wai wai neko-mimi
This is an essay on why Kizna keeps flipping out and hitting people most of the time. Which is to say, this is about Kizna's body image and her complex with it.
The most obvious point of attention is her ears. In canon, she hides her ears because she's nervous about how her partner will react to them when they first meet. Zero, in all of his infinite wisdom, decides to yank her hat off, causing him and all the boys to gawk. Kizna freaks out, slaps him, then bolts in the middle of a lesson to go emo in a dark corner. She refuses to come back to class even when Zero goes to hunt her down until he yells that he doesn't care what she looks like. He just wants to be a pilot!!1! Then he hefts her like a bag of flour to class. . . Good job, Zero.
Now, Zero was an important person to Kizna long before they met, and there's a lot more going on than just her complex in that meeting. It still shows what a huge issue she has with her ears though. She doesn't get a lot of bad attention for them, but she does get a lot of attention, even in camp, which is exacerbates the fact that she does not fit the status quo even amongst a pretty diverse crowd. Kizna is aware a lot of people accept her for what she looks like and is trying to temper down about her ears in camp. It won't dispel what seems to be two to three years of anxiety about her appearance that quickly though.
Her ears bring up some of her other issues as well. She doesn't know why she has them or why she's deaf. They're a constant reminder that something happened to her in her past, and she probably isn't going to ever find out. So, naturally, when someone questions them at all it leads to a bunch of questions that she's not comfortable with unless she wants to share that fact about herself. So, it's not just her body image-- It's almost the entirety of her issues that any attention to her ears brings up.
She can't change the fact that she has them, but she tries to attract attention in other ways, attempting to divert people's focus. According to my headcanon, when Kizna developed her amnesia is the same time when she completely made over her appearance. She used to be pale with dull brown hair as a girl then appears in canon as a teenager with bright pink hair and a slight tan. Kizna created the identity of who she wanted to be, of who she thought she was. She hacks the pants leg of her uniform off out of regulations, because she wants everything to be completely her. She wants to be recognized not as a cat freak, not as someone who doesn't know who they were five years ago, but as Kizna Towryk, a good friend and a girl who is determined to become a Repairer.
If you want to know why she's deaf and has amnesia? Then you go here.
Throwing this outside of the cut, I don't mind anyone freaking out or questioning Kizna on her ears in any way. If she trusts you, then she'll tell you. If not, then she won't. You push it? She'll punch you or flip out in tears. She's lived with them for awhile now, so you can't actually upset her that badly about them, just poke actual visible buttons.
Questions go here.
The most obvious point of attention is her ears. In canon, she hides her ears because she's nervous about how her partner will react to them when they first meet. Zero, in all of his infinite wisdom, decides to yank her hat off, causing him and all the boys to gawk. Kizna freaks out, slaps him, then bolts in the middle of a lesson to go emo in a dark corner. She refuses to come back to class even when Zero goes to hunt her down until he yells that he doesn't care what she looks like. He just wants to be a pilot!!1! Then he hefts her like a bag of flour to class. . . Good job, Zero.
Now, Zero was an important person to Kizna long before they met, and there's a lot more going on than just her complex in that meeting. It still shows what a huge issue she has with her ears though. She doesn't get a lot of bad attention for them, but she does get a lot of attention, even in camp, which is exacerbates the fact that she does not fit the status quo even amongst a pretty diverse crowd. Kizna is aware a lot of people accept her for what she looks like and is trying to temper down about her ears in camp. It won't dispel what seems to be two to three years of anxiety about her appearance that quickly though.
Her ears bring up some of her other issues as well. She doesn't know why she has them or why she's deaf. They're a constant reminder that something happened to her in her past, and she probably isn't going to ever find out. So, naturally, when someone questions them at all it leads to a bunch of questions that she's not comfortable with unless she wants to share that fact about herself. So, it's not just her body image-- It's almost the entirety of her issues that any attention to her ears brings up.
She can't change the fact that she has them, but she tries to attract attention in other ways, attempting to divert people's focus. According to my headcanon, when Kizna developed her amnesia is the same time when she completely made over her appearance. She used to be pale with dull brown hair as a girl then appears in canon as a teenager with bright pink hair and a slight tan. Kizna created the identity of who she wanted to be, of who she thought she was. She hacks the pants leg of her uniform off out of regulations, because she wants everything to be completely her. She wants to be recognized not as a cat freak, not as someone who doesn't know who they were five years ago, but as Kizna Towryk, a good friend and a girl who is determined to become a Repairer.
If you want to know why she's deaf and has amnesia? Then you go here.
Throwing this outside of the cut, I don't mind anyone freaking out or questioning Kizna on her ears in any way. If she trusts you, then she'll tell you. If not, then she won't. You push it? She'll punch you or flip out in tears. She's lived with them for awhile now, so you can't actually upset her that badly about them, just poke actual visible buttons.
Questions go here.