okay, so that is embarassingly late! oops!
first? guess who just accidentally toed the power bar under her desk to 'OFF'? yeah. I fail.
one other reason why I fail is that this fic is WAY WAY WAY overdue. Back in the luau at
lostsquee (remember that? lol!) my darling
keyweegirlie had the last day as Queen. I wrote her 417 words with a TBC tomorrow. yeah. that was the 30th of August. Fail, fail, major fail! lol! this fic fought me every single step of the way. and I am still not sure what it is worth.
Cassie, darling, you deserve way better. I hope you like it :)
Since it makes no sense to link to a 3 months old intro that was so short, I included it here so you have the whole story.
Unintentional Confession
Set in: season 2.09, Episode "What Kate Did"
Jack/Sawyer, around 5000 words, PG-13
Summary: Remember when Sawyer woke up in the hatch? What if it had been Jack who was there and things were a little different?
A/N: thanks to Sue for the beta, still willingly my partner in crime after all this time. ♥
Jack looks at Sawyer, golden on the white sheets even if sweaty and delirious. Not even a near death experience can make that man less than absolutely beautiful. Jack can't help it even if it makes him feel a bit guilty: he loves having an excuse to touch him and lets his fingers linger when he thinks no one will notice. The bullet wound is still red and angry, so Jack tries to be even more careful than usual when he changes Sawyer's bandages. He doesn't know if Sawyer can hear him, but he talks anyway, keeping his tone cheerful.
"Sorry, man, I know this hurts. Michael told me you pulled the bullet out with your bare hands. You'll have to show me how to do that sometime."
What a pig headed bastard, Jack thinks, scoffing at how Sawyer says he is the one with the hero complex. Sawyer moves a bit, and to Jack's surprise he whispers.
"Where is she?"
Jack is startled
"What? I didn't... "
It's quiet, but totally understandable.
"Where is she?"
Sawyer must have been conscious of Kate's presence and now he knows she is gone. Jack feels a twinge of jealousy, against his better judgment.
"You mean Kate. She's been watching over you for the past 24 hours straight. The only way I could get rid of her was to send her out to get some food for you."
Which is true and again a sore subject for Jack. He knows that Kate and Sawyer share a connection or whatever they call it. Sawyer flirts shamelessly and Kate may play coy but she plays along (he can't blame her). She cares a whole lot about him, more than Jack thought. It's been more than obvious since Sawyer got back - in the way she hovered, cradled him in her arms, kissed him even. Jack has no right to envy that, to resent the fact that he's not the only one who's working on making Sawyer better. Sawyer whispers again.
"I love her. I love her."
It's like the wind is knocked out of Jack and he sits down, slowly. He loves her. With those 3 little words, Jack's fantasy world where maybe he can have Sawyer if he only makes a move shatters. He can deal with Sawyer wanting Kate physically, since in his mind Sawyer is a sexual being, going for whoever tempts him. But love... he's genuinely surprised. He didn't think Sawyer's feelings for Kate ran that deep. It changes everything.
The room is suddenly too small, the atmosphere oppressive. Jack was convinced that he and Sawyer shared a.. a connection too but now he doubts everything. He would have sworn he felt buzzing electricity between the two of them, believed some heated glances meant there was something more than anger.
Jack's lust towards Sawyer had been strong from the beginning, but as he usually did with the crushes he had on men before, he had not acted on it. But that day in the clearing before the raft left, when Sawyer had offered closure with his father without asking for anything in return, Jack had fallen in love. Hopelessly, completely, head over heels in love.
But life on the island being what it was, Sawyer was then gone and it had been hectic for a while, with the dynamite, the hatch, Desmond... It was only when Eko appeared in the jungle carrying Sawyer like a rag doll that Jack realized the extent of his feelings by the way his heart pummeled. Saving Sawyer was priority number one, working out what to do with this second chance would come later. Or never, now that he had heard Sawyer's confession.
Sawyer doesn't stir anymore and Jack organizes his medical supplies to try and occupy his mind. He hears Kate coming back in the hatch, returning from her fruit gathering trip. She looks a bit strange, like she is unnerved or somehow spooked. As she enters the bedroom, her eyes go immediately to Sawyer's still form on the bed.
"Hey."
Jack wonders if it's just lack of sleep that makes her jittery or if there is something more.
"Hey. You okay?"
Kate has a small smile.
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm just -- I think I'm tired. How is he?"
Jack sighs.
"His fever's still up there. I can't tell if the antibiotics are working. It'll help to get some food in him. You should get down to the beach for -- for Shannon."
Jack knows that the right thing to do would be to tell Kate that Sawyer asked for her, but he cannot bring himself to say it. Jack would like to keep Sawyer to himself a bit more, while he's still out. When eventually Sawyer comes to, he won't have any excuse to stay and that will be it. Plus, Jack hates funerals, he has nothing meaningful to say. Kate seems to want to avoid it too.
"I was actually thinking that I should stay and watch Sawyer."
Jack bristles. His answer is clipped.
"I'll stay with him, Kate."
Staying is selfish, and Jack knows people expect him to show up. Kate echoes it.
"You should be there.
Shaking his head, Jack knows for sure that he doesn't want to go to the funeral out of guilt only. There was nothing he could do for Shannon when she was shot in the jungle, he's even more useless now. Jack feels that his job right now is to help Sawyer get better. Yes, if he's honest, he knows that Kate could keep watch for an hour or so but he plainly doesn't want to let her.
"No. You go. Tell them... tell them I had to stay. Please."
Kate sighs and reluctantly agrees. She whispers something in Sawyer's ear before she goes, pushing blond strands of hair aside. The gesture is intimate and it makes Jack's stomach squeeze painfully.
"I'll be back in a couple of hours."
"Okay."
Before she leaves the bedroom, Kate gestures to the rest of the hatch.
"Don't forget the buttons."
Jack scoffs
"Yeah, right. I got it."
She squints a bit, as if he's acting strangely. Pot, meet kettle.
"Are you okay Jack? I mean..."
"Yeah. I'm great. Go."
There is not much to do, frankly, except to keep Sawyer hydrated. He could get him to eat a bit, maybe, mash up some fruit. Jack puts a piece of ripe mango in a bowl, adds some bananas. He figures that all he can do is make Sawyer feel his presence, let him know that there is someone with him. So Jack talks out loud, just like he did when Sawyer talked back earlier.
"You hungry? I'm just going to mash you up some fruit here. When you wake up you're either going to get a kick out of me feeding you like a baby or be pissed beyond belief. But that's not important, really. I think you could get better faster if you ate a bit."
As the words trail into silence, Sawyer starts to stir and whisper something unintelligible. Jack leans over him, looking for eye movement or any other sign of consciousness.
"Sawyer? Are you awake?"
Sawyer whispers some more, thrashes his head from side to side as if he's fighting something. A nightmare probably, or hallucinations caused by the fever. Jack puts a cool cloth on Sawyer's forehead, who mumbles and then stills, his breathing gradually resuming a normal speed until he seems fast asleep again.
Jack sighs as he takes the damp cloth off Sawyer's forehead: it's still way too hot. He hates feeling helpless.
"Can you hear me? Sawyer?"
Sawyer doesnt' move, dead to the world. Jack feels the sudden urge to talk about his feelings, share them, hopes that by doing so the pressure inside his chest will lessen. It's not like he can confide to anyone here on the island, and he'll never get an occasion to talk to Sawyer about it. He's not even sure he'd want to, in fact. It's laughable but this occasion is all he has.
"I'm probably crazy to talk to you of all people about this Sawyer, but it doesn't matter, I just have to. I have a crush on..." He falters. "... someone and it just doesn't want to go away. Even if I know... even if I am convinced that it will never work out, that those feelings will never be shared." He pauses and just decides to get it all out. "Sawyer, if you only knew. You'd laugh at me, oh god! You'd find that hilarious. I know love isn't easy for anyone, not even you, but you go for what you want, I admire that. But me... me, I just know deep in my bones that I'll get hurt, whether I do something or not. And every time I look at.. that person, every time I feel something I shouldn't feel, it makes me sick."
Sawyer mumbles
"That's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard."
Startled, Jack freezes. Could it be that he's conscious?
"Sawyer?"
As if takes some effort to do so, Sawyer opens his eyes and squints, looks around a bit.
"I'm in a bunk-bed?"
Jack giggles, relieved to see finally some sign of improvement even if it could only be temporary.
"Yeah, you're in a bunk-bed."
There is hope in Sawyer's blue eyes when he looks at Jack
"Are we saved?"
He hates to crush that light right out, but Jack shakes his head
"No, Sawyer. Not yet."
He groans and sighs deeply as he closes his eyes.
"Figures. You sure?"
"Yeah. I'd have better pain meds to give you if we were saved. And decent antibiotics."
Without realizing it could be a problem, Sawyer tries to turn on his side and groans in pain. To regain his composure, he starts breathing exaggeratedly slower, gritting between tightly closed teeth.
"Son of a bitch!"
Jack pulls his chair closer and uses the back of his hand on Sawyer's forehead to evaluate if the fever broke. Although still hot, it does feel slightly better. But it could be only subjective because he sees Sawyer being alert enough. When Sawyer seems about to try moving his shoulder again, Jack stills him.
"Don't move it, not yet. Give it a bit of time."
Sawyer lets himself relax on the mattress, and Jack sees him try to swallow and wince.
"Come on, man. You have to drink a bit. Think you can do that?"
He nods, and Jack holds his head up a bit, trying to be as gentle as he can as he brings the glass to his lips. Afraid to tire him, Jack lets Sawyer go back down on his pillow after a couple of small gulps. Jack starts to mash the fruit he prepared earlier and sees that Sawyer is examining him thoughtfully. Jack smiles.
"Hungry?"
Sawyer shows some dimple.
"You're my personal nurse, then, huh?"
He can't help but to grin back.
"Yeah, no one wanted the job, and it's not like I had any choice, with the Hippocratic oath and everything."
Instead of generating more smiles like Jack though it would, Sawyer's eyes go to the side, avoiding contact as if troubled, or hurt even, and he feels bad. He never thought Sawyer would take it seriously.
"Ah, come on, that's not true. I had to kick Kate out, she was by your side since Eko brought you back. She was so worried. She'll be so happy to see you doing better."
Sawyer huffs and he looks at Jack again, smile coming back.
"Really? Ah well, what do you know..."
It seems that those two will finally stop dancing around each other and just admit what everyone could see in the first place, too bad it took Sawyer almost dying to prompt them to act. Jack cannot help but feel hurt none the less as he sees the stars line up. He's not sure how well he will cope with watching Kate and Sawyer become more then friends, from the sidelines. Even with the size of the island, they live in close quarters and it will be unavoidable that everything will be right in his face want it or not. Right behind that thought, Jack feels a pang of guilt: he should be happy for them, that's what real friends do, right? And if you care for someone, you want them to be happy, no matter what. That is the decent thing to feel, or what he supposes is. Bullshit. It hurts. Lost in his thoughts, it's only after a while that Jack notices Sawyer is looking at him closely, studying his expression.
"I can't believe I'm saying that but... well... sorry about that Doc."
Jack's eyebrows shoot up.
"What?"
Sawyer smirks.
"I know how you feel about Freckles, and if I was in your shoes... But don't worry. She's in love with you, not me. She'll run to you as soon as she realizes it."
It doesn't make any sense. Jack has seen cynics before, he's pretty good at it himself from time to time, but that takes the cake. Sawyer is literally throwing the woman he loves at him before anything has the chance of happening. He shakes his head in dismay as Sawyer goes on.
"Kate will be trailing you again in no time. She just loves feeling useful. Especially if it helps you."
"I don't know why you are saying that, man. She cares about you, a lot."
Sawyer smiles self derisively.
"Maybe... but not as much as she cares about you."
Jack's mind boggles.
"Why are you telling me that?"
"Awww. The things I'll do... I am still not sure if I'll tease you forever or pretend I forgot altogether, but I heard you earlier. Kate... she totally loves you back, you know. Me I'm just bothering her a bit. My natural charm and all of that."
Jack doesn't know if he should burst out laughing or hit the guy.
"Kate? I'm not in love with Kate!"
Sawyer squints.
"You're not?"
"NO! I mean I like her a lot, but not... forget it."
To his total embarrassment, Jack feels like he's blushing to what must be a deep shade of red. He gets defensive.
"And I don't understand why you are saying that, not with what you said..."
It's Sawyer's turn to look alarmed.
"I said something?"
"Yes, earlier. Seems it is confession time for everyone today. Lucky us."
Jack's cheeks are on fire and he looks at his feet, uncomfortable. One day, he'll just learn to keep his mouth shut.
"Oh man."
Sawyer looks positively distressed, which makes Jack roll his eyes.
"Come on, it's not like it's breaking news. Everyone sort of knew..."
Almost recoiling in the bed, Sawyer is gaping like a fish.
"Everyone knew?"
He can't believe that comes as a surprise.
"Well... yeah. You never really hid it very well in the first place."
"Fuck. You knew too?"
Jack is puzzled.
"Uh.... yeah?" He refrains adding 'by the way you always tried to get in her pants from day one, was quite obvious' even if it is burning his tongue.
After a second, Jack realizes that a flush is spreading on Sawyer's neck and up to his cheeks and it's not because of the fever. It's honest to god blushing, which is the most bizarre and surprising thing Jack ever saw. Either to distance himself from the conversation or to hide that weird manifestation of embarrassment, Sawyer puts his right elbow over his eyes.
"Shit. I'm totally losing it, if I could not see that you were reading me that well. I really thought you had no idea."
That? Doesn't make any sense. Jack exclaims
"How could I have missed it Sawyer? Geez you made sure to rub how you and Kate had this 'connection'..." He says with air quotes. "...every time you possibly could, just to make me mad!"
Sawyer stills, then peaks from under his arm.
"Come again?"
"Everyone on this island knows you have feelings for Kate, Sawyer, don't act like it's such a surprise! You said you loved her, it's not that big a deal! I won't tell her if you don't want to admit it, or some other shit."
Contrary to what Jack expects, Sawyer smiles and then starts to laugh softly.
"Kate? I said I loved Kate? Oh my god. I can't believe that. Jesus."
Jack's brows furrow. He doesn't love Kate? Who then? Claire? This conversation is so awkward, Jack puts his face in his hands and groans.
"I'm... oh God. In fact you just said 'I love her' and I assumed... It's none of my business, sorry."
Pushing on his knees, Jack stands up and the only thing he wants to do right now is to just get out, let this blow over, forget all about it.
"You know what? This is just... I'll let you rest Sawyer."
A hand on his thigh stops him, there for a second, before Sawyer lets him go. He's looking up at him, serious now.
"No, no, no. Something got mixed up somewhere. It was probably the fever talking, doc, you know you should not put too much value in delirium." Which is true. "But... well in fact... I think you should know."
Jack's first reaction is that he really doesn't want to know who the hell Sawyer loves. If it's not Kate it's someone else and it's the same fucking problem.
"What? Why should I know..."
As if it's a colossal burden, Sawyer sighs.
"See, I told myself that if I made it back here alive, I had to tell that person... no matter what happened, I had to get it out."
Jack sighs right back.
"You are braver than me, then. I think that's a great idea."
A scoff.
"You might change your opinion on that real soon."
"Why?"
There is something like a dare on Sawyer's face, as if he's challenging a reaction.
"What if I told you it was a guy?" Jack doesn't even have time to process that info that Sawyer continues. "What if I told you it was you?"
It's out before Jack thinks more of it.
"Whaaaa?"
Jaw set, shoulders squared as much as he can, Sawyer continues to drop A-bombs on him.
"I made it back alive, so here. I tell you. You drive me nuts. And not just because you are an arrogant annoying jerk."
Something must be funny, although he'd love to know what, because Sawyer starts smiling.
"Oh god, should see your face. Hey, it's okay, I'll get over it. I don't make a habit to hit on straight guys."
Jack falls down on the chair, legs wobbly, and is back to facepalming while the meanings of Sawyer's words finally sink in. Sawyer is not only saying he doesn't love Kate, but adds that he has feelings for him? Jack mumbles between his fingers.
"You sure you are not still delirious there?"
Sawyer laughs.
"No such luck, Doc. But I'd prefer if we just... kept this between ourselves. And never speak about it again."
That is a lot to ask.
"I am afraid I'm not going to be able to do that."
Sawyer groans.
"You can't read me for shit Sawyer."
"What?"
"If you think I'm totally straight, I'll say it again, you can't read me for shit."
Silence. There is a rapid succession of emotions on Sawyer's face before he settles on neutral and squints.
"I'm not sure I'm getting what you're trying to say here."
"I'm saying we're both idiots."
Sawyer snorts.
"We probably are. And what brought this epiphany?"
Better get it out now when he has the guts to and no time to over think.
"Because you drive me nuts too. And not just because you are a vain insufferable smartass."
It is kind of funny to see Sawyer at loss for words.
"Oh."
In a way, it is even worse. Sawyer is looking at him intently, wavering between looking thrilled and scared shitless. Jack's heart is beating on double time, and his guts are twisted in anguish. What now? Who does what? Jack waits, expecting Sawyer to be crass and possibly leer, make a bad joke or sexual innuendo, but to his surprise he doesn't. In fact, he puts his arm over his eyes again, as if he's trying to compose himself back. That doesn't tell Jack what to do, but sitting in silence with high voltage tension is not something he's up for. His eyes fall on the fruit on the bedside table.
"Huh. Are you hungry?"
Jack could kick himself, it's so lame. Sawyer grins and starts to chuckle. Jack can't help himself, he giggles too. Jack takes the bowl, turns to Sawyer.
"Come on. You have to get better. Lets put something into you."
Sawyer laughs at that and Jack realizes what he just said. He's absolutely mortified, he could not sound like a bigger moron if he even tried. He has to fight the urge to flee the room, the hatch and send someone to play nurse, hell Kate would do fine.
"You are so lucky I'm not all over that one."
"I can't believe you are not!"
Sawyer laughs some more and it is a thing of beauty.
"Come on, sit up a bit."
Jack helps Sawyer to settle against some pillows, not knowing how to handle the sudden proximity when just touching him is getting close to too much. It's awkward and hot and Jack has to resist the urge to just pounce on him. He's practically shaking, his heart jack hammering in his chest.
Sawyer's eyes are burning into Jack, and their touches linger a bit more than they should. Surprisingly, there is a lot of coyness: they don't directly meet eyes and if they do, Sawyer looks away quickly, as if he's afraid that Jack will flee any second. He's now sitting up, and Jack finally feeds a spoon full of mango to Sawyer. He cannot help it, Jack zeros in on Sawyer's mouth, his lips, at how his Adam apple bounces as he swallows. Resolute on his task, Jack scoops another spoon full but Sawyer shakes his head and stops his hand by grabbing his wrist. As they finally lock gazes, the moment fills with tension. Sawyer whispers.
"Come on. Kiss me already."
There is something that breaks free with that and Jack doesn't wait for any more invitation. He tosses the bowl aside and moves to sit on the bed next to Sawyer. Jack gently touches his cheek, drinking in his features, the sharp cheekbones, stubble, those incredible sea blue eyes. Sawyer tolerates the scrutiny without flinching, and his fingers tighten on Jack's wrist. He doesn't look nervous anymore, only patient, as he just gave the momentum over to Jack and is ready for whatever happens. He wets his lips though, a brief flash of pink tongue that Jack watches, fascinated.
Jack slowly leans down and softly touches Sawyer's lips with his own, a butterfly of a kiss. He does it again, this time a bit more firmly. Sawyer answers to the pressure and kisses him back, and when Jack draws away, Sawyer follows a bit. Jack delves again and Sawyer's hand quits his wrist to grip at Jack's t-shirt collar, using it to pull and bring him closer, to stop him from pulling back again. Jack angles his head and when he uses the tip of his tongue to caress Sawyer's lower lip, he opens up immediately, granting access and Jack goes for it, finally, licking in Sawyer's mouth.
Sawyer groans low in his throat, making the hair in the back of Jack's neck raise. When their tongues meet, wet, soft, it's a myriad of sensations all better than the ones before. It's intense and it makes Jack want more, way more, and he has to restrain not to lie all of his weight on Sawyer. He's hard, impossibly so, aching, wanting. Sawyer's hand leaves Jack's shirt and finds its way behind his neck, pulling him still closer, kneading in the short hair of Jack's nape. Jack knows he's near the point of where he won't be able to stop and Sawyer is too weak to put energy in something like sex right now. There will be time for that later, and the thought alone makes Jack dizzy. He kisses Sawyer for a minute or so more, enjoying every single second, the taste of him, his smell even if a little sour from being sick, his skin still too hot but so soft.
With a supreme effort of will, he pulls away from Sawyer, and drinks in the dazed eyes and the full and freshly kissed lips. Jack's smile is met by a grin.
"Better?"
"Hell yeah!"
"We should take it easy."
Sawyer almost pouts and barely stifles a whine.
"Ah, come on."
Jack shakes his head.
"Just hurry to get better, okay. I don't want to hurt you."
"I can assure you I was not hurting!"
Jack sits up, does his best to convince himself it's better than touching more. To further distance himself from temptation, he shifts from the bed to the chair again.
"Just... you almost died Sawyer."
Reluctantly, Sawyer nods and he sags back on his pillow, watching Jack from half lidded eyes. There is a little smile playing on his lips and Jack rolls his eyes.
"What is it?"
"I'm wondering how I never noticed I was getting to you. I must be totally losing it."
Jack snort laughs.
"And when don't you get to someone? I think everyone on this island has either a crush on you or loves to hate you."
There is no mistaking, Sawyer looks proud of that.
"Hey, better that than to be invisible."
"There is nothing wrong in being invisible."
Sawyer shakes his head.
"Yeah, there is. But how would you know? I'd bet you never were invisible. But that's not the point."
"And the point would be?"
Sawyer looks around.
"Where the hell are we?"
Jack laughs derisively.
"We are still on the island, in a hatch that Locke found and dug up, we opened it with dynamite." Sawyer raises his eyebrows. Jack waves a bit. "Long story. It looks as if we've stepped it a time machine or an old mad scientist movie."
Sawyer straightens with a pained grunt and throws his legs over the side of the bed, now sitting in front of Jack.
"Hey, hey, what are you doing?"
Sawyer puts a hand on the night table and Jack can see that he's about to stand up.
"I gotta see that for myself."
"That's not a good idea, you should rest. You'll see it later."
Of course it's not going to be that easy.
"Hey, you help me or you don't, but I need to get out of that bed."
And of course there is no way to convince him otherwise. Jack decides that it's probably more efficient to help Sawyer around and get him ASAP back to rest than to fight him on this. So he hooks one of Sawyer's arms over his shoulders and helps him up.
It is comforting for Jack that even if he has to help him walk through the hatch, Sawyer can hold most of his own weight and doesn't waver. Sawyer is physically strong, he'll get out of this fine, of that he is pretty sure now. And if Sawyer is leaning a bit more than necessary, it's maybe not totally because he needs it to stand up but a need to touch that goes beyond that. Jack sure feels the same, enjoys it even, so he doesn't argue. They pass through the kitchen, and Sawyer exclaims.
"You've got to be kidding me."
He still thinks the hatch story is a joke, like Jack would ever try to make up something that just to mess with his head. There is only one solution: shrug and let him see with his own two eyes
"Air lock's over this way."
Sawyer is smirking, leaning hard on Jack.
"Come on, admit it, we've been rescued."
Jack opens the hatch's door, trying to keep it ajar and hold its weight. The humidity and heat hit them immediately.
"You got it? Sorry. Watch yourself."
Sawyer looks around, sees the jungle and the wind goes out of him at once.
"Son of a bitch."
He's unsteady and Jack worries that he could fall. Not a brilliant idea to be out and about less than 30 minutes after coming to from a near death experience. What a stubborn ass.
"Watch yourself, okay?"
Sawyer sits down on a rock.
"Oh, got it." Sighs. "Home sweet home."
It's bitter sweet, but Jack can only agree.
"Yeah."
Sawyer looks at him and he frowns.
"I really thought you were yanking my chain. What do you keep smiling at?"
Jack cannot tell him that he's so glad that he's back, that he's happy he's alive, that he's delirious that they will have a chance, so he says the first thing that goes through his mind.
"You need a haircut."
Sawyer's eyebrows shoot up.
"Oh, really?"
It's true. Sawyer cannot look bad, it would take more than that, but he is disheveled and yes, a haircut would do him some good. He winks at Sawyer.
"Don't worry, I won't shave your hair off in your sleep." Sawyer does a mock horror face, or maybe there is some real fear in there, so Jack continues. "Cut it a bit, just a bit. Okay, that's it, we're getting you inside now. You have to rest."
"Okay Doc."
Jack goes to Sawyer and hauls him up, and while he's pushing at the hatch door to bring him in, Sawyer muses aloud, smiling mischievously.
"I don't think I should have it cut much either." Jack doesn't even have time to answer that Sawyer is leaning even closer and whispering hotly in his hear. "You'll need some grip at one point, right?"
Jack almost trips at that, images rushing to his head and blood going in the completely opposite direction. Sawyer's loud happy laughter makes Jack grin, shaking his head.
This possible relationship, fling or whatever with Sawyer? It will be a hell of a ride, of that Jack is sure. And he promises himself to enjoy every minute of it.
The End.
one other reason why I fail is that this fic is WAY WAY WAY overdue. Back in the luau at
lostsquee (remember that? lol!) my darling
keyweegirlie had the last day as Queen. I wrote her 417 words with a TBC tomorrow. yeah. that was the 30th of August. Fail, fail, major fail! lol! this fic fought me every single step of the way. and I am still not sure what it is worth.
Cassie, darling, you deserve way better. I hope you like it :)
Since it makes no sense to link to a 3 months old intro that was so short, I included it here so you have the whole story.
Unintentional Confession
Set in: season 2.09, Episode "What Kate Did"
Jack/Sawyer, around 5000 words, PG-13
Summary: Remember when Sawyer woke up in the hatch? What if it had been Jack who was there and things were a little different?
A/N: thanks to Sue for the beta, still willingly my partner in crime after all this time. ♥
Jack looks at Sawyer, golden on the white sheets even if sweaty and delirious. Not even a near death experience can make that man less than absolutely beautiful. Jack can't help it even if it makes him feel a bit guilty: he loves having an excuse to touch him and lets his fingers linger when he thinks no one will notice. The bullet wound is still red and angry, so Jack tries to be even more careful than usual when he changes Sawyer's bandages. He doesn't know if Sawyer can hear him, but he talks anyway, keeping his tone cheerful.
"Sorry, man, I know this hurts. Michael told me you pulled the bullet out with your bare hands. You'll have to show me how to do that sometime."
What a pig headed bastard, Jack thinks, scoffing at how Sawyer says he is the one with the hero complex. Sawyer moves a bit, and to Jack's surprise he whispers.
"Where is she?"
Jack is startled
"What? I didn't... "
It's quiet, but totally understandable.
"Where is she?"
Sawyer must have been conscious of Kate's presence and now he knows she is gone. Jack feels a twinge of jealousy, against his better judgment.
"You mean Kate. She's been watching over you for the past 24 hours straight. The only way I could get rid of her was to send her out to get some food for you."
Which is true and again a sore subject for Jack. He knows that Kate and Sawyer share a connection or whatever they call it. Sawyer flirts shamelessly and Kate may play coy but she plays along (he can't blame her). She cares a whole lot about him, more than Jack thought. It's been more than obvious since Sawyer got back - in the way she hovered, cradled him in her arms, kissed him even. Jack has no right to envy that, to resent the fact that he's not the only one who's working on making Sawyer better. Sawyer whispers again.
"I love her. I love her."
It's like the wind is knocked out of Jack and he sits down, slowly. He loves her. With those 3 little words, Jack's fantasy world where maybe he can have Sawyer if he only makes a move shatters. He can deal with Sawyer wanting Kate physically, since in his mind Sawyer is a sexual being, going for whoever tempts him. But love... he's genuinely surprised. He didn't think Sawyer's feelings for Kate ran that deep. It changes everything.
The room is suddenly too small, the atmosphere oppressive. Jack was convinced that he and Sawyer shared a.. a connection too but now he doubts everything. He would have sworn he felt buzzing electricity between the two of them, believed some heated glances meant there was something more than anger.
Jack's lust towards Sawyer had been strong from the beginning, but as he usually did with the crushes he had on men before, he had not acted on it. But that day in the clearing before the raft left, when Sawyer had offered closure with his father without asking for anything in return, Jack had fallen in love. Hopelessly, completely, head over heels in love.
But life on the island being what it was, Sawyer was then gone and it had been hectic for a while, with the dynamite, the hatch, Desmond... It was only when Eko appeared in the jungle carrying Sawyer like a rag doll that Jack realized the extent of his feelings by the way his heart pummeled. Saving Sawyer was priority number one, working out what to do with this second chance would come later. Or never, now that he had heard Sawyer's confession.
Sawyer doesn't stir anymore and Jack organizes his medical supplies to try and occupy his mind. He hears Kate coming back in the hatch, returning from her fruit gathering trip. She looks a bit strange, like she is unnerved or somehow spooked. As she enters the bedroom, her eyes go immediately to Sawyer's still form on the bed.
"Hey."
Jack wonders if it's just lack of sleep that makes her jittery or if there is something more.
"Hey. You okay?"
Kate has a small smile.
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm just -- I think I'm tired. How is he?"
Jack sighs.
"His fever's still up there. I can't tell if the antibiotics are working. It'll help to get some food in him. You should get down to the beach for -- for Shannon."
Jack knows that the right thing to do would be to tell Kate that Sawyer asked for her, but he cannot bring himself to say it. Jack would like to keep Sawyer to himself a bit more, while he's still out. When eventually Sawyer comes to, he won't have any excuse to stay and that will be it. Plus, Jack hates funerals, he has nothing meaningful to say. Kate seems to want to avoid it too.
"I was actually thinking that I should stay and watch Sawyer."
Jack bristles. His answer is clipped.
"I'll stay with him, Kate."
Staying is selfish, and Jack knows people expect him to show up. Kate echoes it.
"You should be there.
Shaking his head, Jack knows for sure that he doesn't want to go to the funeral out of guilt only. There was nothing he could do for Shannon when she was shot in the jungle, he's even more useless now. Jack feels that his job right now is to help Sawyer get better. Yes, if he's honest, he knows that Kate could keep watch for an hour or so but he plainly doesn't want to let her.
"No. You go. Tell them... tell them I had to stay. Please."
Kate sighs and reluctantly agrees. She whispers something in Sawyer's ear before she goes, pushing blond strands of hair aside. The gesture is intimate and it makes Jack's stomach squeeze painfully.
"I'll be back in a couple of hours."
"Okay."
Before she leaves the bedroom, Kate gestures to the rest of the hatch.
"Don't forget the buttons."
Jack scoffs
"Yeah, right. I got it."
She squints a bit, as if he's acting strangely. Pot, meet kettle.
"Are you okay Jack? I mean..."
"Yeah. I'm great. Go."
There is not much to do, frankly, except to keep Sawyer hydrated. He could get him to eat a bit, maybe, mash up some fruit. Jack puts a piece of ripe mango in a bowl, adds some bananas. He figures that all he can do is make Sawyer feel his presence, let him know that there is someone with him. So Jack talks out loud, just like he did when Sawyer talked back earlier.
"You hungry? I'm just going to mash you up some fruit here. When you wake up you're either going to get a kick out of me feeding you like a baby or be pissed beyond belief. But that's not important, really. I think you could get better faster if you ate a bit."
As the words trail into silence, Sawyer starts to stir and whisper something unintelligible. Jack leans over him, looking for eye movement or any other sign of consciousness.
"Sawyer? Are you awake?"
Sawyer whispers some more, thrashes his head from side to side as if he's fighting something. A nightmare probably, or hallucinations caused by the fever. Jack puts a cool cloth on Sawyer's forehead, who mumbles and then stills, his breathing gradually resuming a normal speed until he seems fast asleep again.
Jack sighs as he takes the damp cloth off Sawyer's forehead: it's still way too hot. He hates feeling helpless.
"Can you hear me? Sawyer?"
Sawyer doesnt' move, dead to the world. Jack feels the sudden urge to talk about his feelings, share them, hopes that by doing so the pressure inside his chest will lessen. It's not like he can confide to anyone here on the island, and he'll never get an occasion to talk to Sawyer about it. He's not even sure he'd want to, in fact. It's laughable but this occasion is all he has.
"I'm probably crazy to talk to you of all people about this Sawyer, but it doesn't matter, I just have to. I have a crush on..." He falters. "... someone and it just doesn't want to go away. Even if I know... even if I am convinced that it will never work out, that those feelings will never be shared." He pauses and just decides to get it all out. "Sawyer, if you only knew. You'd laugh at me, oh god! You'd find that hilarious. I know love isn't easy for anyone, not even you, but you go for what you want, I admire that. But me... me, I just know deep in my bones that I'll get hurt, whether I do something or not. And every time I look at.. that person, every time I feel something I shouldn't feel, it makes me sick."
Sawyer mumbles
"That's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard."
Startled, Jack freezes. Could it be that he's conscious?
"Sawyer?"
As if takes some effort to do so, Sawyer opens his eyes and squints, looks around a bit.
"I'm in a bunk-bed?"
Jack giggles, relieved to see finally some sign of improvement even if it could only be temporary.
"Yeah, you're in a bunk-bed."
There is hope in Sawyer's blue eyes when he looks at Jack
"Are we saved?"
He hates to crush that light right out, but Jack shakes his head
"No, Sawyer. Not yet."
He groans and sighs deeply as he closes his eyes.
"Figures. You sure?"
"Yeah. I'd have better pain meds to give you if we were saved. And decent antibiotics."
Without realizing it could be a problem, Sawyer tries to turn on his side and groans in pain. To regain his composure, he starts breathing exaggeratedly slower, gritting between tightly closed teeth.
"Son of a bitch!"
Jack pulls his chair closer and uses the back of his hand on Sawyer's forehead to evaluate if the fever broke. Although still hot, it does feel slightly better. But it could be only subjective because he sees Sawyer being alert enough. When Sawyer seems about to try moving his shoulder again, Jack stills him.
"Don't move it, not yet. Give it a bit of time."
Sawyer lets himself relax on the mattress, and Jack sees him try to swallow and wince.
"Come on, man. You have to drink a bit. Think you can do that?"
He nods, and Jack holds his head up a bit, trying to be as gentle as he can as he brings the glass to his lips. Afraid to tire him, Jack lets Sawyer go back down on his pillow after a couple of small gulps. Jack starts to mash the fruit he prepared earlier and sees that Sawyer is examining him thoughtfully. Jack smiles.
"Hungry?"
Sawyer shows some dimple.
"You're my personal nurse, then, huh?"
He can't help but to grin back.
"Yeah, no one wanted the job, and it's not like I had any choice, with the Hippocratic oath and everything."
Instead of generating more smiles like Jack though it would, Sawyer's eyes go to the side, avoiding contact as if troubled, or hurt even, and he feels bad. He never thought Sawyer would take it seriously.
"Ah, come on, that's not true. I had to kick Kate out, she was by your side since Eko brought you back. She was so worried. She'll be so happy to see you doing better."
Sawyer huffs and he looks at Jack again, smile coming back.
"Really? Ah well, what do you know..."
It seems that those two will finally stop dancing around each other and just admit what everyone could see in the first place, too bad it took Sawyer almost dying to prompt them to act. Jack cannot help but feel hurt none the less as he sees the stars line up. He's not sure how well he will cope with watching Kate and Sawyer become more then friends, from the sidelines. Even with the size of the island, they live in close quarters and it will be unavoidable that everything will be right in his face want it or not. Right behind that thought, Jack feels a pang of guilt: he should be happy for them, that's what real friends do, right? And if you care for someone, you want them to be happy, no matter what. That is the decent thing to feel, or what he supposes is. Bullshit. It hurts. Lost in his thoughts, it's only after a while that Jack notices Sawyer is looking at him closely, studying his expression.
"I can't believe I'm saying that but... well... sorry about that Doc."
Jack's eyebrows shoot up.
"What?"
Sawyer smirks.
"I know how you feel about Freckles, and if I was in your shoes... But don't worry. She's in love with you, not me. She'll run to you as soon as she realizes it."
It doesn't make any sense. Jack has seen cynics before, he's pretty good at it himself from time to time, but that takes the cake. Sawyer is literally throwing the woman he loves at him before anything has the chance of happening. He shakes his head in dismay as Sawyer goes on.
"Kate will be trailing you again in no time. She just loves feeling useful. Especially if it helps you."
"I don't know why you are saying that, man. She cares about you, a lot."
Sawyer smiles self derisively.
"Maybe... but not as much as she cares about you."
Jack's mind boggles.
"Why are you telling me that?"
"Awww. The things I'll do... I am still not sure if I'll tease you forever or pretend I forgot altogether, but I heard you earlier. Kate... she totally loves you back, you know. Me I'm just bothering her a bit. My natural charm and all of that."
Jack doesn't know if he should burst out laughing or hit the guy.
"Kate? I'm not in love with Kate!"
Sawyer squints.
"You're not?"
"NO! I mean I like her a lot, but not... forget it."
To his total embarrassment, Jack feels like he's blushing to what must be a deep shade of red. He gets defensive.
"And I don't understand why you are saying that, not with what you said..."
It's Sawyer's turn to look alarmed.
"I said something?"
"Yes, earlier. Seems it is confession time for everyone today. Lucky us."
Jack's cheeks are on fire and he looks at his feet, uncomfortable. One day, he'll just learn to keep his mouth shut.
"Oh man."
Sawyer looks positively distressed, which makes Jack roll his eyes.
"Come on, it's not like it's breaking news. Everyone sort of knew..."
Almost recoiling in the bed, Sawyer is gaping like a fish.
"Everyone knew?"
He can't believe that comes as a surprise.
"Well... yeah. You never really hid it very well in the first place."
"Fuck. You knew too?"
Jack is puzzled.
"Uh.... yeah?" He refrains adding 'by the way you always tried to get in her pants from day one, was quite obvious' even if it is burning his tongue.
After a second, Jack realizes that a flush is spreading on Sawyer's neck and up to his cheeks and it's not because of the fever. It's honest to god blushing, which is the most bizarre and surprising thing Jack ever saw. Either to distance himself from the conversation or to hide that weird manifestation of embarrassment, Sawyer puts his right elbow over his eyes.
"Shit. I'm totally losing it, if I could not see that you were reading me that well. I really thought you had no idea."
That? Doesn't make any sense. Jack exclaims
"How could I have missed it Sawyer? Geez you made sure to rub how you and Kate had this 'connection'..." He says with air quotes. "...every time you possibly could, just to make me mad!"
Sawyer stills, then peaks from under his arm.
"Come again?"
"Everyone on this island knows you have feelings for Kate, Sawyer, don't act like it's such a surprise! You said you loved her, it's not that big a deal! I won't tell her if you don't want to admit it, or some other shit."
Contrary to what Jack expects, Sawyer smiles and then starts to laugh softly.
"Kate? I said I loved Kate? Oh my god. I can't believe that. Jesus."
Jack's brows furrow. He doesn't love Kate? Who then? Claire? This conversation is so awkward, Jack puts his face in his hands and groans.
"I'm... oh God. In fact you just said 'I love her' and I assumed... It's none of my business, sorry."
Pushing on his knees, Jack stands up and the only thing he wants to do right now is to just get out, let this blow over, forget all about it.
"You know what? This is just... I'll let you rest Sawyer."
A hand on his thigh stops him, there for a second, before Sawyer lets him go. He's looking up at him, serious now.
"No, no, no. Something got mixed up somewhere. It was probably the fever talking, doc, you know you should not put too much value in delirium." Which is true. "But... well in fact... I think you should know."
Jack's first reaction is that he really doesn't want to know who the hell Sawyer loves. If it's not Kate it's someone else and it's the same fucking problem.
"What? Why should I know..."
As if it's a colossal burden, Sawyer sighs.
"See, I told myself that if I made it back here alive, I had to tell that person... no matter what happened, I had to get it out."
Jack sighs right back.
"You are braver than me, then. I think that's a great idea."
A scoff.
"You might change your opinion on that real soon."
"Why?"
There is something like a dare on Sawyer's face, as if he's challenging a reaction.
"What if I told you it was a guy?" Jack doesn't even have time to process that info that Sawyer continues. "What if I told you it was you?"
It's out before Jack thinks more of it.
"Whaaaa?"
Jaw set, shoulders squared as much as he can, Sawyer continues to drop A-bombs on him.
"I made it back alive, so here. I tell you. You drive me nuts. And not just because you are an arrogant annoying jerk."
Something must be funny, although he'd love to know what, because Sawyer starts smiling.
"Oh god, should see your face. Hey, it's okay, I'll get over it. I don't make a habit to hit on straight guys."
Jack falls down on the chair, legs wobbly, and is back to facepalming while the meanings of Sawyer's words finally sink in. Sawyer is not only saying he doesn't love Kate, but adds that he has feelings for him? Jack mumbles between his fingers.
"You sure you are not still delirious there?"
Sawyer laughs.
"No such luck, Doc. But I'd prefer if we just... kept this between ourselves. And never speak about it again."
That is a lot to ask.
"I am afraid I'm not going to be able to do that."
Sawyer groans.
"You can't read me for shit Sawyer."
"What?"
"If you think I'm totally straight, I'll say it again, you can't read me for shit."
Silence. There is a rapid succession of emotions on Sawyer's face before he settles on neutral and squints.
"I'm not sure I'm getting what you're trying to say here."
"I'm saying we're both idiots."
Sawyer snorts.
"We probably are. And what brought this epiphany?"
Better get it out now when he has the guts to and no time to over think.
"Because you drive me nuts too. And not just because you are a vain insufferable smartass."
It is kind of funny to see Sawyer at loss for words.
"Oh."
In a way, it is even worse. Sawyer is looking at him intently, wavering between looking thrilled and scared shitless. Jack's heart is beating on double time, and his guts are twisted in anguish. What now? Who does what? Jack waits, expecting Sawyer to be crass and possibly leer, make a bad joke or sexual innuendo, but to his surprise he doesn't. In fact, he puts his arm over his eyes again, as if he's trying to compose himself back. That doesn't tell Jack what to do, but sitting in silence with high voltage tension is not something he's up for. His eyes fall on the fruit on the bedside table.
"Huh. Are you hungry?"
Jack could kick himself, it's so lame. Sawyer grins and starts to chuckle. Jack can't help himself, he giggles too. Jack takes the bowl, turns to Sawyer.
"Come on. You have to get better. Lets put something into you."
Sawyer laughs at that and Jack realizes what he just said. He's absolutely mortified, he could not sound like a bigger moron if he even tried. He has to fight the urge to flee the room, the hatch and send someone to play nurse, hell Kate would do fine.
"You are so lucky I'm not all over that one."
"I can't believe you are not!"
Sawyer laughs some more and it is a thing of beauty.
"Come on, sit up a bit."
Jack helps Sawyer to settle against some pillows, not knowing how to handle the sudden proximity when just touching him is getting close to too much. It's awkward and hot and Jack has to resist the urge to just pounce on him. He's practically shaking, his heart jack hammering in his chest.
Sawyer's eyes are burning into Jack, and their touches linger a bit more than they should. Surprisingly, there is a lot of coyness: they don't directly meet eyes and if they do, Sawyer looks away quickly, as if he's afraid that Jack will flee any second. He's now sitting up, and Jack finally feeds a spoon full of mango to Sawyer. He cannot help it, Jack zeros in on Sawyer's mouth, his lips, at how his Adam apple bounces as he swallows. Resolute on his task, Jack scoops another spoon full but Sawyer shakes his head and stops his hand by grabbing his wrist. As they finally lock gazes, the moment fills with tension. Sawyer whispers.
"Come on. Kiss me already."
There is something that breaks free with that and Jack doesn't wait for any more invitation. He tosses the bowl aside and moves to sit on the bed next to Sawyer. Jack gently touches his cheek, drinking in his features, the sharp cheekbones, stubble, those incredible sea blue eyes. Sawyer tolerates the scrutiny without flinching, and his fingers tighten on Jack's wrist. He doesn't look nervous anymore, only patient, as he just gave the momentum over to Jack and is ready for whatever happens. He wets his lips though, a brief flash of pink tongue that Jack watches, fascinated.
Jack slowly leans down and softly touches Sawyer's lips with his own, a butterfly of a kiss. He does it again, this time a bit more firmly. Sawyer answers to the pressure and kisses him back, and when Jack draws away, Sawyer follows a bit. Jack delves again and Sawyer's hand quits his wrist to grip at Jack's t-shirt collar, using it to pull and bring him closer, to stop him from pulling back again. Jack angles his head and when he uses the tip of his tongue to caress Sawyer's lower lip, he opens up immediately, granting access and Jack goes for it, finally, licking in Sawyer's mouth.
Sawyer groans low in his throat, making the hair in the back of Jack's neck raise. When their tongues meet, wet, soft, it's a myriad of sensations all better than the ones before. It's intense and it makes Jack want more, way more, and he has to restrain not to lie all of his weight on Sawyer. He's hard, impossibly so, aching, wanting. Sawyer's hand leaves Jack's shirt and finds its way behind his neck, pulling him still closer, kneading in the short hair of Jack's nape. Jack knows he's near the point of where he won't be able to stop and Sawyer is too weak to put energy in something like sex right now. There will be time for that later, and the thought alone makes Jack dizzy. He kisses Sawyer for a minute or so more, enjoying every single second, the taste of him, his smell even if a little sour from being sick, his skin still too hot but so soft.
With a supreme effort of will, he pulls away from Sawyer, and drinks in the dazed eyes and the full and freshly kissed lips. Jack's smile is met by a grin.
"Better?"
"Hell yeah!"
"We should take it easy."
Sawyer almost pouts and barely stifles a whine.
"Ah, come on."
Jack shakes his head.
"Just hurry to get better, okay. I don't want to hurt you."
"I can assure you I was not hurting!"
Jack sits up, does his best to convince himself it's better than touching more. To further distance himself from temptation, he shifts from the bed to the chair again.
"Just... you almost died Sawyer."
Reluctantly, Sawyer nods and he sags back on his pillow, watching Jack from half lidded eyes. There is a little smile playing on his lips and Jack rolls his eyes.
"What is it?"
"I'm wondering how I never noticed I was getting to you. I must be totally losing it."
Jack snort laughs.
"And when don't you get to someone? I think everyone on this island has either a crush on you or loves to hate you."
There is no mistaking, Sawyer looks proud of that.
"Hey, better that than to be invisible."
"There is nothing wrong in being invisible."
Sawyer shakes his head.
"Yeah, there is. But how would you know? I'd bet you never were invisible. But that's not the point."
"And the point would be?"
Sawyer looks around.
"Where the hell are we?"
Jack laughs derisively.
"We are still on the island, in a hatch that Locke found and dug up, we opened it with dynamite." Sawyer raises his eyebrows. Jack waves a bit. "Long story. It looks as if we've stepped it a time machine or an old mad scientist movie."
Sawyer straightens with a pained grunt and throws his legs over the side of the bed, now sitting in front of Jack.
"Hey, hey, what are you doing?"
Sawyer puts a hand on the night table and Jack can see that he's about to stand up.
"I gotta see that for myself."
"That's not a good idea, you should rest. You'll see it later."
Of course it's not going to be that easy.
"Hey, you help me or you don't, but I need to get out of that bed."
And of course there is no way to convince him otherwise. Jack decides that it's probably more efficient to help Sawyer around and get him ASAP back to rest than to fight him on this. So he hooks one of Sawyer's arms over his shoulders and helps him up.
It is comforting for Jack that even if he has to help him walk through the hatch, Sawyer can hold most of his own weight and doesn't waver. Sawyer is physically strong, he'll get out of this fine, of that he is pretty sure now. And if Sawyer is leaning a bit more than necessary, it's maybe not totally because he needs it to stand up but a need to touch that goes beyond that. Jack sure feels the same, enjoys it even, so he doesn't argue. They pass through the kitchen, and Sawyer exclaims.
"You've got to be kidding me."
He still thinks the hatch story is a joke, like Jack would ever try to make up something that just to mess with his head. There is only one solution: shrug and let him see with his own two eyes
"Air lock's over this way."
Sawyer is smirking, leaning hard on Jack.
"Come on, admit it, we've been rescued."
Jack opens the hatch's door, trying to keep it ajar and hold its weight. The humidity and heat hit them immediately.
"You got it? Sorry. Watch yourself."
Sawyer looks around, sees the jungle and the wind goes out of him at once.
"Son of a bitch."
He's unsteady and Jack worries that he could fall. Not a brilliant idea to be out and about less than 30 minutes after coming to from a near death experience. What a stubborn ass.
"Watch yourself, okay?"
Sawyer sits down on a rock.
"Oh, got it." Sighs. "Home sweet home."
It's bitter sweet, but Jack can only agree.
"Yeah."
Sawyer looks at him and he frowns.
"I really thought you were yanking my chain. What do you keep smiling at?"
Jack cannot tell him that he's so glad that he's back, that he's happy he's alive, that he's delirious that they will have a chance, so he says the first thing that goes through his mind.
"You need a haircut."
Sawyer's eyebrows shoot up.
"Oh, really?"
It's true. Sawyer cannot look bad, it would take more than that, but he is disheveled and yes, a haircut would do him some good. He winks at Sawyer.
"Don't worry, I won't shave your hair off in your sleep." Sawyer does a mock horror face, or maybe there is some real fear in there, so Jack continues. "Cut it a bit, just a bit. Okay, that's it, we're getting you inside now. You have to rest."
"Okay Doc."
Jack goes to Sawyer and hauls him up, and while he's pushing at the hatch door to bring him in, Sawyer muses aloud, smiling mischievously.
"I don't think I should have it cut much either." Jack doesn't even have time to answer that Sawyer is leaning even closer and whispering hotly in his hear. "You'll need some grip at one point, right?"
Jack almost trips at that, images rushing to his head and blood going in the completely opposite direction. Sawyer's loud happy laughter makes Jack grin, shaking his head.
This possible relationship, fling or whatever with Sawyer? It will be a hell of a ride, of that Jack is sure. And he promises himself to enjoy every minute of it.
The End.