Fragments of "The Blood of Me"

[gracemyspine]

[I FINALLY got started on this one! the fic is in the works dri =) It is now crawling around my hard drive in skeletal outline form

Comments

[beigekhakis]

I like its start, but the last paragraph sounds like you talking to yourself. I don't know if that's how you want it to sound, but I would consider taking it out. The paragraph I mean, wink.

[gracemyspine]

What is it specifically? Too many I's? Or just a general feeling--does it not "fit" with the rest? Because the 2 nd paragraph has a lot of those too. I'm going to be working on this quite a bit, off and on.

thanks for stopping by, it means a lot to me. I enjoy your writing very much, what little I've had time to read anyway.

[beigekhakis]

Your last paragraph of the piece (not the part Capitalized) sounds like rambling. I dont' see the point of it. Sorry.

It just doesn't sound like the first two paragraphs , either.

Have you ever read Virginia Woolf's work, To the LIghthouse?
You may like it. Paul

[gracemyspine]

I've actually read To the Lighthouse and A Room of One's Own. I enjoyed them both, she's fabulous. I like to speak of all author's work in the present tense--everyone is alive and well in my mind, and having a smashing time =)

[aquandrian]

PS. Yay for the skeletal fic but no pressure at all from me ... if you're happy and writing --- whatever it may be --- then all's well with the world. Yay for NaNo!

[gracemyspine]

Oh my! It's started hasn't it? Woohoo! I'll be in touch.

[gracemyspine]

paul,

hmm...I think you're right. I may ditch it and keep a few lines, try to make it fit better. I was going for a sort of dream like quality, I may have veered off track a bit in that last paragraph.

Thanks =)

[beigekhakis]

! smiles

[gracemyspine]

=) right back.