You Remembered [for nokchaa]
For: nokchaa
Title: You Remembered
Pairing(s)/focus: Mark/Jr.
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 6763
Warnings: [added by mod]implied/internalized homophobia
Author's notes: Hi, I’m sorry if this isn’t the greatest, but I hope you enjoy it!
Summary: Mark was popular. Jinyoung was not. One of them liked the other. What happens if you put them together?
“Hi Mark," two girls said in unison as they strolled passed Mark Tuan and one of his best friends, Jackson Wang. Mark smiled politely, making them giggle, and turned back to his locker.
“You were saying?” Jackson said, cocking an eyebrow.
Mark rolled his eyes. “Fine, okay, maybe I am a bit popular, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep bring it up! Besides, what’s so good about being popular?” He pulled his locker open and a pink envelope sealed with a heart shaped sticker fluttered out onto the ground.
Jackson immediately bent down to retrieve it and held it up, examining it with curiosity. “How many of these do you get per day?”
Mark sighed, taking it back from him. “Oh, shut up, Jackson. But for the record I get like 5.” Mark opened the envelope and quickly scanned the words, smiling a little as he went on. He sealed it again and placed it back onto his locker shelf. Grabbing his books for Math, he shut his locker and started walking.
“Seriously though, why don’t you ever say yes?” Jackson asked, falling into step beside the other boy. “Even the hottest girls at this school are trying to hook up with you.”
“I told you, I don’t want to date right now. I need to focus on school.”
“Hyung!” A voice cried at them. Jackson and Mark turned around and saw their other friends, BamBam and Yugyeom heading towards them.
The four of them, Mark, Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom, were the most popular group of guys in the school. All the girls fawned over them, especially Mark. Girls gave him the nickname ‘dim sum’, whatever the reason was.
“Hey guys.” Jackson said, adjusting the snapback sitting on his head.
“What do you have next?” BamBam asked, flattening his own hair.
“What do you mean? We’re in the same class, BamBam,” Mark reminded him.
BamBam slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah! I forgot. Sorry.”
“Wow hyung. Even I knew that.” Yugyeom shook his head as he flicked the back of BamBam’s head.
“Hey! You’re the maknae! You can’t hit your hyungs.” BamBam exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head.
Yugyeom laughed as someone caught Mark’s eye. It was Jinyoung, Jaebum and Youngjae, also in their Math class. The three of them simultaneously glanced in his direction and nodded their heads in acknowledgement, one of them friendlier than the others.
Jinyoung was one of Mark’s close friends’ years ago. They were so close that some girls would just call them ‘JinMark’, showing that they were more like brothers than best friends. But high school came, and Mark became the more popular one, sometimes unintentionally pushing Jinyoung into the shadows. Jinyoung never once complained, enjoying the small spotlight his best friend had gained him.
But one day, a particular incident occurred and now they were just known as Mark and Jinyoung with their own friends they had made over the years. Both were on good terms now, but just not the same as before.
“Mark? Are you coming or what?” Jackson said, waving his hand in front of Mark’s face.
“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m coming.” Mark said, catching up to his own friends.
~
Jinyoung and his two friends were already seated when Mark had arrived. Being the good student he was, Jinyoung was flipping through his notes, reviewing them before today’s lesson. Jaebum and Youngjae were engaged in a conversation, heads bent with their hand occasionally gesturing towards the other.
Mark and his friends took a seat near the back like they normally did, in the corner that was ‘reserved’ for them, if you will. Even the guys in the class stayed away.
Jackson sighed as he flopped down onto his desk, dropping his bag onto the chair. “Can we ditch? I didn’t do my homework.” He swung his legs in the air.
“Hyung, you never do your homework,” Yugyeom pointed out, brushing the eraser shavings off his desk the previous student had left behind.
“We are not ditching Math, Jackson. You know I’ll never allow that.” Mark glared at Jackson.
Jackson dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “I know, I know. No need to remind me.”
“But it’s totally not fair, hyung. I alwaysdo my homework and you’re still getting better than me!” BamBam complained, making a face.
Jackson smiled smugly as he tapped his head. “It’s all in the brains, BamBam, all in the brains. I was born smart. Well that, and the teacher loves me.”
Mark scoffed and shook his head at the three. How in the world did he become best friends with these three idiots? Especially Jackson, like seriously.
The door opened and the teacher came in, followed by an immediate trail of perfume with her high heels clacking along the way. “Everyone, quiet down please. I hope you all did your homework, because today we are having a quiz.”
A sea of groans floated through the classroom at the news of a pop quiz. “Quiet please!” rhe teacher exclaimed as she started to hand out the test papers. “You wouldn’t be complaining if you actually did your homework. For some of you, at least.” Her eyes instantly glanced at the usual people that don’t do their assignments. Jackson included.
Mark took out his pencil and eraser as the teacher gave him a paper with an encouraging smile.
“Okay, you may turn over your papers now. You have until the end of the period. Start!”
~
The bell rang, jerking Jackson out of his sleep. Mark looked sideways at him with an amused expression.
“You fell asleep? Again?” Mark questioned, gathering up his things.
“You think I was going to stay awake? It’s Math. Besides, I was done my test.”
Mark laughed. “’Done’ as in actually attempting to finish all the questions or your version of ‘done’, as in doing one problem and basically turning a math test into an art project?”
Jackson pointed accusingly at Mark. “Hey! I didn’t doodle today. And I did five questions. Five and a half to be exact.”
“Congratulations hyung,” Yugyeom said, “I’m mind blown.”
Jackson pushed Yugyeom lightly in front of him. “Shut up, Kim Yugyeom. It’s not like you can do any better.”
Mark poked Jackson on the shoulder hard, making him whip around and rub his shoulder with a pained expression. “Ow! What was that for?”
“Don’t tease him. It’s not nice.” Mark warned.
Just then, a girl with black hair that flowed down her shoulders stopped in front of them, looking down at her shoes nervously.
Mark was looking over his shoulder at his desk to check if he’d left anything behind when BamBam nudged him. He turned around, his eyes wandering but finally landed on the girl.
“Hi?” Mark said, flashing a small smile, making her blush. “Can I help you?”
“You-I mean he- I mean… I…” The girl stuttered and Mark chuckled.
“It’s okay, take your time. What is it?” Mark said reassuringly.
“Ah, I… was wondering if… you would like… to go out… with me…” She trailed off as she shyly held out two hands grasping a small box with a ribbon tied on the top.
“Oh, um…,” Mark smiled apologetically, “I’m really sorry, but right now is not the right time for me to have a girlfriend.”
“Oh, okay, um… that’s alright! Yeah, um…” The girl muttered, tears beginning to slowly gather in her eyes. “But please, take this.” She held out the box again.
Mark hesitated. “Um… it’s-”
Footsteps suddenly sounded and a pair of sneakers appeared beside the girl. Mark looked over her.
Jinyoung.
He gently took the box out of the girl’s outstretched hands, putting it into Mark’s. Mark, with no other choice, accepted it reluctantly. The girl didn’t say anything, just stood there, her eyes glued to the floor.
Jinyoung placed his hands lightly on the girl’s shoulders, glaring at Mark. “You shouldn’t make girls cry, you know. Rejecting them is enough, but you shouldn’t make them cry. You’ve rejected enough already, Mark. Stop making them upset. You’re supposed to be the one helping them.”
Mark opened his mouth to apologize again, but he couldn’t. Every word Jinyoung said was true and it stung him like a hot needle, and Mark hated it.
~
The black-haired boy took a seat beside Mark, the only vacant seat in the classroom. He was new, someone that had just transferred to his school with a dialect.
Mark greeted the new student politely and then he smiled back, his eyes crinkling and turned into crescent moons.
“I’m Jinyoung, Park Jinyoung.” He said, holding out his hand.
Mark took it. “I’m Mark.”
Mark hadn’t expected Jinyoung and him to become best friends, but after that day, they became inseparable. They were each other’s shoulder to cry on and lean on. They sat together during every lunch break, occasionally smiling at the girls surrounding them while in conversation.
Gradually Mark’s popularity increased, and friended people that Jinyoung was not familiar with. But being the nice person he was, Mark introduced Jinyoung to whoever he could, the more usual three being Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom.
“Wait, so you like her?” Jackson practically yelled, pausing the game.
Jackson, BamBam, Yugyeom and Jinyoung were over at Mark’s house. Jinyoung was watching a movie with Mark and the rest were playing video games. And arguing.
Yugyeom smacked him on the shoulder. “Shut up!”
“So you do? Yes or no?”
Yugyeom rolled his eyes. “Yes, Hyung. I like her. Happy?”
Jackson hooted. “Hell yeah. Kim Yugyeom has actually found someone he likes.”
BamBam threw the game remote at Jackson, earning him a glare. “Hyung, who cares? Do you have someone you like? Hm?”
Jackson threw the remote back at him. “Yes, I do. What about you, huh? You don’t right? Ha! I knew it.”
“I do.” BamBam muttered quietly.
Jackson paused mid-hyena laugh and gave him an incredulous look. “Wait what?”
BamBam huffed. “I said, I like someone.”
“Whoa, whoa, hold it! How come I didn’t know this? Did you know, Mark?”
Mark glanced up from the laptop he and Jinyoung were using. “Know what?”
“That these two idiots like someone?”
Mark turned his attention back to the movie but nodded.
“What?” Jackson burst out. “Mark knew but I didn’t? What is this?”
“Geez, they’re so annoying.” Mark said quietly to the boy beside him.
Jinyoung laughed. “It’s fine, I’m getting used to it. Besides, they’re your friends.”
Mark scoffed. “Just because they’re my friends doesn’t mean they’re not your friends.”
“I know, I know.”
The two continued to watch the movie and tried to ignore the yells and protests of the three other guys in the room.
Gradually Jinyoung became quieter and quieter while the movie progressed, practically turning mute when the guy finally confessed to the girl he loved.
Mark cast his eyes over to his side. “Jinyoung?”
Jinyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“I like you.”
~
“Hey! Mark! Earth to Mark Tuan!”
Mark blinked several times before focusing on the face in front of him.
“Jackson?”
“No, it’s Albert Einstein.” Jackson rolled his eyes. “Are you okay, man?”
Mark rubbed his temples. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Come on, the bell rang. Let’s get out of here.”
The bell had indeed gone already. Mark was at Jackson’s locker, waiting for him to grab his things.
“Do you want to hang? I don’t want to go home yet.” Jackson asked, flinging his backpack strap onto one shoulder as he and Mark walked out of the school doors.
“Sorry, Jackson. I kind of just want to go home and sleep.”
Jackson clapped his hand over his mouth in mock surprise. “Whoa! Mark Tuan, not doing homework and going straight to sleep? Did you hear that everybody?” Jackson exclaimed to the fake crowd around them, earning strange glances from the few people on the streets. Mark smiled apologetically at them as he dragged Jackson’s arm down the street.
~
The teacher clapped his hands and rubbed them together.
“So, we are going to have a project coming up. It’s a partner project-” As soon as he said that, some began to exchange secret glances with friends, some calling to each other across the room. “-but I’ll be the one assigning them.”
Groans and protests flooded the room as the teacher started to call out pairs.
“Soyeon, Taehyun.”
A sea of ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ started as the two class crushes were paired up. They both liked each other, but never had the courage to tell the other themselves, though their feelings were known practically throughout the school.
“Seungyoon, Chanyeol.”
The two best friends fist-bumped upon hearing the fact they were paired together.
“I hope you two will not disappoint me in this. Show me you can work well together without goofing off. Understand?”
“Yes, sir!” Chanyeol saluted in response, making the class chuckle and the teacher shake his head.
“Woohyun, Kibum.”
Woohyun and Kibum each let out a loud and obvious sigh. Everyone knew the two hated each other. This was not going to turn out well.
“BamBam, Yujin.”
BamBam turned around and grinned at Mark. Yujin was one of the most popular girls in the school. Everyone knew BamBam had a tiny crush on her, but he’d never admitted it. Yugyeom happened to be paired up with Sujin, Yujin’s twin sister which Yugyeom had a crush on.
“Jinyoung, Mark.”
Mark widened his eyes slightly as the two names rolled off of the teacher’s tongue. Surely there must be a mistake, right?
Mark tuned himself out as the teacher finished reading out the names. Maybe he could negotiate with the teacher? Mark sighed, taking out his phone and putting it behind his book so the teacher wouldn’t see it. Besides, the teacher was busy writing the instructions for the project on the board.
Mark scrolled through his contacts, look for Jinyoung, but couldn’t find anything. Damnit, Mark recalled, I deleted his number.
He sighed, sliding his phone back into his pocket as the teacher puts down the whiteboard pen and faced the class.
“Okay, so. Since I’ve already assigned partners, I want to you to move yourselves so that you’re sitting next to each other. You’ll stay like that until winter break. Understand?”
The scraping sound of chairs being pushed back echoed through the classroom as everyone found their new seats. Seeing Jinyoung beginning to get up, Mark quickly stood up and plopped himself down beside him.
“Everyone settled?” The teacher peered around the room as the final few people rushed to sit down. “We still have a few minutes left of class before lunch, so familiarize yourself with your partners if you’re not already and come up with three possible topics your project might be on. I want the topics by the end of class.”
Mark looked over to Jinyoung. “Hey.”
Jinyoung merely looked at Mark and muttered a quick greeting.
“So… do you have any ideas in mind? You’re the smart one here.” Mark asked, his voice light.
Jinyoung shook his head. “No. You can choose. I’m bad at Science. You know that.”
Mark though for a moment and wrote four words onto a scrap piece of paper.
Electricity, Radioactivity, Chemical Reactions.
The three things Jinyoung hated the most in Science.
Mark kept writing. Human Body, Genetics, Reproduction.
The only three topics in Science that Jinyoung was good at.
“You remembered?” Jinyoung said with a tone of surprise.
Mark nodded. “Of course I did, Jinyoung. We were friends for-”
The word ‘were’ hung between them as an awkward silence fell. Thankfully, the bell rang and Mark quickly scribbled out the first three.
“What? Why did you do that? Aren’t you bad at the other ones?”
Mark smiled. “See? You remembered too.”
Jinyoung blushed lightly as he hurriedly gathered up his belongings and practically ran out the room.
Mark chuckled and handed the paper to the teacher, catching up to BamBam and Yugyeom.
~
The doorbell rang and Jinyoung’s mother called up the stairs. “Jinyoung, dear! I think your partner is here!”
Jinyoung sighed. Why did he tell Mark to go to his house to work on the project? Why not the library?
He clambered down the stairs and unlocked the door.
“Hey.” Mark waved a hand.
“Come in.” Jinyoung said. “Let’s go to my room.”
Mark was about to head up the familiar stairs he had set foot on countless times in the past when a voice called out.
“Mark?”
Jinyoung closed his eyes and internally groaned. He forgot to tell his mother that his partner was Mark. Jinyoung’s mother knew everything that happened between the two and why.
Mark bowed his head. “Hello, Mrs. Park. How are you doing?”
She nodded and smiled warmly. “I’m good, thank you.”
Jinyoung’s mother did not blame Mark for what happened to her own son. She knew, at that age, people were teased for being… different. Different, she had always said to Jinyoung, being different is not a bad thing. Don’t pay attention to what others think of you.
She could tell at a young age that her son was different. Not like the other little boys at his kindergarten who would yell ‘girl cooties’, but instead sat there alone with his toy car, his eyes wandering.
“Well, good luck with your project.” Jinyoung’s mother said, pushing her hands into her apron pockets.
Mark followed Jinyoung up the stairs and into his room. Mark looked around. Nothing changed since the last time he was in there. Posters of famous hip-hop dancers were taped around the room, bed neat as usual, desk clattered with pens and paper.
“Sorry, it’s kind of messy right now.” Jinyoung said, stuffing the papers into random drawers.
Mark shook his head. “It’s the same. You haven’t changed your room a bit.”
Jinyoung fell silent at that and just continued on cleaning his desk. Mark stood there, watching the other boy and familiarized himself with his surroundings.
We would sit there for hours, just talking about life, Mark though, looking at the corner where Jinyoung liked to spend his free time reading, and that’s where we would compose songs for us to sing and perform in front of our families on Christmas Eve.
“Come on, let’s get to work.” Jinyoung said, pulling up another chair.
So they worked, and time flew by so quickly that they barely noticed. It was sort of like old times, just without the constant laughter and jokes. Both of them grew up, became more mature and put the past behind them.
Except one.
~
“Just tell him, hyung.” Jackson said in a serious tone.
Mark sighed. He had finally drew up the courage to tell Jackson that he liked Jinyoung. He didn’t know how Jackson would react, finding out that his best friend wasn’t straight, but Jackson acted like it wasn’t a big deal. Mark was grateful to him, knowing that if he told anyone else, they probably would have responded in a different way. Other than BamBam and Yugyeom of course.
“I can’t just go up to him and be like ‘Hey Jinyoung, I like you’,” Mark rubbed his temples. “I’ve rejected him before.”
Jackson held up a hand. “Wait, so he liked you before?”
“Yeah, remember that day when BamBam and Yugyeom finally told you that they liked someone? Then suddenly I yelled at Jinyoung to leave?”
Jackson tilted his as thought for a moment. “Oh yeah! That was pretty scary, though. You never yell.”
Mark closed his eyes, thinking back.
“I like you.”
Mark blinked. Did he just hear Jinyoung correctly?
“I like you.” Jinyoung repeated, this time his voice clearer.
Mark scrunched his eyebrows. “So… basically you’re saying you like me? When we’re both… guys?”
Jinyoung took a deep breath, knowing this was headed for the worst. “Yes, Mark. I like you and I know we are both guys but I still like you, okay?”
Suddenly Mark jumped up, paying no attention to his laptop, which fell on the floor with a clatter.
“Get out.” Mark said, coldly.
Jinyoung’s normally cheerful eyes slowly filled up with tears. “Please, Mark. Please just listen to me.”
“What’s going on?” Jackson walked over. BamBam and Yugyeom stayed put on the couch, knowing not to interfere but faces still showed concern.
“Mark, please.” Jinyoung pleaded. “Can’t you just try and listen?”
Mark shook his head, a glare forming in his eyes. “No. Get out, Park Jinyoung.” Jinyoung cowered back at this, afraid. Mark never showed intense emotion like this before and it was scary to be the one those eyes were directed on.
Jackson looked at Mark and then at Jinyoung. “Um, guys? Can you please tell me what the hell is going on right now?”
Mark pushed Jackson away, none too gently and pulled Jinyoung up by the arm. “Did you not hear me, Park Jinyoung?”
The tears that had welled up in Jinyoung’s eyes slowly fell down his face as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, hastily wiping the teardrops away with his sleeve.
He did not look back again.
~
Mark shook his head to wake himself up from the past.
“Hyung, just tell him.” Jackson said again, throwing his hands up.
Mark groaned as he ran his hand through his hair. “How? How can I after all these years? I was so mean and selfish that day.”
“Look,” Jackson said. “You can tell him, Hyung. You like him, right? Then tell him your feelings. I’m 99% sure he still likes you.”
Mark looked up, his face full of surprise. “What did you say?”
“He likes you, Mark. I’m sure of it. But I think he’s denying his true feelings because he doesn’t want to get hurt again.”
So that’s how badly I hurt him back then, Mark thought, guilt and pain washed over him like a never-ending wave. “No way, he can’t still like me. I hurt him so much back then… there’s no way he still likes me.”
Jackson huffed. “Whatever! That’s my own opinion, but if it makes you feel any better, I think the two guys that hang with Jinyoung are together, too. Jaebum and… Youngjae? Yeah.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “How in the world is that supposed to make me feel any better, Jackson?”
Jackson shrugged his shoulder excessively. “I don’t know! Like being gay is nothing to be ashamed of?”
Mark let out a small laugh. “Gee, thanks Jackson. I appreciate it.”
Jackson clapped Mark on the shoulder, glad to have his friend back. “Anytime, Mark. Anytime.”
~
A week later, Mark found himself again in Jinyoung’s room, working on their project. I should tell him, Mark thought as he stuck the piece of paper onto the poster board, there probably will never be another chance.
Mark took a deep breath. “Jinyoung.”
Jinyoung looked up from the laptop where he was typing up his and Mark’s presentation. “Yeah?”
Mark didn’t know why, but a sudden rush of adrenaline pumped through his veins and his lips were on Jinyoung’s.
Jinyoung’s eyes widened and he quickly pulled away, standing up from the ground. “What the hell, Mark?”
Mark cursed under his breath, face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I…”
Jinyoung just stared at the boy on the floor, the person that he was friends with for almost half of his life, the person he trusted the most in the world, even more than his parents. “Mark?”
“I’m sorry, Jinyoung, but…” Mark trailed off. “I think I like you.”
Jinyoung just stood there, not knowing what to do.
Mark continued on. “It’s okay if you hate me after this. Hate me all you want, I might actually feel better about myself. But I just needed to tell you. I’m sorry for hurting you when you told me a long time ago. I was stupid, and immature for not realizing my true feelings too.”
“That day, when you told you liked me, I was just confused. I didn’t know what to do because it was so sudden. I was an idiot for shutting you out from my life. I might not show it, but after that day, I was hurting too. And I am still now.”
Jinyoung closed his eyes and thought back to that time when he was pulled up by Mark and being told to get out. It was painful, but for some reason, this caused more pain.
“Jinyoung?” Mark asked tentatively, “Are you okay?”
Jinyoung slowly nodded and opened his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mark.”
Mark bit his lip, knowing that this wasn’t going as well as he had hoped.
Jinyoung took one look at the other boy’s face and quickly added. “I’m not saying no. I’m just… just can you give me some time to think?”
A spark of hope emitted inside Mark and he nodded. He grabbed his things and left Jinyoung’s house, praying that he was okay.
~
“Sooo?” Jackson exclaimed, screeching to a stop at Mark’s locker, “Did you tell him?”
Mark shook his head in disbelief at Jackson’s eagerness. “Yes I did, Jackson. Now will you please shut the hell up?”
Jackson laughed his infamous hyena laugh and did a little victory dance around Mark. “Yes! I can die happy now.”
Mark laughed. “What?”
Jackson stopped and turned serious. “I’m not kidding. Now that my best friend has finally confessed and is somewhat happy, I have nothing to worry about.”
“Aw, should I be flattered?”
Jackson jabbed his finger onto Mark’s chest. “Yes, you most definitely should!”
Mark rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Wang.”
“Anyways, what did he say?” Jackson asked, leaning against the lockers.
Mark sighed. “He said to give him some time to think.”
Jackson furrowed his eyebrows. “Ouch. What’s that supposed to mean?”
“How am I supposed to know?” Mark said, shutting his locker. “You have more experience in this stuff.”
Jackson held up his hands in defense. “True. But!” He waited dramatically. “I never get rejected.”
“Oh my god, Jackson.” Mark replied, and walked away from Jackson to his class.
Jackson snickered and trotted after Mark, throwing his arm around Mark’s shoulders playfully.
As they rounded the corner, a boy emerged from behind the wall. He drew something from his pocket and slid it into one of the lockers. He stood there for a few seconds then walked away.
~
BamBam, Mark and Jackson came out of the classroom, shoving each other around. It was finally lunch time and the halls were crowded with students, eager to get out of their classes.
Yugyeom caught up to them and exclaimed, “Okay, you cannot believe what just happened.”
Jackson rolled his eyes at the maknae. “I won’t believe anything unless you tell me that the love of your life asked you out.”
Yugyeom’s mouth fell open. “Wait, did someone tell you already? How did you know?”
Jackson blinked. “So… Sujin… asked you out?”
Yugyeom nodded slowly, a faint blush starting to appear on his cheeks.
BamBam clapped his hands as Jackson hollered. “Oh my god, I can’t believe it.”
Mark patted Yugyeom on the shoulder. “Congrats, man.”
Yugyeom smiled at the others as they headed towards the cafeteria.
Mark halted to a stop. “Wait, guys. I have to grab something at my locker.”
“Ugh, can’t you get your books after lunch?” Jackson complained.
“No, Jackson. After being late that time, no way.” Mark answered. “Besides, I’m not even that hungry, so you guys go.”
“Are you sure, hyung?” BamBam asked, concerned, “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been looking too great recently.”
Mark ruffled BamBam’s hair reassuringly. “I’m fine, Bam. Don’t worry, alright?”
BamBam hesitated. “If you say so…”
Jackson grabbed BamBam’s sleeve and half-dragged him along with Yugyeom, exchanging a quick all-knowing look with Mark. Mark nodded and walked the other way.
Pausing at his locker, Mark stared at the pale yellow door. Where is he? He thought, I haven’t seen him at all today…
He sighed, pulling his locker door open and spotted a folded-up piece of paper. Weird, Mark scrunched his eyebrows, it wasn’t there before.
Curiosity getting the best of him, Mark picked it up and opened it, flattening out the creases one by one.
Meet me after school at the place we’d always go when we were children.
Mark looked up, thinking. It must be Jinyoung. Who else would it be?
But the place they’d always go to when they were children? There could be only one place.
When they used to be children, their parents would always have dinner gatherings every weekend. Because they were bored, Jinyoung’s older sisters always took them to the playground behind their houses.
It was Mark and Jinyoung’s favourite place to play. Even when they got older, they would still just go and sit on the swings and talk.
The bell rang, cutting through his thoughts as students poured once again into the halls hurrying to their next class, Mark among them.
~
Mark sat in his seat, staring at the clock as each second slowly ticked by. He fidgeted with his pencil as he let out a deep breath. Yugyeom looked over at the boy beside him.
“Hyung,” Yugyeom asked. “You okay?”
Mark blinked. “Hm? Oh yeah, I’m good.”
The teacher tapped the board. “Yugyeom, Mark? Pay attention please.”
“Sorry.” Yugyeom apologized immediately.
Mark sighed as he looked at the clock again. Two more minutes. He began to clear up his things and zipped up his backpack. Right when the first ring of the bell sounded through the school, Mark bolted out of seat and out the door.
“What’s wrong with Mark hyung?” BamBam asked Yugyeom as he came up behind him, hitching his bag higher up his arm.
Yugyeom shrugged. “I don’t know. Let’s just ask Jackson hyung later.”
As soon as Mark burst through the main doors, he ran down the street, heading towards the playground with Jinyoung’s note clenched in his fist.
When the top of the swing set came into view, Mark slowed down. Panting, he looked around, trying to find Jinyoung. When he failed he sat down onto one of the swings, pushing himself while waiting patiently.
Then suddenly, the sound of leaves crunching appeared and Jinyoung settled down in the swing beside Mark.
“Hey,” Jinyoung said quietly.
“Hey,” Mark replied, “Where were you today?”
Jinyoung shuffled his feet. “I wasn’t feeling well.”
“Oh, okay. But are you feeling better?” Mark asked, finally looking over to his left.
“Yeah, I’m better.”
“That’s good,” Mark said. “So… why did you want to meet here?”
Jinyoung took a deep breath. “Because I wanted to give you my answer.”
~
“Because I wanted to give you my answer.”
So this was about Mark’s confession.
“So…” Mark asked.
“Yes.”
Mark blinked, frozen. What did he just say?
“I accept your feelings and I want to return mine.” Jinyoung repeated, sneaking a look at the boy beside him. “If you’re okay with it, I mean.”
Finally Mark cracked a smile and sighed with relief. “Thank you, Jinyoung. I mean it.”
Jinyoung blushed slightly and smiled as well.
His movements hesitant, Mark reached over and clasped Jinyoung’s hand. He squeezed it gently and Jinyoung did it back.
Then they both looked forward at the playground in front of them, reminiscing the past of them running around the monkey bars as they played tag.
But now it was different again.
~
Time passed quickly, and before they knew it, it was Christmas season already. Storekeepers hung lights of red and green and many other colours along their windows. Others opted for festive drawings on the glass and placed miniature trees by the door. Light white powder dusted the sidewalks, more falling from the sky.
Jinyoung was at Mark’s house, playing video games in the basement. It was the first day of winter break and they didn’t want any time to go to waste.
“Hey! You killed me, Mark.” Jinyoung exclaimed as his side of the TV screen shone ‘GAME OVER’.
Mark smirked. “Sorry.”
Jinyoung pouted at Mark and the latter laughed. Mark scooted closer to Jinyoung and put his arm over him. “I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do it again.”
He blushed, not used to the relationship he and Mark had just yet. But he enjoyed it nevertheless, tilting his head so it could rest on Mark’s shoulder. Jinyoung closed his eyes and smiled in content.
Mark stared down at Jinyoung’s forehead and after a thought, leaned down and kissed it quickly. Jinyoung shot up quickly as Mark laughed again. He smacked Mark on the arm and looked away.
“What? I can’t even kiss you?” Mark asked as Jinyoung rubbed his forehead.
Jinyoung scrunched his eyebrows. “No, just…”
Mark cocked his head and merely looked at him. “Huh? What?”
“Never mind.” Jinyoung huffed, picking up his game remote. “Are we still playing?”
Mark chuckled. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’ll stop teasing you. Happy?”
Jinyoung waited for a bit but shook his head, a frown still upon his face. “No.”
“Then what do you want me to do?” Mark asked, puzzled.
Jinyoung fidgeted with the game remote and refused to look at Mark. “Kiss.”
Mark internally ‘awed’, and crawled over to him. He put his hands on Jinyoung’s face and placed his lips on Jinyoung’s. Jinyoung automatically leaned into it, and the kiss developed into a deeper and more passionate one. It was if all the words, feelings and actions from previous years that were not delivered were pouring out through this one kiss.
Mark locked his arms around Jinyoung’s neck as Jinyoung shyly wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist. Slowly but surely, Mark leaned further and they ended up on the ground with Jinyoung underneath Mark.
Mark broke the contact between them and grinned down at Jinyoung, whose face was flushed and lips more pink than normal. Jinyoung smiled back and slid his hand
into Mark’s hair, letting each strand fall in between his fingers.
Mark pecked Jinyoung’s lips once again before letting himself up, pulling Jinyoung with him. “Come on,” Mark said, “let’s play.”
Mark handed Jinyoung his remote and he snuggled close to Mark, his eyes fixed on the screen. “Do we have to?” Jinyoung asked. “I’m sleepy.”
Mark laughed. “To be honest, same here.” He flipped off the TV and took the blanket off the couch and covered themselves with it.
Jinyoung closed his eyes and fell asleep right away, his breathing even. Mark just stared at him, brushing the hair out of his eyes.
Sleep slowly took over Mark and he fell into a deep slumber, his head on Jinyoung’s head with their hands clasped tightly together, and never letting go.
~
“Merry Christmas!” Mark exclaimed as he opened the door.
Jackson, BamBam, Yugyeom were on the doorstep of Mark’s house. Behind them stood Jinyoung and surprisingly, Youngjae and Jaebum.
Mark had told Jinyoung to invite them over for his Christmas party he had every year with his friends and family. He had doubted that they would come, since before they knew that Jinyoung and Mark weren’t on the best terms, but they’d agreed almost immediately.
The six boys filed into the house and Mark closed the door.
Mark’s mom trotted into the living room, a big smile plastered on her face. “Mark! So these are your friends?”
Mark nodded and introduced each of them. “Well, you know these three,” Mark gestured towards Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom. “And this is Youngjae, Jaebum and Jinyoung.”
All six of them greeted Mark’s mother and she smiled brightly. “Aw, you guys are so polite and adorable.” She winked as Jaebum stepped forward.
“Mrs. Tuan? These are for you.” He held up his gift bag and indicated to the others, who also had bags in their hands.
“You shouldn’t have!” Mark’s mother exclaimed as she accepted them. “Thank you so much!”
Jaebum shook his head. “It’s our pleasure. And thank you for inviting us over. Also, our families are on their way, if you were wondering.”
She laughed loudly. “I was actually, now that you mention it. Hopefully they’ll arrive soon! And no need to thank me. You’re all Mark’s friends so of course you’d be invited. Besides,” She glanced at Mark. “He kept bothering me about inviting all of you.”
Mark widened his eyes. “Say, mom, don’t you need to go prepare the food?” he said as he pushed her to the kitchen. He came back and shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Sorry, she’s always like that. Anyways, you can put your jackets here.”
Mark took his friends downstairs to the basement as they waited for the other guests to arrive. Not soon after, the doorbell rang and the house filled with cries of delight of friends reuniting and introductions of newly met people.
“Mark!” His father called down the stairs to where Mark and his friends were at. “Time to eat!”
Mark got up and brushed his jeans. “Come on, guys. My mom may seem cheerful and all, but when it comes to food, she means business. She hates it when people are late for meals.”
Jackson nodded in agreement. “It’s true. I’ve seen it happen. It was so funny to watch, actually. Mark got-”
Mark clapped his hand over Jackson’s mouth. “Shut up, Wang. And let’s go.”
“What happened to Mark?” Jinyoung asked, his eyes curious.
Jackson snickered. “I’ll tell you later, when Mark’s not around. It’s hilarious.”
Mark glared at Jackson. “You better not, or else I’ll kick you out.”
BamBam came up behind them. “Don’t risk it, hyung. Mark’s kicks hurt like sh-”
“Hey! No swearing!” Jaebum suddenly yelled.
BamBam looked surprised but shut his mouth. Yugyeom sniggered and BamBam flicked his forehead while no one was looking.
They walked into the dining room and sat down at the table. It was filled with food down to every corner of the tablecloth so that no white space was visible. Plates of food were placed around the big turkey that was sitting in the middle.
“Help yourself, everyone!” Mark’s mom exclaimed. “There’s plenty more. But save room for dessert!”
Empty plates were passed around as clinks of cutlery filled the kitchen. Gradually, the food was disappearing and dessert took their places. There were so many different desserts that no one knew which one to start with. Gingerbread, Sugar cookies, Pies, Cakes, Pudding and much more now covered the table.
Time passed and now everyone sat in the living room to talk and catch up with each other. But most importantly, gift exchanges.
Presents were handed out according to the names written on the tags and the floor was starting to be littered with wrapping paper. The seven of them headed once again to the basement to hand out their own gifts. Mark and Jinyoung exchanged their gifts and opened it at the same time.
Jinyoung gasped as he looked at what Mark had gotten him. It was the entire copy of the books series he had loved from when they were still friends. It was still his favourite series now.
“You remembered?” Jinyoung said, flipping through the pages of one of them.
“Of course I did. You’d carry at least one book of that series around every time we saw each other.”
Mark now looked at his own gift. It was a photo album.
But not any photo album. It was their own. Jinyoung seemed to have gathered all their pictures from their childhood together and put them in order, with little notes written on the back of them.
“There’s still some empty space left,” Jinyoung said, flipping to the empty pages near the back. “Let’s fill it up with our own memories in the future.”
Mark smiled, warning himself not to shed tears in front of his friends, and most importantly, Jinyoung.
“Thank you, Jinyoung.” Mark said, breathless.
“You’re welcome.” Jinyoung answered, taking Mark’s hand and he interlocked their fingers together.
Mark leaned over to whisper in Jinyoung’s ear.
“I won’t say it right now because I know you don’t like it when there are other people around.”
Jinyoung was confused for a moment. Then it clicked in his brain. “You remembered?”
Mark nodded. “Of course. How could I not?”
No matter how hard Mark wanted to, he never said those words to Jinyoung in front of others. Even after a month, two months, a year, he never did. They didn’t have to, because the words ‘you remembered’ was enough to show how close they were to remember such small details from so long ago.
It became their…
I love yous.
~~~
[readers, don't forget to leave a comment! anonymous is on if you're shy.]
Title: You Remembered
Pairing(s)/focus: Mark/Jr.
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 6763
Warnings: [added by mod]implied/internalized homophobia
Author's notes: Hi, I’m sorry if this isn’t the greatest, but I hope you enjoy it!
Summary: Mark was popular. Jinyoung was not. One of them liked the other. What happens if you put them together?
“Hi Mark," two girls said in unison as they strolled passed Mark Tuan and one of his best friends, Jackson Wang. Mark smiled politely, making them giggle, and turned back to his locker.
“You were saying?” Jackson said, cocking an eyebrow.
Mark rolled his eyes. “Fine, okay, maybe I am a bit popular, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep bring it up! Besides, what’s so good about being popular?” He pulled his locker open and a pink envelope sealed with a heart shaped sticker fluttered out onto the ground.
Jackson immediately bent down to retrieve it and held it up, examining it with curiosity. “How many of these do you get per day?”
Mark sighed, taking it back from him. “Oh, shut up, Jackson. But for the record I get like 5.” Mark opened the envelope and quickly scanned the words, smiling a little as he went on. He sealed it again and placed it back onto his locker shelf. Grabbing his books for Math, he shut his locker and started walking.
“Seriously though, why don’t you ever say yes?” Jackson asked, falling into step beside the other boy. “Even the hottest girls at this school are trying to hook up with you.”
“I told you, I don’t want to date right now. I need to focus on school.”
“Hyung!” A voice cried at them. Jackson and Mark turned around and saw their other friends, BamBam and Yugyeom heading towards them.
The four of them, Mark, Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom, were the most popular group of guys in the school. All the girls fawned over them, especially Mark. Girls gave him the nickname ‘dim sum’, whatever the reason was.
“Hey guys.” Jackson said, adjusting the snapback sitting on his head.
“What do you have next?” BamBam asked, flattening his own hair.
“What do you mean? We’re in the same class, BamBam,” Mark reminded him.
BamBam slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah! I forgot. Sorry.”
“Wow hyung. Even I knew that.” Yugyeom shook his head as he flicked the back of BamBam’s head.
“Hey! You’re the maknae! You can’t hit your hyungs.” BamBam exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head.
Yugyeom laughed as someone caught Mark’s eye. It was Jinyoung, Jaebum and Youngjae, also in their Math class. The three of them simultaneously glanced in his direction and nodded their heads in acknowledgement, one of them friendlier than the others.
Jinyoung was one of Mark’s close friends’ years ago. They were so close that some girls would just call them ‘JinMark’, showing that they were more like brothers than best friends. But high school came, and Mark became the more popular one, sometimes unintentionally pushing Jinyoung into the shadows. Jinyoung never once complained, enjoying the small spotlight his best friend had gained him.
But one day, a particular incident occurred and now they were just known as Mark and Jinyoung with their own friends they had made over the years. Both were on good terms now, but just not the same as before.
“Mark? Are you coming or what?” Jackson said, waving his hand in front of Mark’s face.
“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m coming.” Mark said, catching up to his own friends.
~
Jinyoung and his two friends were already seated when Mark had arrived. Being the good student he was, Jinyoung was flipping through his notes, reviewing them before today’s lesson. Jaebum and Youngjae were engaged in a conversation, heads bent with their hand occasionally gesturing towards the other.
Mark and his friends took a seat near the back like they normally did, in the corner that was ‘reserved’ for them, if you will. Even the guys in the class stayed away.
Jackson sighed as he flopped down onto his desk, dropping his bag onto the chair. “Can we ditch? I didn’t do my homework.” He swung his legs in the air.
“Hyung, you never do your homework,” Yugyeom pointed out, brushing the eraser shavings off his desk the previous student had left behind.
“We are not ditching Math, Jackson. You know I’ll never allow that.” Mark glared at Jackson.
Jackson dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “I know, I know. No need to remind me.”
“But it’s totally not fair, hyung. I alwaysdo my homework and you’re still getting better than me!” BamBam complained, making a face.
Jackson smiled smugly as he tapped his head. “It’s all in the brains, BamBam, all in the brains. I was born smart. Well that, and the teacher loves me.”
Mark scoffed and shook his head at the three. How in the world did he become best friends with these three idiots? Especially Jackson, like seriously.
The door opened and the teacher came in, followed by an immediate trail of perfume with her high heels clacking along the way. “Everyone, quiet down please. I hope you all did your homework, because today we are having a quiz.”
A sea of groans floated through the classroom at the news of a pop quiz. “Quiet please!” rhe teacher exclaimed as she started to hand out the test papers. “You wouldn’t be complaining if you actually did your homework. For some of you, at least.” Her eyes instantly glanced at the usual people that don’t do their assignments. Jackson included.
Mark took out his pencil and eraser as the teacher gave him a paper with an encouraging smile.
“Okay, you may turn over your papers now. You have until the end of the period. Start!”
~
The bell rang, jerking Jackson out of his sleep. Mark looked sideways at him with an amused expression.
“You fell asleep? Again?” Mark questioned, gathering up his things.
“You think I was going to stay awake? It’s Math. Besides, I was done my test.”
Mark laughed. “’Done’ as in actually attempting to finish all the questions or your version of ‘done’, as in doing one problem and basically turning a math test into an art project?”
Jackson pointed accusingly at Mark. “Hey! I didn’t doodle today. And I did five questions. Five and a half to be exact.”
“Congratulations hyung,” Yugyeom said, “I’m mind blown.”
Jackson pushed Yugyeom lightly in front of him. “Shut up, Kim Yugyeom. It’s not like you can do any better.”
Mark poked Jackson on the shoulder hard, making him whip around and rub his shoulder with a pained expression. “Ow! What was that for?”
“Don’t tease him. It’s not nice.” Mark warned.
Just then, a girl with black hair that flowed down her shoulders stopped in front of them, looking down at her shoes nervously.
Mark was looking over his shoulder at his desk to check if he’d left anything behind when BamBam nudged him. He turned around, his eyes wandering but finally landed on the girl.
“Hi?” Mark said, flashing a small smile, making her blush. “Can I help you?”
“You-I mean he- I mean… I…” The girl stuttered and Mark chuckled.
“It’s okay, take your time. What is it?” Mark said reassuringly.
“Ah, I… was wondering if… you would like… to go out… with me…” She trailed off as she shyly held out two hands grasping a small box with a ribbon tied on the top.
“Oh, um…,” Mark smiled apologetically, “I’m really sorry, but right now is not the right time for me to have a girlfriend.”
“Oh, okay, um… that’s alright! Yeah, um…” The girl muttered, tears beginning to slowly gather in her eyes. “But please, take this.” She held out the box again.
Mark hesitated. “Um… it’s-”
Footsteps suddenly sounded and a pair of sneakers appeared beside the girl. Mark looked over her.
Jinyoung.
He gently took the box out of the girl’s outstretched hands, putting it into Mark’s. Mark, with no other choice, accepted it reluctantly. The girl didn’t say anything, just stood there, her eyes glued to the floor.
Jinyoung placed his hands lightly on the girl’s shoulders, glaring at Mark. “You shouldn’t make girls cry, you know. Rejecting them is enough, but you shouldn’t make them cry. You’ve rejected enough already, Mark. Stop making them upset. You’re supposed to be the one helping them.”
Mark opened his mouth to apologize again, but he couldn’t. Every word Jinyoung said was true and it stung him like a hot needle, and Mark hated it.
~
The black-haired boy took a seat beside Mark, the only vacant seat in the classroom. He was new, someone that had just transferred to his school with a dialect.
Mark greeted the new student politely and then he smiled back, his eyes crinkling and turned into crescent moons.
“I’m Jinyoung, Park Jinyoung.” He said, holding out his hand.
Mark took it. “I’m Mark.”
Mark hadn’t expected Jinyoung and him to become best friends, but after that day, they became inseparable. They were each other’s shoulder to cry on and lean on. They sat together during every lunch break, occasionally smiling at the girls surrounding them while in conversation.
Gradually Mark’s popularity increased, and friended people that Jinyoung was not familiar with. But being the nice person he was, Mark introduced Jinyoung to whoever he could, the more usual three being Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom.
“Wait, so you like her?” Jackson practically yelled, pausing the game.
Jackson, BamBam, Yugyeom and Jinyoung were over at Mark’s house. Jinyoung was watching a movie with Mark and the rest were playing video games. And arguing.
Yugyeom smacked him on the shoulder. “Shut up!”
“So you do? Yes or no?”
Yugyeom rolled his eyes. “Yes, Hyung. I like her. Happy?”
Jackson hooted. “Hell yeah. Kim Yugyeom has actually found someone he likes.”
BamBam threw the game remote at Jackson, earning him a glare. “Hyung, who cares? Do you have someone you like? Hm?”
Jackson threw the remote back at him. “Yes, I do. What about you, huh? You don’t right? Ha! I knew it.”
“I do.” BamBam muttered quietly.
Jackson paused mid-hyena laugh and gave him an incredulous look. “Wait what?”
BamBam huffed. “I said, I like someone.”
“Whoa, whoa, hold it! How come I didn’t know this? Did you know, Mark?”
Mark glanced up from the laptop he and Jinyoung were using. “Know what?”
“That these two idiots like someone?”
Mark turned his attention back to the movie but nodded.
“What?” Jackson burst out. “Mark knew but I didn’t? What is this?”
“Geez, they’re so annoying.” Mark said quietly to the boy beside him.
Jinyoung laughed. “It’s fine, I’m getting used to it. Besides, they’re your friends.”
Mark scoffed. “Just because they’re my friends doesn’t mean they’re not your friends.”
“I know, I know.”
The two continued to watch the movie and tried to ignore the yells and protests of the three other guys in the room.
Gradually Jinyoung became quieter and quieter while the movie progressed, practically turning mute when the guy finally confessed to the girl he loved.
Mark cast his eyes over to his side. “Jinyoung?”
Jinyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“I like you.”
~
“Hey! Mark! Earth to Mark Tuan!”
Mark blinked several times before focusing on the face in front of him.
“Jackson?”
“No, it’s Albert Einstein.” Jackson rolled his eyes. “Are you okay, man?”
Mark rubbed his temples. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Come on, the bell rang. Let’s get out of here.”
The bell had indeed gone already. Mark was at Jackson’s locker, waiting for him to grab his things.
“Do you want to hang? I don’t want to go home yet.” Jackson asked, flinging his backpack strap onto one shoulder as he and Mark walked out of the school doors.
“Sorry, Jackson. I kind of just want to go home and sleep.”
Jackson clapped his hand over his mouth in mock surprise. “Whoa! Mark Tuan, not doing homework and going straight to sleep? Did you hear that everybody?” Jackson exclaimed to the fake crowd around them, earning strange glances from the few people on the streets. Mark smiled apologetically at them as he dragged Jackson’s arm down the street.
~
The teacher clapped his hands and rubbed them together.
“So, we are going to have a project coming up. It’s a partner project-” As soon as he said that, some began to exchange secret glances with friends, some calling to each other across the room. “-but I’ll be the one assigning them.”
Groans and protests flooded the room as the teacher started to call out pairs.
“Soyeon, Taehyun.”
A sea of ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ started as the two class crushes were paired up. They both liked each other, but never had the courage to tell the other themselves, though their feelings were known practically throughout the school.
“Seungyoon, Chanyeol.”
The two best friends fist-bumped upon hearing the fact they were paired together.
“I hope you two will not disappoint me in this. Show me you can work well together without goofing off. Understand?”
“Yes, sir!” Chanyeol saluted in response, making the class chuckle and the teacher shake his head.
“Woohyun, Kibum.”
Woohyun and Kibum each let out a loud and obvious sigh. Everyone knew the two hated each other. This was not going to turn out well.
“BamBam, Yujin.”
BamBam turned around and grinned at Mark. Yujin was one of the most popular girls in the school. Everyone knew BamBam had a tiny crush on her, but he’d never admitted it. Yugyeom happened to be paired up with Sujin, Yujin’s twin sister which Yugyeom had a crush on.
“Jinyoung, Mark.”
Mark widened his eyes slightly as the two names rolled off of the teacher’s tongue. Surely there must be a mistake, right?
Mark tuned himself out as the teacher finished reading out the names. Maybe he could negotiate with the teacher? Mark sighed, taking out his phone and putting it behind his book so the teacher wouldn’t see it. Besides, the teacher was busy writing the instructions for the project on the board.
Mark scrolled through his contacts, look for Jinyoung, but couldn’t find anything. Damnit, Mark recalled, I deleted his number.
He sighed, sliding his phone back into his pocket as the teacher puts down the whiteboard pen and faced the class.
“Okay, so. Since I’ve already assigned partners, I want to you to move yourselves so that you’re sitting next to each other. You’ll stay like that until winter break. Understand?”
The scraping sound of chairs being pushed back echoed through the classroom as everyone found their new seats. Seeing Jinyoung beginning to get up, Mark quickly stood up and plopped himself down beside him.
“Everyone settled?” The teacher peered around the room as the final few people rushed to sit down. “We still have a few minutes left of class before lunch, so familiarize yourself with your partners if you’re not already and come up with three possible topics your project might be on. I want the topics by the end of class.”
Mark looked over to Jinyoung. “Hey.”
Jinyoung merely looked at Mark and muttered a quick greeting.
“So… do you have any ideas in mind? You’re the smart one here.” Mark asked, his voice light.
Jinyoung shook his head. “No. You can choose. I’m bad at Science. You know that.”
Mark though for a moment and wrote four words onto a scrap piece of paper.
Electricity, Radioactivity, Chemical Reactions.
The three things Jinyoung hated the most in Science.
Mark kept writing. Human Body, Genetics, Reproduction.
The only three topics in Science that Jinyoung was good at.
“You remembered?” Jinyoung said with a tone of surprise.
Mark nodded. “Of course I did, Jinyoung. We were friends for-”
The word ‘were’ hung between them as an awkward silence fell. Thankfully, the bell rang and Mark quickly scribbled out the first three.
“What? Why did you do that? Aren’t you bad at the other ones?”
Mark smiled. “See? You remembered too.”
Jinyoung blushed lightly as he hurriedly gathered up his belongings and practically ran out the room.
Mark chuckled and handed the paper to the teacher, catching up to BamBam and Yugyeom.
~
The doorbell rang and Jinyoung’s mother called up the stairs. “Jinyoung, dear! I think your partner is here!”
Jinyoung sighed. Why did he tell Mark to go to his house to work on the project? Why not the library?
He clambered down the stairs and unlocked the door.
“Hey.” Mark waved a hand.
“Come in.” Jinyoung said. “Let’s go to my room.”
Mark was about to head up the familiar stairs he had set foot on countless times in the past when a voice called out.
“Mark?”
Jinyoung closed his eyes and internally groaned. He forgot to tell his mother that his partner was Mark. Jinyoung’s mother knew everything that happened between the two and why.
Mark bowed his head. “Hello, Mrs. Park. How are you doing?”
She nodded and smiled warmly. “I’m good, thank you.”
Jinyoung’s mother did not blame Mark for what happened to her own son. She knew, at that age, people were teased for being… different. Different, she had always said to Jinyoung, being different is not a bad thing. Don’t pay attention to what others think of you.
She could tell at a young age that her son was different. Not like the other little boys at his kindergarten who would yell ‘girl cooties’, but instead sat there alone with his toy car, his eyes wandering.
“Well, good luck with your project.” Jinyoung’s mother said, pushing her hands into her apron pockets.
Mark followed Jinyoung up the stairs and into his room. Mark looked around. Nothing changed since the last time he was in there. Posters of famous hip-hop dancers were taped around the room, bed neat as usual, desk clattered with pens and paper.
“Sorry, it’s kind of messy right now.” Jinyoung said, stuffing the papers into random drawers.
Mark shook his head. “It’s the same. You haven’t changed your room a bit.”
Jinyoung fell silent at that and just continued on cleaning his desk. Mark stood there, watching the other boy and familiarized himself with his surroundings.
We would sit there for hours, just talking about life, Mark though, looking at the corner where Jinyoung liked to spend his free time reading, and that’s where we would compose songs for us to sing and perform in front of our families on Christmas Eve.
“Come on, let’s get to work.” Jinyoung said, pulling up another chair.
So they worked, and time flew by so quickly that they barely noticed. It was sort of like old times, just without the constant laughter and jokes. Both of them grew up, became more mature and put the past behind them.
Except one.
~
“Just tell him, hyung.” Jackson said in a serious tone.
Mark sighed. He had finally drew up the courage to tell Jackson that he liked Jinyoung. He didn’t know how Jackson would react, finding out that his best friend wasn’t straight, but Jackson acted like it wasn’t a big deal. Mark was grateful to him, knowing that if he told anyone else, they probably would have responded in a different way. Other than BamBam and Yugyeom of course.
“I can’t just go up to him and be like ‘Hey Jinyoung, I like you’,” Mark rubbed his temples. “I’ve rejected him before.”
Jackson held up a hand. “Wait, so he liked you before?”
“Yeah, remember that day when BamBam and Yugyeom finally told you that they liked someone? Then suddenly I yelled at Jinyoung to leave?”
Jackson tilted his as thought for a moment. “Oh yeah! That was pretty scary, though. You never yell.”
Mark closed his eyes, thinking back.
“I like you.”
Mark blinked. Did he just hear Jinyoung correctly?
“I like you.” Jinyoung repeated, this time his voice clearer.
Mark scrunched his eyebrows. “So… basically you’re saying you like me? When we’re both… guys?”
Jinyoung took a deep breath, knowing this was headed for the worst. “Yes, Mark. I like you and I know we are both guys but I still like you, okay?”
Suddenly Mark jumped up, paying no attention to his laptop, which fell on the floor with a clatter.
“Get out.” Mark said, coldly.
Jinyoung’s normally cheerful eyes slowly filled up with tears. “Please, Mark. Please just listen to me.”
“What’s going on?” Jackson walked over. BamBam and Yugyeom stayed put on the couch, knowing not to interfere but faces still showed concern.
“Mark, please.” Jinyoung pleaded. “Can’t you just try and listen?”
Mark shook his head, a glare forming in his eyes. “No. Get out, Park Jinyoung.” Jinyoung cowered back at this, afraid. Mark never showed intense emotion like this before and it was scary to be the one those eyes were directed on.
Jackson looked at Mark and then at Jinyoung. “Um, guys? Can you please tell me what the hell is going on right now?”
Mark pushed Jackson away, none too gently and pulled Jinyoung up by the arm. “Did you not hear me, Park Jinyoung?”
The tears that had welled up in Jinyoung’s eyes slowly fell down his face as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, hastily wiping the teardrops away with his sleeve.
He did not look back again.
~
Mark shook his head to wake himself up from the past.
“Hyung, just tell him.” Jackson said again, throwing his hands up.
Mark groaned as he ran his hand through his hair. “How? How can I after all these years? I was so mean and selfish that day.”
“Look,” Jackson said. “You can tell him, Hyung. You like him, right? Then tell him your feelings. I’m 99% sure he still likes you.”
Mark looked up, his face full of surprise. “What did you say?”
“He likes you, Mark. I’m sure of it. But I think he’s denying his true feelings because he doesn’t want to get hurt again.”
So that’s how badly I hurt him back then, Mark thought, guilt and pain washed over him like a never-ending wave. “No way, he can’t still like me. I hurt him so much back then… there’s no way he still likes me.”
Jackson huffed. “Whatever! That’s my own opinion, but if it makes you feel any better, I think the two guys that hang with Jinyoung are together, too. Jaebum and… Youngjae? Yeah.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “How in the world is that supposed to make me feel any better, Jackson?”
Jackson shrugged his shoulder excessively. “I don’t know! Like being gay is nothing to be ashamed of?”
Mark let out a small laugh. “Gee, thanks Jackson. I appreciate it.”
Jackson clapped Mark on the shoulder, glad to have his friend back. “Anytime, Mark. Anytime.”
~
A week later, Mark found himself again in Jinyoung’s room, working on their project. I should tell him, Mark thought as he stuck the piece of paper onto the poster board, there probably will never be another chance.
Mark took a deep breath. “Jinyoung.”
Jinyoung looked up from the laptop where he was typing up his and Mark’s presentation. “Yeah?”
Mark didn’t know why, but a sudden rush of adrenaline pumped through his veins and his lips were on Jinyoung’s.
Jinyoung’s eyes widened and he quickly pulled away, standing up from the ground. “What the hell, Mark?”
Mark cursed under his breath, face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I…”
Jinyoung just stared at the boy on the floor, the person that he was friends with for almost half of his life, the person he trusted the most in the world, even more than his parents. “Mark?”
“I’m sorry, Jinyoung, but…” Mark trailed off. “I think I like you.”
Jinyoung just stood there, not knowing what to do.
Mark continued on. “It’s okay if you hate me after this. Hate me all you want, I might actually feel better about myself. But I just needed to tell you. I’m sorry for hurting you when you told me a long time ago. I was stupid, and immature for not realizing my true feelings too.”
“That day, when you told you liked me, I was just confused. I didn’t know what to do because it was so sudden. I was an idiot for shutting you out from my life. I might not show it, but after that day, I was hurting too. And I am still now.”
Jinyoung closed his eyes and thought back to that time when he was pulled up by Mark and being told to get out. It was painful, but for some reason, this caused more pain.
“Jinyoung?” Mark asked tentatively, “Are you okay?”
Jinyoung slowly nodded and opened his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mark.”
Mark bit his lip, knowing that this wasn’t going as well as he had hoped.
Jinyoung took one look at the other boy’s face and quickly added. “I’m not saying no. I’m just… just can you give me some time to think?”
A spark of hope emitted inside Mark and he nodded. He grabbed his things and left Jinyoung’s house, praying that he was okay.
~
“Sooo?” Jackson exclaimed, screeching to a stop at Mark’s locker, “Did you tell him?”
Mark shook his head in disbelief at Jackson’s eagerness. “Yes I did, Jackson. Now will you please shut the hell up?”
Jackson laughed his infamous hyena laugh and did a little victory dance around Mark. “Yes! I can die happy now.”
Mark laughed. “What?”
Jackson stopped and turned serious. “I’m not kidding. Now that my best friend has finally confessed and is somewhat happy, I have nothing to worry about.”
“Aw, should I be flattered?”
Jackson jabbed his finger onto Mark’s chest. “Yes, you most definitely should!”
Mark rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Wang.”
“Anyways, what did he say?” Jackson asked, leaning against the lockers.
Mark sighed. “He said to give him some time to think.”
Jackson furrowed his eyebrows. “Ouch. What’s that supposed to mean?”
“How am I supposed to know?” Mark said, shutting his locker. “You have more experience in this stuff.”
Jackson held up his hands in defense. “True. But!” He waited dramatically. “I never get rejected.”
“Oh my god, Jackson.” Mark replied, and walked away from Jackson to his class.
Jackson snickered and trotted after Mark, throwing his arm around Mark’s shoulders playfully.
As they rounded the corner, a boy emerged from behind the wall. He drew something from his pocket and slid it into one of the lockers. He stood there for a few seconds then walked away.
~
BamBam, Mark and Jackson came out of the classroom, shoving each other around. It was finally lunch time and the halls were crowded with students, eager to get out of their classes.
Yugyeom caught up to them and exclaimed, “Okay, you cannot believe what just happened.”
Jackson rolled his eyes at the maknae. “I won’t believe anything unless you tell me that the love of your life asked you out.”
Yugyeom’s mouth fell open. “Wait, did someone tell you already? How did you know?”
Jackson blinked. “So… Sujin… asked you out?”
Yugyeom nodded slowly, a faint blush starting to appear on his cheeks.
BamBam clapped his hands as Jackson hollered. “Oh my god, I can’t believe it.”
Mark patted Yugyeom on the shoulder. “Congrats, man.”
Yugyeom smiled at the others as they headed towards the cafeteria.
Mark halted to a stop. “Wait, guys. I have to grab something at my locker.”
“Ugh, can’t you get your books after lunch?” Jackson complained.
“No, Jackson. After being late that time, no way.” Mark answered. “Besides, I’m not even that hungry, so you guys go.”
“Are you sure, hyung?” BamBam asked, concerned, “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been looking too great recently.”
Mark ruffled BamBam’s hair reassuringly. “I’m fine, Bam. Don’t worry, alright?”
BamBam hesitated. “If you say so…”
Jackson grabbed BamBam’s sleeve and half-dragged him along with Yugyeom, exchanging a quick all-knowing look with Mark. Mark nodded and walked the other way.
Pausing at his locker, Mark stared at the pale yellow door. Where is he? He thought, I haven’t seen him at all today…
He sighed, pulling his locker door open and spotted a folded-up piece of paper. Weird, Mark scrunched his eyebrows, it wasn’t there before.
Curiosity getting the best of him, Mark picked it up and opened it, flattening out the creases one by one.
Meet me after school at the place we’d always go when we were children.
Mark looked up, thinking. It must be Jinyoung. Who else would it be?
But the place they’d always go to when they were children? There could be only one place.
When they used to be children, their parents would always have dinner gatherings every weekend. Because they were bored, Jinyoung’s older sisters always took them to the playground behind their houses.
It was Mark and Jinyoung’s favourite place to play. Even when they got older, they would still just go and sit on the swings and talk.
The bell rang, cutting through his thoughts as students poured once again into the halls hurrying to their next class, Mark among them.
~
Mark sat in his seat, staring at the clock as each second slowly ticked by. He fidgeted with his pencil as he let out a deep breath. Yugyeom looked over at the boy beside him.
“Hyung,” Yugyeom asked. “You okay?”
Mark blinked. “Hm? Oh yeah, I’m good.”
The teacher tapped the board. “Yugyeom, Mark? Pay attention please.”
“Sorry.” Yugyeom apologized immediately.
Mark sighed as he looked at the clock again. Two more minutes. He began to clear up his things and zipped up his backpack. Right when the first ring of the bell sounded through the school, Mark bolted out of seat and out the door.
“What’s wrong with Mark hyung?” BamBam asked Yugyeom as he came up behind him, hitching his bag higher up his arm.
Yugyeom shrugged. “I don’t know. Let’s just ask Jackson hyung later.”
As soon as Mark burst through the main doors, he ran down the street, heading towards the playground with Jinyoung’s note clenched in his fist.
When the top of the swing set came into view, Mark slowed down. Panting, he looked around, trying to find Jinyoung. When he failed he sat down onto one of the swings, pushing himself while waiting patiently.
Then suddenly, the sound of leaves crunching appeared and Jinyoung settled down in the swing beside Mark.
“Hey,” Jinyoung said quietly.
“Hey,” Mark replied, “Where were you today?”
Jinyoung shuffled his feet. “I wasn’t feeling well.”
“Oh, okay. But are you feeling better?” Mark asked, finally looking over to his left.
“Yeah, I’m better.”
“That’s good,” Mark said. “So… why did you want to meet here?”
Jinyoung took a deep breath. “Because I wanted to give you my answer.”
~
“Because I wanted to give you my answer.”
So this was about Mark’s confession.
“So…” Mark asked.
“Yes.”
Mark blinked, frozen. What did he just say?
“I accept your feelings and I want to return mine.” Jinyoung repeated, sneaking a look at the boy beside him. “If you’re okay with it, I mean.”
Finally Mark cracked a smile and sighed with relief. “Thank you, Jinyoung. I mean it.”
Jinyoung blushed slightly and smiled as well.
His movements hesitant, Mark reached over and clasped Jinyoung’s hand. He squeezed it gently and Jinyoung did it back.
Then they both looked forward at the playground in front of them, reminiscing the past of them running around the monkey bars as they played tag.
But now it was different again.
~
Time passed quickly, and before they knew it, it was Christmas season already. Storekeepers hung lights of red and green and many other colours along their windows. Others opted for festive drawings on the glass and placed miniature trees by the door. Light white powder dusted the sidewalks, more falling from the sky.
Jinyoung was at Mark’s house, playing video games in the basement. It was the first day of winter break and they didn’t want any time to go to waste.
“Hey! You killed me, Mark.” Jinyoung exclaimed as his side of the TV screen shone ‘GAME OVER’.
Mark smirked. “Sorry.”
Jinyoung pouted at Mark and the latter laughed. Mark scooted closer to Jinyoung and put his arm over him. “I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do it again.”
He blushed, not used to the relationship he and Mark had just yet. But he enjoyed it nevertheless, tilting his head so it could rest on Mark’s shoulder. Jinyoung closed his eyes and smiled in content.
Mark stared down at Jinyoung’s forehead and after a thought, leaned down and kissed it quickly. Jinyoung shot up quickly as Mark laughed again. He smacked Mark on the arm and looked away.
“What? I can’t even kiss you?” Mark asked as Jinyoung rubbed his forehead.
Jinyoung scrunched his eyebrows. “No, just…”
Mark cocked his head and merely looked at him. “Huh? What?”
“Never mind.” Jinyoung huffed, picking up his game remote. “Are we still playing?”
Mark chuckled. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’ll stop teasing you. Happy?”
Jinyoung waited for a bit but shook his head, a frown still upon his face. “No.”
“Then what do you want me to do?” Mark asked, puzzled.
Jinyoung fidgeted with the game remote and refused to look at Mark. “Kiss.”
Mark internally ‘awed’, and crawled over to him. He put his hands on Jinyoung’s face and placed his lips on Jinyoung’s. Jinyoung automatically leaned into it, and the kiss developed into a deeper and more passionate one. It was if all the words, feelings and actions from previous years that were not delivered were pouring out through this one kiss.
Mark locked his arms around Jinyoung’s neck as Jinyoung shyly wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist. Slowly but surely, Mark leaned further and they ended up on the ground with Jinyoung underneath Mark.
Mark broke the contact between them and grinned down at Jinyoung, whose face was flushed and lips more pink than normal. Jinyoung smiled back and slid his hand
into Mark’s hair, letting each strand fall in between his fingers.
Mark pecked Jinyoung’s lips once again before letting himself up, pulling Jinyoung with him. “Come on,” Mark said, “let’s play.”
Mark handed Jinyoung his remote and he snuggled close to Mark, his eyes fixed on the screen. “Do we have to?” Jinyoung asked. “I’m sleepy.”
Mark laughed. “To be honest, same here.” He flipped off the TV and took the blanket off the couch and covered themselves with it.
Jinyoung closed his eyes and fell asleep right away, his breathing even. Mark just stared at him, brushing the hair out of his eyes.
Sleep slowly took over Mark and he fell into a deep slumber, his head on Jinyoung’s head with their hands clasped tightly together, and never letting go.
~
“Merry Christmas!” Mark exclaimed as he opened the door.
Jackson, BamBam, Yugyeom were on the doorstep of Mark’s house. Behind them stood Jinyoung and surprisingly, Youngjae and Jaebum.
Mark had told Jinyoung to invite them over for his Christmas party he had every year with his friends and family. He had doubted that they would come, since before they knew that Jinyoung and Mark weren’t on the best terms, but they’d agreed almost immediately.
The six boys filed into the house and Mark closed the door.
Mark’s mom trotted into the living room, a big smile plastered on her face. “Mark! So these are your friends?”
Mark nodded and introduced each of them. “Well, you know these three,” Mark gestured towards Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom. “And this is Youngjae, Jaebum and Jinyoung.”
All six of them greeted Mark’s mother and she smiled brightly. “Aw, you guys are so polite and adorable.” She winked as Jaebum stepped forward.
“Mrs. Tuan? These are for you.” He held up his gift bag and indicated to the others, who also had bags in their hands.
“You shouldn’t have!” Mark’s mother exclaimed as she accepted them. “Thank you so much!”
Jaebum shook his head. “It’s our pleasure. And thank you for inviting us over. Also, our families are on their way, if you were wondering.”
She laughed loudly. “I was actually, now that you mention it. Hopefully they’ll arrive soon! And no need to thank me. You’re all Mark’s friends so of course you’d be invited. Besides,” She glanced at Mark. “He kept bothering me about inviting all of you.”
Mark widened his eyes. “Say, mom, don’t you need to go prepare the food?” he said as he pushed her to the kitchen. He came back and shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Sorry, she’s always like that. Anyways, you can put your jackets here.”
Mark took his friends downstairs to the basement as they waited for the other guests to arrive. Not soon after, the doorbell rang and the house filled with cries of delight of friends reuniting and introductions of newly met people.
“Mark!” His father called down the stairs to where Mark and his friends were at. “Time to eat!”
Mark got up and brushed his jeans. “Come on, guys. My mom may seem cheerful and all, but when it comes to food, she means business. She hates it when people are late for meals.”
Jackson nodded in agreement. “It’s true. I’ve seen it happen. It was so funny to watch, actually. Mark got-”
Mark clapped his hand over Jackson’s mouth. “Shut up, Wang. And let’s go.”
“What happened to Mark?” Jinyoung asked, his eyes curious.
Jackson snickered. “I’ll tell you later, when Mark’s not around. It’s hilarious.”
Mark glared at Jackson. “You better not, or else I’ll kick you out.”
BamBam came up behind them. “Don’t risk it, hyung. Mark’s kicks hurt like sh-”
“Hey! No swearing!” Jaebum suddenly yelled.
BamBam looked surprised but shut his mouth. Yugyeom sniggered and BamBam flicked his forehead while no one was looking.
They walked into the dining room and sat down at the table. It was filled with food down to every corner of the tablecloth so that no white space was visible. Plates of food were placed around the big turkey that was sitting in the middle.
“Help yourself, everyone!” Mark’s mom exclaimed. “There’s plenty more. But save room for dessert!”
Empty plates were passed around as clinks of cutlery filled the kitchen. Gradually, the food was disappearing and dessert took their places. There were so many different desserts that no one knew which one to start with. Gingerbread, Sugar cookies, Pies, Cakes, Pudding and much more now covered the table.
Time passed and now everyone sat in the living room to talk and catch up with each other. But most importantly, gift exchanges.
Presents were handed out according to the names written on the tags and the floor was starting to be littered with wrapping paper. The seven of them headed once again to the basement to hand out their own gifts. Mark and Jinyoung exchanged their gifts and opened it at the same time.
Jinyoung gasped as he looked at what Mark had gotten him. It was the entire copy of the books series he had loved from when they were still friends. It was still his favourite series now.
“You remembered?” Jinyoung said, flipping through the pages of one of them.
“Of course I did. You’d carry at least one book of that series around every time we saw each other.”
Mark now looked at his own gift. It was a photo album.
But not any photo album. It was their own. Jinyoung seemed to have gathered all their pictures from their childhood together and put them in order, with little notes written on the back of them.
“There’s still some empty space left,” Jinyoung said, flipping to the empty pages near the back. “Let’s fill it up with our own memories in the future.”
Mark smiled, warning himself not to shed tears in front of his friends, and most importantly, Jinyoung.
“Thank you, Jinyoung.” Mark said, breathless.
“You’re welcome.” Jinyoung answered, taking Mark’s hand and he interlocked their fingers together.
Mark leaned over to whisper in Jinyoung’s ear.
“I won’t say it right now because I know you don’t like it when there are other people around.”
Jinyoung was confused for a moment. Then it clicked in his brain. “You remembered?”
Mark nodded. “Of course. How could I not?”
No matter how hard Mark wanted to, he never said those words to Jinyoung in front of others. Even after a month, two months, a year, he never did. They didn’t have to, because the words ‘you remembered’ was enough to show how close they were to remember such small details from so long ago.
It became their…
I love yous.
~~~
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