Comments | grand_national: For Wild Magelet

gilpin25 in grand_national

For Wild Magelet

May 16, 2007 14:35

Title: One Cool Cookie.
Author: gilpin25
Format: One-shot
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 for innuendo, swearing and sexual references. Occasionally all three in the same sentence. ;)
Word Count: 9959
Summary: Sometimes all it takes is a visit from a passing Dragon Keeper to bring to the surface things that were so well hidden people didn't even know they were ( Read more... )

Comments 7

shimotsuki May 17 2007, 03:40:49 UTC

I'm a little too sleepy to be coherent just now, but I had to post to say how much I loved this story. The shift among the different voices is really nicely done, as is Tonks's temporary confusion, enjoying being "popular" where she never was, but then realizing what's really important to her.

you have to take in order to be teased and Moony gives all the time -- So wonderful, because it's really perceptive about Remus to start with; and then it gives us insight into the caring side of Sirius, that he would notice this; and finally it lets us watch right along with Sirius as Remus and Tonks care about each other without fully understanding it ( ... )

gilpin25 May 18 2007, 21:44:39 UTC

Thank you for such a lovely, thoughtful review. Just sometimes, stories don't seem like work at all, and this was one of those rare ones so I'm quite fond of it myself! Perhaps it was because I was only able to write in short bursts because of the annoying back or something, though I'm not sure I want to try that method every time, lol.

I have to say that I hadn't really got a clue what I was going to do with Charlie when I started this; I didn't really want to make him a "Sexbomb" yet he'd got to be someone that would worry Remus, so the obvious starting point was that he was almost everything Remus was telling himself he wanted for Tonks - a young, decent guy - but couldn't bear the sight of when it came to the crunch.

I don't really like repeating ideas in fics but there was a line in Even More about Remus being a giver, not a taker, and that led to the idea of him being teased and Sirius recognising it as something out of the ordinary for him. Which I hope fits in with the Remus we see in the books, who wants so very much to ( ... )

mrstater May 18 2007, 13:33:13 UTC

Every time you write a new R/T fic, it becomes my new favorite of yours. How do you do it? I guess there's probably not an answer to that question, but I'm very glad you do it. :)

I might have mentioned that I absolutely love this, but I have to say it again. I absolutely love this. At first when I saw you'd done the first person POV in alternating character voices I thought it might be a bit like We Three Kings, but this was absolutely different, and I especially liked the different Sirius you wrote here. He's not as internal, not quite as self-centered, and I like how even though he says things like for the first time ever Remus stands a better chance of getting shagged than he does, there's also a sense the Sirius is impressed with Remus and thinks he's the cool one and worthy of respect (I love that he says Tonks deserves him), and maybe wishes he could be a bit like that, too. It's not something that's often done, or maybe I just haven't read enough Sirius POV, but here you've really captured Sirius' better qualities ( ... )

mrstater May 18 2007, 13:41:04 UTC

Gah! I totally forgot to mention Charlie! I really like your characterization of him. He's a lot like Ron, I think, if Ron weren't the youngest kid. He oozes the confidence and charm the older Weasley boys should have, he's a bit of a dumb jock and completely, utterly, male like Ron, but with a good heart like everyone in that family but Percy has. So it was at once easy to see why Tonks would be mildly interested -- at least in what she'd never had -- and why Remus would want to work all sorts of Marauder tricks against him. And again it was Sirius' take I liked the most, because Mr. Popularity didn't see anything so special in Charlie, which really fits with the Sirius who spoke to Harry after the Pensieve thing. Sirius maybe sees a bit of himself, or a bit of James the kid, but he does know what it means to be an adult. And Charlie's not quite there. ;)

Anyway, enough from me now.

gilpin25 May 22 2007, 11:57:42 UTC

Have I mentioned how seriously freaked I was when there was you having dreams about We Three Kings and then godricgal bringing it up as well while I was trying to write the last bit of this? Still haven't made my mind up if you two are studying Divination in your spare time or have somehow attached a webcam to this ( ... )

wildmagelet May 20 2007, 05:31:13 UTC

And this is just as fantastic as I was expecting. Thank you so much. The change in narrative voices is hard to pull off, but you've done it very believably. It's hard to believe that all those points-of-view and ways of thinking and speaking actually came from the mind of one person! :) The multiple viewpoints really add a lot to this story, though, because I love that we get to see Remus's POV at the beginning and hear mostly from Tonks as things progress. And of course Sirius is the fantastically crass and bored, but sarcastically caring outside narrator. I thought that Part of me envies them a bit but, quite honestly, it also seems like a different world. was such a simple sentence, but really profound summary of what post-prison life must have been like for Sirius, even for such a brief time.

I think one of the things that really makes the story come alive are the little details, like Remus rubbing his forehead and laughing while he listens to Tonks talk about her day. And the imagery, like except Moony, who has a blank ( ... )

gilpin25 May 21 2007, 16:11:58 UTC

You're more than welcome. :)

Especially as it would never have entered my head to write Charlie and Remus competing for Tonks - I've enjoyed stories where people have written Mr Weasley a lot, but I've never thought that much about him myself. So I was a bit "Er..." at first, because I didn't really want to make him some kind of Sex God (as we all know that's Remus;)), but obviously he had to be a threat to him and attractive to Tonks, although possibly not for the reasons Remus fears. Which brought me round to the "Tonks deserves someone young and whole" remark in HBP; Sirius actually says what this Charlie is, not too subtle, not too bright, but a decent guy who is lots of fun, and yet Remus can't stand the sight of her with him. Obviously if it had only happened exactly like this, then HBP could easily have been avoided, lol.

Anyway all that to say, I am so glad you enjoyed it. I was a bit dubious about doing different POV again after We Three Kings, but it seemed an ideal way of having a narrator who alternates between ( ... )