Short Story
In a room on the top floor of a large apartment complex, three people in three different places were carrying on.
The woman with beautiful arms, was clutching a bed sheet to her breast, forgetting that the sheet couldn't do two things at once, like, cover her and her bare knees at the same time. All the while crying and sobbing:
"Baby, I swear to you it wasn't my fault! He's the one..He set my mind in a tizzy by seducing me..and may I add against my will. I swear I resisted!"
One of the guys, still in his overcoat and hat from the rain outside, yelling and screaming to the other guy. "You fucking bastard, I'll show you what a piece of shit you are for what you did and there won't be the law or anyone else on your side!"
Now the other guy was a young dude just standing there with hardly any clothes on. But with dignity exclaimed..."What?!..I didn't do anything", looking at the woman he just spent the past four hours with thoughts penetrated his memory of how she had approached him in the bar and talked of loneliness and lack of affection. "I didn't do a thing. I-" he stopped, sadly gazing into an empty corner of the room.
"You haven't?...Take this..."
The strong man, still in his soaked overcoat, flung open the window and looking out over the street, grabbed the young boy, still missheveled, and threw him out.
Finding himself flying through the air and realizing that he still was grasping on to his shirt, bashfully put it on and found himself whispering:
"Fuck that, whatever hurts you, only makes you stronger."
And he kept on falling.
A deep sigh came over him before he had even reached the next floor. Thinking of the woman, and how bitter it was of her to just sit there, while at the same time delighted by the sensation of flying.
"That bitch! he thought. "I loved her! She just sat there. She couldn't even confess to her husband what SHE did! Fuck her..I don't need her. She was just using me. She means nothing to me now."
By now, as he flew past a window, he saw a young stundent reading a book with his head propped up by his skinny arms on a lopsided table.
Seeing him, the young guy who was falling thought about his own life. How he just went on through life with it's easy distractions, forgetful of learning and books. He suddenly felt drawn to pursuing knowledge, to discover nature and all of it's mystery with an open mind, search for truth and read all of the great masters of words.
"Dude!" He wanted to cry out to the guy reading. "You have saved me..You have cured me from all aspirations of nothingness and the empty infatuations with the vanities of life. Such as what happened in the apartment right above you!"
But he didn't call out. I guess he didn't want to distract the kid from his studying. And so he continued to fall.
Here, his thoughts took a different turn.
As he peered into the next window, his heart contracted a sweet pain, while his head grew dizzy from delight and enchantment.
A beautiful young woman sitting at the window with a sewing machine in front of her working on something but her beautiful white hands forgot about work for a moment and her eyes-her pale blue eyes- staring in the distance, pensive and dreamy.
He could not take his eyes off of her, and some new feeling, something he had never felt before in his short life, filled his heart.
It was here that he understood that all his former encounters with women had been no more than empty infatuations, and only now he understood that mysterious word-Love.
He was attracted to the thought of a domestic life. To the thought of being loved beyond words. A smiling existance, joyful and peaceful.
Still..he fell.
In the next window he saw a mother bouncing a plump smiling baby while singing a soft lullaby and laughing. Her eyes sparkling with love and maternal pride.
"I want to marry the girl on the floor above you and have my own rosey fat children just as you do." he thought. "And I would devote my entire life to my family and find true happiness in this self-sacrifice."
But he was falling to fast. And what he saw in the next window made his heart contract.
A man with messy hair and dead eyes was seated at the rather large and luxurious writing table staring at a framed photo before him; at the same time he was writing with his left hand and, holding a revlover in his right, was pressing the muzzle to his temple.
"No! Stop!" the young man wanted to scream. "Life is so beautiful!".But he refrained.
Staring at the richness and comfort of the room, the young man thought that there was something else in life that could disrupt all this comfort and contentment, as well as a whole family; something of utmost force...mighty...terrific.
"What can it be?!" he thought. His heart heavy with wonderment. Just at that moment, Life's answer was given to him in the form of the window on the next floor, which he had reached by now.
Slightly concealed by the drapes, a man was sitting at the window dressed in a nice coat and vest. A half dressed woman was sitting on his knees entwining his head with her rosey arms a hugging him passionately while her breasts fed him comfort...
The young man still flying recognized her. He had seen this woman before walking with her husband and that this man was defenitely not her husband. Her husband was older, with curly black hair, half gray, while this man was younger and beautiful fair hair.
By now the young man was thinking of all his former plans: of studying..of marrying the girl..of peaceful, domestic life-and once again his heart was heavily oppressed by the thought of the man who wanted to free himself of the torments of Life.
"How can someone think that living is not worth while?!" he thought. "That is both foolish and tormenting." "From now on, I will not waste one moment on my past mistakes-after all, flowers need shit to grow."
Nor did his heart tremble when his hands touched the pavement, breaking all those now useless members, he spilled his brains against the hard flagstone.
It never occured to the curious who had gathered around his motionless body, what a complex drama the young man had just lived through just a few seconds before.
..if you clinge to life you die...
.. if you defy death you live...