for the Queen Toestastegood: Out of Body (Sawyer, Charlie)
This spring, in the hiatus forced by the writer's strike, there was a challenge at
lostsquee and one of the prompt that tempted me a whole lot was "bodyswap". Sadly, the muse was MIA at the time.
right now, it seems the muse does want to come out to play right in time for the Luau, at
lostsquee again. And today's Queen, the fabulous
toestastegood, asked for anything Charlie Pace. here is my offering where I combine both.
Out of Body, Sawyer, Charlie, PG-13, 1049 words (set in S4 or more)
Summary: Sawyer finds a double of himself in his tent. Or is it something else entirely?
Warning: crack!fic of the highest order. it is sadly unbetaed, so if you want to tell me my errors, please do!
Well shit.
That was a new one, for sure. How in hell he went from lying in his tent to standing outside of it without even remembering getting up, he had no idea.
Sawyer shook his head to clear it and thought about heading towards the kitchen, but he wasn't really hungry. Not starving would have felt good if it wasn't so weird. The day took a turn towards surreal when a whisper came from his tent.
"Hey, hey, Sawyer! You better come in here!"
Wha... Who the fuck was in his tent? Ready to rip whomever it was a new one, Sawyer scowled and ducked under the tarp but stopped short when faced with himself, sporting a big dopey smile and talking a mile an hour.
"It worked, I can't believe it bloody worked!" His double flailed. Flailing was really not a good look on him, he distantly thought, mouth still gaping in shock. "I had to wait until you were asleep but it was like ripping you out and jumping in, and then tah dah!"
Sawyer blinked, and then tackled the lunatic who looked like him on the cot before closing his hands around his throat. It generated a satisfying squeal from the other man who instantly went still.
"Who the fuck are you?" Sawyer hissed.
His double raised his hands slowly on either side of his head in the universal gesture of surrender so Sawyer let a bit of slack on his windpipe to hear what he had to say.
"Whoa, and you can touch me! Well yourself!"
He wasn't making any sense. Was it a clone? Was most probably a nightmare though, or he had just lost his mind.
"I repeat, and this time you better answer: who. The fuck. Are you?"
"It's me, man, Charlie! Charlie Pace!"
He must have made a face because the double started giggling... and he didn't giggle, okay? That was impossible and looked silly. So he let the man go and sat back, as if it made sense.
"Oh. Charlie. Right. Of course. Why didn't I think of that."
Sawyer swung his best left and hit whomever it was right in the ribs, knocking the wind out of the intruder who again squealed like a girl.
"Ow! No, no! Don’t hit me, you'll hurt yourself, come on! It's really me, I swear man! I might be sort of possessing you right now, but..."
It just kept getting better. Sawyer raised a hand in the air, stopping the flow of words.
"Possessing me."
Eyes round, eyebrows shooting up and biting his lip, the lunatic looked uneasy.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry?"
"That doesn't make sense. If you are Charlie, possessing me, why is there two of us? Of me? God I can't believe I'm talking with you and not killing you right now."
"There aren't two of you Sawyer!"
Enough was enough, and Sawyer reached for his gun by the bed just as the other said "You're the ghost now!" and right on cue, his fingers went through the metal. Right through, nice and clear. Again, and again and it was the strangest feeling in the world. He hit the other guy some more, and satisfied to feel it, tried again to no avail. Highly frustrating.
"Ow! Hey, stop it! Okay so you can touch me, well yourself, but nothing else."
"You're shitting me."
"No, I'm not. And I'd bet that no one sees you but me."
Sawyer tried to touch the suitcase with his clothes, then the tarp above his head and his hand went through both. Alarmed, he crawled out of his double's lap (and that was a concept he didn't want to explore right now) and got out of his tent. Doing so he literally stepped through Bernard, who had no reaction. Not even a flinch.
No. Just no! That was totally unacceptable. Sawyer ducked back into his tent and pointed at.. at his body now laying down propped on his elbows and smirking up at him. Did he always look that obnoxious? He felt the urge to punch himself on the nose right then and there.
"Get out."
That made it lose his smile.
"What?"
"Get out of my body right the fuck now!"
Charlie had the nerves to make his face pout. Just that was a capital offence.
"Aww, come on! You don't know how frustrating it is to be a ghost, no one ever hears you, no way to touch anything... Can I just stay for a couple of hours?"
"No. Out."
With a long suffering sigh, Charlie laid back and gestured him to come over.
"I think it will be easier if you come here and stretch on top of me. Of you."
Raising his eyebrows, Sawyer did as he was asked and it was pretty surreal to look down into his own face while flush with himself. Of course Charlie could not keep his mouth shut.
"This is kind of kinky."
"I could seriously hurt you Charlie. Trust me. Might not be able to shoot ya, but..."
"Okay, okay, geez! Bossy much? I'll try now. Ready?"
"You don't try it. You do it. C'mon."
Something suddenly flipped and if he let out a yelp of surprise, it can't honestly be held against him. Blinking, he looked up and there was Charlie, sitting up and sighing again. That was all kind of fucked up, for sure. An honest to god ghost had kicked him out of his own body. Only on Craphole Island, Ladies and Gentlemen. He reached down and took a handful of sand, reassuring himself that he was corporeal again, then squinted at Charlie.
"What the fuck did you think, pulling a stunt like that on me? And is there a hair salon for the dead around here?"
Charlie's eyes went round, then he grinned.
"You can see me?"
As he could feel Charlie's weight on his lap, he guessed that he could touch him too and he cuffed him behind the head.
"Sure can, sport."
Throwing his hand in the air, Charlie whooped and laughed and it made Sawyer smile.
"Can't believe I'm saying this, but it's nice to see you Casper."
Charlie patted him on the chest and his smile was wide.
"Glad you can, mate. So glad you can."
End
lostsquee and one of the prompt that tempted me a whole lot was "bodyswap". Sadly, the muse was MIA at the time.
right now, it seems the muse does want to come out to play right in time for the Luau, at
lostsquee again. And today's Queen, the fabulous
toestastegood, asked for anything Charlie Pace. here is my offering where I combine both.
Out of Body, Sawyer, Charlie, PG-13, 1049 words (set in S4 or more)
Summary: Sawyer finds a double of himself in his tent. Or is it something else entirely?
Warning: crack!fic of the highest order. it is sadly unbetaed, so if you want to tell me my errors, please do!
Well shit.
That was a new one, for sure. How in hell he went from lying in his tent to standing outside of it without even remembering getting up, he had no idea.
Sawyer shook his head to clear it and thought about heading towards the kitchen, but he wasn't really hungry. Not starving would have felt good if it wasn't so weird. The day took a turn towards surreal when a whisper came from his tent.
"Hey, hey, Sawyer! You better come in here!"
Wha... Who the fuck was in his tent? Ready to rip whomever it was a new one, Sawyer scowled and ducked under the tarp but stopped short when faced with himself, sporting a big dopey smile and talking a mile an hour.
"It worked, I can't believe it bloody worked!" His double flailed. Flailing was really not a good look on him, he distantly thought, mouth still gaping in shock. "I had to wait until you were asleep but it was like ripping you out and jumping in, and then tah dah!"
Sawyer blinked, and then tackled the lunatic who looked like him on the cot before closing his hands around his throat. It generated a satisfying squeal from the other man who instantly went still.
"Who the fuck are you?" Sawyer hissed.
His double raised his hands slowly on either side of his head in the universal gesture of surrender so Sawyer let a bit of slack on his windpipe to hear what he had to say.
"Whoa, and you can touch me! Well yourself!"
He wasn't making any sense. Was it a clone? Was most probably a nightmare though, or he had just lost his mind.
"I repeat, and this time you better answer: who. The fuck. Are you?"
"It's me, man, Charlie! Charlie Pace!"
He must have made a face because the double started giggling... and he didn't giggle, okay? That was impossible and looked silly. So he let the man go and sat back, as if it made sense.
"Oh. Charlie. Right. Of course. Why didn't I think of that."
Sawyer swung his best left and hit whomever it was right in the ribs, knocking the wind out of the intruder who again squealed like a girl.
"Ow! No, no! Don’t hit me, you'll hurt yourself, come on! It's really me, I swear man! I might be sort of possessing you right now, but..."
It just kept getting better. Sawyer raised a hand in the air, stopping the flow of words.
"Possessing me."
Eyes round, eyebrows shooting up and biting his lip, the lunatic looked uneasy.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry?"
"That doesn't make sense. If you are Charlie, possessing me, why is there two of us? Of me? God I can't believe I'm talking with you and not killing you right now."
"There aren't two of you Sawyer!"
Enough was enough, and Sawyer reached for his gun by the bed just as the other said "You're the ghost now!" and right on cue, his fingers went through the metal. Right through, nice and clear. Again, and again and it was the strangest feeling in the world. He hit the other guy some more, and satisfied to feel it, tried again to no avail. Highly frustrating.
"Ow! Hey, stop it! Okay so you can touch me, well yourself, but nothing else."
"You're shitting me."
"No, I'm not. And I'd bet that no one sees you but me."
Sawyer tried to touch the suitcase with his clothes, then the tarp above his head and his hand went through both. Alarmed, he crawled out of his double's lap (and that was a concept he didn't want to explore right now) and got out of his tent. Doing so he literally stepped through Bernard, who had no reaction. Not even a flinch.
No. Just no! That was totally unacceptable. Sawyer ducked back into his tent and pointed at.. at his body now laying down propped on his elbows and smirking up at him. Did he always look that obnoxious? He felt the urge to punch himself on the nose right then and there.
"Get out."
That made it lose his smile.
"What?"
"Get out of my body right the fuck now!"
Charlie had the nerves to make his face pout. Just that was a capital offence.
"Aww, come on! You don't know how frustrating it is to be a ghost, no one ever hears you, no way to touch anything... Can I just stay for a couple of hours?"
"No. Out."
With a long suffering sigh, Charlie laid back and gestured him to come over.
"I think it will be easier if you come here and stretch on top of me. Of you."
Raising his eyebrows, Sawyer did as he was asked and it was pretty surreal to look down into his own face while flush with himself. Of course Charlie could not keep his mouth shut.
"This is kind of kinky."
"I could seriously hurt you Charlie. Trust me. Might not be able to shoot ya, but..."
"Okay, okay, geez! Bossy much? I'll try now. Ready?"
"You don't try it. You do it. C'mon."
Something suddenly flipped and if he let out a yelp of surprise, it can't honestly be held against him. Blinking, he looked up and there was Charlie, sitting up and sighing again. That was all kind of fucked up, for sure. An honest to god ghost had kicked him out of his own body. Only on Craphole Island, Ladies and Gentlemen. He reached down and took a handful of sand, reassuring himself that he was corporeal again, then squinted at Charlie.
"What the fuck did you think, pulling a stunt like that on me? And is there a hair salon for the dead around here?"
Charlie's eyes went round, then he grinned.
"You can see me?"
As he could feel Charlie's weight on his lap, he guessed that he could touch him too and he cuffed him behind the head.
"Sure can, sport."
Throwing his hand in the air, Charlie whooped and laughed and it made Sawyer smile.
"Can't believe I'm saying this, but it's nice to see you Casper."
Charlie patted him on the chest and his smile was wide.
"Glad you can, mate. So glad you can."
End