Here's the reason my friends and I shouldn't be allowed in public.

And the reason I shouldn't be allowed around fire.

So, I was working at Studio 71 last night, and as usual there were junior high kids in the store who thought they were cool, despite the well known fact that no one in junior high is cool. I felt compelled to teach these foolish children a lesson, so I turned into Juggernaut and punched the one that seemed to be the leader through the window, ( Read more... )

Attention everyone, I have some great news for mankind. I've recently caught wind that a male birth-control pill is in the works. "But Josh, you're single. You aren't getting any tail, so what do you care?" That may be true, my friends, but I think you fail to see the implications here in terms of equality between men and women. Notice how the word ( Read more... )

If you're looking for something worth reading, come back after I get some sleep ( Read more... )

We all know that racism is bad, but I have finally come up with an irrifutable proof of that fact. I call it the Argument from Stones ( Read more... )

Attention everyone. Captain Maddox will be gracing the state of Michigan with his presence, which Michigan is unworthy of, by the way. He will be signing copies of the newest edition of the Bible, which has changed it's title to The Alphabet of Manliness, on Tuesday, June 27 at 7 PM, at the Borders at 612 E Liberty in Ann Arbor. Anyone wishing to ( Read more... )

Alright kids, here's my plea. There is a vaccine that is either out now, or is coming out very soon, that will protect against HPV. HPV is the most common STD in America. It's a virus that causes genital warts. There is a specific strain of HPV (one that never leaves the body once contracted) that causes cervical cancer in women and occasionally ( Read more... )

I saw this on someone's journal, and I recently came under the compulsion that I had to stand up against it. This is not meant as a dig against women, nor as a dig against the person who posted it. It is meant as a dig at the sexist view of relationships put forth by the original composer, and I object to the claim that it was written by a man. ( Read more... )

"I have feelings for you. Can I prolapse your anus?"

For those of you who don't know, anal prolapse is where your intestines fall out of your butt, a condition which is made more likely by anal sex.

It seems that my last entry has sparked some controversy. What some people don't seem to get is when I say things like that, I'm half kidding. Of course, this means that I'm half serious, and I am, but for good reason. There is no denying that there are a lot of stupid people in the world. Most people, of both genders, are stupid. I really only ( Read more... )