Through Each Moment (BSG, Kara/Sam)
Title: Through Each Moment
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders
Written for lostinapapercupfor the pyramidofdreams fic exchange with the prompt “Five Times Sam knew Kara really loved him.”
A/N: The book passage at the end is from “The Time Traveler’s Wife.”
1.
The day she left him was the day he knew she loved him.
He knew it would sound crazy to anyone else, but to his mind, it made perfect sense. Kara Thrace leaving Caprica gave him a way to provide hope and encouragement to his people at a time when they needed it most. Her departure represented a promise to them that she would come back for them. Remembering her, the heartbreak written plain across her face as they said their goodbyes, gave him the push he needed to keep fighting, the will to survive just one more day. The practical side of him didn’t expect he’d ever see her again.
The cool metal of the dog tag in his hand told him otherwise.
2.
The day she told him a ring just wouldn’t do, Sam knew Kara loved him.
It had been a week since their spontaneous wedding, and much of their free time in that period had been spent discussing rings. Over breakfast that morning, Kara finally threw her hands up in the air and told him a ring just “wasn’t permanent enough.” If he thought that was an odd sentiment, her tattoo idea seemed downright insane. But the more she talked, the more Sam understood. She loved him; she wanted to make sure he would always know that, just as he already knew she wasn’t the kind of woman who could be with just one man forever.
It was the kind of chance he was willing to take.
3.
The day she painted him a picture for the first time, he knew she loved him.
Kara Thrace was a creative soul; Sam had realized that early on. But it wasn’t until they started living together on New Caprica that he learned just how much she valued her painting. It was an emotional release for her, much like sex. It was also a private and quiet thing - not at all like sex. She didn’t always let him see her finished art, and he didn’t always know what she did with the paintings when she was done. When he came back from work late one night to find her sitting quietly in their tent, waiting for him, he was initially apprehensive. But then she’d gently, almost shyly, handed him a canvas that took his breath away. The image of an intense pyramid game was so full of color and life, Sam thought he could study it for hours and still find something new to be amazed by.
In that way, the painting reminded him of Kara herself.
4.
The day she thanked him was the day Sam knew she loved him.
The Demetrius mission hadn’t been going as planned; they were running out of time, and everyone on board knew it. Kara’s frustration made it even harder than usual to talk to her, but Sam wouldn’t give up. Finally, after yet another exhaustive argument with the crew, Sam found her in her quarters, sprawled across the cool metal floor. Wordlessly, he sat down next to her and simply let his hand travel through the tips of her hair. Eventually, she turned her head and met his gaze.
“Thanks for still believing in me, Sam,” she whispered quietly. He didn’t reply, just gave her a soft smile and continued running his hand through her hair.
To himself, he thought perhaps those few words were enough to make it all worth it.
5.
The day she read him a book, Sam knew that Kara truly loved him.
Most of the time, he felt as if his consciousness was just floating somewhere around him, the same way his body seemed to float in the Cylon tub. But whenever she entered the room, her presence seemed to ground him, and he could actually focus - more or less - on what she was saying. This particular day her voice sounded almost hesitant as she spoke of overhearing the Old Man reading to the President, and how the ‘Old Kara’ and ‘Old Sam’ would never have been so sappy. (He wasn’t so sure. He wished he could argue the point.) Regardless, the idea had inspired her, and so she’d dug out one of her favorite novels and brought it here to share with him. But it wasn’t until her voice caught and she tripped over her own emotion that Sam could actually understand distinctive words.
“Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?”
Sam found himself absently wondering if she chose this book deliberately, or if she had forgotten that it would hit so close to home. Kara managed to read a few more lines before the soft sobs overwhelmed her. He could hear the book being placed on the floor, could feel her breath as she leaned close to rest her forehead against his. She didn’t say anything else that day. She didn’t need to.
Sam knew, somehow, that time was almost up. He also knew that Kara Thrace loved him, and that knowledge would be enough to see him through to the other side.
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders
Written for lostinapapercupfor the pyramidofdreams fic exchange with the prompt “Five Times Sam knew Kara really loved him.”
A/N: The book passage at the end is from “The Time Traveler’s Wife.”
1.
The day she left him was the day he knew she loved him.
He knew it would sound crazy to anyone else, but to his mind, it made perfect sense. Kara Thrace leaving Caprica gave him a way to provide hope and encouragement to his people at a time when they needed it most. Her departure represented a promise to them that she would come back for them. Remembering her, the heartbreak written plain across her face as they said their goodbyes, gave him the push he needed to keep fighting, the will to survive just one more day. The practical side of him didn’t expect he’d ever see her again.
The cool metal of the dog tag in his hand told him otherwise.
2.
The day she told him a ring just wouldn’t do, Sam knew Kara loved him.
It had been a week since their spontaneous wedding, and much of their free time in that period had been spent discussing rings. Over breakfast that morning, Kara finally threw her hands up in the air and told him a ring just “wasn’t permanent enough.” If he thought that was an odd sentiment, her tattoo idea seemed downright insane. But the more she talked, the more Sam understood. She loved him; she wanted to make sure he would always know that, just as he already knew she wasn’t the kind of woman who could be with just one man forever.
It was the kind of chance he was willing to take.
3.
The day she painted him a picture for the first time, he knew she loved him.
Kara Thrace was a creative soul; Sam had realized that early on. But it wasn’t until they started living together on New Caprica that he learned just how much she valued her painting. It was an emotional release for her, much like sex. It was also a private and quiet thing - not at all like sex. She didn’t always let him see her finished art, and he didn’t always know what she did with the paintings when she was done. When he came back from work late one night to find her sitting quietly in their tent, waiting for him, he was initially apprehensive. But then she’d gently, almost shyly, handed him a canvas that took his breath away. The image of an intense pyramid game was so full of color and life, Sam thought he could study it for hours and still find something new to be amazed by.
In that way, the painting reminded him of Kara herself.
4.
The day she thanked him was the day Sam knew she loved him.
The Demetrius mission hadn’t been going as planned; they were running out of time, and everyone on board knew it. Kara’s frustration made it even harder than usual to talk to her, but Sam wouldn’t give up. Finally, after yet another exhaustive argument with the crew, Sam found her in her quarters, sprawled across the cool metal floor. Wordlessly, he sat down next to her and simply let his hand travel through the tips of her hair. Eventually, she turned her head and met his gaze.
“Thanks for still believing in me, Sam,” she whispered quietly. He didn’t reply, just gave her a soft smile and continued running his hand through her hair.
To himself, he thought perhaps those few words were enough to make it all worth it.
5.
The day she read him a book, Sam knew that Kara truly loved him.
Most of the time, he felt as if his consciousness was just floating somewhere around him, the same way his body seemed to float in the Cylon tub. But whenever she entered the room, her presence seemed to ground him, and he could actually focus - more or less - on what she was saying. This particular day her voice sounded almost hesitant as she spoke of overhearing the Old Man reading to the President, and how the ‘Old Kara’ and ‘Old Sam’ would never have been so sappy. (He wasn’t so sure. He wished he could argue the point.) Regardless, the idea had inspired her, and so she’d dug out one of her favorite novels and brought it here to share with him. But it wasn’t until her voice caught and she tripped over her own emotion that Sam could actually understand distinctive words.
“Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?”
Sam found himself absently wondering if she chose this book deliberately, or if she had forgotten that it would hit so close to home. Kara managed to read a few more lines before the soft sobs overwhelmed her. He could hear the book being placed on the floor, could feel her breath as she leaned close to rest her forehead against his. She didn’t say anything else that day. She didn’t need to.
Sam knew, somehow, that time was almost up. He also knew that Kara Thrace loved him, and that knowledge would be enough to see him through to the other side.