Keepin Up Appearances -- Chapter 4
Well, readers, wonders never cease... Chapter 4
Title: Keepin Up Appearances (Ch. 4)
Author: Isabelle
Rating; NC-17
Genre: AU/AUish
Summary: Jack and Ennis meet in 1980 when their wives are friends...
A/N: The state flower of Texas is the bluebonnet; a member of the lupine family.
Chapter 4
He knew he wasn’t supposed to go out hunting without KE, but he was 12 now and KE hated him tagging along anyway. KE had a new girl too, Ennis was just the third wheel. He took his daddy’s bolt action .22 and was determined to bring home his own deer; that’d show his Daddy and KE he was grown up enough. Well that was the plan at least, but he was lost now. Knew he had left their property and was heading north and his Daddy was always very specific about him crossing their northern fence line. His curiosity had gotten the best of him and he just hoped whoever’s property he was on didn’t shoot trespassers on sight. He was tracking a mule doe and she was slow going, like she was hurt or something, he knew he could get her before anyone knew he had crossed the property line. His daddy had shown him really early in life how to move silently through the brush, the deer would never hear him coming.
He heard the noise before he was close, sounded like a hurt animal or human. His senses immediately heightened and with all the bravery of a 12 year old boy, he got closer. They came into view soon enough, but it was another 10 feet before he saw it was two men. He’d only seen the sheep and horses do what these men were doing, he knew it was the same thing because the livestock made the same noises.
He saw two horses tied to a tree 15 feet from where the two men knelt. Recognized the horses before he recognized the men. Daddy always warned him in no uncertain terms to stay far away from these fellas, knew he’d get a beating for sure if his Daddy knew where he was. Had little time to think of that, his eyes were drawn to where these two men were. He instinctively knew he shouldn’t be watching this, that he was intruding on something private, but his feet were cemented in place. Wasn’t really sure until he asked KE later what exactly they were doing, but they both seemed to be enjoying themselves. Ennis was an early bloomer, as his mama called him and he had already embarrassed himself and her enough with the stains on his sheets, but never had he seen something made him want to bring that feeling on in the light of day. And just like the horses, when they finished, all the energy seemed drained out of them, both laying back and breathing deep. He was sure one of them spotted him then. The bigger one’s eyes narrowed in his direction, like he had spotted some prey or predator. At that Ennis took off running.
He ran for what felt like an hour, his lungs and muscles burning. He ran until he knew he’d crossed back onto their diminutive little ranch, but didn’t stop running. He should feel relieved he had escaped, but he had a terrible sense of foreboding; he had seen something he shouldn’t have seen although he wasn’t quite sure exactly what he’d been watching. Couldn’t outrun the way that sight made him feel, he was all tingly and light-headed. His penis was hard and he wanted to touch it, like he knew KE did all the time but mama said that was wrong. He ran to their barn, maybe KE would be there. When he got to the barn, it was empty. Daddy had taken mama and Lois into town for a doctor’s appointment and KE was off with his new girl, Ennis was all alone.
He finally gave into that urge all 12 year old boys have, it was quick and over in seconds, but the shame still burned his face. He knew somewhere in the back of his brain what he saw was wrong, it wasn’t supposed to make him feel that way, only your wife should give you those feelings, Daddy’d explained.
He later told KE what he’d seen, but never told him about what he’d done in the barn, that was a secret he would never share with anyone. Wished he hadn’t told KE any of it, KE was horrified and pissed off. At first Ennis thought KE was mad at him because he had gone off by himself, that night after dinner his Daddy had called him over and told him to sit down. KE had told on him!
He knew he’d get a lickin for sure now, but something on his Daddy’s face was different. He asked Ennis to tell him very carefully what he’d seen. Ennis told him everything he had seen, but left out his fear and confusion over it. Just told him he’d seen the men that ranched to the north of them ‘breedin’ like the sheep do’ in a culvert about five hundred yards away from their fence line. He was sure his daddy’d kill him, but he just put both hands on his son’s shoulders and said, “boy, you listen good, I’s told you ta never ever go on those mens’ land. They are bad men and you need to stay far, far away from them. You go to bed now and forget everything you saw; Daddy’ll take care of this.”
He had left a message with the receptionist at Newsome’s Farm Equipment’s Amarillo Branch. Short and to the point, Jack, can’t make it this weekend, something’s come up. Felt like a fuckin coward, but knew he couldn’t tell Jack to his face and was too scared to be out in the middle of now where with that man. He hadn’t had these feelings since he was a kid; couldn’t deal with that right now.
Cassie’d thrown a hellfire fit when he told her he was calling off their fishing trip. She and Lureen had already planned a girls’ getaway to the outlet malls. He told her she could go, but she was still pissed he was turning away the only friend he’d made in-well, ever. Couldn’t really explain to her why. How do you tell your wife you shook another man’s hand and got a hard-on? He knew he wasn’t a damn queer, fucked his wife two or three times a week. Jack had a kid, rode bulls, he wasn’t queer neither, but he’d had the hard-on to match Ennis’s. He couldn’t face Jack and when he heard the phone ringin, then Cassie calling out to him, “Hon, it’s for you,” he fled to the barn, hiding his head in the sand like those giant birds he’d seen on TV that one time.
He stayed out past supper, which wasn’t so unusual as to cause Cassie alarm, but this time he was hidin. Hidin from Cassie’s constant questions about why he’d canceled on Jack, why he didn’t want to go fishing, why he was such a loner and hiding from that damn phone. New it was Jack, brazen son-of-a-bitch, calling to demand a reason like he didn’t have the answer already. Something about the way Jack hadn’t backed off when he’d noticed how hard they both were petrified Ennis. Wrestlin with him like they were boys and then even after the awkward moment, Jack had still invited him fishin. ...cabin out in Palo Duro Canyon, Ennis’d said yes before he even thought about it. His heart had skipped a beat and the word was out of his mouth in no time flat. Wasn’t really into fishin, but loved the outdoors and he had really enjoyed Jack’s company, despite his body’s betrayal, he’d wanted to go. Now he not only felt guilty, felt down-right disappointed. Nothin to look forward to now, no getting away from the ranch or the wife, no shooting the breeze with the only real friend he’d ever had, no drinking whiskey and sitting in companionable silence next to another man could appreciate nature. Couldn’t really put his finger on it, but canceling on Jack made him feel worse than bad.
He was about to call it quits and go in the house, he was famished and was running out of chores to do, when he saw the headlights coming down the drive. They didn’t stop at the house, but bounced down the gravel road to the barn. He knew right away who is was, no one else would be comin out here this late and no one else drove that damn loud diesel like a bat out of hell. His stomach did a flip-flop and he absently tucked his shirt in, cursing himself for it.
Jack’s truck door slammed and he could hear his boots stompin to the barn door. Even his footfalls sounded pissed. He didn’t pretend he wasn’t there, but turned around and waited for that blue-eyed devil to make an appearance, trying to figure out exactly what he was going to say. Didn’t matter, though, because Jack was runnin his mouth before he even reached the barn.
“Ennis, Ennnnnis,” he hollered, “I know your out here.”
Ennis didn’t answer, couldn’t loosen his tongue enough to even call out, but stood there and waited like some big, dumb animal. Jack heaved open the door to the barn with too much force, it sliding on its rickety track and bouncing back, almost cutting Jack off.
“Damn it, I’ve been trying to call you all night!” Ennis could tell he’d been drinkin before that first sentence finished.
“Been out, workin,” was all he could think to say.
“Working?” he echoed.
“Yeah, gotta a ranch to run,” his defensives were already up.
“That why you cancel on me? Leave a goddamn message…”
“Sorry, figured you’d understand,” he knew his response was lacking, but couldn’t organize his thoughts with those eyes blazin at him.
“Well, I don’t fuckin understand,” Jack raged, he wasn’t drunk just yet, but well on his way, “was really lookin forward to this weekend.”
Ennis was immediately contrite, those eyes told volumes sober, but the liquor seemed to open up something in them and all Ennis could see now was a disappointed little boy, “me too, bud, something just came up.”
“What?” he demanded, not giving an inch.
“Work, one of the boys called in sick this weekend,” it was a quick lie, and a bad one at that.
“On Tuesday?” One of the ones don’t speak English called in sick four days early?”
“Jack…”
“What’s the real reason you canceled on me, Ennis?” he demanded and Ennis felt the energy snap in the barn. Jack was too close and asking too many damn questions.
“I fuckin told you,” he growled, stompin up to Jack, “you don’t believe me, huh?”
“I don’t fuckin believe you. I’m wondering why you even agreed in the first place if you didn’t want to,” the liquor was talkin now and Jack’s voice had a ragged edge to it that pained Ennis to hear.
“You been drinkin,” it wasn’t really a question.
“Why do you care? I can handle my fuckin whiskey.”
“You drive all the way out here drunk?” Ennis asked, his voice sounded harsher than he wanted it to.
“Why are you avoiding my question? Why did you cancel?” Jack demanded, undeterred.
“Cause…” he mumbled, feeling about as stupid as he sounded.
“Cause why? Thought we was friends. Even your wife told me you don’t have any friends, was shocked we took on so well…” Jack trailed off, those eyes like the state flower takin his measure.
“It ain’t that Jack… I just…” he stuttered, no idea how to handle this new Jack, he was sure he looked like a hunted animal.
“You just what?” he demanded, poking his finger into Ennis’s chest.
Ennis temper flared, getting right up in Jack’s face, “Whiskey makin you fuckin crazy! Mind you own damn business.”
Jack’s reaction was delayed, but Ennis saw the fire die in his eyes, “Fine Ennis, I’ll mind my own damn business. Go fuck yourself,” and with that he turned around to stomp off.
Ennis raced after him, grabbing his elbow, “Where the hell you going? I ain’t letting your drive like this.”
Jack’s voice was like iron, “Fuckin let go of my arm.”
“I ain’t lettin you leave all drunk and angry…”
“Why do you fuckin care? Huh? My whiskey is my business.” Jack hissed, his voice harsh and strained.
“What the hell, Jack? I ain’t never seen you like this…” Ennis whispered, his mouth right up against Jack’s ear, holding his elbow hard enough to bruise.
All the fight seemed to leak out of him and he slumped, his back makin contact with Ennis’s chest. Ennis immediately felt the jolt shoot through his body straight to his crotch. Jack forced out a breath, leaning back into the body behind him.
“Ain’t nothin you can do anything about, Ennis, nothin…”
“You say we’re friends, maybe I can help…,” he felt helpless, “something wrong with Lureen?”
“Enniiiiiiis,” Jack hissed, a pleading note in his voice, “don’t.”
His body was still so close and he seemed so lost, the overwhelming need to help him was unbearable. He was still gripping his elbow with white knuckles and Ennis pulled him closer and whispered, “tell me what to do, Jack. Don’t like seeing you like this.”
Jack spun around, mere millimeters separated them, “what I want you to do could get me killed, Ennis,” he murmured, his eyes falling to Ennis’s mouth.
Ennis thought he understood, recognized that look in Jack’s eyes. His brain skittered away terrified, but his body had a mind of its own, releasing Jack’s elbow and runnin his big hand up his arm, squeezing Jack’s shoulder. Jack seemed to take this as a good sign and surged toward Ennis, pressing their bodies together from boots to chest.
“Tell me your okay with this...” he murmured, not waiting for an answer and divin into Ennis’s mouth.
If Ennis’d thought shaking his hand got him riled up, the feel of his stubble on his face and his hot whiskey breath ramped his erection into overdrive. Before he knew it he had Jack’s face between his hands and was jamming their mouths together. The moment Jack’s mouth opened to his and that tongue touched his, he groaned deep in his chest. Jesus Christ, Jack was moaning back and tramping on his boots, scrabbling to get them closer. They were both hard as iron and Ennis’s hips kept surging into Jack’s until he was afraid he was going to come in his pants.
His senses didn’t come back to him until he felt his back slam into the barn wall and Jack’s teeth draw blood from his lower lip. It took all his willpower to force Jack to arms length, even as his eyes fell down to take in the hard length about to bust through Jack’s jeans. Jack was beyond reason, trying to push himself back against Ennis.
“Jesus, Ennis, I…” he moaned. Jack’s low, guttural voice seemed to slam through his head, bringing back memories of two men rutting and his adolescent shame in another barn. He shoved Jack hard, his friend falling back in the dirt and straw. Jack’s eyes went from aroused to terrified to angry in a split second, “what the hell…?” .
Ennis couldn’t look at him, the confusion and mad in those eyes not masking the heat he'd created just seconds earlier. Didn’t know what to say or what to do, so he just turned around and left, walking fast back to the house and back to Cassie.