something he could say to make up for his blunder when it’s time for him to leave. He’s so deep in thought that he almost misses it. “Sorry, what was that?” He looks up.
“Jaebum. My name’s Im Jaebum,” the other boy-Jaebum-says softly.
“Hello, Jaebum,” Jinyoung smiles, the tension draining out of his body. He decides not to push his luck and remains quiet for the rest of the meal, the sound of the television and their chopsticks clinking against their bowls the only sounds in the room.
“Thanks for the food,” Jinyoung groans pleasantly as he sits back, resting on his hands. As soon as he finishes eating, Jaebum collects their bowls and carries them to the kitchen. “Do you need help washing them?”
“I’m fine.”
“I feel bad making you do all the work when you’ve been so kind and hospitable to me. Let me help, please,” Jinyoung pleads as he gets to his feet and heads to the kitchen.
“Alright, fine, you wash the bowls and I’ll put away the leftovers and wipe down the table,” Jaebum sighs. Jinyoung stops in front of the sink and rolls his sleeves up before he starts washing up the bowls.
“Which school do you go to, by the way?” Jinyoung can’t help but ask.
“I don’t.”
“Oh, but, I thought you said you missed class today.”
“I did, but that’s not exactly unusual for me.” Jinyoung frowns. He wants to ask why the other boy skips school so much, but he doesn’t want to aggravate him again, so he bites his tongue. “I can hear you thinking over there,” Jaebum drawls. Jinyoung looks back over his shoulder. “You want to know why I don’t go to school but you’re too scared to ask.”
“I’m not scared to ask, I’m just being careful,” Jinyoung frowns.
“Go on then, ask me,” Jaebum says with a smirk.
“Why do you skip school so much?”
“Because it’s useless to me,” Jaebum says with a shrug.
“Useless?”
“B-boying is the only thing I care about, and school can’t help me with that. I know how to read and write and spell and shit, anything more is…superfluous,” Jaebum snorts with an eye roll.
“You know you don’t really talk like someone who thinks school is useless,” Jinyoung says pointedly.
“You don’t know jack shit about me,” Jaebum shrugs.
“Right, well, I’ve finished washing up,” Jinyoung says as he rinses his hands. He supposes he should leave, but his after school tutoring doesn’t start for three more hours and he can’t go home and get questions asked about why he’s not in school.
“Do you not have anywhere to be now?” Jaebum asks as he washes out the cloth he used to wipe the table.
“No, not really,” Jinyoung says awkwardly, worried that he’s overstaying his welcome.
“Well, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. I’m leaving soon,” Jaebum says as he washes his hands.
“Where are you going?”
Jaebum gives him a look before he answers. “To meet my friends. We need to rehearse our routines before the upcoming tournament.”
“Tournament? Routines? Like, for b-boying?” Jinyoung asks with furrowed brows.
“Yup,” Jaebum nods, drying his hands. “Your bag’s in the room,” Jaebum gestures with his head. Jinyoung goes back inside and retrieves his bag from beside the bed. When he comes out, Jaebum is by the entryway, slipping on his shoes. As Jinyoung approaches, Jaebum points out his own pair of shoes and his school jacket.
“Um, where are you going to practise?” Jinyoung asks Jaebum, eyes on his shoes as he slips them on.
“Why do you ask?”
“Maybe, if it’s not a problem with you and it’s not too far, I thought maybe I could…watch you?”
“Don’t you have some studying to be doing?” Jaebum cocks an eyebrow as he throws a significant glance at the school insignia woven into Jinyoung’s breast pocket.
“If I study any more, then I’ll throw myself off into the Han River,” Jinyoung laughs without humour.
Jaebum frowns deeply. “That’s not something you should joke about,” he says, his voice and his eyes both dark and cold.
“Who says I’m joking?” Jinyoung’s never been hysterical before, but he would say the unbidden lightness he feels in his head might be it. Jaebum opens his mouth, as if to say something, but it snaps shut a moment later and he walks off, frowning and shaking his head. Jinyoung stays stuck to his spot, leaning forward on the balls of his feet as he watches Jaebum’s back, but he doesn’t move until Jaebum speaks again.
“Just don’t get in the way,” he calls over his shoulder. Jinyoung huffs out a breath, feeling something in his chest unclench, before he readjusts his bag on his shoulder and jogs after the other boy, his steps lighter than they’ve been for a long time. Later he’ll have to go home and deal with the consequences of missing school, but for now he’ll enjoy his visit to Jaebum’s world.
On the way to wherever it is that they’re going, Jinyoung stays a half-step behind Jaebum, not quite walking beside him but not trailing behind him either. Glancing to his left, Jinyoung sees the trail of white leading from Jaebum’s ear and down to his pocket. Jaebum’s lips are moving slightly with nothing but a whisper of sound drifting out of them as he nods his head nod slightly and taps his index finger against the strap of his bag. What sort of music would a b-boy like to listen to? Jinyoung hardly knows anything about b-boying other than the fact that it’s a form of street dancing, in which case Jaebum would probably be listening to something upbeat and high energy with a lot of bass. Glancing at the mobile phone peaking out of Jaebum’s pocket, Jinyoung’s fingers itch as he tries to imagine what the other boy’s song list might look like.
“Is there a problem?” Jaebum turns to look at Jinyoung above four minutes into the bus ride.
“Uh, no,” Jinyoung sits up from where he was bent over, trying to glance inside Jaebum’s pocket. Jaebum raises an eyebrow, “I was just curious about your music,” Jinyoung says with a vague hand wave.
“Is that it?” Jaebum mutters with an eye roll. Before Jinyoung can pout, Jaebum pops one of the buds out of his ear, wipes it on his pants, and offers it to Jinyoung. Right as he’s replacing the bud in his own ear, Jaebum pulls his phone out of his pocket and changes the song.
Jinyoung blinks as the sounds of smooth, sultry R&B fills his left ear. “Is this- You listen to D’Angelo of all people?” Jinyoung turns to Jaebum in surprise, looking at him as though he’s ripped of his face to reveal a different person beneath it.
“You know who D’Angelo is?” Jaebum asks, sounding surprised himself.
“Classical music might be my speciality, but I’m open to anything that appeals to me,” Jinyoung shrugs as his body slightly sways in his seat.
“Huh, well I guess we both learned a lesson about making assumptions,” Jaebum says casually as he fiddles with his phone.
“I guess so,” Jinyoung says, feeling a little abashed. “Wait, hang on, what was that?” Jinyoung leans into Jaebum’s personal space as something on Jaebum’s screen caught his eye.
“What was what?” Jaebum blinks.
“You listen to Beyoncé?” Jinyoung chuckles, feeling the skin at the corner of his eyes fold up into crinkles.
“Everyone listens to Beyoncé,” Jaebum insists with pink cheeks.
“True, true,” Jinyoung nods before he takes the phone from Jaebum and changes the song. It’s hard for him to pick one song of hers as his personal favourite, but ‘Drunk In Love’ is the one he likes to play the most recently.
“Do you even know what you’re singing?” Jaebum laughs as he shakes his head at Jinyoung enthusiastically mouthing along to the hook.
“More than you think,” Jinyoung mutters to himself.
When Jinyoung thinks of street dancing, images of young men in baggy clothes doing wild moves in abandoned warehouses and outside of train stations comes to mind, so he’s pretty surprised when he and Jaebum end up standing outside of a dance studio.
“This is where you practise?” Jinyoung blinks as they pass several closed doors, heading to the last one.
“Yeah, my friend, Bambam’s, parents own it. His mother teaches jazzercise or something. She lets us use the last room when it’s free,” Jaebum says as he opens the door and steps inside.
“Jaebum-hyung!” A baby-faced boy with the front of his hair dyed pink runs up to Jaebum. “Who’s your friend?” he asks with a glance at Jinyoung.
“This is Jinyoung, he’s going to be our spectator today. Think of him as the audience and judges that we’ll have to wow in two weeks.”
“He’s all of the judges and the entire audience all at once?” The younger boy looks sceptical. Jaebum pulls him into a headlock, grumbling at him not to be a smart ass.
“Jaebum-hyung, stop, you can’t kill Bambam! If nothing else, we couldn’t replace him in time,” a new voice comes from behind. Jinyoung turns around to see a boy taller than him who looks older than Jinyoung but sounds younger than him. “Oh, hello. Are you a friend of Jaebum-hyung’s? He never brings friends here,” the boy tilts his head.
“Jinyoung, this is Yugyeom. Yugyeom, this is Jinyoung,” Jaebum says as he releases Bambam. “Where’s Jackson by the way?”
“He’s not coming today,” Bambam says as he rubs his neck. “He ate a bunch of spicy food to impress this girl at school so-”
“Spare me the details,” Jaebum holds up a hand. “Well, we won’t be able to get too much practise our group routine, but we can still do our individual ones and you two can do your duo. We really shouldn’t be missing any practises just two weeks before a competition, someone please remind me to wring his neck the next time I see him,” Jaebum sighs in frustration as he strips off his jacket. “Alright, let’s get started.”
Jaebum has been pretty restrained in the time Jinyoung has been around him, but he simply comes alive when he’s dancing, even just the warm up routine leaves his skin glowing with satisfaction and there’s a smile on his face that he can’t cover up or erase. Yugyeom and Bambam are also really good, and they throw just as much passion into their movements, but Jinyoung finds his eyes shifting to focus on Jaebum. It’s like he’s six years old and sitting in the concert hall again as he watches Jaebum spin his entire body while doing a handstand. Jinyoung jumps up and claps furiously the second the music stops.
“That was amazing,” he breathes, his eyes fixed on Jaebum. Jaebum grins before he presses his lips together and forces his face to a neutral expression.
“Feel free to be a bit more economical with your praise or else these two might get even cockier than they already are,” Jaebum says ruefully as Bambam and Yugyeom hi-five each other and cheer. “I guess it’s a good thing Jackson isn’t here today or he’d become insufferable.”
“I mean it, you guys were great,” Jinyoung says with his eyes on Jaebum.
“Thanks,” Jaebum mumbles, turns away to dig a water bottle out of his bag and downing half of its contents in one go. “Yugyeom and Bambam, get your music,” Jaebum says before he takes a seat beside Jinyoung.
Jinyoung stares at the other boy as he feels the heat from his body radiating outwards and warming up his skin. “What did Jackson’s part in your pair routine involve anyway?” Jaebum turns to him with a raised eyebrow. “I’m just curious,” Jinyoung shrugs innocently. Jaebum narrows his eyes a bit before he gives a rough demonstration as Bambam and Yugyeom do a partial run through of their routine before they’re ready to do it for real.
“We’re ready now,” Yugyeom claps. Jaebum retakes a seat beside Jinyoung, who is busy playing back the movements through in his mind. Even so, he manages to give Yugyeom and Bambam at least half his attention. They work even better as a team than they do individually and they also seem to smile brighter and have more fun as a pair.
“Not bad you two, but try to remember that you’re giving a performance; try not to be so self-indulgent,” Jaebum says critically. “Well let’s just keep running through what we can today,” Jaebum says as he gets up and prepares to take the ‘stage’ again. He raises his eyebrows as Jinyoung gets up and follows him.
“Jinyoung-hyung, I thought you were the audience and/or judges,” Yugyeom says with a confused frown on his face.
“Just put on Jackson and Jaebum’s music,” Jinyoung says with a smile.
“Alright,” he mutters, still sounding confused.
“Let’s do it,” Jinyoung winks at Jaebum.
Jaebum’s eyebrows are furrowed when he first starts to move, clearly doubting Jinyoung’s ability to pull this off, but they rise as he throws himself into the routine and Jinyoung manages to keep up with him for the most part. They’re probably nowhere as smooth or synchronised as he and Jackson, but they’re definitely doing well all things considered. With some more practise, they might actually be worth watching. Bambam and Yugyeom certainly seem to be enjoying the show if their jumping around is anything to go by.
“You didn’t tell us Jinyoung-hyung could dance, Jaebum-hyung,” Bambam grins.
“He didn’t tell me either,” Jaebum pants, slightly out of breath.
“We all have our secrets,” Jinyoung pants, almost entirely out of breath. Still, he grins up at Jaebum from where he’s bent over, sweat beading on his forehead.
“I guess so,” Jaebum shakes his head with a half smile.
It wasn’t the brightest idea for Jinyoung to get up and throw himself into performing such an energetic dance routine without warming up first, but even with the stitch in his side and the slight cramping in his legs, he can’t truly regret it. He spends the rest of the time sitting on the sidelines, watching the others and putting his judging hat on to point our possible areas of improvement. He’s a student of a different arts discipline entirely, but it seems he’s not too far off since Jaebum nods solemnly as he listens to his comments. Right as the three of them are warming down, a short woman with her hair up in a bun appears by the door, calling out to Bambam in a strange language.
“My mother says our time is up for today. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jaebum-hyung and it was nice meeting you, Jinyoung-hyung. Come on, Yugyeom, let’s go get something to eat.”
“Bye Jaebum-hyung, Jinyoung-hyung,” Yugyeom waves before he’s skipping out with Bambam.
As Jaebum retrieves his jacket, Jinyoung checks the time, blinking in surprise at how quickly two hours went by.
“Which way is your hagwon?” Jaebum asks as they step outside.
“Why do you ask?” Jinyoung blinks.
“You seemed to have recovered from your earlier episode, but since you’ve got me acting the Good Samaritan, I figure I might as well see you off as my final good deed for the day,” Jaebum shrugs. “So, where are we going?” he looks at Jinyoung expectantly. Jinyoung nods before he pulls up the GPS app on his phone, hiding a small smile behind it. Jaebum doesn’t say anything during their trip to the train station, but he doesn’t bury himself inside his music either. Jaebum finally clears his throat when the two of them are zipping along at 60mph and Jinyoung turns to him expectantly.
“You know, I must admit that you really surprised me back there. Jackson’s spot could be in real trouble if you seriously decide to try for it,” Jaebum says lowly while rubbing his mouth. Despite his efforts at concealment, Jinyoung can just about see the smile that’s brightening the other boy’s face and he grins.
“Don’t think you’ve got me figured out, Im Jaebum. You don’t know jack shit about me,” Jinyoung companionably bumps their shoulders to lessen the bite of his words.
“Ha ha, alright, fair enough,” Jaebum snorts, giving Jinyoung’s shoulder a playful shove. “Well, if music is giving you hell, at least you might have dancing to fall back on.”
“Right,” Jinyoung sighs, his shoulders drooping a bit.
“Is it that bad?” Jaebum asks with furrowed eyebrows. Jinyoung figured that the weight feels digging into his shoulders and pressing him into his seat is purely a figment of his own mind, but Jaebum is looking at him like he can actually see it.
“I just feel so burnt out now. I think I’d be fine if I had a time machine and could just escape and take a break for a while before coming back to finish the year, but clearly that’s not an option,” Jinyoung sighs.
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Jinyoung sighs. “I definitely still want to have a career in music-I love music-but I can’t carry on like this.” Jinyoung runs his hands through his hair, tugging it until he’s dangerously close to ripping a handful of his own hair out.
“Hey,” Jaebum chides, prying Jinyoung’s hands out of his hair. Jinyoung blinks, surprised at the way his lips heart speeds up at the sensation of Jaebum holding his hands, especially for such a brief and perfunctory action. “Look, I can’t tell you how to live your life, but I will say this: do what you can. School is important to you, that much is plain to see. I can’t relate; I never really cared for it even when I-Well, anyway, my point is that you should ease up a bit so that you don’t end up sending yourself to an early grave. Alright?” Jinyoung opens his eyes-not sure when he closed them-at the comfortable weight of Jaebum’s hands on his shoulders.
“I’ve been conditioned to push myself as hard as I can with music ever since I started playing the violin when I was six. I really don’t think I can do that,” Jinyoung says softly, his voice barely more than a whisper.
“I’m not saying you stop going to hagwons and get eight hours of sleep every night, I am Korean you know,” Jaebum snorts. “What I am saying is that you do just enough to make sure that you can at least function properly instead of pushing yourself until you end up that half-dead mess I had to carry to my house. Make sure you get at least four hours sleep every night no matter what and don’t skip meals,” Jaebum says firmly, giving Jinyoung’s shoulders a squeeze. To Jinyoung’s surprise, that seems to decrease the press of the invisible weight on his back. “This is our stop, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s this one,” Jinyoung eases himself out of his seat, heading to the exit. The hagwon is about five minutes from the train station, so it’s not long until they arrive at their destination.
“Where were you today, Jinyoung? Are you turning into a delinquent?” A boy in his class sneers as he passes them on the stairs, his eyes flitting between Jinyoung and Jaebum.
“I was sick for most of the day. My friend was just making sure I got here safely,” Jinyoung says with a bland smile.
“Alrighty then,” he says with one more glance between them before he heads inside the classroom. Jinyoung expects Jaebum to leave now that they’ve arrived but he surprises Jinyoung by telling him to take out his phone.
“Let’s exchange numbers so that you can contact me if things are getting too much for you again and I can check on you. Don’t hesitate to call me, I’ve got lots of free time, remember?” Jaebum winks and turns to leave.
“Would you mind seeing me home too? You know, just to make sure I’m alright,” Jinyoung blurts out.
“You finish at ten, right?” Jinyoung nods. “Alright, I’ll see you then,” Jaebum waves with a smirk. Jinyoung smiles and waves back before he turns and heads inside the classroom with lighter steps.
Old habits die hard of course, but with Jaebum’s regular prodding, Jinyoung slowly starts to take better care of himself. The real test comes one night at two in the morning when Jinyoung is hunched over a half-finished English assignment for his hagwon, his eyes dropping as his vision starts to blur. He glances at the time on his phone, Jaebum’s voice in one ear telling him to pull the plug and go to sleep, his sister’s voice in his other ear telling him he can finish it and still get some sleep. He bites his lip, rationalising that it shouldn’t take too much longer to finish it when Jaebum’s voice shoots back that if it won’t that that much time then he can finish it during lunch. Jinyoung slams his laptop closed and throws himself into bed, willing himself to fall asleep before he regains the strength to get up and go back to his desk.
“It was a bit weird, hearing your voice, but also reassuring. Does this mean your advice is working or have I actually gotten worse since I’m now hearing voices?” Jinyoung chuckles as they’re walking together back to Jinyoung’s home a week later.
“Your eyes look a lot brighter and you don’t look quite so burdened anymore, so I’d say it’s doing its job,” Jaebum says pensively.
“Did you recommend I try it because it worked for you?” Jinyoung asks, staring at Jaebum’s face very intently. It’s the closest Jinyoung has come to asking about Jaebum’s personal life ever since they first met. Jinyoung doesn’t really expect him to answer, but Jaebum is full of surprises.
“It worked for me until it didn’t, but my circumstances were different,” Jaebum smiles wanly.
“Does it have something to do with your mother?” Jinyoung all but whispers.
“It does,” Jaebum says plainly.
Jinyoung nods, sensing the other boy’s discomfort. “How did your competition go by the way? I’m sorry I couldn’t come that day,” Jinyoung says apologetically.
Jaebum shakes his head. “Don’t even worry about it. We were really off our game that day, I was embarrassed enough already without you seeing us like that,” he scoffs lightly. “Anyway, Bambam and Yugyeom keep asking about you and that’s made Jackson curious to meet you as well,” Jaebum rolls his eyes.
“Is that such a bad thing? Are you ashamed of me, Im Jaebum?” Jinyoung pouts slightly and flutters his eyelashes.
Jaebum jumps a bit, his eyes widening as he fumbles for words. “You’re one to talk! You’ve met most of my friends, but I haven’t even been introduced to a single one of yours,” Jaebum says incredulously.
“That’s only because I don’t really have friends,” Jinyoung shrugs. Jaebum blinks. “Sure, I have people I can have small talk with, people I eat lunch with, and people I work well with, but the environment isn’t really conducive to forming strong bonds with others.”
“Ah, I see,” Jaebum nods, biting the inside of his cheek as he glances away. Jinyoung bumps their shoulders together companionably. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself so Jaebum shouldn’t either.
“Aren’t you glad you left all that behind?” he smiles.
“Am I ever,” Jaebum mutters. It takes a moment, but he punches Jinyoung in the arm when he realises what he just said. “You wily little bastard,” he says with mirth in his voice.
“I knew it! I knew your vocabulary was unusually wide for someone who barely goes to school,” Jinyoung says smugly.
“Whatever,” Jaebum rolls his eyes.
“You know, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I just walked away from it all like you did,” Jinyoung mutters to himself just as his apartment complex comes into view.
“Somehow I don’t think you’d be happy with that,” Jaebum says with a sidelong glance at Jinyoung.
“Neither do I,” Jinyoung admits.
“Just keep at your moderation programme and you’ll be set,” Jaebum nods.
Jinyoung clasps his hands behind his back as they stop outside his apartment complex. “Well, thanks for walking me home again.”
“Sure, no problem,” Jaebum shrugs. This is the part where they say their goodbyes and Jaebum turns and heads for his own home, but he just stands there for a moment, staring at Jinyoung with his hands in his pockets. Jinyoung stares back, not sure what’s happening, but not wanting to look away.
“Jinyoung, what are you doing?” Jinyoung blinks as the silence is broken by his sister’s arrival. “Who’s this?” Sooyoung asks with an interested glance at Jaebum.
“This is my friend, Jaebum. Jaebum, this is my older sister, Sooyoung.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Jaebum says with a charming smile and a bow.
“Right, well, I guess I’ll see you later, Jaebum. Good night,” Jinyoung waves.
“Good night,” Jaebum leaves with a wave.
“Ah, so even you have secrets, baby brother,” Sooyoung says knowingly as they’re waiting for the lift to take them up to their floor.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jinyoung says lightly, his eyes on the lift doors.
For the rest of the time until the exam, Jinyoung manages to keep to his new routine, but he finds himself frozen two nights before the exam, pages and pages of notes spread out before him as he desperately tries to cram them all into his brain. He’s breaking his promise, but how can he sleep when he doesn’t know all of this like the back of his hand and anything and everything could be on the test? Jinyoung jumps as a ping! noise echoes through the room. It’s Jaebum.
‘it’s two in the morning. are you still up?’
Jinyoung is tempted to ignore it to make the other boy think he’s asleep, but that plan is dashed at the next ping!
‘you’re still up and trying to cram, aren’t you?’
Feeling a bit guilty, Jinyoung picks up his phone and types out a reply. ‘Yeah, I am :/’
“i figured you would be. pack an overnight bag and go to bed right now. tomorrow you’re sleeping at my house.’
‘Oh, okay.’
‘is that alright? do you have a problem with that?’
‘No, it’s fine with me. I’m just a bit surprised is all. See you tomorrow :p’
The next morning at breakfast, he tells his mother that he’ll be having an all-night study session at the house of a friend who lives close to the test site. She seems a bit surprised at this news, but she doesn’t tell him he can’t go.
“Is it that same friend who walked you home from your hagwon that one time?” Sooyoung asks behind her cup of tea.
“Yes, actually. He’s been giving some great study tips,” Jinyoung nods before he stuffs his mouth with rice as his sister raises her eyebrows.
“Well, your last assessment was even better than it usually is and you’ve been looking a bit more cheerful recently, so I’m glad you’ve made this friend,” his mother beams.
“Me too,” Jinyoung smiles.
At ten o’clock the next night, Jaebum is waiting outside of Jinyoung’s hagwon, waiting for him with a bag of food clutched in his hand. It’s a familiar sight, but Jinyoung has to pause to stare at the other boy’s profile as the metal in his ears gleams under the moonlight.
“Hey,” Jinyoung taps him on the shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“Hey, how was class?” Jaebum smiles.
“Not bad, but everyone is kind of freaking out about the exams so…” Jinyoung runs a hand through his hair.
“It’s a good thing I intercepted you then. By the way, you’re not allowed to do any cramming once the clock strikes twelve. From then on your brain-and your body-needs to rest in preparation for the real deal tomorrow,” Jaebum says decisively as they head towards the bus stop.
Jinyoung’s mouth falls open in shock. “But that’s just two hours from now! And it’s going to take an hour to get back to your house and eat,” Jinyoung can’t help but whine.
“I know,” Jaebum nods.
“I don’t know about this,” Jinyoung says unsurely.
“Has my advice been leading you astray thus far?” Jaebum asks pointedly.
“No,” Jinyoung admits, only slightly reluctantly.
“Do you trust me?” Jaebum asks quietly.
Jinyoung turns to face him fully. “Yes,” he nods solemnly. “Midnight it is,” he relents, swinging his overnight bag in resignation.
“Good,” Jaebum smiles.
With an even shorter time limit in place, Jinyoung spends the entire ride on the train and the bus with his nose in his notes, eating with one hand while he turns pages with the other, determined to get in as much revising as he can before Jaebum pulls the plug.
At twelve o’clock on the dot, Jaebum pries the books out of his hands and pushes him towards the bathroom. “Time’s up. Go shower and brush your teeth and prepare to relax your mind,” Jaebum says firmly.
Jinyoung goes, glancing over his shoulder to see Jaebum putting away his notes. Jinyoung expects that he’ll be too antsy to properly relax, but the hot water of the shower goes a long way, and he’s barely managed to get in his pyjamas before he’s yawning and his eyes are drooping.
“What a yawn! For a second I thought a bear had wandered into my house,” Jaebum laughs. “You should go to bed and get as much sleep as possible to be well-rested for tomorrow.” Jaebum puts his hands on Jinyoung’s shoulders and marches him to his bedroom.
“Where will you sleep?” Jinyoung mumbles sleepily as he settles under the covers.
“The sofa?” Jaebum shrugs.
Jinyoung grabs onto the sleeve of Jaebum’s shirt before he can leave. “Don’t wanna kick you out, plus it’ll be warmer with you here,” he mumbles.
“Alright, you just go to sleep now,” Jaebum says softly as he pulls Jinyoung hand off, giving it a squeeze before he rests it on the mattress. Jinyoung nods slightly, one foot inside a dream already.
It’s dark the next time Jinyoung opens his eyes. For a moment he just lies there, blinking in confusion. Usually he wakes to the blaring of his alarm, but he can’t recall hearing anything before he opened his eyes. Spotting his phone on the floor beside the bed, he reaches for it and checks the time; it’s twenty three minutes past six and his alarm is set for seven am. It’s a simple calculation, but Maths isn’t his best subject and he’s only just woken up, so it takes him awhile to figure out how much time he has left before he has to get up. Something shifts behind him and he nearly drops his phone. Turning over on his other side, Jinyoung sees Jaebum’s face pressed into his pillow, his mouth slightly open. The other boy usually keeps up such a serious countenance; it’s almost weird to see him look so childlike and peaceful. Jinyoung’s eyes slip closed again as a yawn stretches his mouth and he dozes off to the sound of Jaebum’s light snoring.
When his phone blares obnoxiously Jinyoung blinks his eyes open, watching in amusement as Jaebum grunts and buries his head under his pillow. Jinyoung is glad that Jaebum made him go to bed when he did, and he’s glad that he stayed in the bed like he said he would. It could change when he gets inside the exam room, but right now Jinyoung feels like he could easily manage whatever questions they decide to throw at him. Jinyoung shuts off his alarm for Jaebum’s sake and heads off to the bathroom to wash his face. When he comes out he’s surprised to see Jaebum fumbling around in the kitchen, apparently trying to make breakfast.
“You’re up?”
“I’m just gonna see you off and then I’m gonna roll right back into bed,” Jaebum says sleepily, his eyes only half open.
“I feel kinda bad for putting through all this trouble, especially since you’ve been helping me for weeks already,” Jinyoung says guiltily as he bites into a piece of toast.
“It’s not trouble to help out a friend, right?” Jaebum wipes a hand across his eyes.
“Right,” Jinyoung nods.
“If you really want to, you can treat me later after you’ve passed your exam,” Jaebum winks.
“Definitely,” Jinyoung smiles.
After he finishes his light but filling breakfast, Jinyoung gathers his belongings and makes for the front door. It’s early still; he has over an hour to get to the test site and it only takes about half an hour to get there from Jaebum's house, but he’d rather take his time, get there early and meditate than rush and get himself all riled up.
“I’m off now. Wish me luck,” Jinyoung releases a breath as he wraps his scarf around his neck.
“Good luck, Jinyoung. Just stay calm and you’ll do fine,” Jaebum says before he opens his arms. Jinyoung steps into his arms and buries his nose in the other boy’s neck, delighting in how warm his skin is. “I’ll see you later,” Jaebum murmurs into his ear before Jinyoung steps back.
“Definitely,” Jinyoung smiles. “Have a nice nap,” he waves and then he’s off.
On the way to the test site, Jinyoung sees other students on the road, most of them with their noses buried inside notes as they trying to read and navigate the pavement at the same time. If he hadn’t met Jaebum, he probably would’ve been doing the same thing, but his mind is so quiet and calm that he decides to leave it that way as he waits for the bus. His calm stays with him for the entirety of his journey and he buries himself in it as the test administrator tells them to begin.
“Hey, Jinyoung, a letter for the CSAT office came for you,” Jinyoung’s sister greets him the second he opens the door after the last day of school before winter break. “I wanted to open it, but mother insisted that it was for you to do, but if you don’t hurry up I’ll do it and suffer the consequences, the suspense is killing me,” she whines.
“Where is mother, anyway?” Jinyoung is anxious to know how he did as well, but he takes his time removing his shoes and putting away his bag before he strolls back into the living room.
“She popped down to the convenience store. Come on,” Sooyoung urges from her position sitting upside on the sofa, the envelope on the floor in below her.
“Alright,” Jinyoung grabs a letter opener and slowly cuts the brown envelop open, slowly pulling out the printed sheet and inside, slowly unfolding it…
“Oh give me that!” she snatches it out of his hands and quickly scans the paper with her eyes before Jinyoung can protest. “You did it! Your scores are amazing! Oh, I’m so proud of you!” Sooyoung sweeps him up into a hug, crushing him against her chest. “We’re so going to have to go out to celebrate,” she gushes.
“Can it wait for tomorrow? There’s something else I want to do tonight,” Jinyoung pulls away after one last squeeze.
“Some thing or someone?” Sooyoung asks with a raised eyebrow.
Good night, noona,” Jinyoung calls over his shoulder as he goes to pack an overnight bag.
About an hour after he gets home and finds out his results, Jinyoung’s phone thrills with a message from Jaebum. ‘did you get your results yet?’
‘I did.’
‘….aaaand???? you gonna make me beg for it?’
‘I’d rather not say over a text message. Can I come over now?’
‘of course! are you trying to freak me out???’
Jinyoung grins to himself. ‘I’ll see you in a few minutes.’ He isn’t really trying to worry Jaebum, and the other boy had quite the hand in making sure Jinyoung was well enough and calm to be able to sit his exams, but somehow he’s not opposed to the idea of making him squirm a bit. As he’s fidgeting on the bus to Jaebum’s house, it occurs to him that he didn’t ask the other boy if he could stay over, but it never even occurred to him that he might say no.
“So, Jinyoung, how did you do?” Jaebum asks the second he opens his door to let the other boy in, eyes narrowed at Jinyoung’s neutral face. From the way he’s drumming his fingers on the doorknob, Jinyoung can tell he’s anxious to know. This is the first time in five weeks that they’ve said anything about it, Jaebum refusing to ‘autopsy’ the exam with Jinyoung, preferring to leave it until he actually got his results.
Jinyoung maintains his stone face for a few more seconds before a bright grin breaks out on his face, his eyes crinkling at their corners. “I did it! Jaebum, I aced the entrance exam! I’m going to the Seoul Institute of Visual Arts!”
That’s all the warning Jaebum gets before Jinyoung is leaping at him, throwing his arms around the other boy’s neck. It’s been a little while since he got the official results, but he still feels delirious. “That’s great, Jinyoung! I knew you were just trying to freak me out,” he slaps the other boy on the back before he pulls away to beam at him. “And see? I told you that you could do it without killing yourself. Tell me a day and I’ll treat you to some ice cream,” he smiles.
At that moment, Jinyoung’s mind becomes quiet and all thoughts save one leave it. He leans forward and presses his lips to Jaebum’s. Jaebum goes tense beneath his hands, and Jinyoung freezes in turn. When he can finally think again, he pulls away, mouth opening to give an apology that never gets out because Jaebum pulls him back in and seals their lips together again. Jaebum cups his hands on Jinyoung’s cheeks, tilting his head to the side before something warm and wet parts his lips. Jinyoung clutches at Jaebum’s back, his mind spinning again.
“Oh, wow,” Jinyoung pants when they finally pull away for air. He’s surprised at how much his body feels like it’s made of pure electricity, how much his heart still racing and how heavy his breathing still is. He kicks off his shoes, grabs Jaebum by the shoulders, and determined marches him backward until he’s falling onto the sofa. Jinyoung climbs into his lap and kisses him again, hands clenching fistfuls of the other boy’s hair. He feels Jaebum’s hands come up to pull their bodies closer until an atom couldn’t pass between them, but it’s still not enough. Jinyoung sits up on his knees and uses them as leverage to rock his body against Jaebum’s, grinding down in the other boy’s lap. Jaebum pries Jinyoung’s lips off his, holding him away by the shoulders, and Jinyoung is about to weep before he hears Jaebum’s next words.
“Not here. My room.”
Jinyoung’s legs wrap around Jaebum’s waist as the other boy pushes himself to his feet, his hands on Jinyoung’s thighs - dangerously close to Jinyoung’s ass - to support his weight. After an almost mishap with getting Jaebum’s door open, the two of them are finally sinking into Jaebum’s mattress, arms still wrapped around each other. Kneeling over Jinyoung, Jaebum grinds his pelvis down into Jinyoung’s panting harshly into the other boy’s mouth.
“Wait, hang on,” Jinyoung pants, pushing up at Jaebum’s chest with one hand while he scrambles to get his pants unbuckled with the other. Jaebum gets the message; sitting up on his knees to rip off his shirt and kick off his pants. When they’re both down to their underwear, Jinyoung pulls him back down, moaning loudly as they have skin-to-skin contact at last. Jaebum slips a hand between their bodies, down Jinyoung’s boxer shorts, thumbing the slit of his erection before he vigorously pumps the shaft. Jinyoung’s eyes strain as they roll into the back of his head, his breath coming in short gasps as his body shudders and hot liquid splashes on his chest. Through the soft haze that fills his mind, Jinyoung registers the feeling of something hard and soft at the same time poking at his thigh through thin cotton.
“What about you?” he asks, his voice barely more than a breath.
“Can I try something?” Jaebum bites his lip.
“Yeah, sure,” Jinyoung nods, not even thinking to ask what it is.
Jaebum releases his lip, shucking his boxers off and lifting Jinyoung’s legs up so that his thighs are pressed together. Leaning over Jinyoung’s knees, Jaebum slides his cock between Jinyoung’s clenched thighs, starting high at first, but slowing moving down until his cock brushes Jinyoung’s balls with each slide. Jinyoung lifts his hand to hold his thighs together, nudging Jaebum’s away so the other boy can better brace himself on his hands and thrust with gusto. Jinyoung’s never tried anything like this before, but he can’t say he’s not enjoying himself. Above him Jaebum’s face is getting redder and redder, his face contorting beautifully as he’s consumed by pleasure. After a few more thrusts white liquid comes shooting out of Jaebum’s cock right as it’s peeking through Jinyoung’s thighs, running down Jinyoung’s abdomen to his chest to mix with the come that’s already starting to dry there. As Jaebum’s body shakes Jinyoung parts his thighs, allowing Jaebum to collapse on him, their chest sealed together by their bodily fluids.
“Wow,” Jaebum sighs in Jinyoung’s neck, his heart rate still elevated. Jinyoung cards a hand though the other boy’s sweaty locks as a kiss is dropped on his neck. The longer they wait to clean themselves off is the harder it will be to get the come off, but neither make any moves to get up, they just lie there, their fingers twining together as they listen to each other breathe.
“That was great and all, but I still want my ice cream,” Jinyoung says softly.
Jaebum’s body starts to shake as short puffs of breath tickle Jinyoung’s neck. “Oh shut up,” Jaebum smiles against his skin.
Later, when they’re in the shower together, Jinyoung asks Jaebum what he’s going to do while Jinyoung’s at university. Jinyoung feels like Jaebum could easily have made it into university as well if he wanted to, but for reasons he won’t say that’s not what he wants to do. Still, there’s got to be something he plans to do.
“I auditioned to be a back-up dancer for a hip-hop duo and was told that I passed the first stage; Yugyeom too.”
“That’s great, but when did this happen? This is the first time I’m hearing about this,” Jinyoung frowns.
“It was right around the time you were preparing to sit your exam. I didn’t want to distract you right when you had finally managed to strike the right balance,” Jaebum shrugs.
“But I wanted to support you the way you’ve supported me from day one,” Jinyoung pouts, splashing water into the other boy’s face.
“You still can,” Jaebum chuckles as he wipes his face. “I’ll be glad to have you cheering me on for the next stage of auditions,” he reaches out to hold Jinyoung’s hand. Jinyoung gives it a squeeze before he lifts it to his lips, dropping a kiss to Jaebum’s knuckles.
“I’ll be there,” he promises. Jaebum’s eyes disappear as he smiles.
[readers, don't forget to leave a comment! anonymous is on if you're shy.]