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[gothicfairy1209]

I dont know whats going on lately

Comments

[wow_still_here]

we don't hate jamie. i don't think you hang out with him too much. i just think that it's stupid how he has to be touching you constantly. i don't got at ash about it because ash isn't touching jono CONSTANTLY okay, she does it a lot, but how much do i see of ash? she's one of the people that ignore me remember? look, i'm sorry if i give off the wrong impression but sometimes it pisses me off that i can't have a simple conversation with you without jamie leaning over me, i don't like it, it's unnerving, i feel like he's some type of psychoanalyst, trying to see inside me, i don't like that, because whats inside me is my business. do you get it? it's not that i don't like him, the truth is, he scares me, the way he was on the train to france, the way he looks at me sometimes, it scares me really bad okay? i don't like it. and that's the end of it. i don't hate you for loving him, i don't hate you for hanging out with him. i guess in a way, i'm jealous, yeah me, because i wish i could be with dave that much but guess what? i'm not that

[wow_still_here]

and leonas just pissed because you're ditching her for sex

[gothicfairy1209]

what do you mean the way he looks at you?

[wow_still_here]

oh don't even tell me you haven't noticed. and before you decide to make out i'm the bad guy, i'm sorry for being forced to be the one to tell you okay? i'm sorry but you deserve to know whether i come out as the bad guy or not, because i know how it'll go, you'll confront him, he'll deny it, everyone hates sophie, whatever i don't even care i'm happy as i am, i've got dave, that's all i need, all the rest is just accessories, niceities, things i'd like but hey i'm not fussed if i don't have, it's not like i'd die without friends is it? so i'd be a loner, who cares? but the point is, someone had to tell you, and for the record that someone was me, so sue me i don't care but for your sake and mine, just get him to stop, you don't even have tyo leave him just please make him stop.

and for the record, i think nic's right.

sorry jess, no hard feelings eh? you can hate me but please don't give me shit for it? just quietly hate me, you don't even have to speak to me.

[x_makemebleed_x]

FFS Jess

[gothicfairy1209]

i..i..

I dont know what to say.sophie i really dont know what you mean about jamie. i dont understand can you please explain to me more.

I think...i think...i need to go lie down.

[gothicfairy1209]

ok maybe to you it seems like i shouldnt be unhappy.but no ones perfect. Everyone has bad moods where they feel unhappy. I was in one when i wrote this entry. Sure my problems might not seem as bad as anyone elses but i still have things go wrong in my life, i still have things that upset me.
i wasnt crying out for attention i was just writing down my thoughts.at that moment i felt helpless ok? i might not feel like it now but i did then.Everyone says stupid things sometimes.

Your telling me to be happy but you say when you see me being happy with jamie it upsets you so how the hell can i be fucking happy if i know its upsetting people around me?

i dont hug jamie in the playground and think oh i know ill shove this in sophies face just to make her upset. I hug him cos i love him. Im sorry that sophie cant see dave everyday like i can and im sorry that your not happy nic but you cant blame it on me.
You know what? fuck it ok.
Lifes short and im trying to make the best of the only bit of happyness in mine.