Almost Everything 6/15 [Lure Big Bang]
Almost Everything Master Post
Chapter Six
After an hour in his study, Reid thought it would be safe to come out. He didn’t know how to act around Luke. They weren’t friends. They’d gone from antagonists to spouses. Then Luke had to say that the way Reid was talking to him was like a husband and his first instinct was to run. Actually, Reid had wanted to run a little sooner when he realized he wanted his husband. Attraction was something he could deal with. In the past, he would give in and move on. But he wasn’t sure if Luke wanted him back. Sometimes Reid would feel Luke’s gaze linger, and there was no denying Luke had kissed him back at their wedding. There was also the fact that his husband was in love with another man. Giving into an attraction…well, he knew Luke would never allow himself to do that. And Luke couldn’t move on either. They had agreed to a minimum of six months, and they were barely one month in.
Deciding to at least pretend to be a grown-up, Reid grabbed his plate and headed for the kitchen. On his way past the living room, he saw Luke sitting on the couch.
“How are you doing?” Reid asked him.
Luke jumped slightly. He’d been lost in his own thoughts and hadn’t heard Reid walk by. “What?”
“Did I wake you?”
“No.” The younger man shook his head. “Every time I close my eyes I think about what ‘complications’ can mean.”
He sighed. “Luke, you really need to rest.”
He stood up and walked over to Reid. “This coming from the man who just spent the last twenty-four hours saving lives.” He gave his husband a rueful smile.
Reid crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn’t sure where Luke was going with this, and he didn’t want the younger man to think of him as something extraordinary. He didn’t want Luke’s gratitude; he just wanted…well, it didn’t matter what he wanted. “I also slept in the doctor’s lounge. Besides, you learn to sleep when and where you can once you start your residency. I know it’s a cliché, but if you want to help Noah, you need to rest.”
“I know, I just…” Luke shoved his hands into his pockets. “Nothing.”
He started to walk past Reid, but the redhead reached out and grabbed Luke by the arm. He tugged slightly, and Luke found himself staring into Reid’s blue eyes. There was barely any space between them.
“Talk to me,” Reid instructed.
Maybe it was the close proximity or maybe he just wanted to be honest. “I think I need you,” Luke admitted.
The doctor’s eyes widened slightly. He searched Luke’s face, trying to be certain he had heard the younger man correctly. “What do you need me to do?”
Luke tried to pull away, but Reid’s grip tightened. “I couldn’t sleep last night. I keep telling myself it was because of Noah’s surgery, and that was part of it. But I kept listening for you to come home. And it’s stupid, right? To think of this place…” He looked past Reid to the room behind them. “Well, to think of it as home and not just part of the arrangement. And I shouldn’t even been thinking about that sort of thing, because Noah-”
Reid’s hand fell to his side. “Right.” Noah would always be there, and Reid had to accept that. “Try to get some rest,” he told Luke and started to walk past him.
Luke watched Reid walk away and felt even more alone. He knew he’d said the wrong thing, but he had to bring up Noah. He couldn’t let himself think about Reid or give into his need to be around him either. Luke knew that things were over between him and Noah, but those feelings didn’t disappear; even though he had started to move on. But he wasn’t sure where he was moving on to, and he didn’t know if he was being lead toward Reid.
Picking up the doctor’s disregarded plate, Luke went into the kitchen and put it away. He remembered Reid’s note from the previous evening and set up the coffee machine as well.
Reid went through the motions of getting ready for bed. The whole time he mentally berated himself for his stupidity. He knew Luke’s feelings for Noah. He didn’t expect to compete (because how could he?), but he couldn’t help thinking about more with his husband. He knew he shouldn’t especially after the day they’d had.
He pulled back the covers, and the look on Luke’s face flashed before his eyes. “Dammit,” he muttered.
Luke had just finished setting his alarm when he heard a knock on his bedroom door. “Come in,” he called.
Reid opened the door, and Luke smiled softly at him. He suspected the doctor slept in his scrubs, so he was surprised to see his husband in a t-shirt and boxers. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, he asked, “Reid?”
The redhead walked further into the room and stopped when his knees hit the edge of the bed. “What do you need?”
Luke’s face scrunched in confusion. Reid had come to his room, not the other way around. “I figured you need something. Isn’t that why you’re here?”
It took everything Reid had not to run away. “Earlier…” he swallowed. He knew being this close to Luke would be difficult, especially since all he wanted to do was climb into that bed and see if Luke was just as attracted to Reid as Reid was to him. “You said you need me. For what?”
“I’m not sure,” Luke admitted.
“Fine.” This was difficult enough being around Luke and not touching him but to add a discussion about feelings? Reid almost shuddered as he turned to leave.
“Stay with me?” Luke’s voice, soft and broken, called after Reid.
He stopped with his back still to his husband, and Reid was almost certain he hadn’t heard Luke correctly. “What?”
“Just stay with me…for a few minutes…or until I fall asleep?”
Reid didn’t see the nervous lip biting or hopeful expression. By the time he turned back, Luke had schooled his features into a placid expression.
“Do you want me to get you a glass of warm milk and read you a bed time story as well?” the older man queried, crossing his arms over his chest. Did Luke want a husband or a babysitter?
“Katie told me about the singing.” Luke grinned.
“I’m going to kill her,” he muttered.
Luke laughed at that. “I think it’s sweet. You’re really great with Jacob.”
“Yeah, well, the kid makes it easy. Luke-”
“It’s so quiet here,” Luke cut him off. “You’re always working, and I’m still trying to figure out how to run a shipping company. And…I miss my family. Ethan wanting to play, trying to help Natalie with her homework.”
Reid couldn’t explain that part of why he kept his distance was he didn’t want to get more involved then he already was. He didn’t realize though that Luke had already started to work his way into Reid’s life. What he liked to call attraction could easily turn into so much more.
“I don’t do small talk,” Reid replied, edging his way back toward the bed.
“I know.”
“And if you want your siblings to come over, well…” He sighed, as images of young children running around their house started to form. He’d never admit it, but a small part of him would like it-if only because it would make Luke happy. “Well, that’s fine with me. It’s not like you’re a prisoner here.”
“I know, I just didn’t want to bother you.”
Maybe you should try not breathing then, Reid thought because everything about his husband affected him. “It’s not a bother. And…” He looked at Luke for a moment. Maybe it’s the eyes, he realized. Whenever Reid looked into Luke’s eyes, he had difficulty denying him anything. “I could sit here for a few minutes until you fall sleep.”
“Thank you.” He smiled gratefully.
Reid stood for a moment, watching as Luke got settled more into the bed. He had to smile when his husband patted the left side of the bed, encouraging Reid to join him. He climbed into the bed and sat with his back resting against Luke’s headboard. The blonde was lying next to him, his head on the pillow by Reid’s thighs.
“So…” Reid began. He clasped and unclasped his hands a few times.
Luke turned and looked at him. He found it a little disconcerting to be laying next to Reid in this way. He sat up, his back resting against the headboard as well and his shoulder brushed against the redhead’s.
“I don’t do small talk,” Reid reminded him. “And I still haven’t gotten that flow chart about your family tree.”
Despite himself, Luke chuckled. He wasn’t sure what was going on. Reid had agreed to help him, and yet he was doing everything in his power to make Luke uncomfortable. “Why did you marry me?” he asked, the words slipping past his lips, and he felt Reid bristle beside him.
“Why did you ask me?”
“I asked you first,” Luke replied.
Reid’s head swiveled to look at the blonde. “Are you six?”
Luke turned as well. “Why aren’t you answering the question?” He smirked and cocked an eyebrow.
Reid shook his head and focused his attention away from Luke again. The blonde could argue with the best of them, and Reid didn’t want to stay any longer than necessary. It was dangerous enough just sitting next to him on the bed, even with Luke under the covers while Reid was on top of them. He thought it would be best to answer the younger man’s question and leave. “You said you needed to get married so we could get the Snyder Pavilion built,” Reid answered. “I agreed to stay in this town because I was told I would get a neurology wing built to my specifications. I wasn’t about to let that go.”
“So it was all for the money?” Luke didn’t even bother to hide the hurt in his voice. He knew they weren’t in love, but he felt something for Reid. He always hoped people liked or respected him for himself and not the money. To have Reid of all people want to use him, Luke felt physically ill-like all the air was being sucked from his body.
Reid didn’t lie, and he didn’t play games. He wasn’t sure what Luke was getting at, but he wasn’t going to tip toe around the young man either. He wondered if he would get the same response from Luke. “Not just the money,” he admitted. But he wasn’t ready to share any more, mostly because he wasn’t sure what there was to explain. He was attracted to Luke, but most of their conversations revolved around Noah. Reid wasn’t going to be a consolation prize (although he felt like it with this marriage), and he wasn’t going to chase after a 22-year-old kid either. “Why did you choose me? And it has to be more than the fact that I’m gay. Please tell me you know more than two gay people in town,” Reid countered.
Luke looked at him for a moment. Reid wasn’t using him, well maybe not more then Luke was using Reid. A small smile graced the blonde’s features. “Well, Oakdale isn’t exactly a gay mecca, that’s for sure. But you had something invested in making this work, at least for now, with the wing.”
His gaze met Luke’s. “You figured I’d be in it for the money?” He tried to ignore the feeling in his gut, like there was a knife being twisted.
“No.” The blonde shook his head, his eyes locking on Reid’s face until he looked back at Luke. “No,” he insisted. He never expected Reid to be a user, not until that momentary concern, but Reid had quickly dispelled Luke’s fears. Now it was time to return the favor. “I trust you,” Luke admitted, surprising even himself. “I knew that you never fail and I knew that…even though this is still new and really scary for me, I knew you wouldn’t let me screw it up.”
When Luke said things like that, it was difficult for Reid to think about being noble and not wanting to push. People looked up to him. They looked to him for answers and knowledge. They looked to him to fix their loved ones, make someone better. Reid was used to that, and he expected it as well. He was the best. But to have someone trust him enough…to think that Reid wouldn’t screw this up, whatever “this was”…he wasn’t so sure about being noble.
“Luke?”
“I can’t figure you out,” the blonde admitted, and his gaze moved from Reid’s eyes to his mouth.
“What do you want to know?” As soon as Reid said those words, he jumped slightly. He didn’t like to share. He didn’t get people, and he didn’t have relationships. He had his work, and he had food. Those were the things he understood, and that was where he excelled. He could crack open a brain and make someone better than they ever were. He could make a world-class sandwich. Exposing his feelings and talking about himself, these weren’t things he did, but there was something about Luke, something that made him want to change.
“I guess I want to know how I can be sitting in bed with you, talking about why we got married when Noah’s lying in a hospital bed, and we don’t know what he’s going to be like when he wakes up.”
It always goes back to Noah. Reid promised himself that he would have to remember that for the future. “Do you want to go back to the hospital?”
“No.” Luke shook his head. “I want to stay with you.”
Reid turned and pushed forward, his chest bumped into Luke’s left shoulder. “Why?” he asked, millimeters separating them.
Again Luke’s gaze was drawn to Reid’s mouth. “Because I can’t do anything for Noah.”
The redhead jerked away. There was his answer. It wasn’t the one he wanted, but it was the only one Luke could give him. “Well, there is one thing you can do for him.”
“What’s that?” Luke murmured, his gaze drawn to Reid’s mouth again.
“Sleep,” Reid said and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, his back to Luke. “You need to rest, and so do I.” He sat for a moment, taking a breath, and that was when he felt Luke’s hand on his shoulder.
“Reid…”
He closed his eyes; he couldn’t do this. And he was tired of setting himself up to feel this way. “Good night, Luke.” He quickly stood up and left the room. His heart pounded faster with each step pushing him further and further away from Luke.
Luke sat for a few moments, staring at the door half-expecting Reid to come back. And why would he, Snyder? he questioned. You’re married to the guy, sitting in bed with him, and you mention another man’s name? After reminding himself of who that man was and why Reid was there, a familiar feeling of guilt settled like a rock in his stomach. He might be attracted to his husband, but there was Noah and the fact that Reid was Noah’s doctor. It was too complicated, and it was too hard. Luke couldn’t think about Reid as anything more than a friend, and he had to wonder if they were even that.
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Thank you so much for reading. Short and sweet chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.
Onto Chapter Seven...